For Parents devastated little gymmie

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gymmomntc2e6

Moderator/Proud Parent
Aug 25, 2007
2,842
North Carolina
Hi everyone,

found out for sure last night that there will be NO L4 team in the fall at our gym :eek:. Which means that DD will repeat L3 :(. We found out in the booster club meeting. She was in tumbling class, so on the way home I let her know that the Owner / Head Coach told us at the meeting that she would not be having a L4 team for the fall.

She is just devastated. She cried all the way home. She does not understand why she won't be moving to L4 (frankly, not sure I do either - she still needs a couple skills but she has 2 months to get them. The main one she needs is the front hip circle). She said several sad things like "why did I have to do all that hard work for nothing?" "I must really be bad to have to do L3 again."..... the list of bad thoughts is too long.

I told her I could not answer her ?'s on why she is not moving to L4 except that she does not yet have all her skills and that she could use some polish - legs not always straight. She does not want to do "Boring L3 again". doesn't want to quit, doesn't want to change gyms. AAARRRGG !!

I have sent an email to the coach req. that DD & I meet w/ her to talk about why she is not moving to L4 since she is the only one who would be able to answer DD's questions. So, we will see what she says.

What gets me is that there are at least (there are some new girls that I have not gotten to watch on bars yet) 2 L4's from last year that do not have their kips yet, not really sure that they are even close. So my take is that they are being moved to L5 w/o all the skills. I am feeling like because they are short staffed on coaching that eliminating what would be a small (3-4) girl L4 team makes it easier on them. Breaking DD heart in the process. IF (and I say a big IF - that is the reason, I feel is very unfair to DD ).

Thanks for listening.
 
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skfleming255

Member
Jul 29, 2007
169
I hope you get some of your questions answered. I think sometimes when there are only a few girls for a level, the coaches may think it is pointless to go to meets for 2 or 3 girls. :( My daughter would be devastated, as well. Most kids expect to move up each year, especially in the lower levels.

I would try to encourage her by saying, "Look how well you will do at meets this year. You have an advantage over almost all of the level 3's b/c you've been doing it for a year now. You should get really great scores this year, and you will definitely be ready for level 4 when the time comes. You will, also, be a leader of the new girls coming on to the level 3 team. You'll have to show them the ropes." Kids like to feel that they are the leader, and that they have to show others how to do things.

Good luck! Keep us updated on what you find out from the coach.
 
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flippymonkeysmom

Guest
If that is the reason - it really isn't right. You can't make the kids suffer because there aren't enough girls at a certain level. This year our gym will only have 2 level 5's - but they weren't held back b/c of it. There will be about 15 level 4's - so that would have been really easy to do - but wouldn't be right. I'm also really surprised that the coach has not discussed this with you personally yet considering it does affect your dd - that would really tick me off. I think you are doing the right thing meeting with the coach so you and your dd can get some answers. I hope it all works out for you ((((hugs))))
 

melmonette

Active Member
Aug 16, 2007
636
omaha, ne
awwwwwwww I totally think it isn't fair either. I know she doesn't want to switch gyms but in this case, I think she should:(
I hope you get your answers from the coach. Hugs to both of you:(
 

Monkeygirlsmom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Feb 10, 2007
764
That is a tough one! As you know I can understand to a point tho my 8 yr old is only on preteam, anyhow I feel your pain its soo hard they are at an age where they get things but still so young that some things are easy to understand others are not!
good luck and talking to the coach is a good idea!
 

gymmom14

Member
Proud Parent
May 21, 2008
427
I agree with looking at other gym's in your area. If the reason for not having level 4 is for the gyms convenience then that is not acceptable. It is also not acceptable for your child to get frustrated and lose her love of the sport by repeating level 3. The skills in level 3 will probably not challenge her for another year. You pay a lot of money, I am sure and deserve at least a meeting to understand why the gym has made this decision and then you have the right to make your decision on how to proceed.

Just my 2cents.
 
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Billy

Guest
That really does seem unfair. It seems like the gym would be able to accommodate a small team, even if it means having them practice at the same time as the level 3 or level 5 teams. If the coach says its because your daughter doesn't have her front hip circle, I would be sure to question the level 5s that don't have their kips. It seems to me like the gym is making this decision based on their convenience and not based on the best interest of the girls.
 

gym law mom

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Proud Parent
Dec 23, 2006
2,527
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Certainly talk with the coach and get some answers as to what skills your dd would need to move to L4. Of course, if they've decided not to have a L4 team, it probably won't help to argue that she may have them by the end of the summer. See if you can get the straight story as to why no team---not enough coaches, girls just don't have the skills(why not?) etc. and what are the plans for this coming year for all these girls who are repeating L3? Will they get to spend more time working on the L4 skills and maybe drop a meet or 2?

