Parents ANy stories of encouragement for my kid who just tanked a meet?

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CuriousCate

Proud Parent
So my DD (7 1/2 yo, lvl 4) has been doing pretty well this season...scores from mid 35's to mid 36's first few meets. Then yesterday at her first "big" meet (ie best gyms in the state there, HC from her gym came, and her actual coach did not), she totally tanked and ended up with just over a 34! She went down between .4-.7 in EVERY event. She is now so discouraged and freaked out. No falls, nothing left out, I guess just didn't perform well? Can you all share stories of support I can share with her? I think she doesn't believe that you can have a bad day and then come back and crush it next time. She seems to feel that this is more representative of her actual skill set. Especially bc for many kids on her team, this was their best meet to date, and they earned their first 36+ for the season, so I think she expected to be up there. I just don't want her to carry this weight with her. I'm hoping that she can adopt the "on to the next" attitude and just move on. I think it would almost be better if she could pinpoint what made her scores so universally low compared to normal, but she couldn't. We asked the coaches, but they were pretty vague... telling a 7 year old that she needs to pay attention to the details doesn't help much... She needs them to detail the details for her!

TIA!
 
If it helps, OG 3 years ago had her worst meet of the season one meet and the next meet (bigger meet) she did great and placed top 4 on all events ... including 1st on her nemesis - the bars.
 
Ok, first I am pretty sure I know the meet you are talking about and scores were lower over all compared to other meets this season. I know that they had some good, but tough, judges there. This was dd's teams third meet of the season and was definitely the lowest scoring overall. The last meet there were many 9.7, 9.8 and even 9.9 scores being handed out! This meet, anything over 9.3/9.4 was really good. We also had several gymnasts score their lowest scores of the season so far with no falls or omissions. So I do think that tougher judging is the main reason for your dd's lower scores if she didn't have any noticeable falls or problems. Also certain judges definitely have their "thing" that they look for. I know last year we went to a meet where our girl's beam scores were just crazy low compared to previous meets and to other teams at that meet. It turned out that the judge was really strict on one aspect of the routine that other judges just weren't as focused on (I can't remember what it was anymore, but I think something with the foot arch maybe). Also, the pressure of having the head coach and not her coach there might have rattled her.

I think you should just keep pointing out all the positives and encourage her not to dwell on the one bad meet. It happens to almost everyone unfortunately. :( I hope that she is able to put it behind her and have a great next meet!
 
So, perspective: Just over a 34 is not tanking by any means. A really important life lesson is that we all have bad days. Also, scores vary meet to meet, that is out of our control. All she can control is her own performance. Then, what really matters is what we do with those bad days. Do they get us down on ourselves or fire us up to work harder. She will also take cues form you too. How you respond to the meet will effect her own response. Encourage her to learn from her mistakes, as we all make them, and just go into the gym and work hard.
 
Also,a s for the details. I am sure the caches correct those in practice all the time. It is not fair to ask them to critique her specific routines after a meet. If you want to someone to view her routines to give you some general scoring understanding that is fine. But I would not get feedback here and then pass it on to her. Let her coaches coach. And again, a 7 1/2 yo level 4 scoring in the 34s is good not bad.
 
I completely agree that a score in the 34’s is not tanking by any means. I’d focus first on changing your own mindset on this so that it doesn’t carry over to her.

Gymnastics is a LONG journey. It is hard when they are little for both them and you to realize that one meet really doesn’t mean anything in the long run. Everyone has good & bad days....and honestly if she didn’t fall at all, that isn’t a bad day! Our coaches call it going 4 for 4 — they had no falls on any of the 4 events.
 
We (parents and kids) are told that a 36 is the minimum score our kids need to be invited to train up the next level, gym policy. I think that is why all the girls aim for that and think anything less is just not good enough... I don't think it was the score as much as the huge change from her prior meets that bothered her. She felt like she missed the boat on something....like she didn't know what the judges wanted. It was so hard to watch her be upset. I will definitely work on my attitude....make sure she doesn't sense my concern (over making next level or over recovering at the next meet!).

