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a word about Jealousy

JustwhenIthought...

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This popped up as a meme in my FB “news” feed this weekend:

The Moment You Start Elevating Is The Moment Your Circle Gets Smaller.

It was posted by a mom whose sons are experiencing very good success in wrestling. This family is so invested in their sons’ successes that they have moved out of their home state, to a state known for its wrestling.

This wrestling mom then made a comment associated with the post, “....I would think the more you elevate the more people would want to naturally climb with you, but the meme seems to have more truth.” This would lead FB friends to assume people are no longer supporting her family in the numbers she would like and that the cause of the withdrawal of support would be the direct effect of her 3 sons’ achievements.

I have had many opportunities to witness the behavior of parents with very talented kids in both skating and gymnastics. Some parents of these talented athletes have a wide net of support from other parents, and some parents are alienated. It’s been my observation that the families who are alienated from team members have at least one family member, or more, that is lacking humility, leadership, and sportsmanship and promote their children at the expense of others.

In direct contrast, the parents who get along with everyone have a tendency not to even discuss their child in a way that would make anyone believe they realize their child has talent. Instead they practice autonomy from their child, and allow their child’s achievements to speak for themselves.

Last week I spent time with a very young skating mom whose beautiful daughter is coming up through my daughter’s competitive skating club. It was a “volunteer” situation and we were forced together for hours. She spent a good amount of our time together self promoting and bragging about her daughter. The mom is very young, and very proud, so as a parent whose daughter will be wrapping up her club skating next year, and confident where my daughter fits in, I humored her. Maybe I should have stopped her and put the bug in her ear that, not only is there a lot of talent in the world, but in the club as well, but I choose not to. I was actually getting a kick out of it, silently recalling the days when I shared the same excitement and daydreams as this young mom, but by hour four I was growing a bit weary and grateful to part ways with this woman.

Somewhere near the end of the conversation, she shared with me that she and her daughter had become victims of poor treatment by other moms and daughters in the club. They weren’t including her daughter in their carpools, or activities outside the club. There had been problems on social media. Same ‘ol story, different sport.
She then told me that she went to the coaches for help, in other words, she tattled. Their response to her was why I felt moved to write this. They used one word, Jealousy. They brushed off the exclusion of her daughter as catty moms taking out their jealous rages on this poor guilt-free mother and daughter. She was left with the impression that she is defenseless from the poor treatment by these other moms, and she just needs to accept her fate. That’s when I finally stepped in and told her exactly how I felt about coaches solving this age old problem by using the word Jealousy.

Coaches, I know the last thing you want included in your job description is “defender of the drama, and keeper of the peace.” But I think it’s important for you to know that when you tell a parent they are being treated poorly because of jealousy, you are removing all avenues for that parent to try to have a moment of self-reflection and awareness, and you are stripping them of empowerment. It stops them from trying to be conscious of the behavior that might be causing this alienation. Sure, there is jealousy associated with sport, but please give the benefit of the doubt to the parents who aren’t even there to defend themselves, or give their version of the truth, from the accusation of this ugly, personality flaw, because there is a very good chance it isn’t true. It could be they have just grown weary of your parent’s ego.

Is there any other way to resolve this kind of situation, or is regurgitating, “jealousy” just the easy way to end an uncomfortable situation that you’ve been placed in momentarily? Because let me tell you what happens next when this parent walks away from you, thinking that the world is jealous of their kid. They believe, even more now, that their kid is extra special, more than any other, and their ego has grown even bigger. The situation then escalates, causing the “offending” parents to withdraw even more. The friction in the waiting room of your team becomes more palpable and a great divide happens. Parents feel like they need to pick sides. In other words - using the word “jealousy” is not helping to get your athlete invited to the birthday parties; And it makes things terribly uncomfortable for us parents. There is a level of tension that lingers and never goes away, even with time.

Coaches, would a better response be: “Congratulations, you have a very talented athlete and we are thrilled she is here. She is part of a team of very talented athletes. Let your daughter prove where she fits in with her growth and achievements, because no one will be able to debate her success when she is standing on the podium. In the meantime, you have the responsibility of being a leader in humility and to continue to lift up all the girls, as much or more than you lift up your own, so that we can elevate this team to unimaginable heights. I’m counting on you to find a way to get along with those parents, but it won’t be by promoting your own child to them, let them know you believe in their child as much as your own.”