Personally, I would not point out girls that may or may not be ready for L5. Then you come off as sour grapes. Take the high road and let the coach explain plans etc. for the coming season. After that you may have to sit down and make a decision if this is the gym to stay with.

I can say many gyms will not move girls up that do not have some skills for the next level. They want to spend these summer mos. getting full routines ready and not teaching skills, making sure they can be done consistently and then putting them into routines. Of course, a major concern for me would be why aren't the girls from L3 ready now???
 

gymmomntc2e6

Moderator/Proud Parent
Aug 25, 2007
2,842
North Carolina
I can say many gyms will not move girls up that do not have some skills for the next level. They want to spend these summer mos. getting full routines ready and not teaching skills, making sure they can be done consistently and then putting them into routines. Of course, a major concern for me would be why aren't the girls from L3 ready now???[/QUOTE]

Thanks
I am going to try to get some answers. It may be that she wants her to get more polished (straighter legs on kickover etc). But it would be nice to know that.

All of the L3's from last season have struggled on bars, especially the mill circle. My dd is the only L3 that has gotten it so far.

They have not worked on routines yet this summer (except bars). DD and one other L3 train one day a week with the L5's and are working on both L4 and L5 skills. Coach did say she may move them up after Christmas and have them compete the next level in the spring. Most of the new L3's won't compete this fall, but in the spring as well.

Thanks for all of your support. I will let you know what I find out.
 

jls1969

Member
Sep 27, 2007
105
Also remember that L4 is NOT necessary to move up to L5 (USAG)---some kids start L5 w/ no L4's. This is what our gym does. When you talk to the coach, ask if there might be a possibility she could compete 5 in fall of '09---if she is ready for that. I can't imagine that a coach would hold back a child just b/c there is not enough coaching. I also agree to go in with ONLY your dd's situation. Don't appear concerned about the others---let her/him know that you are interested in your dd's gymnastics as it pertains to her. Hope this helps!
 

Panda-girl's Mom

Active Member
Jan 9, 2008
781
I agree with most of the other replies. If they are not moving her up because their is no level 4 team it seems very unfair. I would talk to the coaches and look into other gyms. Most of the level 4 on my daughters team this year struggled with bars. My daughter competed as a level 4 last year and still struggles with her front hip circle at times. If your daughter is like my daughter she gets bored easily and if she is not challenged she often talks about quitting. Right now she is very motivated and enthusastic about gym because she is learning new skills and she does not know which level she will be in the fall. It sounds like by them telling her she will have to repeat level 3 that it is taking away all of her motivation. I hope things work out for you.
 

Aussie_coach

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Jan 4, 2008
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I am going to throw a different opinion out there, sometimes these thing to HAVE to be done for the gyms conveniance. The cost of sending a child to competition is high, not just for the parents but for the gym. The gym need to pay for the coach to attend, as well as pay a coach in many cases to replace them for other classes they may be coaching. I dont know how it works in the USA but we also have to pay a judges fee if we do not provide a judge and that fee is a few hundred dollars. It simply may not be financially viable to have a team with 1 or 2 girls.

Ultimatly a gym is a business and they gym owner and coaches do need to be able to make a living and dont want to pass very high fee's onto the parents.

If the coaches are good repeating level 3 wont be a huge issue, the kids have competed a season already so they wont need to spend as much time on routines. They should be able to dedicate some time to routines each session and also lots of time to skill development and working the harder skills. They should do well at competitions and the extra skill development time will be a huge advantage.

This could even be the gyms plan, they may want them to compete a level this year they find easy so they can experience success and builkd their confidence while not having to spend huge abouts of time on routines and work the harder skills.
 

gymmomntc2e6

Moderator/Proud Parent
Aug 25, 2007
2,842
North Carolina
I am going to throw a different opinion out there, sometimes these thing to HAVE to be done for the gyms conveniance. The cost of sending a child to competition is high, not just for the parents but for the gym. The gym need to pay for the coach to attend, as well as pay a coach in many cases to replace them for other classes they may be coaching. I dont know how it works in the USA but we also have to pay a judges fee if we do not provide a judge and that fee is a few hundred dollars. It simply may not be financially viable to have a team with 1 or 2 girls.

Ultimatly a gym is a business and they gym owner and coaches do need to be able to make a living and dont want to pass very high fee's onto the parents.

If the coaches are good repeating level 3 wont be a huge issue, the kids have competed a season already so they wont need to spend as much time on routines. They should be able to dedicate some time to routines each session and also lots of time to skill development and working the harder skills. They should do well at competitions and the extra skill development time will be a huge advantage.