Thanks for the support for her!
 
I’ve given up trying to figure out scoring. It can wildly vary from one area to another especially. My dd often had up to a two point difference last year competing in state vs out of state for routines that were very similar. If your dd didn’t fall or anything she most definitely didn’t tank the meet. I’m willing to bet that scores were lower all around and that’s something she will come to expect/be prepared for bc it really can vary. Encourage her to focus on just hitting her routines and not worry too much about the scoring. The more she stresses, the more it will affect her performance. My dd gets some meet anxiety and we’ve pretty much come to expect that at least once a season (usually early in the season) that things will go wrong and sometimes really wrong lol. We’ve tried to encourage her to forget about it, or even laugh about it and move it on.

As far as getting a certain score for the next level, don’t stress about that too much yet. Many girls get their season high score at state, and even if they don’t, there is a lot of benefit in repeating L4 for some gymmies as well. Your dd is on the younger side for L4 and sometimes it takes time to catch onto all of those details that make a difference on your scoring.

Best of luck to her and sending good vibes for the next meet!
 
First, a 34 is not tanking by any means. Tanked to me would be falling and/or not hitting connections/series on multiple events. You can have the best meet of your life and just get meh scores and you can put forth meh routines and end up on the podium. As others have said, some meets can score a little harder than others. You just never know. You should not be the one to pinpoint what can be improved in her routines...this is what you pay the coaches to do. Also, many kids improve drastically over the season where they may start with 34's but are rocking 37's by the end. Some start and end the season in pretty much the same place. There are just so many variables in the sport and you will drive yourself batty if you try to over analyze your DD or her teammates routines.
 
We (parents and kids) are told that a 36 is the minimum score our kids need to be invited to train up the next level, gym policy. I think that is why all the girls aim for that and think anything less is just not good enough... I don't think it was the score as much as the huge change from her prior meets that bothered her. She felt like she missed the boat on something....like she didn't know what the judges wanted. It was so hard to watch her be upset. I will definitely work on my attitude....make sure she doesn't sense my concern (over making next level or over recovering at the next meet!).

Thanks for the support for her!
I get that about a gym's move-up criterion. But really that comes with proficiency.

Teach her to not look at the scores during the meet. She has no control over the judges, just how she performs. She needs to focus on her skills and routines and not the scores. Also, how she scores on one event should not effect how she performs on the next event. Again, it's about going out there and doing her best. If afterwards she has questions about why her scores were what they were, encourage her to ask at practice what she can improve.
 
Well, with no falls or omissions I would not consider it "tanking". We still laugh about the meet my dd fell 6 times - when there are only 4 events! (Twice on bars, twice on beam and both vaults). Some days are just like that.

Seriously though - sounds like it was just tough scoring and maybe not her best meet. Frustrating yes. But I would just chalk it up to a fluke. Especially if her placements were similar to normal.
 
My youngest is 8yr and she is competing L4 this fall and hasn't scored above a 34AA; in fact she comes in last place or just about at every meet
I would never use the word "tank" in describing how a kid scored - the title of this thread has me annoyed.
It does me also, but I do understand why the OP is feeling this way, because her child (not said with malice or sarcasm) is at one of "those" gyms, where scores=success in terms of moving up. OP, I am not meaning this in a snarky way at all!!! But when your child is at a gym that has these standards in terms of moving up, a lot of unwanted pressure gets put both on the child and the parent. Yes, obviously, if a child is bombing with scores that are extremely low, then they need to repeat the level. But 34 just isn't that low. I do understand why your child is disappointed, seeing as she started out with higher scores. I would make it a learning experience for her....as the actual head coach was there, I would have her initiate asking him/her if possible why he/she thought her scores were so much lower this time around. I would have her ask in a general sense. "Any ideas of anything I could work on to get my scores back up there?" so to speak. To you, I ask: Were her steps off in the vault? Casts not as high? Leaps not as high? Tumbling more bent armed? Has she grown recently? Growing throws every damn thing off in this sport. My kid doesn't seem to EVER grow. :( But when she grows her mere 1/2 inch (which I thank God for!) it wreaks havoc on EVERYTHING. If she has grown, you can be real positive to her and tell her that this too shall pass, and her skills will be back up to snuff soon.

