Parents Communication about scratching

[A's Mom]

Gym drama alert! Our gym competed at compulsory sectionals last weekend (my daughter is L3). Two of the girls on her team were scratched from floor, presumably because they don't have a reliably safe BHS. Fine; good call. The problem is that one of them found out she was being scratched in the middle of the meet and was never even warmed up, and the second girl was warmed up then told she was being scratched, and no one (gymnasts or their parents) were told this was a possibility beforehand. In fact, the girl they never even warmed up had been doing BHS privates and was told two days before that she was looking good and had a chance to go to state. This is the first meet where they didn't allow kids without BHS to compete floor, so that came as a surprise to everyone. They were also the only two kids scratched from any event at the meet, to squeeze lemon juice on the paper cut. There is now all sorts of drama that easily could have been solved with some simple communication ahead of time.

So my question to you, oh wise and more experienced CB parents, is how to ask for a policy of giving parents and gymnasts a heads up about potential scratches? Or, really, any potential let down, so we can help our kids reframe the experience? Our gym owner is unapproachable, though she says she wants to talk and that we should come to her with questions. This is just the latest in a string of poor communication moments. It was the straw that broke the camel's back for one family; they've already left. Any advice and/or anecdotes are appreciated.

 

[skschlag]

My son has never been scratched but teammates have. Unless it is injury related, parents usually find out after. Coaches might communicate ahead of time, but usually with the gymnast. But parents may or may not know ahead of time.....

 

[3cats]

It happens all the time. If it's an ongoing skill issue that they've seen in practice there is a 50/50 shot of the coaches telling the kids or parents that scratching may be a possibility. If it is a poor warm up that makes the coaches feel that the routine may be unsafe, no one will be notified of an impending scratch. It's no big deal though. The girls will get more time in practice with the pressure off to get the skill. Play the long game, this wont matter 4 weeks from now, let alone 4 years.

 

[A's Mom]

Thank you! I think they made the right call to scratch in the name of safety. What's worrying parents is that one kid was told she'd compete floor, no question, looks good, then was never even warmed up. We're also L3 newbies, right? So we need some guidance from the gym on their scratch policy, how and when they make those decisions. And they've been reluctant to talk to us about much of anything.

 

[3cats]

I will say communication issues are the pits. We definitely have them at our gym and when parents feel out of touch with what is going on inside the gym it breeds hostility and distrust. Gym owners would be keen to know this and create an atmosphere where parents are more informed about the big picture our their daughters gymnastics.
So I get you, once you have a bad taste over something that has happened you feel like everything may be rotten.
Potential scratches, however, are not my hill to die on.

 

[Cheryl]

My kid has never been scratched, so I don’t know the protocol with regard to parents, but the boys know in advance. My son has said things like “X might have to scratch rings because he doesn’t have a muscle up”. On the day of the meet during warm up, if kid is iffy coach makes the final call at meet time. With some skills they can do them some days and not on others. I’ve also seen the coach take an element out, or sub to a lessor skill if the kids not consistent in practice that week or can’t do it doing warm up.

 

[Flyaway]

I'm sorry that happened. I have seen girls scratched at the last minute because their warm up is not safe, but it is definitely best practice to have the conversation BEFORE the meet if possible- especially for level 3 where most girls are very young and this is their first time and don't realize that scratching is just something that happens sometimes. They don't have the perspective to deal with it well in the moment. And given that this was sectionals and their ONLY shot at State, it feels especially cruel to wait until the last moment. If their other events were strong, they would have had a shot at getting a qualifying score for state even with a spot on the BHS.

Also, this should not have been a surprise to the coaches since it's at the end of the season and they still don't have a BHS. This conversation should have happened before.

 

[Flyaway]

Thank you! I think they made the right call to scratch in the name of safety. What's worrying parents is that one kid was told she'd compete floor, no question, looks good, then was never even warmed up. We're also L3 newbies, right? So we need some guidance from the gym on their scratch policy, how and when they make those decisions. And they've been reluctant to talk to us about much of anything.

My guess is there is no "official" policy.

 

[Tigtimes]

You are looking for a policy in an area where there is a lot of gray - many moving parts at many different times and often decicded minutes before an event. I would say if a kid is having issues on a skill at practice often times they will be told ahead of time. In our experience it is a game time decision, usually occurs after warm up on an event. you have to trust your coaches that that they know best for each kid, they see things differently than you will.

 

[Flippin'A]

Hang on-- the issue of scratching and communication aside, your gym implemented a brand new rule for sectionals that said the kids who didn't have a back handspring had to scratch the whole event? They did this knowing they had two kids who qualified to sectionals and were iffy on back handsprings? So instead of allowing those kids to just omit the skill and score as best they can without it as they presumably had been for the entire season, they decided to make it an issue. I'm all for gyms having their own rules about what constitutes being competition ready and whatnot, and scratching kids whose warmups look dangerous is obviously the right call, but if a gym changed the rules part way through the season I would have a big issue with that.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

At times it is a last minute decision. Coaches are not going to come off the floor to notify parents.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

My guess is there is no "official" policy.

And they are unlikely to get one. Beyond it can happen.

 

[my4buffaloes]

Honestly the times my girls have been scratched in the middle of the meet I was very glad. Both times things looked unsafe. Once my dd was coming back from injury. Adrenaline was way too much for her to vault safely. The other time, my dd kept balking on her full on floor. She had never had a problem before, but that day it wasn't working. Not safe to try to compete it. BUT both times the coaches came to me after the meet and explained. Communication is key!

