Anyone else think that COVID brought the end of gym for your gymnast?

FlippinLilysMom

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Yeah, that is happening here too, DD claims it was because she was the only one without TikTok, and nobody wants to invite her to meet up because they all want to get together and do TikTok and she isn't allowed to. DD is two years younger than most of the girls at her level, so this aspect has always been awkward and now even more so since she isn't in a lot of the older girls group texts/zooms/other and feels left out.
I feel this so much, my DD has always felt like the odd one out. She's never had that BFF in the gym like most of the other girls do, and she doesn't have many (if any) school friends because she was only in a school a few hours a day. She's really struggling right now but we are hopeful that her gym will be opening on June 1, so hopefully we can get back to a bit of normalcy soon.
 
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mommyof1

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Yeah, that is happening here too, DD claims it was because she was the only one without TikTok, and nobody wants to invite her to meet up because they all want to get together and do TikTok and she isn't allowed to. DD is two years younger than most of the girls at her level, so this aspect has always been awkward and now even more so since she isn't in a lot of the older girls group texts/zooms/other and feels left out.
We actually let our daughter create an Instagram account shortly after lockdown began because she was convinced that all of her school and gym friends were constantly interacting there without her. (Pre-pandemic, we had a strict family-wide ban on social media.) Turns out that the kids don't really use it that much and she wasn't being left out of anything. Now she is sad because there is rarely any new content to see, and it takes too long for her dog photos to get liked.
 

Flyaway

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We actually let our daughter create an Instagram account shortly after lockdown began because she was convinced that all of her school and gym friends were constantly interacting there without her. (Pre-pandemic, we had a strict family-wide ban on social media.) Turns out that the kids don't really use it that much and she wasn't being left out of anything. Now she is sad because there is rarely any new content to see, and it takes too long for her dog photos to get liked.
This cracks me up because it's so my dd. We also let her create an Instagram account (a whole year early by our family standards) due to quarantine. Interestingly, she uses it mostly to post pictures of the art she creates or her bullet journal. I thought she'd be more social on it.
 

ldw4mlo

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My daughter is very convinced she wants back in. And before this I wasn't sure she wanted to go on.

Now will that happen, here in NY. I simply don't know.
 

Cheryl

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It’s mentally tough for all of us, but especially teens. They have none of the constants in their lives they have had for years, no school, no practice, no human contact no matter how much time they spend gaming or IG or whatever.
Two boys in my son’s group have already said they aren’t returning. Conditioning at home is not appealing, it’s exercise, not fun. No skills, no sense of accomplishment, no positive reinforcement from their teammates.
It will be hard to return for most kids. They will have lost skills, there won’t be fun meets with awards even if there is competition. For kids on the cusp of going to middle or high school, they will be the most likely to leave. I don’t even know how they begin to return to normal competition standards because pretty much everyone will return down at least a level due to losing strength, skills, mental training and timing, pretty much no matter how much they do home workouts.
 
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bookworm

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If her motivation to condition at home and stay on any sort of a schedule and eat somewhat healthy is any sort of an indication then my answer would be yes, I worry. She has turned into a different kid, it breaks my heart. She has zero motivation, zero energy, zero desire to do anything by lay around and watch tv. Her mood can change on a dime, we never know what's going to set her off. She feels like no one likes her and is convinced that all of her friends are off hanging out together but not inviting her (which is not the case). The longer this goes on the more worried I get, but at this point I can't stress anymore wondering if or when her gym will open. If it does, great, it if doesn't, oh well. Not much I can do about it.
But wasn't your daughter training elite? So I wouldn't immediately jump to "she's turned into a different kid" but I'd consider a few things :

#1: she was probably tired from all that training, and in gymnastics, especially elite gymnastics (my oldest did it so I get it) , REST is a 4 letter word and for once in a looong time, she gets to actually "rest" without someone breathing down her neck to train more, do more , eat right ,and in the words of Bill Belichek, "no days off" . It's never happened before and she finally has some down time to herself. So while you see it as "laying around and watching TV", she sees it as rest. When my oldest would have ANY time off from JO or NCAA training, she'd say to me "I just want to sit and do nothing, because I can" ....

#2: it's tough to always be defined as something ("gymnast") that no longer exists in the short term at least ....she was the kid always at the gym , dismissed from school to go to the gym, only hung out with people at the gym, traveling for meets with the gym ...and that's all gone "poof" in a moment's notice (and USAG just cancelled the elite season) ....so she might be thinking, where do I fit in now that I don't have the gym ...and while some of the doomsday prophecies might be unwarranted, brass tacks, her world just imploded...so I'm sure she is mighty moody , especially the longer it goes on .

