Dani's Devastating Meet...

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Hi Everyone. Well, today was rather humbling for Dani and myself. The scores just seemed like they were a lot lower than her first meets scores. Here's the rundown:

Vault - 9.1 - 7th place
Bars - 8.65 - 5th place
Beam - 8.15 - 8th place

and probably the most DEVASTATING score of them all:

Floor - 7.00 - not even sure of what place (The judges didn't even flash her score on the electronic score board so I didn't realize they gave her a 7.0 until the end of the meet and I talked to her coach.)

AA - 32.9 - not even sure what place

The floor score really bothers me because it seemed like it was pretty much the same quality routine as last meets'. She needed a spot on her ROBHS but I couldn't see too many other deductions. Last meet she scored a 8.50 on floor that now I am thinking might have been a total "GIFT" to her--not really sure. I am posting the video of her floor routine so if any coaches or judges can tell me what she did wrong please let me know. Here is the video:

YouTube - St Marys Floor Ex 1/24/09

I am chalking this meet up to "not being her best meet" kinda meets and Dani doesn't feel too bad. She was definitely surprised that she didn't get on the podium for All-Around, but she was still happy, cheerful and a gracious loser. Not that anyone is really a "loser" but you know what I mean.

What really concerns me is what her friend (see previous post on jealosy has reared its little head) had said to Dani today at the meet. I need you guys' opinions on this because I am not sure if I should just let it blow over or if I need to talk to coach about it. Dani said that after her vault score flashed, her friend said to her "Wow, Dani--you did worse than last time". Then when they were at bars waiting, her friend said to Dani "I don't want any secrets between us because I know we are really good friends but I am going to beat you in All-Around today." She actually did end up coming in 2nd place AA and she won floor and beam so she had an excellent meet. But, what irritates me is the fact that she has to act so nasty to my daughter and make comments like that. I mean, I am all for competition between teammates but not when it gets nasty.

When I asked Dani what she said to her after the comments she said that she just turns away and sits with another friend. I am soo proud of her for that!!! I mean, I would have LOVED for her to say something back to her, but the fact that she ignored it and didn't banter back and stoop to her level was very dignified, IMO. It just sucks that there are nasty kids that she has to deal with.

So should I bring this up with the coach or not? I told Dani that she is doing the right thing by walking away but I also don't want this kid picking on her and throwing jabs at her either. I don't think talking to the parents will do any good because they are competitive and I see where the daughter gets it. I told Dani to just focus on her skills at practice and to start hanging out with the other girls when she starts being mean. Any other advice???

We are going to go out and celebrate tonight for her ribbons that she did win at the meet, her great sportsmanlike behavior and for her birthday (which is tomorrow)!!

Thanks for letting me vent guys!!!
 
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First I would like to say that Dani's scores were not that bad (floor was very low, but the others were not too bad). She should be proud. She is just beginning her gymnastics competition "career" and it really takes some time to get comfortable doing the routines in front of judges etc.

As for her floor exercise (and I am not a judge and I only coach pre-school and rec so take this for what it is - a non-professional observation) it really just needs some polish in form. I saw a lot of bent legs (bwo, kickover, handstand forward roll) and legs apart. A little wobbly (that is my DD's main problem on floor - very wobbly. sometimes downright messy - it is her worst event). Obviously the major deduction was the spot on the ROBHS. I am not sure if she maybe left out an element completely - the L4 routine is not yet etched in my brain like the L3 :D but she may have just lost a lot of points a tenth or two at a time - each bent leg, each leg separation, each wobble. Again, not a judge or team coach so take it w/ a grain of salt.

Now, as for the nasty little teammate. I would talk to the coach. This is not acceptable behavior from a teammate (or anyone for that matter). There is nothing wrong w/ a 9.1 for one thing. But to just keep putting down Dani and taunting her ( I am going to beat you in AA) is uncalled for and unsportsmanlike (OK, not sure that is a word but.....) IMHO this needs to be nipped in the bud. It can only create animosity amongst teammates and that girl will never have any friends.

Not sure if I was helful.
 
I would be more concerned about the Team spirit, or lack thereof, aspect of the meet than Dani's scores. I think she did a great job and should be proud of herself. She didn't come last, or anywhere near it. But then I am used to this, my older DD hasn't been in the top three on an event for two years. Not everyone can.

But the obnoxious little "friend", now that has to stop. I just dealt with a little situation in my youngests group. One girls was constantly creating little "clubs' to which my DD was not invited, DD is the only English kid. Little Bog said she wasn't bothered, but I sure was. That kind of behaviour is bullying and is not to be tolerated. I emailed the coach with all the info I had and the coach jumped down hard on the evil manipulator!!!

