Parents Birthday Party

[klv8]

This isn't specifically gymnastics related, so I hope it's OK to post...

My kindergartener claims she wants a birthday party with all her friends this year. She also voluntarily admits that it is hard to be with too many friends at once because someone always gets left out and she's torn in too many directions.....but she still wants this for some reason.

I'm curious what others have done for birthdays, and if you've been able to invite both gym friends and school friends without your child being torn in different directions the whole time. What are some activities that have worked well?

 

[ladybird]

I have personally found that for Kindergarten, 1st grade, it was still fine to mix the kids. Once my dd got older it had to be one group or the other. We would alternate school friends and gym friends for a few years. Now it's just gym friends and she's in 6th grade.

We have done swimming, ice skating, painting, and of course gym parties! All were successful.

 

[Gymnast C's mom]

We just had dd's 7th birthday party last weekend at the gym. She invited both school and gym friends and it worked out well. I agree at this age they still all just kind of run around and play together so it's fine. She didn't appear to be torn although she did mostly stay with her gym friends but she would never think of not inviting school friends. This may be the last year we do this big group thing though.

 

[gymnastmom05]

When DD was younger, we always did school/neighborhood friends. Mostly because she spent more time with those friends vs gym friends at that point. As she got older and was at the gym more, she switched and invited gym friends instead of school friends. Those are the people she considers "her people". She's now in middle school and her birthdays are a very small group of her closest friends (mostly because she always wants a sleepover and I can't handle the thought of more than 5 tweens in my house all night). She has had gym friends that have a party with both sets of friends but there is/was very little interaction between the two groups and the birthday girl spent her time going back and forth between the two. At that young of an age, I would personally invite people she considers her friends. Young kids are much more chatty and easy going. I think it just gets awkward if you invite an entire class and then only one gym friend. That gym friend knows no one and your DD might feel obligated to stay with her during the party....or she could not pay any attention and the one friend feels like an outsider.

 

[SMH]

We just went to an 8th birthday 'gymnastics' party- it was half gym friend and half neighborhood friends. It was totally fine, the kids all ran around and flipped together.

I personally usually try to talk my kids into something like a family weekend at Great Wolf Lodge for their celebration No party, no friends, but a weekend at a water park is usually very attractive to them!

 

[Amanda]

I've been thinking this through for this year. At this point, we're thinking about having her gym friends join us for ice cream right after practice near the gym and then having a relatively simple party with her other friends. We'll see if that works.

 

[kayjaybe]

We've done mixed parties even as old as my dd is now (15). I've found that over the years, her closest school friends and closest gym friends have actually gotten to know each other through these events. Plus, at this age, they all connect on social media, so they feel like they know each other more that way, too. She also has a good friend who is neither school nor gym (family friend) and she has also gotten to know both the school and gym girls.

It is actually pretty neat, IMO!

 

[wallinbl]

We don't do big parties. We generally have them pick 1-2 friends and we do something a little bigger with just a small number (amusement park for the day, rent a boat, etc).

 

[klv8]

I would love to have her just pick 2 friends to do a fun activity with, and may try to talk her into that. I'm also thinking gym party -- since it's really structured, the kids would all be together and she probably wouldn't be picking and choosing who to hang out with. I already see this happen in even small groups of friends. There are usually one or two kids that kind of control her attention, and even though she WANTS (and even tries) to break free and include the shy friend in the corner, it's hard for a kid this age to do. So I want her birthday to be free of that struggle if possible. Maybe a gym party is the answer! Then there is the question of siblings -- a lot of her friends have siblings close in age that she is also (sort of) friends with. And even though from the outside it looks like it'd be fine to leave them out, I am not sure the parents would think it is. Seriously, the more I think about this, the more I'm hoping she decides to just have cake with the grandparents. LOL.

 

[CLgym]

One small caution regarding a gym party -- DD's best gym friend invited both her teammates (including my DD) and school friends to a birthday party at the gym. It proved to be a little problematic when several of the school friends felt like the birthday girl and her gym friends were "showing off." Apparently it caused a little rift in school. However, these girls were mostly 8 yeas old, so at an age when this type of drama can begin. I would think this kind of behavior would be highly unlikely in kindergarteners, but frankly I was surprised to hear it happened at all!

 

[MuggleMom]

We did all the gym friends and she could pick 5 school friends. I do think the school friends were in a bit of shock with like 15 gymnasts running around, especially the boys since they were WAAAY outnumbered. We had several games and activities though so after a little awkwardness everyone just did the things they enjoyed and DD just got to talk to everyone, she went from thing to thing and it all worked out well. I think it depends on how big your team and class are cause we had like 20+ kids at our house and my head almost exploded. But while I felt it was fine to invite just some school friends I was hesitant to invite just some of the gym friends. Feelings there are more likely to get hurt and kids talk more at gym than school (about birthday parties etc). Some of the team girls were older--we still invited them but (as expected) they didn't come. Its a hard thing to navigate not sure what we will do next year. I wish DD had a summer birthday so I didn't have to worry about school friends lol/

 

[jenjean70]

This isn't specifically gymnastics related, so I hope it's OK to post...