I saw a similar type transition when my youngest "retired" from gymnastics after 5 knee surgeries because as she said "I was defined as a gymnast"so she sat around for a while but eventually got involved with friends from school (because she was around now) and she basically evolved into the kid she always was. I'm not saying your daughter is leaving the sport, but to do it at a high level, abruptly stop, and have zero idea of when you can resume serious training (versus conditioning) gives one cause to reflect on what's next. I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't think she has zero motivation or desire but I think she has a lot more on her plate that she's probably worried about.
 

ldw4mlo

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If her motivation to condition at home and stay on any sort of a schedule and eat somewhat healthy is any sort of an indication then my answer would be yes, I worry. She has turned into a different kid, it breaks my heart. She has zero motivation, zero energy, zero desire to do anything by lay around and watch tv. Her mood can change on a dime, we never know what's going to set her off. She feels like no one likes her and is convinced that all of her friends are off hanging out together but not inviting her (which is not the case). The longer this goes on the more worried I get, but at this point I can't stress anymore wondering if or when her gym will open. If it does, great, it if doesn't, oh well. Not much I can do about it.
I don‘t recall how old yours is. Mine is 14. She has had “stuff” to do since she could walk. And she has managed and thrived.

This is unlike anything any of us have ever dealt with. Although for my self I would say going from career woman to SAHM came close.

Some days she is a conditioning rockstar beast. And somedays it’s Friends or The Office or Vampire Diaries..... some days she is chatty, helping me cook, working out with me..... some days it’s eye rolls and morose.

This will change them..... and they will find where there are supposed to be.

We all need to cut ourselves some slack. And we really need to take that to heart for the kids.

PS I do get mine out of the house and to the store with me every now and then. Her mental health requires it. So we put our masks on and venture out.
 

NutterButter

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@FlippinLilysMom - it sounds like your daughter has had a tough few months. Didn’t she decide to give up the elite path shortly after qualifying? (You have shared this on other social media.). And she’s going into high school! So much has changed in such a short amount of time for her, Covid aside. Hugs, love and encouragement. I’m sure she will find her groove again.
 

doublestrike

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If her motivation to condition at home and stay on any sort of a schedule and eat somewhat healthy is any sort of an indication then my answer would be yes, I worry. She has turned into a different kid, it breaks my heart. She has zero motivation, zero energy, zero desire to do anything by lay around and watch tv. Her mood can change on a dime, we never know what's going to set her off. She feels like no one likes her and is convinced that all of her friends are off hanging out together but not inviting her (which is not the case). The longer this goes on the more worried I get, but at this point I can't stress anymore wondering if or when her gym will open. If it does, great, it if doesn't, oh well. Not much I can do about it.
I have an inclination to respond to this in 2 ways: 1) she probably needs the break to do nothing and it sounds like she's at a more difficult age but then 2) I'm so done with club gym and just want to send her off so I spoke to my daughter's coach yesterday (she's a senior) and she's training hard to stay in condition for college but most of the other recruits are back in their gym, we have no re-open date, so there's a concern. He told me that once your kid is that advanced, it will only be 4-6 weeks to be back in shape, muscle memory, etc. It really didn't give me that much comfort but he knows more than I do.

If your state is open for outdoor activities, maybe sign her up for soccer, diving, other activities to keep her moving? I think she'll be fine, it sounds like she's way too good not to go back.
 
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Aussie_coach

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Some days she is a conditioning rockstar beast. And somedays it’s Friends or The Office or Vampire Diaries..... some days she is chatty, helping me cook, working out with me..... some days it’s eye rolls and morose.
I LOVE this! The perfect description of the 14 year old roller coaster life!!
 

FlippinLilysMom

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@FlippinLilysMom - it sounds like your daughter has had a tough few months. Didn’t she decide to give up the elite path shortly after qualifying? (You have shared this on other social media.). And she’s going into high school! So much has changed in such a short amount of time for her, Covid aside. Hugs, love and encouragement. I’m sure she will find her groove again.
Yes, she did. Still secretly hoping she will change her mind but I keep those thoughts to myself.
 

FlippinLilysMom

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I don‘t recall how old yours is. Mine is 14. She has had “stuff” to do since she could walk. And she has managed and thrived.

This is unlike anything any of us have ever dealt with. Although for my self I would say going from career woman to SAHM came close.

Some days she is a conditioning rockstar beast. And somedays it’s Friends or The Office or Vampire Diaries..... some days she is chatty, helping me cook, working out with me..... some days it’s eye rolls and morose.

