Parents Confidence question

[Flip4funmom]

As some of you know we recently had a forced gym switch. Things are going about as well as can be expected moving so close to meet season but we're having the biggest struggle with my son's confidence. He was never allowed to try skills without a spot at his old gym and the trend is continuing. The coaches all agree he has the skills well enough to not need a spot, but HE is convinced he needs a spot. The usual comments to boost his confidence are not working. I know the coaches will figure it out but I was curious if anyone had any tricks to help?

 

[sce]

I would hope the coaches would just take him back a step or two and work slowly to build his confidence. He is little, there is no rush.

 

[Jenn's Jam]

I would hope the coaches would just take him back a step or two and work slowly to build his confidence. He is little, there is no rush.

Although this is true, I believe the rush is that its so close to meet season and he needs the skills? I'm not sure if im correct so don't quote me on it!

 

[sce]

Although this is true, I believe the rush is that its so close to meet season and he needs the skills? I'm not sure if im correct so don't quote me on it!

Can he go a lower level?

 

[skschlag]

Close to season or not, he is 5. He needs to be stepped back and allowed to be successful. A 5 year old should not have this much anxiety about gymnastics. he should be allowed to have fun, and progress at his pace, no matter what that pace is. So, stepping back to doing easier skills that he can do well independently will build his confidence, which will allow him to love doing the sport and continue to make progress.

If he keeps going down this road, at 5, he is likely to develop more blocks and more anxiety, no matter how talented he is.

 

[momnipotent]

My advice-trust the coaches. He wants to compete this year, but doesn't need to compete this year. Stressing and pushing skills near or during competition season has only ever caused serious issues for my oldest son, resulting in long term blocks and frustration.
Tell him his old gym was unusual in that they would even let a five year old compete and most kids (boys especially) in T and T don't start competing until they are much older (and he would be too young to even compete at all this year in men's gymnastics).
Tell him it doesn't matter what level he competes or what skills he can do-he just needs to have fun, try his best and believe in himself. If they have him compete level 1 or 2 because he wants to compete so badly but those are the levels where he can be successful without a spot, be truly and genuinely happy for him and encourage him to go do his best at that level - don't push him to get to 3 or 4. There is no mobility score until you get to level 5, so backing off and letting him compete low levels as a confidence builder has no consequence-he could jump to level 4 or 5 next season if he is ready-he doesn't have to score out of any of the levels in between.
Finally, and most importantly, tell him every day that he did a great job in practice today, that you believe in him, and you love watching him do trampoline. If and only if he mentions needing the spot, tell him that you are not worried, his coaches are not worried, he is getting better every day and you know he will get it when he's ready. Then change the subject.
From past posts on here it seems like he is a very intuitive little boy. I believe that if you can truly and genuinely not care about what level he is or what skills he is doing and just care that he is having fun doing something that he loves, he will sense that and back off of his own expectations for himself a bit, which will in turn remove some of the stress and anxiety he is feeling about doing these skills. That, in turn will allow him to feel more confident about trying them on his own.

 

[Flip4funmom]

Thank you so much for all of the replies! I was able to speak with 2 of his coaches tonight. He is competing with them this season and actually has a small home meet next weekend. He will be competing;
Level 1 or 2 trampoline
Level 2 tumbling
Level 4 double mini

We don't have to compete but they think it will be a great confidence booster even though with the exception of DM he is below where he was training at his previous gym. We talked on the way home tonight and his next meet will be the first week in March and he has already given himself the goal of level 3 or 4 trampoline, level 3 tumbling (but coaches think he might be able to do 4 since all he needs is confidence on his bhs)

This switch has been difficult but he is taking it all in stride. I'm struggling a bit with guilt of him missing so much and now he has to go backwards. I love that they are trying to feed his confidence as that was a HUGE thing missing from the old gym. I also think it's wonderful that he has goals for himself.

 

[sce]

Look at it this way, he has not gone backwards instead he is where he should have been all along. The other gym was pushing too hard too fast abs recess not ready.

 

[trampolinemom]

Definitely not going backwards, but giving him a strong foundation along with confidence. As a mother of an 11 year old elite boy I would say hang out at the lower levels (I don't know your level system but say all levels without doubles) and foundation skills as long as possible and also keep his hours on the low side whenever possible. It gets harder quickly enough with a talented kid. What I see with my kid and also others that progressed really quick is that they seem to encounter major blocks, fears and anxiety way more often later on the road than the ones the went more slow in the beginning but catch up later.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

He needs to have the pressure taken off.

JMO at 5 he should not be competing at all.

But if he does there should be no expectations attached except to have fun. Zero expectations. Have fun sweetie. That’s it.

A 5 year old shouldn’t have rise to the occasion. A 5 yr old should be met where he is at. And If he needs a spot he should be spotted.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

And stop trying to coach/fix him and his coaches.

As a parent you should be saying.

Have fun, love you, bye.

 

[Taxidriver]

I personally wouldn’t see it as an issue him wanting a spot. At my dd gym they are always spottted on new skills, not because they don’t have they ability to do the skill but to help make sure they are doing it correctly and on higher level skills to minimise the risks. My dd coaches are very hands on coaches and that is how they coach even with international level gymnasts.
The first time my dd competed a squat on she had only done it a handful of times without a spot, not because she needed a spot but to minimise the risk from falling and they still practice squat on with spots yet she’s been competing it for several years now. The girls from our gym have far more solid squat on than others that we compete against who don’t get spotted like our girls do so being spotted hasn’t held them back.
Remember he is only 5, if he needs a spot let him have a spot and not worry. Building his confidence will happen over time.
For me my only concern for a 5 year old would be are they having fun.