I know lives that have been negatively impacted because of this ugly word Jealousy. Let’s stop using it.
 

Gymx2

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This is where I'll admit that I used to watch The Bachelor. Guilty pleasure. The really mean, but very pretty girl, who alienated everyone right away always claimed that other women never liked her because "they are all jealous!" Meanwhile, she was a terrible person. I think of that every time I hear that people are being treated badly because other people are jealous. :D
 

LJL07

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I have had many opportunities to witness the behavior of parents with very talented kids in both skating and gymnastics. Some parents of these talented athletes have a wide net of support from other parents, and some parents are alienated. It’s been my observation that the families who are alienated from team members have at least one family member, or more, that is lacking humility, leadership, and sportsmanship and promote their children at the expense of others.
Yes. This is why I can't stand some of those instagymnast accounts (they aren't all bad, but some are way over the top). They just reek of reality TV. There is one child in our area who has become a local "gymnastics" celebrity of sorts due to the mother's constant promoting on instagram. The mother has moved from gym to gym demanding privates and special treatment for her child at every turn. It really is at the expense of other children, although the mother is either completely lacking in self-awareness or she just flat out does not care. She has alienated most families at gyms in the area but has certainly acquired lots of instagram friendships. It's sad really. And conversely, there are plenty of equally talented children whose family do none of this, and I really enjoy watching their progress and seeing their success.
 
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Gymnastmomma2010

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I have to agree. DD Did very well in her 3 years of artistic. With the exception of one season. And I can only think of 2 times we encountered jealousy. And both times were with crazy gym parents. The kind that watched every practice and would coach from the sidelines. One of them I was actually warned about by other parents when DD first started lol

I would get super uncomfortable when people would go on and on about her. Maybe because Im just socially awkward in general. Lol and Im sure I may have rubbed some the wrong way with that. But I always tried to not be braggy. I would only talk about her placement at a meet if asked. And I always tried to make it a point to be enthusiastic about the others girls accomplishments. When DD quit it didn't seem like any parent or gymnast on her team was happy. Sometimes, yes it is jealousy. But sometimes you're the CGM every one wants to avoid lol
 

Cheryl

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Although I know it exists, the boys tend to have lots less jealousy and drama. While they are certainly competitive, it seems to be mostly about how well they do based on their personal goals. They also hang out together and I can’t think of a time one was excluded. Sure, they bicker because they are 12-14 year olds, and once my son said a teammate would make a great Real Housewife, because he “brings the drama”, but it wasn’t about performance.

I have heard things from parents of girl gymnasts that would make me cringe.
 

kendo348

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This is important! And I think your perception of how the jealousy answer harms and hinders the parent in question is insightful.

Much of the anti-CGM focus is on how it harms the athlete because they are being pushed too hard, but this alienation of their support base is an additional large reason to NOT approach kids sports that way. Gymnastics is a tough road and to me, having friends and other parents who actually like you and want to support you both emotionally and in tangible ways (aka carpooling) is critical. When it’s a lonely road, you probably aren’t going to get very far.

There used to be a mom at our gym who checked every box for CGM. She finally moved her daughter to a gym that would let her skip a level when our gym wouldn’t... and everyone left breathed a silent sigh of relief because the mom’s gossip and constant bragging had been bringing everybody down. I don’t think she knew; I think she really believed she was doing what a great parent should do and I just feel sorry for her. She tried to set up carpool with me at one point and I found reasons to decline. Not because we were secretly jealous or because I had any problem with her daughter, but because I didn’t want her mindset messing with my kid.

So I agree that jealousy is probably rarely the reason that parents exclude other parents, unless all parties in question are over-involved parents! In those cases I can see jealousy being the cause. But for rational gym parents, if they are excluding others it’s probably because they are doing their best to keep their kid away from an unhealthy environment.
 
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Gymx2

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Although I know it exists, the boys tend to have lots less jealousy and drama. While they are certainly competitive, it seems to be mostly about how well they do based on their personal goals. They also hang out together and I can’t think of a time one was excluded. Sure, they bicker because they are 12-14 year olds, and once my son said a teammate would make a great Real Housewife, because he “brings the drama”, but it wasn’t about performance.

I have heard things from parents of girl gymnasts that would make me cringe.
So far my experience has been that it's totally different with boy's gymnastics- I haven't come across any remotely crazy gym parents on the boys side. We're only heading into the second season of competition with DS, but the boys are all buddies and there has been no drama.
 
