Parents Advice please

[gymnomore]

Here's an experience my family had: We never seemed to make time to leave town to be with the grandparents. Gymnastics practice, gymnastics practice. We pay too much to be taking off, she might lose skills, competition season is coming up soon, she's on a roll, maybe next week, maybe next week. Every excuse possible came up to keep dd IN the gym and OFF vacation. Well, my dad died unexpectedly one day. We were not only overwhelmed with grief, but I especially felt incredibly guilty that I did not take the children away so they could spend more time with their grandparents. At that moment, I realized how NOT important gymnastics is, and how SO important family is. I would say especially at level 4; you'll have plenty of time for her to work on skills. Take time off and make some memories- out of the gym.

 

[mariposa]

My DD has to be dragged out of the gym as well, some of her friends are like that as well. Even more reason to make sure gymnastics doesn't become all she is, especially so young.

I frequently remind DD that gymnastics isn't everything and that she isn't JUST gymnastics. And going on vacation would be one of those times as well. My DD will be missing the last competition of the season because we have a yearly vacation weekend we go on as a family and that is more important than one competition, especially at this level/age.

Kids are pretty resourceful and actually need unstructured play time. Sometimes being over scheduled from a young age can even cause kids to have no idea what to do with themselves when not doing some activity. How sad that what should be normal for kids, playing, can actually become a stressor because they simply never learned how.

New AAP Report Addresses Play for Healthy Development
http://www.aap.org/pressroom/playFINAL.pdf

I also think that making gymnastics too much a priority is WHY many gymnasts will not quit even when they want to. When we as parents make it seem that gymnastics is ultra important from a young age, it becomes that for our children. They end up staying in a sport they don't love anymore because 1) it is part of who they think they ARE and 2) because they are trying to please their parents.

 

[Scout's Mom]

Very often a week off is good for gymnastics. We are currently on vacation with our daughter and her best friend--both level 9's. Here's the only gymnastics they are doing this week:

So, why am I on the computer?!?! I'm heading for the beach!

 

[Billy]

I still stand by my position that visiting a local gym once just to see how they do things would not "take over" an entire vacation. I also stand by letting the child have some say in what they do on vacation. If your DD wants to visit the gym, why not let her? A few hours one day does not define her vacation, nor her sense of self. Instead, it is feeding her natural curiosity about something she loves and building her world view that not everything, even something as familiar as gymnastics, is the same every where she goes.

 

[bogwoppit]

I don't think a level 4 gymnast taking a family holiday of one week is going to lose out by not training. We have months off at our gym, Dec 10 to Jan 10th no gym, all summer there are not team classes, so to us it is normal to take a break and girls do not lose their skills, they just don't progress as fast as girls who train year round.

That being said my girls have trained in other clubs when we have traveled, we always go for longer breaks, 2 or 3 weeks, they have had a blast and made friends that they have kept. Though they have never trained in clubs with the same system as ours, so they have been something unique, they have been able to show off their routines and work on skills that they have never needed at home. As long as it is about the fun, your coach is okay with it and your DD understands that it will not be like her home gym it can be a blast.

They have trained at the YMCA in Mission Valley Dan Diego, Kendal School Of Gymnastics in the UK and Corona gym in Ottawa. It was only once or twice at each place except Ottawa where they did a day camp whilst oldest son was in a camp too.

In the end as always whatever works for your family.

 

[Blackie6]

OK, I feel the need to ADD to my original post so you all don't think I am some crazed gym mom that won't allow her DD to go on vacation without the gym, LOL

Last year we did not know DD was going to compete so we planned to drive to Florida (12 days) to do Disney and then spend some time with relatives end of August. Then we found out in July that DD was going to compete starting in Sept and had started learning the rountines in July/August. On the advice from here (I did post the same question as the OP) I did not arrange for my DD to do gym and pretty much agree that at the lower levels it is no big deal & family vacations and time off is important! We often miss practice for parties, important events, ect...we are not that dedicated and I firmly believe in NOT being pushy & that in gymnastics it will be a slow & steady process. My DD just missed almost 2 weeks going camping with Grandparents. On the advice from this forum again, she did NOT go to gymnastics camp, we agreed as others suggested, she was too young yet.