You really should tell the coach of the specific comments she has made to Dani, they are very crual and the child needs to be warned that it won't be tolerated.

Tell Dani I think she did a great job, she shows a lot of maturity dealing with this bully.
 
I am sorry that she didn't do as well as she had hoped. Scores can be so different from meet to meet. It is very confusing for parents, gymnasts and coaches I am sure.

As for her floor routine, I thought it looked pretty good as well. Her leg was bent in her kickover and her legs were apart during her back extension roll, and the spot. I do think the spot on the BHS takes away quite a huge chunk of the score, almost or at least 1.0 off the score, though I bet a judge or coach knows exactly. I hope she gets the confidence to do it by herself because it totally looks like she doesn't need the spot. :D

Her scores were really good otherwise and I bet once she gets her ROBHS with no spot, she will be close to 35AA. I will be soo happy tomorrow if my DD can just get a 32AA and I am not sure that will happen. LOL.

As for her friend, yucky position to be in. I have no advice for that except that I think Dani is doing the right thing to just basically ignore the behavior. I do think the coaches should know it is going on because they are a TEAM.

Happy Birthday to Dani!
 
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I think that is a lovely floor - the information I have says the deduction for a spot is 0.5 plus element value which is 0.6 for flic. So she would only be marked out of 8.9. So 7 out of 8.9 is a fine score. Perhaps at the last meet they decided not to penalise the full amount for it. It might persuade her to do it by herself next time - she looks like she could already. Don't worry she is doing great!
 
Thanks everyone for your input! I'm not so worried about the scores anymore, as I do realise that this was her second meet and judging can probably vary dramatically from meet to meet. I know that with some work and clean-up and polish she will try and do better next time. But, the not-so-nice teammate is what is really bothering me. I put a call into her coach and am waiting for a call back.
 
Well first of all, those scores are nothing to complain about. None of them are out of the ordinary, especially for a first year compulsory level gymnast. When I competed in the compulsory levels a million years ago I got plenty of 7s as well as a good number of 6s and a few 5s. Getting a 6.45 for a no fall beam routine my first year of level 5 was a huge thrill. It sounds like she's doing really well and will continue to improve her scores as she gets more experience and confidence. Her coaches will know what she needs to work on and things will most likely go up from here.
Her biggest deduction on floor was obviously being spotted. An 8.5 is a really high score for a routine with a spot, the 7.0 score is probably more accurate. Expect her score to jump a good amount when she does the ROBHS by herself. As far as other deductions, just little things. Legs apart and bent on her handstand-kickover, legs separated on her backward roll to push up position, and just a few other places with bent knees, flexed feet. Nothing major at all and with a little polishing she will be doing awesome!
 
1. absolutely speak w/her coach about the other child's behavior! that is mean and should not be tolerated!
2. Was this meet also an MDL meet or was it a USAG meet - maybe there is a difference in the scoring between the two?
 
A short email to the coach would suffice. That way the coach can address the whole team and remind all of them about supporting teammates, good sportsmanship, etc, then keep their ears open for more of the same talk. (As a coach, I wait untl I hear it for myslef before I will deal w/ an individual child/ parent. That way you dont get into he said, she said..)

Its only a matter of time until this childs attitude becomes evident to the whole team, most likely the coaches are already aware. This child is not atrue "friend" to your daughter, nad sadly, she will come to that realization soon. Hopefully she will be able to learn good sportsmanship through gymnastics!

I commend her (and you) for your calm reaction to the whole thing!
 
Congrats! Thats still a fine score for a first year competing! When I was a level four I scored some 26s. My highest AA was like a 29. I actually got a 4.7 on beam one meet. As an 8 year old I didn't really mind even. Whatever gym you go to there will be some jealousy. You can't avoid it. My one teammate beat me one meet and actually said, "I'm so glad I beat you." She also told me multiple times that her goal was to beat me. We were actually quite good friends too. She doesn't do gymnastics anymore but that was when we were little anyway. Nobody comes right out and says it anymore but you can definitely tell.

Also Happy Birthday Dani!
 
***UPDATE*** Thanks guys! I called the coach and mentioned the 2 comments made to DD. She did mention that she was going to talk to the girls at the next practice about "sportsmanship" anyway because she noticed some of our girls crying and moping on the medal stand when they did not place as well as they would have liked. So with these added comments about my dd, it is pretty much making the sportsmanship/team spirit talk that much more necessary.

Thanks everyone for your comments and suggesting that I do talk to the coach and nip this in the bud now. The coach actually was noticing this kind of unsportsmanlike behavior anyway and I think she appreciated that I took the time to call her and discuss my observations with her. Hopefully, all the girls will have something to learn from this and some of them will keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves.
 
