Parents Commuting to gymnastics

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roses25

Proud Parent
I have some questions for other parents of gymnasts who have been there and done that....

We live in a very rural area, and I take my 6 year old son to gymnastics twice a week. This is the closest gym to us with a boys gymnastics program. It's 100 miles each way but the commute takes about 1 hour and 15 minutes each way due to the increased speed limit (it's mostly interstate driving with a higher speed limit due to rural area). There is no traffic either.

He has just been asked to join pre-team. Our gym currently competes in level 5 and above, and the coach usually waits until the boys are 7-8 to allow them to mature a bit more. They may be opening up a level 4 team. Currently pre-team will consist of having a special class for my son and other pre-team boys. It will remain a one hour class twice a week, but be targeting skills they need and not open to recreational gymnasts. Eventually they will increase the practice time to two or three hours, switch to 3 days a week, and then eventually 5 days a week for 3 hours each day plus Saturday open gym.

I think I can handle driving for three days of practice because I'm currently doing 2 days without a problem. Going from 1 hour practices to 3 hour practices wouldn't be a problem either because my kids usually fall asleep on the way home. It would put us home around 10 PM vs 8 PM. I'm pretty sure I'd get burned out doing five evenings a week plus Saturdays. I'm a single mom and work full-time as a teacher. Occasionally, I have meetings after school (once a month or so but some months are busier than others and there might be 2-3) would make getting to every practice difficult if we are talking 5 days a week. Currently, I try to schedule meetings for non gymnastic days, but I can't have them all on those days. I haven't had any luck in finding someone to carpool with.

Because I'm a teacher I would have to have a new job lined up and turn down my current job contract by June if we are going to move to the city where gymnastics is. I can't change mid-year or there are penalties. I also just bought a house a year ago. Sometimes the weather gets in the way of getting to practice if it's snowy or icy out.

How long do kids usually stay with 2-3 day classes before moving to 5 + days of practice?

Should I ask the team coach more about what his plans are for my son's group?

Do you think I should start looking for another job in the city of gymnastics or ride this out by continuing to drive for awhile?

I have a 3 year old daughter also. How can I do my best to make it a good experience for her? Currently, she comes with us and we watch her older brother in the waiting area. I feel a bit sad that she can't be home playing with her toys. Although she is home all day playing with her toys while the babysitter is here. So what can we do during practice to spend time having fun together. When it gets warmer, we can go on walks and to the park, but currently there's not much to do.

We usually pack dinner to eat on the way home from gymnastics and my 6 year old does his homework on the way to gymnastics (currently it's to read a book & if he has trouble with a word he spells the word to me).

Thank You,
Carolyn
 
I've been in this sport for over 17 years, with an 80 mile commute each way for the last 5 years so I will be blunt and just tell you that at 6 years old, with the situation as you describe ( single parent, other child, decent job where you are, just bought a house)...find him another closer, doable hobby.... because that's what it is now. I don't know how you got started on a 100 mile commute each way for a rec class or pre-team but there's got to be something else closer to you that he can do...I wouldn't have considered a commute like I've had if my girls weren't level 10 so I can't imagine doing it for a rec class....and don't worry, he's 6, he can learn to love something else that's closer....
 
I would never consider that kind of arrangement. I hate to discourage any boys from doing gymnastics, but that would not work for our family. One of the reasons I don't stay to watch any practices is that I don't think it's fair to my other kids. They want to come home and go outside to play with their friends, not be cooped up in a gym lobby. Add to that being a single parent and working full time, and it sounds like an absolute nightmare. And getting home at 10:00? Nope. He's 6. If that were our only option, I would steer him into a different sport.
 
I would have him wait until you can possibly relocate. Enroll him in other sports or keep him preteam another year and see if you can relocate. Especially since he's young and a boy. He has time still. It would be very unfair to your 3 year old and getting home at 10 pm 3 nights a week is just not healthy at their age.
 
Btw, I have no problems moving if that's what I need to do. We have no family here. We moved here for the job once I graduated from college. Moving would put us an hour closer to family also. I'm kind of bummed about selling a house I just built, but I could also consider renting it out as people always want to rent in my town. I want my son to stay in gymnastics. So I would not to choose to take him out and pick a sport closer to home.