The other thing is that darn it, this is a subjective sport. We have been at meets where they obviously loved the little ones (and my kid rocked it there). We have been at meets where they loved the graceful, ballerina types (and my kid scored poorly there). Honestly, she did better at the meet where she scored proudly, and I was so much more proud of her....there was an event at the former meet where NONE of us, not even my husband who thinks his child walks on water, thought the high score she got was earned. Try and focus on something she did really well in one or more of the events, and remind her that the scores do not make the child. It is all a huge learning experience for your child. And yes, I know I sound like a broken record to those who have heard it before, but thank the stars my kid isn't at your kid's gym....or she would still be in level 4. NWIH would she ever score the 36 to get out of compulsories. She is one of the not as common success stories in optionals who sucked in compulsories, and thank God her coaches knew enough to get her out of them so she could play to her strengths.
 
I know it is tough for her but this sometimes just happens. Last season, dd scored 5 tenths lower on a bar routine that was significantly better than another later in the season. It happens, you move on. Of course, that is hard to explain to a 7 yr old. It is odd that she scored in the 36s in small meets and didn't here - when her teammates were able to achieve it at this meet but the coach is right: it is all in the details. Bent legs, less than tight limbs, arched back, extra steps, and more all add up. Tell her judging is very subjective and these judges may have just been harsher on her than her teammates for whatever reason. And vice versa at the previous meets. She has shown that she can achieve the higher scores. She has gotten at least on 36. I am sure the coaches will focus on what she needs to in practice. They typically have a really good idea of where the deductions came from.
 
We have any given Sunday talks. And a score is one of the smallest measures of how she is doing. If you videoed her routines let her watch. They actually can usually tell what they did and didn't do well. And then she knows what work on in gym. So that would be where I would lead her.

And this is a life lesson. She can not control how the judges will score. She can only control her routines and gymnastics, that is where her focus should be.
 
So meet to meet scores can vary quite a bit. My dd won bars last year (kinda funny since she isn’t a bar kid) at a pretty decent competitive meet with a 9.1. Then another meet she scores a 9.45 and that’s 7th place.
If anything I’ve learned over the years is you can’t always put stake in scores alone. Yes it’s hard to see a lower score but I’d say if it’s one meet and scores overall were lower she’s doing just fine.
 
My level 4 tanked some meets last year. BIG time. Her first two meets were in the 28-29 range for the all around.
She worked her tail off and at the third meet brought her AA up over 4 points. It was quite amazing and my husband and I couldn't stop smiling. She was back! But. While she ended up with the highest AA on her team, she was the only kid not to walk away with a single medal. She had been on such a high from finally doing better and then cried and cried and cried the whole way home. My husband is the (very) quiet type. As I tried to cheer her up and point out how well the meet had gone, he just drove. We got home, it was about 10pm and we sat down to finally eat, and he just looked at her and said "You know, I know you don't get this, but your mom and I? We're old. It really doesn't make any difference to us whether you walk away with a medal or not. I know it means a lot to you but when you're old you don't care about that stuff. All that you want to see when you're old is that your kid gets out there and gives it everything they have, and keeps working to get better every single day. That's what you've been doing, and you were amazing out there." I know it doesn't sound like much, but coming from a man of little words, I think it really meant a lot to her. So, what can you say? Just be honest with her. Let her know that what matters isn't a score from a meet but that she gets back into the gym the next day to continue working. I always tell my kids I'm not paying hundreds of dollars for them to do gym for the few minutes they perform at a meet- if that was the case it would be a lot of money per minute! Just give her a hug and let her vent for a few minutes, and send her back in to keep working. Honestly. The best thing that came out of my DD's tanking last year was that she learned that the world didn't end. She could be upset but she'd wake up the next morning and go to school and gym same as she ever did. It's gymnastics, not the end of the world, and I daresay watching them struggle is so hard but they learn SO much more than from winning. :)
 

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