You know I'm all about the mental aspect...I'm curious....what was the order of events? Did this little "friend" psych Dani out, possibly without either of them realizing it???
 
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As others have said, those are great scores for second time ever competing! I'm sure she will do great in the future, but sometimes better than others, as no one is perfect.

Sorry to hear about the un-sportsmanship like attitudes. Then again, they are young and are still learning all that stuff so reminders now and then from coach would certainly be helpful i'm sure.

And Happy Birthday Dani!! She's what, 10 now?
 
You know I'm all about the mental aspect...I'm curious....what was the order of events? Did this little "friend" psych Dani out, possibly without either of them realizing it???

OMG--that is so interesting that you say that...Vault was the 1st event. Bars was 2nd, Beam 3rd and Floor 4th. Right after Vault, that was when her friend made the first comment and right before Bars was when the 2nd comment about beating her in the AA was made. You have a very interesting point Gymjourney!!!! Dani did seem a little "off her game" and a bit "distant" after vault. I mean come one...if someone told you "Wow--you did worse than before" on your first event, that would pretty much sour the rest on your competition if you didn't know how to "get back on track" and "shake it off".

Hmmm...I may have to invest in some good mental toughness sports psychology books...know of any good ones???
 
I think we've discussed before that our DD's have a lot of similar traits. I know my DD would have done the same as Dani & just tried to ignore the comments & move on...but I also know they would have bothered my DD deeply & probably had a negative effect on the rest of her events. I feel so bad for Dani! Although her scores really were fine...her teammate really needs a good talking to from the coach. Glad the coach is going to address this! I can't say enough good stuff about Dr Allison Arnold for mental training. Any books, articles or videos by her that you can get your hands on. It's an on going process...not overnight. But it really does help. Negative thoughts or comments far out weigh positive ones in the mind. So it takes a whole lot of positives, to undue a 1 small negative...does that make sense??? So Dani needs a whole of positives in her "bank" to draw from, ie: I'm good at this, I've done a million of these, I deserve to be on the podium...I will be on that podium. All in her own head. Sounds like her "friend" has the positive attitude down pat & she did win(interesting huh?), that's all well & good...but she needs to learn to keep her thoughts private! She must learn proper sportsmanship...nobody likes an obnoxious winner. Dani DOES deserve to be on that podium...she just has to believe it! You go Dani!!!Think POSITIVE thoughts!:D
 
Thanks Gymjourney!! I have read some of Dr. Allison's stuff--from headgames.ws website right? I came across a lot when Dani was still doing cheer. I totally know what you are talking about with "the bank" and that Dani needs to fill it with positives...I do have that book by Dr. Caroline Silby, Games Girls Play...I need to re-read that. Thanks for the kind words...our dd's are very similar and it is nice and comforting to know that I can talk to you about the whole gymnastics world!!!

Thanks again!
 
Sorry her meet didn't go as well as you guys would have liked. She still did awesome - don't forget she has only been doing gymnastics for a short time. As far as the nasty little girl - can't stand ones that are like that. When my dd was level 5 there was a girl on the team like that. She would say to girls - did you fall on beam - oh well - I didn't. And dd had a bff on the team that was very competitive with her. My dd would score higher on vault, beam and floor but would bomb bars (had a tough year on bars) and the other girl would beat her on the all around because of it and loved to rub it in. My dd got to the point she dreaded going to practice because of a few diva's. Sadly the head coach reinforced the behavior instead of squashing it. Sounds like your coach will deal with it much better. Tell Dani congrats on going out there and doing her thing. Very few girls can do what they do !!
 
Thanks for the tip on Dr. Caroline Silby, I'll have to check out her book. Remember we can't change other people...only ourselves & how we react to other people. So although the coach will "talk to the team", who knows if this "friend" will change her rude ways. We can help our DD's, by helping them gain the tools they need to succeed. But they have to do the work themselves...they have to know the strategies & then remember to use them. This is were my DD is still working. She does know her "positive mental bank"...but forgets to make withdrawls,LOL! Little reminders might be helpful at the meets. My DD has a red ribbon tied to her backpack as a gentle "reminder"...maybe I should have made that a blue or gold ribbon,LOL!!! But hey, I'm still figuring this stuff out too! I wanted something to remind her to use her mental skills...but not something that would embarrass her in front of her teammates. But sometimes I think it's just too "gentle"...and I just want to tape a big sign to her gym bag "You are a great gymnast! Now go kick some butt!", LOL!!!! All I know is...and my DD will tell you...when she remembers to use these positive thought techniques... she DOES do better(in general). There is a BIG mental aspect to gymnastics. Any mental edge you can help your DD attain is a benefit. And I feel it's important it be done with good sportsmanship in mind also.:)
 