He just started gymnastics in September and is already doing round off back handsprings and back pullovers and back hip circles on the high bar by hisself. He's built well for gymnastics. He did parent and tot classes and one year of preschool classes, but we took a few years off after a year of preschool classes.
 
Btw, I have no problems moving if that's what I need to do. We have no family here. We moved here for the job once I graduated from college. Moving would put us an hour closer to family also. I'm kind of bummed about selling a house I just built, but I could also consider renting it out as people always want to rent in my town. I want my son to stay in gymnastics. So I would not to choose to take him out and pick a sport closer to home.

He just started gymnastics in September and is already doing round off back handsprings and back pullovers and back hip circles on the high bar by hisself. He's built well for gymnastics. He did parent and tot classes and one year of preschool classes, but we took a few years off after a year of preschool classes.

In your situation I think all things considered (with gymnastics just being an issue emblematic of the entire thing) I would start considering plans to move closer and ride out this year with a two day a week class like you're already doing. I live in a fairly rural area (although not as remote as it seems like your area might be?) and in your situation (single mother working full time, far from family) I would definitely not live here.

I would never suggest moving for gymnastics, but I think this is a different situation all things considered. Of course the job market will dictate things. But I would let him continue for now since you can do the preteam commitment and it sounds like there is a strong chance things might change. So he might as well join the preteam.
 
My "commute" is 25 mins no traffic, an hour in traffic (not common but happens).

I have a dh, a mil who helps out occasionally, and i work from home. Mine are older now too.

It is hard. Very hard. I often wonder what in earth we're doing putting all this time, effort and money into a child's sport. I barely see dh, we don't get holidays, weekends away (except for travel meets), competitions are stressful for parents. Somedays i pick them up from school and look at everyone else going home for a nice dinner, maybe a trip to the park, brownies, an early night, and almost pack it all in. In my spare time I'm doing competition entries, grant applications, sorting kit, it really is endless.

If you want him to stay in gymnastics as you say, you need to move. That's your choice, but i dont think an hour's commute, with a 3 year old in tow, isn't workable long term.
 
Btw, I have no problems moving if that's what I need to do. We have no family here. We moved here for the job once I graduated from college. Moving would put us an hour closer to family also. I'm kind of bummed about selling a house I just built, but I could also consider renting it out as people always want to rent in my town. I want my son to stay in gymnastics. So I would not to choose to take him out and pick a sport closer to home.

He just started gymnastics in September and is already doing round off back handsprings and back pullovers and back hip circles on the high bar by hisself. He's built well for gymnastics. He did parent and tot classes and one year of preschool classes, but we took a few years off after a year of preschool classes.

I think you should start looking around now at jobs and areas to live. It would be beneficial to be moved before your little one starts proper school (not sure how old that is there but here it is 5), it will help to be nearer your family. Renting your house out sounds a great idea. You have time to find a really great job, area and school.

I wouldn't rush as you are managing just fine at the moment. He will likely have another year at least of 2 or 3 sessions a week. Definitely worth talking to the coach and explaining why you are asking. I think you have some good ideas about making the 1-1 time while at gym special with your dd. When he moves to a 3 hour practice you will have time to do more, and this time could be spent in the different areas you might consider living exploring what is on offer - parks , pools, libraries, museums, shopping etc etc. You can also get a feel for the traffic in different areas and pick one that offers a smooth commute to gym and home to see family. And good luck.
 
also if you are closer you can drop and run.

Since we have moved gyms I have gone from trying to find stuff to do for 2 1/2 hours to dropping and coming home, so much better. Plus if you live locally its much easier to find a carpool.
 
The other thing is your 3 year old.

Do you want her to do a sport or activity when she's old enough? How will you manage if she can't or doesn't train at the same facility? Will she have to spend her childhood being dragged around after her brother?

Even if she does train at the same facility, meets are another matter. We have got to the point where dh often has to take one to their meet in one city, while i take the other to compete in another city.
 
