Parents Conference advice and how to find beast mode

[A's Mom]

I have two questions, wise parents!

Now that competition season has been over for a couple months and my newly 9-year-old daughter has been working on JO4 skills since then, we're having a parent-coach conference tonight. Any advice on questions to be sure to ask? I want to get her perspective on strengths, challenges, goals, and how we can support. I feel fine asking her anything, but I also want to capture this moment because communication is not a strong point of this gym and my kid is not a big talker. She had a strong L3 season, though vault is a struggle. She is never the first to get a skill, and right now she's concerned that she's plateaued on vault and having trouble with BHS. Beam is a strength and kips are coming. She really wants to train L4 this summer (training levels will be decided at the end of June), and I feel confident that by the end of the summer she'll be a strong L4. But I'm also preparing for her coach to be thinking about another year of L3, for the sake of vault and confidence. We trust whatever her assessment is, but also want to advocate for our kid's goals and hopes. If you were me, what would you want to be sure you ask?

Next: like your kids, mine LOVES this sport. It makes her so happy that it also sometimes makes her floppy. Does that make sense? Like, this is the kid fully smiling as she runs toward the vault. I'm having a hard time figuring out how to help her find her "beast mode," where she is still joyful, but can pull that extra adrenaline/focus/drive from within to give herself a boost of power. I see this coming naturally to other gymnasts. If it didn't come naturally to yours, how did you help your kid find it?

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I would spend the conference listening to their plan and if you are in clear on why they are making whatever decisions they are making ask why.

Smiling is good and time, she needs time.

The best thing you can do is let the coach, coach. And when you drop her off say. Have fun, work hard, love you....

 

[profmom]

Vault can take a while for some. My DD figured it out late and my son is still not really there -- hasn't yet gotten really comfortable with an optional vault that he wants to develop. With enough time in, most of them get there. Sometimes they simply will not learn to run aggressively until they begin to work on flipping vaults in earnest. Fear of ugly crashes can be a much better motivator than anything a parent or coach can say.

 

[A's Mom]

Thanks "Have fun and make yourself proud" is my MO. And I periodically need the reminder that this is just compulsories and sometimes progression is illogical. I think what I'm trying to do is anticipate potential disappointment (to my daughter) so I can help her reframe it. The coach had to reschedule, in any case.

 

[A's Mom]

Update! Conference happened. It was quick and fun. In case anyone else has a check-in coming up, the most illuminating conversation we had was around the coach's short term and long term goals for my kid. They were simple, appropriate, and exciting, and helped me clarify how I can best support them both.