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Flicfliclay

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This popped up as a meme in my FB “news” feed this weekend:

The Moment You Start Elevating Is The Moment Your Circle Gets Smaller.

It was posted by a mom whose sons are experiencing very good success in wrestling. This family is so invested in their sons’ successes that they have moved out of their home state, to a state known for its wrestling.

This wrestling mom then made a comment associated with the post, “....I would think the more you elevate the more people would want to naturally climb with you, but the meme seems to have more truth.” This would lead FB friends to assume people are no longer supporting her family in the numbers she would like and that the cause of the withdrawal of support would be the direct effect of her 3 sons’ achievements.

I have had many opportunities to witness the behavior of parents with very talented kids in both skating and gymnastics. Some parents of these talented athletes have a wide net of support from other parents, and some parents are alienated. It’s been my observation that the families who are alienated from team members have at least one family member, or more, that is lacking humility, leadership, and sportsmanship and promote their children at the expense of others.

In direct contrast, the parents who get along with everyone have a tendency not to even discuss their child in a way that would make anyone believe they realize their child has talent. Instead they practice autonomy from their child, and allow their child’s achievements to speak for themselves.

Last week I spent time with a very young skating mom whose beautiful daughter is coming up through my daughter’s competitive skating club. It was a “volunteer” situation and we were forced together for hours. She spent a good amount of our time together self promoting and bragging about her daughter. The mom is very young, and very proud, so as a parent whose daughter will be wrapping up her club skating next year, and confident where my daughter fits in, I humored her. Maybe I should have stopped her and put the bug in her ear that, not only is there a lot of talent in the world, but in the club as well, but I choose not to. I was actually getting a kick out of it, silently recalling the days when I shared the same excitement and daydreams as this young mom, but by hour four I was growing a bit weary and grateful to part ways with this woman.

Somewhere near the end of the conversation, she shared with me that she and her daughter had become victims of poor treatment by other moms and daughters in the club. They weren’t including her daughter in their carpools, or activities outside the club. There had been problems on social media. Same ‘ol story, different sport.
She then told me that she went to the coaches for help, in other words, she tattled. Their response to her was why I felt moved to write this. They used one word, Jealousy. They brushed off the exclusion of her daughter as catty moms taking out their jealous rages on this poor guilt-free mother and daughter. She was left with the impression that she is defenseless from the poor treatment by these other moms, and she just needs to accept her fate. That’s when I finally stepped in and told her exactly how I felt about coaches solving this age old problem by using the word Jealousy.

Coaches, I know the last thing you want included in your job description is “defender of the drama, and keeper of the peace.” But I think it’s important for you to know that when you tell a parent they are being treated poorly because of jealousy, you are removing all avenues for that parent to try to have a moment of self-reflection and awareness, and you are stripping them of empowerment. It stops them from trying to be conscious of the behavior that might be causing this alienation. Sure, there is jealousy associated with sport, but please give the benefit of the doubt to the parents who aren’t even there to defend themselves, or give their version of the truth, from the accusation of this ugly, personality flaw, because there is a very good chance it isn’t true. It could be they have just grown weary of your parent’s ego.

Is there any other way to resolve this kind of situation, or is regurgitating, “jealousy” just the easy way to end an uncomfortable situation that you’ve been placed in momentarily? Because let me tell you what happens next when this parent walks away from you, thinking that the world is jealous of their kid. They believe, even more now, that their kid is extra special, more than any other, and their ego has grown even bigger. The situation then escalates, causing the “offending” parents to withdraw even more. The friction in the waiting room of your team becomes more palpable and a great divide happens. Parents feel like they need to pick sides. In other words - using the word “jealousy” is not helping to get your athlete invited to the birthday parties; And it makes things terribly uncomfortable for us parents. There is a level of tension that lingers and never goes away, even with time.

Coaches, would a better response be: “Congratulations, you have a very talented athlete and we are thrilled she is here. She is part of a team of very talented athletes. Let your daughter prove where she fits in with her growth and achievements, because no one will be able to debate her success when she is standing on the podium. In the meantime, you have the responsibility of being a leader in humility and to continue to lift up all the girls, as much or more than you lift up your own, so that we can elevate this team to unimaginable heights. I’m counting on you to find a way to get along with those parents, but it won’t be by promoting your own child to them, let them know you believe in their child as much as your own.”

