Parents Being denied preteam opportunity

[Gymmomtoava]

hello! I would appreciate any input. My daughter is 5 and a half. She entered gymnastics and was put into rec- at the time she wasn’t listening well and I don’t think was ready for their ‘hot shots’/‘secret’ preschool class. She has advanced quickly - about to move to level 4 rec in just 6 months. Her coach, who chooses the preteam girls, told me if she got her back walkover and pullover, she could go to hotshots. She now has her back hip circle, pullover, back walkover, nice pointed toes... but, she now is telling me she’ll ‘re-evaluate’ her in June when spots open.

I’m a bit annoyed, because the coach is her teacher- she sees that she has met all of the requirements, so why do I keep getting put off? And if she is waiting for spots, why would she need to be re-evaluated when she knows my daughter and knows she has all requirements?

Her other coaches recommended her for hot shots, but when her current coach/pre team selector eval’d her she said she needed her pullover and walkover, which she got in 5 weeks (plus her back hip circle, her regrips are gorgeous, her beam is great)...

My daughter is devastated. She wants to compete one day and she’s being stuck in rec. She does gym allll day- monkey bars, climbing up poles, tumbling all over the living room, flipping over playground bars, jumping and doing forward flips on my bed lol...

Full disclosure: the moms of the kids pulled for the special classes are short and have one or two kids. I’m thin but I’m 5’10. I have four young kids I bring with me to class. My daughter is short and ped expects her to be about 5’3. I’m wondering if it’s not my daughter but bias due to my height and my big family. Any advice? She has sooo much potential and is now focused and quiet during class. Sorry for the long post!

 

[Deedee]

With our programs we have certain times where we move our gymnasts up so that the squads don’t get too big. When ur dd was assessed she may not have had what the coaches require for the team. If she has then gone and achieved these skills she may still have to wait until their next assessment and when the coaches next move the squads up. Your dd is still young and has plenty of time for gymnastics. I would wait to see what happens during their next assessment.

In regards to height and size of family. Some gyms do take families body type and finances into account however at this age I wouldn’t think it would be a huge factor.

 

[kiwi2406]

She's 5. She will get her time. Its not that long now until June (crazy right?!), and since she is getting recommended by other coaches, theres a really good chance she will be placed then. For now, the drive and motivation she has is great! If the coaches see that she loves the sport, and is likely to show commitment and stick with it (again she's 5, showing commitment at that age is huge). Like @Deedee said, its pretty unlikely that she's not been placed because of her height, especially since she's only 5, and I'm assuming her coaches don't know her expected height? Keep her motivated and she's bound to get in when her time rolls around.

 

[momnipotent]

I agree that it’s not that long until June, so if you are otherwise happy with your gym I would wait it out and see what happens then. It could be that the coach didn’t think she would get those two things so quickly and so the June move up date seemed reasonable. If she is passed over again in June, I would probably have her evaluated at other gyms (if there are others with good team programs in your area) and see if another program would be willing to place her on their pre-team.

 

[duyetanh]

Move ups typically don’t happen throughout the year, but maybe your dd’s gym is different? Most gyms I know of test them out once a year. My kid was more than ready to go....but had to wait her turn. And waiting was good. She has always been a patient child, but being patient with others and decisions out of your control is a different kind of patience, and a good type to learn at a young age. I really do think she will be fine and will be put in the group come June. And it’s good you came to vent here because the last thing you want to do is harass these coaches and look like a crazy gym mom before she ever competes. Finally, if she sees you are patient with the situation, it will help her also...our kids take their cues from us. Good luck to her, it sounds like she is doing great-and she has a heck of a lot more skills than my kid did when she made team.

 

[bookworm]

If she's only 5, I would dial it back a bit or you won't last long in this sport.

It is a roller coaster ride from start to finish so try to enjoy the ride.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

hello! I would appreciate any input. My daughter is 5 and a half. She entered gymnastics and was put into rec- at the time she wasn’t listening well and I don’t think was ready for their ‘hot shots’/‘secret’ preschool class. She has advanced quickly - about to move to level 4 rec in just 6 months. Her coach, who chooses the preteam girls, told me if she got her back walkover and pullover, she could go to hotshots. She now has her back hip circle, pullover, back walkover, nice pointed toes... but, she now is telling me she’ll ‘re-evaluate’ her in June when spots open.

I’m a bit annoyed, because the coach is her teacher- she sees that she has met all of the requirements, so why do I keep getting put off? And if she is waiting for spots, why would she need to be re-evaluated when she knows my daughter and knows she has all requirements?

Her other coaches recommended her for hot shots, but when her current coach/pre team selector eval’d her she said she needed her pullover and walkover, which she got in 5 weeks (plus her back hip circle, her regrips are gorgeous, her beam is great)...

My daughter is devastated. She wants to compete one day and she’s being stuck in rec. She does gym allll day- monkey bars, climbing up poles, tumbling all over the living room, flipping over playground bars, jumping and doing forward flips on my bed lol...

Full disclosure: the moms of the kids pulled for the special classes are short and have one or two kids. I’m thin but I’m 5’10. I have four young kids I bring with me to class. My daughter is short and ped expects her to be about 5’3. I’m wondering if it’s not my daughter but bias due to my height and my big family. Any advice? She has sooo much potential and is now focused and quiet during class. Sorry for the long post!

Your daughter isn't devastated you are..... at 5 she only knows what you tell her.