This could even be the gyms plan, they may want them to compete a level this year they find easy so they can experience success and builkd their confidence while not having to spend huge abouts of time on routines and work the harder skills.

Aussie Coach,
Thank you so much for your opinion. I always appreciate all views. It is hard to keep things in perspective when it is your child. I am not sure how it works w/ all gyms but we pay a meet fee + a coaches fee for each meet. The meet fee goes to the hosting gym. The coaches fee to help offset the coaches costs plus her time.

As an adult, I understand that the gym is a business and that the owner does need to make decisions on a business basis as well. As a mom, whose child is heartbroken by that decision, it is just hard.

We will be talking to the coach tonight. I let her know that DD was very upset about doing L3 again and that she takes it to mean that she is not any good. Coach seemed shocked.

I may look back in a year and see this was indeed a good thing. I am also going to let the coach know that she is getting bored. She seems to enjoy her Thurs workout w/ the L5's much more than her Mon & Wed w/ the L3's.

Thanks, again.
 
Jan 22, 2008
437
I am sorry to hear this is happening. I would have your questions and your DD's questions ready and talk to the coach and potentiall the gym owner. They may have a bigger plan that they are not clueing you in on so to speak. I know when it is our babies it is hard to see the bigger picture. Good luck and tell your little gymie to keep her chin up.
 
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flippymonkeysmom

Guest
I hope the meeting answers your questions and help your dd feel better about the situation. Let us know how it goes.
 

Livinatthegym

Member
Feb 4, 2008
204
Region IV
I am going to throw a different opinion out there, sometimes these thing to HAVE to be done for the gyms conveniance. The cost of sending a child to competition is high, not just for the parents but for the gym. The gym need to pay for the coach to attend, as well as pay a coach in many cases to replace them for other classes they may be coaching. I dont know how it works in the USA but we also have to pay a judges fee if we do not provide a judge and that fee is a few hundred dollars. It simply may not be financially viable to have a team with 1 or 2 girls.

Ultimatly a gym is a business and they gym owner and coaches do need to be able to make a living and dont want to pass very high fee's onto the parents.
I was thinking the same thing. Most "teams" break even, rather than make money, for the gym. Sometimes, they can't run a level for just a couple of girls. Our gym has had girls repeat levels under the same circumstances.

No, it isn't "fair" to your dd, but it's not "fair" to ask the gym to operate at a loss. There are no winners in this situation.
 
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Billy

Guest
Why couldn't the girls who are ready train level 4 along with the level 3 or level 5 teams? In our gym, the parents pay all the meet and coaches fees and the coaches would be going to meets for their other teams anyway. Why not just add the necessary sessions to accommodate the level 4 girls, too? They wouldn't necessarily have to train separately and go to separate meets and everything.
 

gymmomntc2e6

Moderator/Proud Parent
Aug 25, 2007
2,842
North Carolina
update

DD and I talked to the coach yesterday. The good news is that DD no longer feels as though she is remaining a L3 because she "sucks". Coach also told her she would move up after the season so she would complete L4 in spring season. That made her somewhat happy.

Basically, there just are not enough ready for L4. DD still needs her front hip circle and needs to pretty up a few skills. She has issues w/ being loose. So, we are going to work on that for now.

She is currently working w/ the L3's on Monday & Wednesday. the last couple of weeks she has also done the tumbling class on Monday and Tuesday. She, and one other L3, work w/ the L5 & 6's on Thursdays. She LOVES Thursday workouts. Today she did her flyaway (w/ a spot). Did her squat on by herself. She was working on kips. She also did several cartwheels on the beam by herself. She also worked on her BWO on beam (which she had done a few times by herself a while back - but tonight she was loose and not staying on by herself). So she is really having fun working w/ the big girls.

The mom of one of the L6's thought maybe she would do L4 in the spring and then depending on how she does do L5 next fall. We will see.

For now I am just happy that she is happy. That is all that matters to me. I am realistic in the fact that I do not have an future olympian on my hands so it does not really matter in the long run if she does another season of L3. It should also boost her confidence because she will be more prepared and there will likely be less competition on her age group as she will be 8 next month.

We don't really want to change gyms at this point. The only other one that is as close - I am not considering. We have had a few girls come from their and I don't like what I have heard. There are other good gyms in the area but..... they are further away and w/ gas prices so high and these other gyms are more expensive. I like our gym. I like the coach. She truly LOVES each and every girl. It is small and has a good team spirit.

Again, I would like to thank everyone for their support and input.
 
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