However, the only reason I told the "other" side to the OP about last Summer was because we were not aware of the rules about missing practices before competitions and also would not have planned a LATE vacation if we knew she was going to have to compete in Sept. I am not lying when I say how upset she was not being included in those first meets with her team after working so hard to get there. She missed her in house meet too! But, I would not allow her to go out there unprepared either and was in full agreement with her coaches who said she wasn't quite ready to join team in first 2 meets because of all the missed time due to vacation. Did she have a great time w/family in Florida? Sure she did, but it was very hard to go to the first meet and then the 1st sectional w/team and only be with them to warm-up and not compete or be included during a time that was supposed to be special for her. She went to 2 meets trying to "catch up" alone or with one other girl trying to get to sectionals...no team there to cheer her on except her own cousin.

While we were in Florida we were close to a gym. We went there to watch a rec class a nephew was in. My DD was besides herself sitting in a gym watching. Any gymnast would have a hard time sitting there watching and not doing! I had made no arrangements for her to do anything, we were just watching nephew. But, and this was what I was trying to get accross to OP, had I known I was so close to the gym and was going to be there anyway, I might have checked into an open gym or something like that during the time we were there. No, I wouldn't advise someone to miss huge chunks of vacation to locate a gym for 10 hrs of practice a week, but if it is close-by and there is down time available it might be fun to visit another gym for an open gym class. We were not in Disney at that time, we were in Gainesville at a relatives home. I agree family time is important, my own DD will miss a couple more practices between now and Sept too, but I know NOW it shouldn't be a problem since she does know the routines and can compete them saftely. And, also, gyms do have rules about missing gym before meets so I just wanted to let the poster know she should check into that as well in case her vacation was close to competing. I would hate for someone else to have to go thru what I did last year with DD playing "catch-up" her very first year! To this day if you ask her what her very first meet was she would reply "The Ketchup Invitational" because all she heard anyone talk about at the gym was her trying to "catch-up" LOL

Hope this helps! I was just trying to tell another point of view & what we went thru last year. I am not advocating planning vacations and making arrangments for 10+ hours of practice time. I agree time off is always needed for the little ones & the parents!

 

[mariposa]

OK, I feel the need to ADD to my original post so you all don't think I am some crazed gym mom that won't allow her DD to go on vacation without the gym, LOL

Blackie,

I certainly don't think you are some crazed gym mom. It was an important story to bring up for those who have gymnasts that will be competing soon, to check with their gym on what to do.

 

[bogwoppit]

The fact that we are here nearly everyday does kind of imply that we are all gym crazed Mom's, but that's okay, it's why I love you all. Sadly I could walk past you in the mall and not even know who you are, but I know your DD's score from her last 12 meets!!!

 

[midwestgymmom]

The fact that we are here nearly everyday does kind of imply that we are all gym crazed Mom's, but that's okay, it's why I love you all. Sadly I could walk past you in the mall and not even know who you are, but I know your DD's score from her last 12 meets!!!

:ditto:

Here we are again, hanging around the Chalkbucket

Blackie nobody thinks you're any crazier than the rest of us and you brought up a good point about talking to the coach first and finding out what to do
I actually check this website first before I check my emails

 

[Blackie6]

Whew, after I ready all the replies I thought I gave the poster wrong info & that because I am not great at getting my whole complete thought out into words it was misunderstood. We "cut" practice all the time (and vacation w/out gym) because my DD is so young. I know she loves it and would be there all the time if she could. But I also know that I am the mom and I firmly believe at this age until she decides for herself completely I make her do other activities and YES, even vacation, LOL

As for CB and all you other moms...I don't always reply to every post, but I probably read all of them here in the Parent area & come here several times a day when I am off work. I have learned so much from here and BTDT parents. I value each answer because I know how much thought & experience went into answering questions. You all are honest & 100% supportive.