This will change them..... and they will find where there are supposed to be.

We all need to cut ourselves some slack. And we really need to take that to heart for the kids.

PS I do get mine out of the house and to the store with me every now and then. Her mental health requires it. So we put our masks on and venture out.
Mine is also 14. Such a fun age....
 

xxStumpyxx

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Both of my teenage gymnasts (13 & 16) haven’t done any serious conditioning beyond doing forfeits during a throw and catch game they play. The most gymnastics related stuff they have done is doing hand stands and cartwheels and leaps on the beach, my youngest went through her floor cheography on the beach, she never got to compete her new floor routine due to an injury last Novemebr which niggled for months, hopefully this down time has given her time to heal.

The both want to go back to gymnastics when they gym opens.
 
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ldw4mlo

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I LOVE this! The perfect description of the 14 year old roller coaster life!!
Yep. I’m sure I was the same with my Mom. Never able to have the discussion with her. She died 43 yrs ago when I was 17.

But I owe her an apology the next time we meet.

And I remember I have more love then my daughter has eyerolls......
 

Tigtimes

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Mine is also 14. Such a fun age...
mine is 14 and it has been one interesting year. I will say things have settled a bit, she will be 15 end of summer but 6 months ago holy cow. I honestly think this pause in life has give her a chance to catch her breathe, a guilt free time to just stop for the first time in years. Yours has been in the fast lane maybe she just needs time to breathe and the teenage mind is just trying to adjust.

Hang in there she will come out the other side.
 
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cmg

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So my daughter is 16 and just this week got her driver's license!! We are both very happy. She has been doing pretty well with training at home, although the last two weeks (she even admitted to me this) not as much and she does not really like the zoom workouts. But her school will be completed in the next couple of days and she can start limited gymnastics at her gym in 2 weeks (June 1st 9 hours a week down from 18 hours). In the mean time she has a plan to do 1000 exercises (push ups, sit ups, etc.) and 30 minutes of other things like wall handstands, wall sits (1 min 30 sec intervals) I think in the next day and she wants me to add her to my gym membership at a local JCC. We also have a PT/gym membership that during her regular gymnastics schedule was only once a week (the day she didn't have gymnastics) to help with injuries and now she wants to do 3 times a week. Her gymnastics schedule over the summer I think is going to be in the morning at least the first month. Our gym's rec program will not start until July and only if everything stays on track with our State health statistics. So only time will tell. She seems very excited to be able to go to the gyms that we belong to without me. As she said "I am excited about becoming a semi-adult" (I am equally excited but of course worry about her driving and accidents). I am hopeful that this break will give her more motivation once she gets into the gym, but bars and backward fears have always plagued her. I am sure the first couple of weeks back in the gym will be a reality check. She tends to not want to know or deal with reality sometimes. Her goal was to be able to compete at least some L10 events. Last year she was a first year L9. Realistically she should probably do L9 again, but she will be a junior in HS and really wants to move up. But that is all dependent on her skill set. So we will see. In the meantime I am just hoping that we wont shut down again in the fall. I am trying to be optimistic, it is so easy to be pessimistic right now as many posters have written. Here's to finding and developing a vaccine, antibody cure or anything else that can help with this virus.
 
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Gigi

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I don‘t recall how old yours is. Mine is 14. She has had “stuff” to do since she could walk. And she has managed and thrived.
Same. Huge transition for kids who have always been busy. I hope this will not change them into slackers. School wise, APs are over now, so really nothing real important in the horizon to keep her motivated. A couple of the teachers have checked out completely and rarely even assign any work. Other are great, assigning fun project for leadership opportunities and keeping them engaged. A total mixed bag. My daughter is used to school to gym to homework till midnight every night, eating in the car in between. These days, sleep in till 10am (or later), makes her own breakfast, phone, work out, shopping on line, more work out, phone, shopping again, team zoom work out with team once a week, TV, phone, more phone, movie, a little bit of homework.
 

Flyaway

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I hated age 14. Both for me and for my kids. Just a sucky age.

But yes, everyone is right - we all need a little grace right now. I'm just going to let things play out.
 

ldw4mlo

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I hope this will not change them into slackers.
I think that there will be some changes. And I don’t think it’s all or nothing.

I see mine enjoying her slacking time at first. Less so now, if she had options she would take them.

Regarding gymnastics I think the first week or 2 she was loving the downtime and now she is truly missing it.

Her Saturday morning Chinese class. She was mostly a hostage. I doubt I’ll get her back.

I think this downtime allows them to figure out what is really important to them rather then just going on the auto pilot of choices made when they were little.

That’s not a bad thing
 
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