Parents Crazy gym mom or not?

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Cartwheelmom

Proud Parent
If you and other moms felt that your DD's group is pretty much the "reject" group, the group that gets cast to the side. Would you express your concerns to the HC or just let it go in fear of becoming that crazy gym mom?
 
I can imagine that many parents feel like their kid's group is not getting all the opportunities as other ones. Group A gets the better coaches, Group B gets more hours, Group C is getting fast tracked, etc.

I've come to learn that all is not fair in gymnastics.
 
It would depend on the circumstances ? In our gym the girls are placed in groups as in the level they are training towards .
 
No. You have to be able to trust that the coaches are doing what your dd needs. And if you're saying its a whole group? I'm assuming you & other moms have been discussing it?? Be super careful with that. While sometimes it's nice to not feel alone in your assessment of a situation, there's always someone repeating what you're saying and negativity tends to spread negativity, don't get sucked in. If truly you feel your dd has been overlooked or isn't getting what she needs, I say sure, have a meeting with coach or owner. Don't mention what Suzy's mom or whoever said, keep references strictly about your dd. It really is easy to get in a group of moms who will help you fall over the cliff into CGM territory.
 
Ok, I know you are struggling with this, so I promise I am not poking fun, but I did chuckle when I read your post, because that is what cgms are...on the couch...lol...

I think you would need to assess why you feel this way. Is it all the moms in the group? How many are in the group? Is it in one event or across the board? I am sorry. It is an icky feeling to be sure if your child truly is being slighted. May I play devil's advocate and suggest maybe the group just isn't ready for the other skills, and your child's time will come?

Good luck to you. I think if I was in this situation, and it bothered me enough, I might talk to the coach privately...I think it would give me more of a chance of being heard than if a pack of mom's ganged up, so to speak...and if you approach it from a neutral perspective not accusatory, well, then, you will get better feedback. Good luck!!
 
Sometimes it is true though --- not all athletes and coaches are a good fit for each other. Is this something that you have noticed quietly or is this something that your daughter is struggling with also? Probably nothing that you can do about it immediately as meet season is on the horizon (or already begun for some), but I would just encourage your daughter as much as you can, stay positive with her and help her have a fun season. But also observe (quietly, no gossiping) what transpires over the next few months. Hopefully, it's a blip on the radar and it passes. But it might not. Lots of people eventually transfer gyms due to things just not being a good fit -- for YOU. It could be the best place in the world for one person and the worst for another.

Even great gyms have ebbs and flows of how things are going. This can be due to a variety of things...personalities that don't mix well, coaching changes, stress of meet season, a group that just isn't gelling, etc etc etc. These things generally have a way of smoothing themselves out over time. If they don't and it continues to be an issue for her (she's unhappy, isn't progressing, not mixing well with teammates, etc), then you'll know it's time to think about a change. But give it some time to play out and see what happens.
 
I think it's funny how many people in this space worry about being a CGM. I'm pretty sure the people like that don't worry!

Here's ten signs that you're a crazy gym mum, that help me to be the best gym mum I can be:
  1. Your focus is only on your own gymnast - you don't really give a stuff about the others in their team, or the club in general
  2. You have lots of meetings with the coach, gym admin owners etc, rather than building your gymnast up to talk to their coach about what their goals are or what they are happy/unhappy about
  3. You watch all the training sessions and feel you have to give feedback to your gymnast on top of what the coaches are providing
  4. You focus on what your gymnast is working on right now, what level they are competing this year and what scores they are getting compared to others, rather than seeing the here and now as part of a longer term plan
  5. You forget that somewhere at the bottom of this sport are a bunch of kids who should see it as fun - at training and at comps
  6. You don't keep your mouth shut or offer kind condolences when someone else's gymnast has a really bad competition
  7. You focus on whether your gymnast comes first or wins a medal, rather than if they and their coach were happy with how they hit their routines
  8. You feel compelled to tell others what they should do with their gymnast based on your own decisions and circumstances, rather than empowering them to see their options and feel they can make up their own mind
  9. You get caught up in owning the gym dream yourself, rather than keeping it firmly in your gymnast's grasp
  10. You wear one of those puffer jackets without sleeves, skinny jeans and long boots that makes you look like you've just walked in from pony club, along with perfect hair and make up!
As for the OP - I'm with everyone else. Watch it play out for a bit longer, unless you feel that the circumstances could result in someone being hurt. I've always found 3 months to be a very long time in gymnastics, and often new things that looked set in stone are tweaked to everyone's satisfaction. It's just a matter of sometimes being patient.
 
Thank you all for the good advice. My daughter is a "go with the flow" type of person. She hasn't really said anything until another girl on her team said something and then she asked me if it was true or not. I personally love her coaches but there are times when I feel just like the other moms in feeling our level gets left out. My daughter also said they are the only group that doesn't get to up train any skills, that bothers her a little.
 
Thank you all for the good advice. My daughter is a "go with the flow" type of person. She hasn't really said anything until another girl on her team said something and then she asked me if it was true or not. I personally love her coaches but there are times when I feel just like the other moms in feeling our level gets left out. My daughter also said they are the only group that doesn't get to up train any skills, that bothers her a little.