Hmmm-we're doing the very long commute -think we even top you @bookworm ☺ but started when DD was 10 & starting elite track-even then we just trialed the drive.

Gymnastics seriously draws you in & in -
I would definitely ( IMHO) find another activity for your little one- at 6 he's just a baby- theres so many great activities available that don't involve such huge family investment ( time, energy, sacrifice before you get to the financial side of it.)

We drive because we don't want the pressure on both DD & DS to either continue or succeed which we believe shifting would place on them.

But good luck with your decision ☺☺☺
 
If you really want him to stay in the sport, you need to move. 100 miles is insanely far. Right now we live 15 mins from the gym, and when we close on our new house next month, we'll be 5 mins away, I'm excited about the 10 minutes cut off my "commute". I couldn't imagine driving 100 miles each way each time.

You also have to think about what happens when he advances, and team practice starts 20 minutes after you're off work, it could literally become impossible for this to even happen for him.


So in my opinion, your only options are to keep him in gym and move to the town where the gym is, or stay where you are, take him out of gym, and get him interested in a new sport.



Good luck
 
I have heard some crazy things in my time in gymnastics, but your story takes the cake.

I'm sure your son enjoys gymnastics, but a 200 mile round trip drive just isn't practical long term. Or fair, to the younger sibling.

Or fair to your son. What happens if/when his interests change and you have been doing this drive for years for him? How is he going to be able to quit after the sacrifices you and his sister have made for him to do the sport of gymnastics? That's way too much pressure for a kid.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but there it is.

If you feel your son must do gymnastics, you need to move.

Then never mention the reason why.
 
I think you have a good plan of trying to find a job closer to the city and moving. Rent your current house out, etc. My dh is a teacher so I get only being able to look for a job once a year. I would look this year. If you can't find anything you can likely continue what you are doing now for another year and look again. Your ds will likely not increase to 5 days a week for a few more years.

You have to be ok with him quitting at any point though. Also, can you look into your dd taking a gymnastics class at the same time as your ds? Or is there a dance place nearby? 3 hours is a LONG time to sit every practice. I think your situation is doable short term - will kill you long term.
 
I think you have a good plan of trying to find a job closer to the city and moving. Rent your current house out, etc. My dh is a teacher so I get only being able to look for a job once a year. I would look this year. If you can't find anything you can likely continue what you are doing now for another year and look again. Your ds will likely not increase to 5 days a week for a few more years.

You have to be ok with him quitting at any point though. Also, can you look into your dd taking a gymnastics class at the same time as your ds? Or is there a dance place nearby? 3 hours is a LONG time to sit every practice. I think your situation is doable short term - will kill you long term.

My daughter does dance during the hour one day a week (same time as my son). Dance is right next door to gymnastics so it's handy. She tried preschool gymnastics but she wasn't quite ready because she struggled to rotate stations. 16 preschoolers and 3 teachers in a very small space was tough for her. So I took her out based on the recommendation of the teacher. I'll try again this spring or summer.
 
Only you can decided what your family can absorb in terms of a commute. Because you are rural, I assume that you are used to a bit more of a commute the those of us who live in the 'burbs or cities. But, right now you are looking at 20,000 miles a year on your car just for gym practices with that going up 10,000 miles a year for every extra day of practice. Is that sustainable and financially feasible for you to replace your car much more often for what is essentially a recreational activity for your child.

When my DD started in gym, I told her that she may as well get the olympics out of her head now because we weren't moving for her to train and she wasn't living away from us. I was joking, mostly. But, for us it was good to know at least some of our family's limits in terms of willingness to go all in. DD has some talent, but was a 7 year old preteamer and is now a 10 year old Level 4 (olympics have never been a realistic expectation). We would not pick up our family and move for the sake of a children's after school activity. Nor would we do a 2.5+ hour regular commute. DD loves gymnastics and I am sure your son does as well. If you are willing to move, then you have your answer. I know that it would not work for my family.
 
Hi! I have two boys on a team and a 3 year old daughter.

It sounds like you are already taking your son to gym twice a week for one hour at a time and are fine with that. To me, it makes perfect sense to let him do a preteam situation with a similar days per week arrangement and just see how that goes. The late nights would be a problem for my kids, and going forward that may be hard for your son as far as being able to focus at school. On the other hand, that commute makes for plenty of homework time.