 

[gymnastmom05]

My really good friend’s daughter was in a special, invite only class for her 5 yr old. MOST kids from this class go on to pre-team from here but her DD was not selected. When she asked the coach why she wasn’t selected when she had similar skills as the other girls, she was told her DD didn’t have the focus or the work ethic. Fast forward 6/7 yrs and the same is true. She’s a good athlete but she just doesn’t have the attention to detail and self drive this sport requires to be successful. I’m not saying this is your daughter but sometimes it’s more than just what skills they are capable of.

 

[SMH]

June is not too far from now. I’d hang tight and see what happens when the time comes. 5 and a half is still very young, she has time.

 

[Danaj226]

At our gym, move ups happen in June. Due to circumstances at another gym, we had a few girls join my daughter's preteam in February. It actually was a bit disruptive to have a batch of new girls join the existing team at that time, as preteam is quite the adjustment from rec in regards to conditioning and expectations. My advice is like the others above, wait until June

 

[Deleted member 18037]

What bookworm, coachp and smh said.

And stop the flipping on the bed and furniture. My niece was a bed flipper. Then she broke her arm.

 

[John]

I agree with everyone else, take a deep breath and exhale, then wait. For some perspective my DD didn't start her first rec class till she was 5.5. Starting when they start is part of the individual journey of gymnastics.

 

[profmom]

We held my son back from preteam for a year because although his skill level was good, we knew he'd benefit from the additional maturity and focus. He started competing at age 7 and he's currently getting ready for his first season at L10 . . .

 

[jessifrostR]

This sort of happened to my daughter when she was about 6. She was clearly too advanced to be in the rec class that she was in, and they mentioned she was ready for hotshots and explained to us this was pre-team. My daughter got SO excited but then she was never evaluated and every time I inquired about it, the coach that supposedly evaluated for this was never around and never called me back. Then they said, the same thing they are telling you. That they are waiting for a spot to open.
It was frustrating. I'm like "why did you tell us this and get her hopes up, and the brush us off?" and yes, these kids are smart and know whats going on. They become aware of the team girls.
So I took my daughter to another gym. The evaluated her. They told me she has potential but has things she needs to work on, and put her in their most advanced rec class, which is the class they pull their team from, and within a few months, she was invited to their level 1 team. She is now 8 and going to level 3. She starts training level 3 next month. So anyway, my advice would be, see what happens in June, and if they continue to play around like this, see what else is out there.

 

[mom2557]

It's a terrible feeling and we've experienced it. It honestly felt personal and it was a battle we didn't want to have and didn't think was necessary. The coach who made the decision had her favorites and picked based on that. I have more than one DD. One was a favorite, the other two were not. We eventually left and everyone was treated fairly, with respect at the new gym. We should have left long before we did. We fought that battle at the first gym for way to long. Not all people are fair or good and we have the freedom to take our business elsewhere.

 

[2G1B]

I completely understand where everyone else is coming from and the advice to just see how June goes, that she is only 5.

On the other hand... I know what happened with my kids. My son was asked to move to preteam then to team, he competed his first season. My DD was in rec and really wanted to move to team. Her rec coach kept saying that DD wasn't ready for team. Then one day the gym owner filled in for that class. After practice he asked to talk to me and asked if DD didn't want to do team (I assume he was curious since DS was on team and DD was ready; but not on team). I said that she did; but had been told she wasn't ready. She was moved to pre-team the next day and team a month later. Looking back, it is all fine. Both of them still are in gymnastics. I don't know that extra time on pre-team would have made a difference for my DD; but at the same time, if the owner hadn't filled in for that rec class I guess DD may have never been moved to team. Pushing that rec coach would have just made me look like a pushy mom. I guess that I could have gotten her evaluated at other gyms (we aren't at that first gym now, so did eventually move) and gotten her on team somewhere else. Personally, in your situation, I guess that you could maybe talk to whomever makes the team decisions and ask them to honestly tell you if they think that your DD will be moved to team in June. It wouldn't hurt to have her evaluated at other gyms. Honestly, IMO, any gym that would take issue with a rec kid trying other gyms is a gym that has a crazy level that I wouldn't want to deal with. And ultimately, your DD is only 5, you have time.

 

[GymMomA3R]

Ditto what everyone else said: DD started rec classes last April and while we were told they wanted to put her in preteam after the first class, they didn’t move her until June as that (and January) is when they do assessments/move ups. They also still had to officially assess her even though they told us about wanting moving her up already (the entire rec/preteam goes through assessments to determine move ups) - it was nothing personal, just their policy.

 

[Flyaway]

Yes it's true that maybe they are just playing games with you and will brush your dd off, but I think it's waaaay too early to tell. I agree with the advice that you need to hang in there until June and then see what that brings. Most importantly, watch yourself around your dd - your emotions and expectations and disappointments are what's going to feed her at this age. It should just be fun. Not work. Not a list of goals she needs to hit in order to get to the next level. Not pressure to do xyz. Just fun. If she's truly ready for team, she will show that at the evaluation. And watch yourself around the coaches as well. It's ok to ask questions, but if you become too "intense" about it too early, you may give them cause to reconsider asking your dd to join based on your behavior. Fair or not, I've definitely known coaches to decide to not take a kid on team because the parent is too much. Not saying you are at all, just be aware.

 

[sewgood]

It's June now... any update?

 

[gymbeam]

Doesn’t look like she’s been back since posting this.