My kindergartener claims she wants a birthday party with all her friends this year. She also voluntarily admits that it is hard to be with too many friends at once because someone always gets left out and she's torn in too many directions.....but she still wants this for some reason.

I'm curious what others have done for birthdays, and if you've been able to invite both gym friends and school friends without your child being torn in different directions the whole time. What are some activities that have worked well?

My youngest are twins and one is a gymnast and the other is not. The gymnast invites all of his gym friends and his twin invites all of their school friends. That being said- the school friends brought gifts for both boys while most of the gym friends brought gift for the gymnast only so we divide all of the gifts evenly so it's fair. This year they will be turning 12 so we are inviting the 13 gym friends and (I have convinced them to include girls this year ) about 16 school friends. We have a pool but I am also going to rent a water slide and my husband sets up a driveway movie. We are praying for no rain because it's going to be an all outside party with water balloons and ping pong in addition to the movie and swimming.

 

[duyetanh]

My youngest are twins and one is a gymnast and the other is not. The gymnast invites all of his gym friends and his twin invites all of their school friends. That being said- the school friends brought gifts for both boys while most of the gym friends brought gift for the gymnast only so we divide all of the gifts evenly so it's fair. This year they will be turning 12 so we are inviting the 13 gym friends and (I have convinced them to include girls this year ) about 16 school friends. We have a pool but I am also going to rent a water slide and my husband sets up a driveway movie. We are praying for no rain because it's going to be an all outside party with water balloons and ping pong in addition to the movie and swimming.

Dang! What a party! Can you host my kid's when she turns double digits?!?

 

[duyetanh]

We had this exact situation when my kid turned 8. We did the party at a swim center. My kid was the youngest on her team by a few years. It was rather mindblowing....we really didn't need to invite the school kids at all. Truly, she spent little time with them, and only when I gently (ok, so I quietly hissed like a goose into her ear, lol) prodded her did she spend any time with them at all. Thankfully, it was at a swim center, so the other kids were busy playing around (whew). Even my ever so clueless DH commented on the fact that we didn't even need to invite her school friends! But by then my kid had done team for 2 years already, and it was becoming (what it is now) her life, unbeknownst to myself and the DH. At kindergarten, I would think it would all be fine. Just have enough going on to where they can all get crazy on their own time.

ETA: if your child is already mature enough to voice that she feels pulled in both directions, perhaps you should ask her which group she would feel better with having, and then take dreaded goodie bags/goodies themselves to the other group. I know moms who do this-they plan a party with one group, and then bring in treats to the other group on the day of the birthday. Anyway, just a few ideas for you. Good luck!

 

[raenndrops]

We have been known to have 2 parties... A gym party (all team members are basically invited for what amounts to open gym... and any non-gym friends that like gym)... then a sleepover party that evening with school friends (including the non-gym friends that went to the gym party).
Of course, we don't do goody bags - the birthday child gets gifts, not those who come (their "gift" is free open gym / free food / free entertainment).

 

[klv8]

We had this exact situation when my kid turned 8. We did the party at a swim center. My kid was the youngest on her team by a few years. It was rather mindblowing....we really didn't need to invite the school kids at all. Truly, she spent little time with them, and only when I gently (ok, so I quietly hissed like a goose into her ear, lol) prodded her did she spend any time with them at all. Thankfully, it was at a swim center, so the other kids were busy playing around (whew). Even my ever so clueless DH commented on the fact that we didn't even need to invite her school friends! But by then my kid had done team for 2 years already, and it was becoming (what it is now) her life, unbeknownst to myself and the DH. At kindergarten, I would think it would all be fine. Just have enough going on to where they can all get crazy on their own time.

ETA: if your child is already mature enough to voice that she feels pulled in both directions, perhaps you should ask her which group she would feel better with having, and then take dreaded goodie bags/goodies themselves to the other group. I know moms who do this-they plan a party with one group, and then bring in treats to the other group on the day of the birthday. Anyway, just a few ideas for you. Good luck!

That's the part that baffles me.........she is mature enough to tell me that she struggles in large groups of friends, but that's still her idea of the best birthday party. I personally know she'd have more fun with just a couple friends, but I think it's one of those things she'll have to realize for herself at some point. But I do think having lots of planned activities will help direct the fun. My daughter has been to birthday parties where it was a lot of free play time and none of the kids knew each other........it was awkward and honestly not very fun for anyone except maybe the birthday kid. So I want to avoid that scenario if I can!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

My daughter has 3 sets of friends (4 if you count the neighborhood boys) and has since preschool. She knows if she wants them all she needs to be a good host.

I just make sure that there are enough kids from each group so as my daughter moves from group to group. No one is "alone". It's never been a problem,

Kudos to your daughter to know it's hard and want to deal with juggling it.