I have seen lots of boys come and go at our gym. I have seen really good gymnasts leave because the sport no longer interested them, and other kids who are not and probably never will be high scorers who keep plugging away year after year because they just love the sport. Overall, way, way more boys start competition gym as level 4 or 5 than keep going beyond that. Also injuries and various life circumstances will send a kid out of the gym and then back again- sometimes multiple times. My point is, trying to determine at this point how many times a week you might have to bring your son to the gym in a year or two is probably impossible to predict. Also, your son is young enough that there is no essential reason he "should" be moving up to a competition schedule or to a level 5 practice schedule anytime soon, even if he has the potential to do so. There is no shame in "repeating" levels, it is common. Maybe he could go less frequently a progress more slowly.

As far as moving closer to the gym and changing jobs for the only purpose of being closer to gym? I think you need another reason. You have no idea if gymnastics will remain a part of his life or for how long.

At our gym, the boys are allowed to compete in other sports and to do other activities and many do so, even some of the older boys. So missing a practice, even once a week, is simply not a big deal. I know this is very different than the girls team, and may be different at other gyms for boys. So, would missing a day be an issue for you, your son or your coach? This is not something that needs to be figured out now, because again, there is no way of knowing how long your son will remain interested in gymnastics.

My major caution is, long term, be aware that this is a very expensive sport. Also, find out if how much volunteering is expected (Many gyms have a fundraising expectations on each team family, and various ways of raising funds) and whether or not there are things you could do from home.

For your three year old, here are suggestions:
Keep doing the dance class and your plan to try the gym class again is a good one. Rotating stations is the hardest thing, from what I have observed many kids simply do not remember what to do next. Many kids do not get that until they are closer to 4. That is way too big a class for this age, I would agree!
If you feel safe leaving son at the gym, take her to a park or museum or some other activity.
Is there any space to play? Bring her toys and coloring books and books to read to the gym. Playdoh or clay keeps my daughter happy.
Ask the coach to put you in touch with other moms at the gym who live close and might be happy to welcome you and 3 year old into their home during practice.
 
I live in a rural community as well . We have a gymnastics gym about 25 minutes away with no boys program , but they had a tumbling class that is mostly boys. There is a gym that's about an hour & a half away that has a actually boys program . He is going to the tumbling class which is close.


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Ok, so.

When my DD was just ending preteam, it was evident that we needed to switch gyms. DD was just not doing well as a whole (school included). We ended up with a 45-65 min commute to new gym. I convinced myself that it was fine, as I used to commute an hour downtown for work and really, I like driving.

(Spoil alert: these days? Not such a fan of driving)

She practiced 3 days per week. It lasted about a year and a half before it all imploded. It was hard on all of us, in many ways. We usually ended up staying for most of practice as it was senseless to drive home in between. DD suffered. DS (3yrs younger) suffered. DH and I (and our marriage) suffered.

This sport takes enough out of you without adding in a long commute for a single mom. Infrequent meals together, scheduling headaches (what happens when your younger child wants to try something in a different town?'What about your p/t conferences during meet week?), occasional financial stress (meet fees, warmups, travel costs), meet stress, misc gym drama...

I can't really say how my DD progressed as she moved gyms a bit, so it's not really linear. My DS started on team a year ago. He went from 2 days/wk preteam to 3 days/wk team in 6 months. I anticipate he'll likely add a day this summer, one year after joining team.

I'd suggest waiting for team until you're able to move closer. That way, if a move falls through, he doesn't have to give up gym. It won't hurt him to wait a year for team.

Also, note that expenses increase year to year along with the time commitment. And depending on your geographic location, you may have to travel quite a ways for competitions (requiring more hotels). Also, I don't know what your teaching contract allows, but keep in mind that many meets offer Friday sessions requiring Thursday night travel, and late Sunday meets requiring an overnight stay into Monday. And you can't forget to block out dates for camps, etc.

I am not trying to discourage you. I truly hope it works out. Just letting you know our experience.
 

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