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Honestly? Those were not devastating scores at all, I think she did pretty good! The vault score was AWESOME! Last year vault was my DD's only "9" all season and the rest of the events scored 7 & 8's. Vault was the only one we could count on for being good. It did get her a medal at states when everything else was not-so-good, but made her realize she only had to start working on getting better at 3 events instead of 4! Bars and beam scores for your dd shows that she's THERE with the skills, she probably just needs to tighten up, no bent knees anywhere, get those handstands up and no bobbles, wobbles or extra steps on landing. This will all come with practice and confidence. She's a little older than my DD so she should be able to apply all those coaches corrections pretty well. My DD had a hard time last year as a 6 yr old fixing things because she just didn't understand and lacked maturity.

The floor, wasn't that bad. I agree with everyone else, once the spot is out the score will be much bigger! From what I understand the coach can even stand out there just-in-case, but no deductions unless she touches her. Also, from just a mommy perprective and not a judge, she just needs to tighten up and keep legs together on handstands, handstand needs to be held a little bit, overload legs have to be together, handstand into a BWO the legs to stay together as they go into the postition and then straight leg over. Your DD has great leaps so you are sooo lucky there, LOL! And she holds her head up and doesn't look at the floor like my DD used to do. Again, all these little things will come together soon with practice. 32AA is a great score and will only get higher.

Now for the friend. Last Summer my Dd was making bragging comments to some teamates and thankfully the moms were nice enough to let me know and we nipped it in the bud right away. My DD was winnning alot of contests at practice and getting all diva-ish about it saying how she was the only one who held her handstand longer, only one who got a kip, ect...so I had a talk with DD about being on a team and how skills will come differently for some but that everyone had their own strengths and weaknesses.... but all contributed something special to the team as a whole! We talked about team support at meets and how to be happy for your friends and supportive because everyone could have good meets or bad meets. My DD is in the gym 11 hours a week with these girls and that they need to work out things with themselves too. USE YOUR WORDS! I gave permission for team friends to tell my DD when she was not being nice to keep it in check....but sometimes that resulted in overuse where my DD thought everyone hated her because for every little thing it would be a comment. Now that they are older it doesn't happen at all hardly. But sometimes my DD tends to worry about what others are doing and not herself. EX: she will tell me "so-and-so was on the bars when she shouldn't be". I tell her over and over that us moms pay good money for the coaches to coach and not her, and that she should worry about just herself and and what she is doing. My DD is not the high score on the team though, so there is no bragging there, but I think the longer the girls stay together the more they learn to work it out amongst themselves the better it gets. I try not to get involved too much, but in your case I would probably let the coach know. Everyone needs a team support/attitude check once in awhile. Sometimes they learn these kinds of comments from the older girls too. My DD's L4 team was HUGE last year and she got bumpped around and bragged too alot from the older girls so I thing she was trying to "give" back if you know what I mean. But, I won't tolerate it. In your case if she is doing it to Dani, then she is probably doing it to the other girls as well. Do you know the mom well enough to say something to her? And good for Dani to know to walk away and sit with other friends but maybe next time she could tell that girl "I need to walk away from you now because you are being mean to me" and soon that girls will realize her comments are hurtful! She might think she is just being competative and need a reality check from a teamate!

Hope it all works out, keep us posted!
 
First - Happy Birthday Dani!!! Enjoy your day!

Second - Dani's scores were great. WOW what a nice vault score. She is doing great - like everyone before me said, it is only her second meet. This sport teaches so many life lessons and the hardest one that Beetle has had to learn is to not get down about the scores. To know that you will have good days and bad days... and that SHE Cannot control the score, she can ONLY control what she does...

Third - Beetle had been pretty fortunate with her teammates. I can only imagine how hard it is to not feel 100% supported by your teammates. I am SO grateful for this season. The girls hug each other before and after every event.. they are so supportive of each other. It is heartwarming and I think helps with overall mental state. I am glad to hear that Dani's coach is going to talk to the girls about sportsmanship. Our girls are actually told to keep your emotions in check when you get a bad score and if you get a good score.

Finally, the floor score. I am not a judge, but I also think she didnt get credit for the BHS. If I remember right from your previous videos, most of the time Dani's coach spotted the BHS with one had. This would be up to a .5 deduction.. In this meet she spotted with both hands and looks like she helped 'flip' Dani, This may be why they didnt give her credit for the skill at all.

Good luck at her next meet!
 

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