Thanks!

 

[jls1969]

You might ask her coach what the gym's policy is on this...our daughter's coach does not allow her to be trained by ANY other coaches. She and her teammates are not allowed to even go to a camp---they do their own camp. Best of luck with the decision and have a great vacation!

 

[midwestgymmom]

As for CB and all you other moms...I don't always reply to every post, but I probably read all of them here in the Parent area & come here several times a day when I am off work. I have learned so much from here and BTDT parents. I value each answer because I know how much thought & experience went into answering questions. You all are honest & 100% supportive.

Thanks!

:hug:

I read them all too, I just usually come across a post which was exactly what I was thinking that says it better than I ever could

 

[kristilyn73]

The fact that we are here nearly everyday does kind of imply that we are all gym crazed Mom's, but that's okay, it's why I love you all. Sadly I could walk past you in the mall and not even know who you are, but I know your DD's score from her last 12 meets!!!

Bog - You always say it well!

My nightly check at CB is a favorite part of my night! (Or day if I sneak in a check at work)

I can't wait to hear how all your little Gymmies are doing.. I am cheering for your Giant, Mill Circle, Kip and BHS Fairies! And you have been there throgh out Beetle and my frustrations.. Thank you for that.

Blackie: I do not think you are a crazed gym mom! I think you are a Mom who cares about her daughter!

Gymnasticsgirl 521 - Hang in there. Trust your gut, it wont steer you wrong.

 

[Ingymmom]

However, the only reason I told the "other" side to the OP about last Summer was because we were not aware of the rules about missing practices before competitions and also would not have planned a LATE vacation if we knew she was going to have to compete in Sept. I am not lying when I say how upset she was not being included in those first meets with her team after working so hard to get there. She missed her in house meet too! But, I would not allow her to go out there unprepared either and was in full agreement with her coaches who said she wasn't quite ready to join team in first 2 meets because of all the missed time due to vacation. Did she have a great time w/family in Florida? Sure she did, but it was very hard to go to the first meet and then the 1st sectional w/team and only be with them to warm-up and not compete or be included during a time that was supposed to be special for her. She went to 2 meets trying to "catch up" alone or with one other girl trying to get to sectionals...no team there to cheer her on except her own cousin.

Hope this helps! I was just trying to tell another point of view & what we went thru last year. I am not advocating planning vacations and making arrangments for 10+ hours of practice time. I agree time off is always needed for the little ones & the parents!

I remember this! We had gone through a bad gym experience, (my dd missed a lot of gym time as well) at the same time. I am so glad that you shared because it does tell the other side (geez, I wish that gyms would give better notice on when they plan on competing though - at the very least so we can make vacation plans without worrying about these issues). I thought it was a great other perspective, and would have never thought you wrong for telling a different experienced view

In the case of this OP I want to say that her dd is too young to compete this season??? although not sure, and if that is the case, missing now won't hurt in the least. Sometimes it just gives a fresh new fun outlook when she comes back to gym... I think over the last year my dd has missed more then 8 weeks of practice (not including days off here and there) . I am not saying I advocate missing practice, but I just think that at these lower levels it really is so much easier to make the decision for your dd. It becomes much more difficult (gym policy & gymmie persistence) to miss later on. I tend to not let dd make too many gym decisions - other then whether or not she still loves it and wants to participate - (ie I insist on missing practice for Halloween, vacations, etc, despite her protests LOL) because like Mariposamama said it is so important for them to realize that gymnastics does not define them.

Now, On another note, My kids always think it is fun to check out other gyms (all 3 love going to open gyms) & I think if I were on a vacay in another area where I had some free time, this would be a fun experience for the kids as well . I personally would avoid any structured practice & just make it for fun.