 

[TumbleTimes4]

Our gym’s policy is that if you can’t compete all required skills safely at least a month before season starts, then you don’t compete that level at all, so this would not be an issue for us. If you don’t have your BHS before season starts, then you don’t compete level 3. Same for all skills and all levels. I think it saves a lot of drama like this at meets. I also appreciate this policy as a parent. I pay a lot of money in meet fees that would not be refunded if she were scratched mid meet, and barring an injury, DD isn’t in jeopardy of being scratched.

While I would not expect a coach to leave the floor, I think I would expect a conversation after the meet with an explanation. I also don’t think that it’s unreasonable for parents and gymnasts, especially at L3 and probably the first year of competing, to expect communication from coaches that a scratch is possible before the meet, especially if the coach knows that the BHS has been an issue and that scratching is a real possibility.

I know that communication at gyms is notoriously bad and that not everything can be not always should be commicated in advance, but gyms can and should do better. Our gym has a scratch policy listed in the contract that we sign every year, along with other potential situations and expectations. Communication at times has not always been great, but we’ve always been able to meet with owner/coaches to address certain situations or concerns. To my knowledge, there’s been little drama at our gym due to the written policies. Clear expectations and written policy prevent problems.

 

[John]

My daughter's squad has had girls scratch during meets. There is no warning. As they warm up is a athlete is balking or attempting but is doing so in an unsafe manor the coach and athlete speak and it obvious from the stands what the outcome will be.

My daughter has never scratched but I can share a example of communication that happen just Wednesday night.

Practice is almost over the owner/head coach opens the door and calls me on the floor. He says he will not be coaching Dani at regionals this year. The boys coach has a issue and he is the only one qualified to coach the boys at regionals, I agree he is the only one. Dani will have another coach at regionals, A coach she gets along with well. I appreciate him communicating something of this magnitude to me, allows me to prepare her mentally. But for the record daily communications are between him and the athletes parents are not included unless the communication is on a larger scale issue. Take away is find a gym that gives you what you need and if that is not possible ask for a meeting and attempt to understand the gyms philosophy.

 

[A's Mom]

Hang on-- the issue of scratching and communication aside, your gym implemented a brand new rule for sectionals that said the kids who didn't have a back handspring had to scratch the whole event? They did this knowing they had two kids who qualified to sectionals and were iffy on back handsprings? So instead of allowing those kids to just omit the skill and score as best they can without it as they presumably had been for the entire season, they decided to make it an issue. I'm all for gyms having their own rules about what constitutes being competition ready and whatnot, and scratching kids whose warmups look dangerous is obviously the right call, but if a gym changed the rules part way through the season I would have a big issue with that.

Thank you! This is what I'm trying to get at. I trust them to make the call. I don't need special hand-holding. I just want to know what the baseline expectation is.

 

[Star078]

sometimes there are other elements at play too. The head judge may have decided to remind everyone that kids shouldn't be competing unsafe skills and it has filtered through to the coaches so they have decided to scratch a child. Im a judge and we have a meeting at the start of each competition. An example might be the head judge saying at the last few competitions there has been some unsafe back handsprings so today can we make sure we are pulling up coaches that are allowing kids to compete them. There may have been other skills too that the coach was concerned about.

 

[mls529]

Honestly, I am much more surprised that multiple gymnasts don't have a core skill at the end of the season, than the fact they were scratched. But to answer the question, our gym would tell a parent in advance if an event was at risk of being scratched. This happened to my DD in her first level 4 meet when she was having some problems with vault. I received an email explaining why they will likely be scratching (along with what that meant and why). And I appreciated that communication, and understood from then forward that they coaches have the gymnast's safety and best interest in mind in those situations. I also saw day-of scratches with teammates over the past few years, but as others have said, coaches are not going to find you in the stands, they will communicate with the gymnast directly. A quick discussion afterwards seems warranted, but I can't imagine that is going to be turned into some sort of official policy.

If this is part of a broader communication issue with the gym, it is likely worth taking action. But if everything else is pretty good, I wouldn't recommend making this a big issue.

 

[2G1B]

My son has only scratched an event once that I can think of. It was his first year competing. His coach got my attention during the meet and I came over and spoke to him. He told me that my son had "lost" his half turn on high bar so would scratch rather than stressing about it. I like that the coach let me know. My son "found" his half turn a week or two later, it had swapped directions. I think that it has since stayed in that new direction. LOL . For my girls... my youngest scratched bars at her first one or two meets. The coach told me before those meets even happened that she would be scratching. I don't think that my other DD has ever scratched anything.

I do think that if there is a safety issue that comes up during warmups that a gymnast should be scratched. If a coach doesn't plan to even let a kid warm up then they should let the parents know before the meet.

 

[TumbleTimes4]

Recently, DD had a teammate that was having issues with a skill during warmups and the coach was concerned for her safety. She found the parent immediately and the parent was involved in the decision to scratch her. Apparently the girl had a rare fall performing this skill in practice the previous week and some fear has crept in and the skill hadn’t been consistent in practice. The parent knew before the meet the scratch was a possibility and while it’s not always possible to discuss during the meet, I have no doubts this coach would have talked with the parent immediately after the meet.

I’m glad that our coaches value communication with parents. I also think that our gym is smart to require that all team members must be able to consistently perform all skills safely before they allow them to compete. I think it prevents problems like the OP is facing and makes scratching rare.

To be clear, I do not expect our coaches to leave the floor and find a parent to explain a scratch and I know that you can’t have a written policy for everything. But when you can cover the majority of potential problems with a written policies and have good communication with parents, not only does it prevent problems, but I believe parents would be less concerned and be more trusting of the gym when they encounter a situation that isn’t covered in a policy or written guidelines.