Parents Anyone else not allowed to watch?

[LIGYMMOM]

My DD is 9 and just beginning her second year of competition, new L4. She has been at her current gym for a few years and after we decided we loved the gym, signed up, I sat down to watch and am informed...I am not allowed to stay and watch practice. Huh??? I have always watched. I love to watch her do her thing and progress, have even learned to bite my tongue when all I want to do is correct.

I understand the reasoning, we gym moms can be distracting, we can add pressure without meaning it, we can get a bit competitive and a little to "comparing". Now, I did watch her very first practice there and was very pleased with the training she got and the respect the kids are given. I don't believe there is anything going on that the gym owner would not want us to see, it's not that. I just feel like I've been somewhat taken out of the equation. I only get to see her perform at meets and never get to see what she can really do. This makes me sad. The other day I saw her run across the grass and do a R (5) perfect BHS's and I was like "when did you learn that?!"

What are your thoughts on watching vs. not allowed to watch? Anyone with me?

 

[Bajanswife]

We used to be able to watch and now we can't because of space and distraction issues. It's not really the team parents that are the issue, because few of us watch anyway - it was the rec parents. But it's hard to enforce a rec only ban if team parents are still coming in, so it had to be all. Having said that, in the first and last 30 min it's not really an issue, and I manage to come for the last hour sometimes and see her do some skills before conditioning/stretching starts, because I am on the committee and often have things to discuss at the gym. It was also a great opportunity to watch her when I had to sort the trophies at the gym before our meet. I like to see what she's up to from time to time.

I must say though, being kicked out the gym was great for my fitness - I started going running/walking near the gym to pass some of the time.

 

[MaryA]

This has been a hotly debated topic with many parents weighing in on the side of "I would never allow my child to train somewhere if I wasn't allowed to watch." However, my DD goes to a gym with a "no watching" policy and the only other gym in town is the same. I don't love the idea, but like you I understand the reasoning behind it. I'm not really worried that there is anything going on that I wouldn't approve of, but still, it would be nice to watch sometimes, especially since my daughter (12) tells me very little (practically nothing) about what she's working on or how it's going. I've come to rely on my friends who overhear bits of conversations during carpools, and, in turn, pass along whatever bits of gymnastics conversations I hear when I'm driving. I guess I'm just going to be very surprised come meet season...

 

[Fliptwisttumble]

Our gym viewing is closed for the summer. While you can watch during the regular year.... Full time watching is frowned upon. Before last year, we lived out of town so I watched a lot. As each year goes by I have watched less and less.

Wile I like watching, if I am honest with myself we both do better the less I watch. DD misses me seeing her hit milestones, but there's no doubt I am distracting for her. I've decided that I will watch a bit at the end of the day this year as I pick her up on our way home (training times allow for less watching anyways).

And it is nice to have her spend 5-10 minutes at the end of the day telling me about her training.... And hearing it from her perspective, which might have been skewed by my own had I been there.

 

[Deleted member 15064]

We are allowed to watch. I don't. Partly due to other commitments, partly because I want my daughter to own gymnastics & I don't want to get sucked in/ too involved.

I plan on coming early once a week this year to show my support. Plus I like to see all her teammates & socialise with parents a bit.

I can see pros and cons of both approaches - I appreciate having the choice.

 

[JoyAvenueMom]

My oldest child is an amazing vocalist. While I can't imagine sitting through voice lessons for hours on end...I would have been heartbroken if I had to wait for performances to hear her sing. My heart fills with joy when I listen...I am proud and amazed at her talent and love for music. I feel the same way about younger dd, the gymnast. I absolutely LOVE to watch her...not for hours on end...but certainly more than a handful of meets each year. I try to catch an hour or so of practice once per week. Dd is still fairly young and asks me to please come and watch. That's still her favorite part of meets, showing off her skills for grandparents! So, I feel for you. I agree too much viewing can cause all sorts of problems, I completely understand you frustration at not being allowed to watch at all.

 

[billise]

Our gym asks that the team parents don't stay and watch due to space issues. They don't want the team parents taking up viewing and parking spaces for hours at a time when they have rec parents that are trying to come and watch their kids for the 1 hour classes. This is what they ask but they don't seem super strict on this policy as most team parents don't stay anyway. I live literally 4 minutes from our gym so I tend to pop in from time to time, watch for a few minutes and then leave as I'm taking my other kids to their activities or running errands. DD is 6 years old and still likes to know I saw some of her practice so I like to watch until I can say "Hey, I saw you do XYZ". Makes her feel special

 

[GymMom67]

Our gym built a new "team gym" and it has no viewing area. Parents can still sit at the entrance and see most things, but most don't. But it is obvious to all of us that viewing is discouraged since they didn't leave a space for us to do so! I usually stay on the days I drive (we carpool), mostly because it's a bit of a drive, and driving back and forth is double the gas, but my DD will most likely move up a level in January and at that time I probably won't stay very often at all.....maybe just try to get there an hour early to pick her up every now and then, because her hours will be greatly increased at that point.

 

[2G1B]

At our first gym team parents were only supposed to stay to watch one day of the month (something like the last Monday of each month). It never worked out for me to only stay then though because my older DD was only on pre-team for a little while there. Her twin brother was on team for a season and they never mentioned a limit to how often the parents could watch. For him, I stayed and watched when I had his sisters in and out of rec classes, otherwise I dropped off. Same when DD started pre-team. I stayed when little sister had classes a few times per week (rec).

At our current gym, best case it is a 35 minute drive each way. For starting practice I have a kid starting every 30 minutes. So I kind of have to stay for the first hour of my youngest DD's practice (she starts first). Then when they get out I have a kid getting out every hour. I do have 2 hours when they are all 3 in there and I have been going to do stuff during that time; but once they are starting to come out I just sit there with them and get them to do homework and/or eat dinner. There is no way I can go home in that time (by then, due to traffic it is more like a 45 minute to 1+ hour drive each way) and it is a pain to try to run out and do 30 minute errands and then come back for a pick up, then another errand, then another pickup...