What does she want to do about it? And how old is she?

It looks like there are two things going on here. The mums feel the group is getting left out. Does your daughter feel that way?

And you're daughter feels like she's really like to learn new skills but feels her group is the only one that doesn't get to do that. Can she talk to her coach about that.

Is it worth asking the coach if they could meet with the parents and give them a rundown on what the plans are for the group? It would be important for the parents not to gang up on the coach and make this a complaints-fest, but by asking the coach to share their vision for the group, this can often bring everyone back together again. It's worked really good for our team and has stopped a lot of the sideline gossip and chatter.

You might find that there are reasons why this group is doing different things at the moment that actually make sense. Knowing this and then being able to communicate it to the gymnasts can clear the air and let everyone get on with the plan.
 
I think it's funny how many people in this space worry about being a CGM. I'm pretty sure the people like that don't worry!

Here's ten signs that you're a crazy gym mum, that help me to be the best gym mum I can be:
  1. Your focus is only on your own gymnast - you don't really give a stuff about the others in their team, or the club in general
  2. You have lots of meetings with the coach, gym admin owners etc, rather than building your gymnast up to talk to their coach about what their goals are or what they are happy/unhappy about
  3. You watch all the training sessions and feel you have to give feedback to your gymnast on top of what the coaches are providing
  4. You focus on what your gymnast is working on right now, what level they are competing this year and what scores they are getting compared to others, rather than seeing the here and now as part of a longer term plan
  5. You forget that somewhere at the bottom of this sport are a bunch of kids who should see it as fun - at training and at comps
  6. You don't keep your mouth shut or offer kind condolences when someone else's gymnast has a really bad competition
  7. You focus on whether your gymnast comes first or wins a medal, rather than if they and their coach were happy with how they hit their routines
  8. You feel compelled to tell others what they should do with their gymnast based on your own decisions and circumstances, rather than empowering them to see their options and feel they can make up their own mind
  9. You get caught up in owning the gym dream yourself, rather than keeping it firmly in your gymnast's grasp
  10. You wear one of those puffer jackets without sleeves, skinny jeans and long boots that makes you look like you've just walked in from pony club, along with perfect hair and make up!
As for the OP - I'm with everyone else. Watch it play out for a bit longer, unless you feel that the circumstances could result in someone being hurt. I've always found 3 months to be a very long time in gymnastics, and often new things that looked set in stone are tweaked to everyone's satisfaction. It's just a matter of sometimes being patient.


The only thing missing from this perfectly painted picture of a CGM is that for #10 above, they will most likely be carrying a Starbucks in their right hand, at least in the U.S. anyway!
 
If you and other moms felt that your DD's group is pretty much the "reject" group, the group that gets cast to the side. Would you express your concerns to the HC or just let it go in fear of becoming that crazy gym mom?
Yes, Grass is always greener syndrome
 
I think it's funny how many people in this space worry about being a CGM. I'm pretty sure the people like that don't worry!

Here's ten signs that you're a crazy gym mum, that help me to be the best gym mum I can be:
  1. Your focus is only on your own gymnast - you don't really give a stuff about the others in their team, or the club in general
  2. You have lots of meetings with the coach, gym admin owners etc, rather than building your gymnast up to talk to their coach about what their goals are or what they are happy/unhappy about
  3. You watch all the training sessions and feel you have to give feedback to your gymnast on top of what the coaches are providing
  4. You focus on what your gymnast is working on right now, what level they are competing this year and what scores they are getting compared to others, rather than seeing the here and now as part of a longer term plan
  5. You forget that somewhere at the bottom of this sport are a bunch of kids who should see it as fun - at training and at comps
  6. You don't keep your mouth shut or offer kind condolences when someone else's gymnast has a really bad competition
  7. You focus on whether your gymnast comes first or wins a medal, rather than if they and their coach were happy with how they hit their routines
  8. You feel compelled to tell others what they should do with their gymnast based on your own decisions and circumstances, rather than empowering them to see their options and feel they can make up their own mind
  9. You get caught up in owning the gym dream yourself, rather than keeping it firmly in your gymnast's grasp
  10. You wear one of those puffer jackets without sleeves, skinny jeans and long boots that makes you look like you've just walked in from pony club, along with perfect hair and make up!
As for the OP - I'm with everyone else. Watch it play out for a bit longer, unless you feel that the circumstances could result in someone being hurt. I've always found 3 months to be a very long time in gymnastics, and often new things that looked set in stone are tweaked to everyone's satisfaction. It's just a matter of sometimes being patient.
And after all this your DD quits because it's just not fun anymore... hmmmmm wonder why... :)
 
It is really hard to tell what is going on from the stands or even if your son has a clear understanding of the facts. I would ask to speak with the coach but not to ask why your son is not getting the same attention as the othe groups. Instead, I'd inquire about his progress. Is he struggling with anything? Is there anything that can be done to help? Is there a plan in place for his future? What are the current goals? Questions of that nature that will illicit positive and productive information instead of putting the coach on th defensive.
 

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