I know lives that have been negatively impacted because of this ugly word Jealousy. Let’s stop using it.
This should be given to every athletes family the moment they sign up for team. There is a huge difference between being proud of your child and bragging at every moment your mouth opens. Thank you for sharing!
 
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cmg

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So far my experience has been that it's totally different with boy's gymnastics- I haven't come across any remotely crazy gym parents on the boys side. We're only heading into the second season of competition with DS, but the boys are all buddies and there has been no drama.
I feel like with boys gymnastics, because the development period is so much longer than with girls, there could be less drama. Girl gymnasts (supposedly) have to be level 10 by 8th grade in order to make it into college never mind elite. My perception is that boys don't have that same pressure that girls do to get to Level 10. We have both boys and girls at our gym. The boys program produces a lot of college level gymnasts due to the owner of the gym being the head coach and he has been there forever and is involved with the men's Olympic committee. He has a consistent program and he lets kids develop at their speed. The girls program has had several head coaches and we finally have one that has been consistent and is developing a strong team. I have thought about moving gyms, but there really isn't another choice in our town that would meet my daughter's needs.

Our families for both girls and boys teams work together, but I feel like the parents who wanted a more intense gymnastics experience have left so we don't have the drama. Most of the gymnasts who have left for the more high powered gym in our town have all quit gymnastics or injured out. There are drama issues on our girls team but I think it is normal stuff. Jealously does play a part but it is with the girls not the parents. They need to learn how to deal with difficult teammates, they will have difficult co-workers to deal with in the future. I do feel sorry for the parents that think they are doing right by their kid when they alienate everyone, but I agree it is usually the child's behavior that is at the core of the problem, not that she has better skills. I think this jealously stuff happens in all sports now because there is such a push to get the college scholarship, and I get the need since college is so darn expensive now. I do agree that the coaches' mentioning "jealously" did not help the situation, but team dynamics will always be hard and most coaches don't have the skills to really handle these issues properly.

So I guess the bottom line is find a gym that fits your personality and goals and deal with the problems that occur. There will always be some, no gym is perfect. Thanks for the post, it was interesting and agree more parents should be aware of how their behavior effects their kids.
 
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Cheryl

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Boys have weird age group requirements, but yes, it is much more of an "if you stick with it, you all end up in the same place attitude". It might also have to do with the fact most male elite gymnasts are well into their 20's. There are also some pretty big developmental differences in the boys, whereas the girls pretty much have ended puberty by 16. There are boys who are 16 and barely shaving and ones that could grow a full beard. My son is 14 and just discovered his Adam's apple and thought it was a weird growth. I told him it meant his voice was changing soon, but some of his friends sounded like men about a year ago. I also have a daughter and I remember her teens and in the middle school years, the drama was incredible, and there were parents who were always bragging about their kid's grades, or music, or dance, or sports, so it was more a parent thing than a kid thing - although I did once have a parent tell the parent of one of my daughter's friends that my child was the the "devil". So CGM comes in all shapes and forms
 

Flyaway

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But I think it’s important for you to know that when you tell a parent they are being treated poorly because of jealousy, you are removing all avenues for that parent to try to have a moment of self-reflection and awareness, and you are stripping them of empowerment. It stops them from trying to be conscious of the behavior that might be causing this alienation.
This whole post is wonderfully thoughtful, but the part above in particular, is perfect and applicable in so many areas of life! Thank you!
 

JustwhenIthought...

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This whole post is wonderfully thoughtful, but the part above in particular, is perfect and applicable in so many areas of life! Thank you!
Thank you flyaway, it's really the message I was trying to send. Coaches are doing a real disservice to parents when they are told other people are jealous of their kid. However, in the club where my children go, it's the standard reply to drama and In my experience, it can be very harmful.

In all honestly, maybe coaches should just say, "I'm sorry you're experiencing that" and walk away.
 

MuggleMom

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In all honestly, maybe coaches should just say, "I'm sorry you're experiencing that" and walk away.
I think in the long run this would end up causing even more problems. There are already many gyms that don't have the most open communication policies and its hard to get a response from the gym. And there are probably instances where the gym should maybe try and curb bad behaviors that are brewing. If they just said sorry you are feeling that way (even in a professional and earnest manner) I think people would take it the wrong way and say the coaches were dismissive of their concerns.

