Parents Daughter told me she wants to quit last night

[theBananaBunch]

My almost 6 y.o. told me that gymnastics is too hard, and wants to quit. She just moved up a few weeks ago in her pre-team level (has one more level before team). She goes twice a week for one hour. I think part of it is that she is with a different coach who is stricter, but she does also do fun stuff (hula hoops, relay running, etc.).

I told her that she had to go last night, and if she doesn't want to do it anymore, she can quit. BUT she has to finish out what we paid for (through the end of the session). DH took her, and she came home talking about a couple fun things.

Advice? Thoughts? Thanks in advance!

 

[profmom]

She may be too young for preteam. Can she go back to rec for a year and then reconsider?

 

[Frase]

I think many of us have been there got the t-shirt and often it comes out of no-where! My dd suffered lots of injuries last year, worked through them, won a big competition (the last of the year so no more pressure to come) then said she wanted to quit.

My dd is a bit older but we did similar to wht you seem to be doing. We set a date and agreed that as long as she tried her best till that date she could quit no questions asked. That date has long since past ;-)

 

[Clover]

She may just need to get used to the new coach and new schedule. You may find that by the end of the session she has adjusted and changed her mind.

Otherwise, if she really isn't enjoying it better to find out now before she starts team.

 

[theBananaBunch]

That's an option. She's been in pre-team since September- there are 3 levels. She just moved up to the middle level this past session. I do think she has potential (but don't we all), so want her to stick this current session through.

 

[Gymmomto2]

My youngest DD made that same decision when she was in rec classes at age 4. So we finished the session & she switched to dance. Did dance for 2 yrs then we moved out of state. She decided to do gym again at age 6 so I started her back in rec to be sure. Did rec for 1 yr then preteam for 1 yr & has now completed L3 team & is moving to L4. Crazy how things come back around again. I've always told both DDs (my oldest is L6/7) that if they whine, cry or complain at or about gym we are done with gym. I'll be happy to say, that has never happened. Good luck!

 

[rsm]

This happened with us often at age 5 and 6. DD would say she didn't want to go anymore. At that time, I would tell her that she just needed to finish up the session that we paid for and then if she wanted, she could pick another activity (I didn't care what activity, as long as she was doing something active). Pretty soon after, she would be fine again, and always chose gym as her activity. Now if I ask her if she wants to skip a day, she asks "Why would I want to skip?".

 

[profmom]

Oh, and I wouldn't make anything much of a one-off comment. Only if you're hearing it repeatedly and getting resistance to going to practice. DS, when he was on preteam, would very occasionally balk at going to practice, but when we reminded him that he had to do practice every time if he ever wanted to make the team, he would grumble and groan but get in the car. But he was approaching seven or seven at the time, not five.

 

[3LittleGymmies]

I wouldn't just let her quit if she generally likes it, does it at home, and has talent. It would be different if she was 16. I would remind her that {xyz skill she already has} was hard, too... but then she got it and it became easy. I still need to do this with my daughter who is entering her third competitive season to help her get past fears of new skills. Ask her open ended questions that help her understand why it is hard sometimes. Assuming it's the conditioning stuff... "and if you didn't have to do push ups/pull ups/frog jumps/etc. do you think you would still get strong enough to learn your _____?" If it's about learning new skills, remind her of all of the skills she has already learned and how good it felt to work hard and finally get it. If she continues complaining, I would probably ask her if she wants to do gymnastics just for fun (which is okay) or if she wants to be on a team (and point out the team girls and how hard they work).

 

[tooootsie]

I have always said that it had to be fun for them and they had to WANT to do it. Fortunately this has always been the case. The one time it was tested was after we switched gyms and older DD had a hard time making friends with some of the girls. But she never said she wanted to quit. I would keep her going through the session and ask how she liked practice after every one. Remind her how fun gymnastics is for her.

 

[theBananaBunch]

Thank you all! She mentioned it last night, and the previous practice she said they do really hard stuff. I think part of the issue is that she has been in the previous level so long, she had mastered everything but the pullover until just recently. I'll keep encouraging her and see how it goes!

 

[IreneKa]

I agree that she should finish the session, and then take some time to think about it and decide if she really does want to quit. At the end, you can't force her to do something that she doesn't want to do. Even though it's hard to believe, sometime even at 5-6 year old they know better what they want.
DD had just turned 6 when she told me she didn't want to do dance anymore. I knew she had talent and I didn't want her to quit. I kept pushing her for another 6 month or so. I tried to find a way to make her interested again - move to a more advanced class, take private lessons, sign up for a competition, etc. But she kept saying that she wanted to quit. Finally, I let her quit, and I let her decide what she wanted to do. She chose gymnastics, and it's been gymnastics ever since, no complaining, no mentioning of quitting. I'm still amazed that at the age of 6 she already knew what she wanted and didn't want to do.

 

[gracyomalley]

Set a goal of completing what she's committed to (the session?) and then give her the choice. She's too young to do this if she doesn't want to, but hopefully if its just the coach or new stuff she'll be past that by the time you get to the next sign up. If its already a lot of work at just a couple of hours a week (rather than a lot of fun, can I do more mom?) AND she continues to feel that way, then I would give her the option of another physical activity (at least in our family we have always required a "sport" and an "instrument") and let her decide - after all, if she changes her mind she can easily jump back in at this age.

 

[gymdog]

Did you discuss with her the possibility of going back to an old class rather than quitting? At this age, sometimes they have to be comfortable. I would ask her how many times she thinks it would take for her to get used to the new class and feel comfortable, and ask her to agree to try it for that many times. After that discuss the possibilities of staying, going to an old class, or trying another activity.

 

[ShesAMonkey]

I agree with the rest who have said that you can't trust a one-off statement. My dd has said on two occasions she has wanted to quit. The first time was smack in the middle of her first competitive season (old L4). I made her see the season through, because she had made a commitment to the team. The very next day after the season was over, they started to work on new skills and she was excited to go again. It turns out that she was bored mid-season because they were focusing on polishing skills, not learning any new skills.

The second time she talked about quitting, it was right after she switched coaches. She was having a rough time adjusting to this coach's style (much more harsh than her previous coach) and once she adjusted, she was fine again. (And loves that coach now!) We had many tears shed during that first week of the summer, that year. She was convinced the new coach hated her and was picking on just her. lol.

So, I recommend waiting a bit. We always like to say we never make any big decisions about gym after a rough day at the gym.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

At 6 I would just drop her off for another couple of weeks (end of May) and see how things go, if she still doesn't like it then have them move her back one level and try again next year.