I think that our gym prefers that team parents do NOT stay; but when we decided to come I discussed with them that I really wouldn't have other options with their schedule as it is considering my drive. (we will NOT be moving over there as my husband's job is in the opposite direction.)

 

[LIGYMMOM]

Thanks for the replies. I would really appreciate a "once a month" viewing policy or even an parent exhibition every once in a while. Show us what we're paying for! I can understand why watching a whole practice would be frowned on, it would be a bit obsessive to sit there hour after hour. At the end of the day, it is their sport. We wouldn't go sit in their classrooms at school, can you imagine how their teachers would feel? I suppose the coaches may feel the same way. I will have to be content watching meets and what she does on the grass and throughout the house, across parking lots, etc (LOL!) (although that's not supposed to happen either).

 

[2G1B]

Oh, and I'll add that while I'm often in the gym during their practice (in the observation area), I'm usually talking to other parents, doing work, playing candy crush, reading or something else. I'm rarely actually watching.

 

[LIGYMMOM]

Sounds great 2G1B! I love the other gym moms and would love to spend more time with them (I'm also loving candy crush!) We have a beautiful viewing room for rec parents and I never get to enjoy it!

 

[Empowered]

My daughter has always been at gyms where we could watch if we wanted to. However when we moved across the country and chose the most highly recommended gym, we learned upon starting it has a no viewing policy. In fact one of the events trains in a completely separate room so even if you could watch, you would never see that event anyway.

The coaches have been nice enough to video tape a few bigger skills for me to see as she's gotten them, but by and large I have no idea what is going on anymore. The hardest part is that since I didn't do the sport, as she talks about the skills she is getting now, I have no idea what she's talking about half the time.

She gets in the car and tells me she did a thingamadoo with a whatchamacallit connected to a flippy swingamagig. Then she looks at me and goes, "you're not excited!!" and I am like no I am totally excited I am just pretty sure what you said wasn't in english.

Think of it this way, with no viewing meets will be like a big, giant surprise gift at the end of the training. You'll get to be shocked at her improvement and amazed at what she's accomplished all on her own... If I tell myself this enough I am sure I'll believe it... hehe

 

[skschlag]

Our gym doesn't care either way. We live about 20-30 minutes from the gym, ,so I do stay frequently. Usually I bring work, games, or a good book, or on days taht are nice, my walking shoes. I am still there for a lot of practice. The boys' coach will ask me to help with things sometimes, or the front desk.

However, a group of us moms finally realized that we were sitting around a smelly lobby drinking bad coffee and decided that it would be great to go to happy hour instead So 1-2 times a month we hit the local watering hole for refreshments

 

[cbifoja]

The official party line at our gym is team parents don't watch but that isn't enforced and since I'm always there, the coaches think something is wrong on the few days I don't stay!

Like many of you, I am there but not watching unless dd requests that I check out something she is doing. Sometimes I am working in the office as a staff member. Sometimes I am fulfilling booster club duties that accompany my office. And sometimes, I am dealing with a health issue that my child isn't old enough to deal with by herself all the time.

I'm also one of those who lives in a town different from the one in which dd's gym is located. I'm NOT paying fuel costs to drive back and forth ten times a week!

Most of the time though, I am grading papers and socializing with the awesome women who make up or team parent group.

 

[OwlGalLiz]

The younger team kids (like my son) parents tend to stick around (though we are socializing, texting, on the Internet - they have free wifi). Older team kids it varies. Theory behind it is that at meets they are going to have to compete with lots going on, so gymnasts need to learn to deal with it. Though they are told if they look at their parent too much, parent will have to leave. HC joked just the other day as about eight of us were there and all using phones/tablets and how different it is now a days. DS's longest practice is 2.25 hours, so it's really not that long. When he goes to 3+ (which won't be for a few years since due to age he will be competing level 4 for two years) things may change. They boy across the street goes 3 hours at a time (l 5/6, 8 years old) and his folks come sporadically as do many of the older team boys.

 

[Becauseisaid]

My daughter's gym has seating set up for parents; they just ask that you not interfere with the coaching going on. Many a time I have remarked that I would like a Nerf gun so I can tag my daughter when she's not paying attention.

Now that my daughter's practice is 3-1/2 hours per class, most of us parents don't hang around the entire time. But we do make sure to be there a good chunk of it just for our own socialization.

 

[Geoffrey Taucer]

We as coaches are in a position of power over the kids. It's a position that really allows us to help build the kids up in terms of their own confidence and self-image -- however, a bad coach can also tear these things down more easily and thoroughly and permanently than any school teacher could. Obviously there is the potential for physical/sexual abuse, but that's extremely rare. Psychological abuse and manipulation, however, are far less rare than they should be, and for this reason parents can and should be allowed to watch us like hawks.

In my opinion, parents should have the right to drop in and watch any or all of practice whenever they feel so inclined. I would encourage them to use this right very sparingly (as it can be a distraction and can put too much pressure on the kids), but I would never ever dream of denying them this right entirely.

Just my 2 cents as a coach.

 

[htimcj]

We can watch at DD gym and I think I would have a VERY hard time at a gym where it just wasn't allowed at all. I want the choice. I usually don't stay long anymore. I try to go an 1 hour or 1/2 before the end to see something and to chat.

 

[GymnastMomX2]

No watching for us. Even the rec classes only have viewing the first class every other month. They will let kids show their parents new skills and stuff at the end of class. They say it distracts the kids, I agree. They've been flexible though and let my sister and mom watch her when they were in town visiting