Parents Coach personality clash

[mamaplum]

We are still for the most part new to this. our 3rd year of gymnastics, 2nd gym, and 1st year of team. 1st gym was AWFUL but we went because my daughters best friends were in the class. My daughter loved gym but she would get very mad because the coach was lazy and didn't teach them any skills just had them do obsitical courses but never corrected or helped. Needless to say we left that gym. 2nd year she took another beginning rec class and had a level 4/5 team coach. This coach was gruff and demanding but my daughter adored her. This year she is on team and her new coach isn't quite as gruff but very demanding but very sweet and caring. My daughter HATES her. I told her sometimes we have to deal with people we don't like to get what we want its part of life. She accepted that. Now another month later she cries and says her coach hates her and she wants to move to the the other group (her level is split in half due to size). The coach on the other days is demanding and very loving warm. I have told her to stick it out but I don't want it to sour her view on gymnastics either. She (like so many others 7 year olds) lives and breathes gymnastics.

So should I mention it to someone? Should I try to get her in the other group although she has made great friends in this group (besides the fact that those days are much harder for us to get to). Or have her keep sticking it out. I think my biggest fear is this coach moving up with them next year after holding that carrot out that coach will not be her coach next year.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

If the coach is a reasonable person, not abusive in any way then I would tell my daughter to "suck it up buttercup" As you say dealing with people we don't always get on with first off is a very necessary life skill. My daughter clashes with her coach on a regular basis, and we get "coach hates me", generally when they have a clash of wills. I tell her tough, get on with it. She doesn't hate you, you just don't agree with her but as she is your coach, and you want to do gym, until you have your coaching certificate you should do as she asks !

 

[mamaplum]

That was my first idea.... I think she should suck it up. But still this this coach needs to give them a little slack (not be softer on them just an actual break). The other group gets a 5 min break in the middle to go sit, talk, play in the pit, or have a snack. Our coach doesn't do this And I think that's my daughters issue. We had to do some make ups with the other group now she is frustrated because she saw the other side lol.

 

[Seeker]

Why does your daughter hate her? There really isn't anything in your message that makes it clear what the issue is. Personality clash? Taking something personally? If it's a factor of learning how to receive corrections, then that is something all team gymnasts need to learn at a young age if they're going to stick with gymnastics. To do well in competitive gymnastics, the skills must be performed to an exacting standard. The coach is being kind when she provides feedback and corrections....no one wants to go to a competition and do poorly because their coach didn't teach them the proper way to execute a skill. That's why you left the first gym, right? She won't always love all her coaches or teachers, but that doesn't mean she can't learn from them.

Unless there is something more to her dislike (behaviors you deem inappropriate from the coach), I would not try to move her to the other group. The reality is she may be with this coach for longer than one season, so it's best to deal with it now. She doesn't need to be her favorite, but for the time being she is who she has to learn from. My guess is that it will become a more comfortable situation over time and she will get a lot out of the experience. Good luck!

 

[mamaplum]

I am not sure why she dislikes her so much. I ask but get vague 7 year old answers. She is even meaner than daddy (my husband is gruff, with a deep voice and has no idea how to talk to kids he isn't really mean lol) , she doesn't help us when she says we do something wrong she just tells us to do push ups in time out (my kid loves push ups) are the most directed answers i have gotten. She takes corrections fine from all the other coaches, its just this one coach. She is the main coach for the day and she has 2 coaches that assist her.

 

[mamaplum]

Dont get me wrong I think she should stick it out and deal with it. I guess i am frustrated by it. My daughter loves everyone, Loves to make people happy, is a social butterfly who loves to hug. Its just new for me i guess that she has Hate for someone. This is the only person she has ever used that word for.... and so unlike her personality. Especially when her previous coach was meaner and more gruff.

 

[munchkin3]

Gymnastics isn't for everyone.....well, correction, TEAM isn't for everyone. It is very tough and usually the tougher the coach, the more demanding they are. It took my DD a little time to realize that when the coaches are being mean and hard and demanding, its because they expect her to DO what they ask!
We have a new 7 yo training L4, and I suspect she came from a very 'happy fun' gym....(she was the most advanced girl there) After a week, she was crying and moping and whining. She is not quite used to gymnastics being HARD and DEMANDING and her not being the superstar.....but she will get used to it and be better for it.

just a suggestion, coaches are different and have different styles. Find the good things in each coach and point them out to your DD. Some coaches are better for hugs, some are better for push ups. Either way, they are getting the best of each one. She must get used to this now in order to be successful. She will certainly have tough coaches she does not like much down the road, and barring some serious problem with the coach, maybe just an attitude update is what your DD needs. I would not switch her group because you are delaying the inevitable, she has to learn to adapt to this coach. YOu may even find that she may end up LOVING this coach! I've seen it happen!!!

 

[NH~GymMom]

The transition to team can be tough. Unlike in rec, the coaches HAVE to focus on all the little nuances of technique and form. If a rec kid does a cartwheel with bent knees, it's ok as long as it's safe. For a teammie, it's a big no-no.

My DD has a tough time with this and feels her coach 'picks on her,' but in reality her coach is just giving her the same corrections that she gives everyone else. Watch a practice or two if you can, talk to the coach and get a sense for what's really going on. But it sounds like your DD is just dealing with a common issue that happens with the transition to team. Once she gets used to taking correction and understands that it's not picking its fixing she should start feeling better about the coach.