All in all I wholeheartedly agree with your original post and I think your original response you had was the best as it encourages them to take their own actions to solve their own problems without dismissing their concerns. Realistically though the worst offenders will never hear it because they want to believe all their problems are due to other people's jealousy as it requires no self reflection. Also not everyone will be best friends. I am nice to all the parents but some of them I personally have more in common with so I may chat or hang out with them more than someone else. But that doesnt mean I wouldnt help out someone else if they needed me to and it doesn't impact who my kid is friends with.
 

Jazzjerz

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This is a really insightful post, and full of tidbits to ponder. Thank you for posting!
 

Solid444

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This post was very thoughtful so thanks for posting.

But my wife and I have also been on the receiving side of things and it’s not so fun.

What happens when you relocate to a new gym bringing your DD’s who did Tops at their previous gym and you, your wife and DD’s come into the new gym and are not welcomed warmly or included because your DD’s are labeled as “tops girls”?????

The families know nothing about your family but automatically alienates your family because your girls did Tops.

I’m not saying it’s jealousy but what would you call that. We were nice to everyone, try not to talk gymnastics whenever we did watch yet some of the mom’s decided they automatically didn’t like our family nor our DD’s. What would you call that?

When people make quick judgments and labels and alienate girls because they did Tops without getting to know them...what other reason could it be?

My wife who is much more reserved than I am, would introduce herself to the moms and they would immediately say “oh you’re the mom to the tops girls” and she’d tell them her name, our girls’ names and smile as to say...please don’t identify them as “tops girls” and they would ask her a million questions then say how she (the coach) didn’t choose their DD for tops.

I say all this to say, sometimes those coaches are right about the jealousy. We would never tell our DDs this to avoid putting this in their brains and we don’t buy into this and run with it, we shrug and move on because it’s their loss. But youth sport brings out the ugly in parents and we all have witnessed it in gymnastics. Parents get all up in arms the moment they think your DDs’ are getting something theirs is not. May it be a private, extra touches during practice, an extra smile during practice, the opportunity to do Tops, Hopes, Elite etc so while your take on jealousy may be true in some cases, there’s too many instances where jealousy was truly the cases in many others.

When parents decide to label, alienate and not include your family because we are on a different path than their DD....what’s the reason behind it? Are my DDs’ any less apart of the team because they get extra conditioning training? We still attend the same meets.

My wife chose to kill them with kindness but after 3 years we are still hearing about how their DDs didn’t get to do Tops and Hopes and now my DDs are trying to qualify Hopes and eventually elite and now they are labeled as the Hopes elite girls.

What do you call this? Do you agree that Parents can act mean and spiteful when they feel/think another girl is getting something more or a different opportunity than their girl?

Why does it have to be jo vs elite or jo vs tops? We are all in this together and the girls are teammates.
 

LJL07

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This post was very thoughtful so thanks for posting.

But my wife and I have also been on the receiving side of things and it’s not so fun.

What happens when you relocate to a new gym bringing your DD’s who did Tops at their previous gym and you, your wife and DD’s come into the new gym and are not welcomed warmly or included because your DD’s are labeled as “tops girls”?????

The families know nothing about your family but automatically alienates your family because your girls did Tops.

I’m not saying it’s jealousy but what would you call that. We were nice to everyone, try not to talk gymnastics whenever we did watch yet some of the mom’s decided they automatically didn’t like our family nor our DD’s. What would you call that?

When people make quick judgments and labels and alienate girls because they did Tops without getting to know them...what other reason could it be?

My wife who is much more reserved than I am, would introduce herself to the moms and they would immediately say “oh you’re the mom to the tops girls” and she’d tell them her name, our girls’ names and smile as to say...please don’t identify them as “tops girls” and they would ask her a million questions then say how she (the coach) didn’t choose their DD for tops.

I say all this to say, sometimes those coaches are right about the jealousy. We would never tell our DDs this to avoid putting this in their brains and we don’t buy into this and run with it, we shrug and move on because it’s their loss. But youth sport brings out the ugly in parents and we all have witnessed it in gymnastics. Parents get all up in arms the moment they think your DDs’ are getting something theirs is not. May it be a private, extra touches during practice, an extra smile during practice, the opportunity to do Tops, Hopes, Elite etc so while your take on jealousy may be true in some cases, there’s too many instances where jealousy was truly the cases in many others.

When parents decide to label, alienate and not include your family because we are on a different path than their DD....what’s the reason behind it? Are my DDs’ any less apart of the team because they get extra conditioning training? We still attend the same meets.

My wife chose to kill them with kindness but after 3 years we are still hearing about how their DDs didn’t get to do Tops and Hopes and now my DDs are trying to qualify Hopes and eventually elite and now they are labeled as the Hopes elite girls.

What do you call this? Do you agree that Parents can act mean and spiteful when they feel/think another girl is getting something more or a different opportunity than their girl?

Why does it have to be jo vs elite or jo vs tops? We are all in this together and the girls are teammates.
I can’t tell from your post, but when you moved to the new gym did the new gym already have a tops or elite track program in place? If the gym already had this in place, I can’t understand why families wouldn’t have been welcoming to your kids. If your kids moved to the the gym and the new gym started a program just for your kids, and they are the only ones getting extra conditioning/training, I can definitely see where families who were already at the gym might have perceived this as special treatment.

I am not suggesting that you did this, but I do have a problem with parents running into gyms and manipulating to get extra privates, conditioning, training. We have very limited gym resources here though and no elite or true tops programs.
 

Solid444

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I can’t tell from your post, but when you moved to the new gym did the new gym already have a tops or elite track program in place? If the gym already had this in place, I can’t understand why families wouldn’t have been welcoming to your kids. If your kids moved to the the gym and the new gym started a program just for your kids, and they are the only ones getting extra conditioning/training, I can definitely see where families who were already at the gym might have perceived this as special treatment.

I am not suggesting that you did this, but I do have a problem with parents running into gyms and manipulating to get extra privates, conditioning, training. We have very limited gym resources here though and no elite or true tops programs.
Understandable

yes they had these programs already established but some of their DD’s tried Tops but didn’t make it, some did not do Tops. We would never demand a gym to play favorites. It creates too much drama. We relocated due to jobs and not to find a top gym. We just ended up at a good gym.

FYI my girls hate privates

so what would you call it?
can we agree that parents are competitive and get crazy when they think their kid isn’t getting something someone else’s kid is getting?
 

LJL07

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Understandable

yes they had these programs already established but some of their DD’s tried Tops but didn’t make it, some did not do Tops. We would never demand a gym to play favorites. It creates too much drama. We relocated due to jobs and not to find a top gym. We just ended up at a good gym.

FYI my girls hate privates

so what would you call it?
can we agree that parents are competitive and get crazy when they think their kid isn’t getting something someone else’s kid is getting?
Absolutely, and especially in an individual sport. This seems fair to me, and good for your gym. I don't think every child should "make" TOPS. I thought that was the whole purpose of TOPS. I respect gyms that tell parents no and don't cater to demands.

I liked the message in this post though because some of the parents are perpetuating the problem to be sure. Our state is pretty terrible in terms of gym options and seems to be getting worse, not better. My girls were at one of the very few "competitive" programs in the state for a few years. The owner/coach was literally letting anyone who would pay do "Tops" and her "prestigious day program." She's not looking for talent. She's looking for dollar signs, and the kids all go so many hours that they all do great. The parents are all competing for private lessons too at the compulsory level. This cutthroat behavior and all of the attention seeking on social media come across to me as obnoxious and alienating, so I thought that was more what this article was speaking to.
 

Solid444

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Absolutely, and especially in an individual sport. This seems fair to me, and good for your gym. I don't think every child should "make" TOPS. I thought that was the whole purpose of TOPS. I respect gyms that tell parents no and don't cater to demands.

I liked the message in this post though because some of the parents are perpetuating the problem to be sure. Our state is pretty terrible in terms of gym options and seems to be getting worse, not better. My girls were at one of the very few "competitive" programs in the state for a few years. The owner/coach was literally letting anyone who would pay do "Tops" and her "prestigious day program." She's not looking for talent. She's looking for dollar signs, and the kids all go so many hours that they all do great. The parents are all competing for private lessons too at the compulsory level. This cutthroat behavior and all of the attention seeking on social media come across to me as obnoxious and alienating, so I thought that was more what this article was speaking to.
That’s obnoxious and pay to play does nothing for anybody.

I agree a lot with the OP I just wish parents would be honest about the fact that they do get a little green-eyed. And the fact that they only seem bothered about what the next person’s girl is doing...because they are a tad bit jealous. My wife and I teach our girls to only worry about themselves and don’t concern themselves with what anyone else is doing. We don’t worry about other girls or what they are doing

good luck to your girls :)
 
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