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Do you think parents can be to pushy!

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Dani

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Do you think that certain parents (maby at your gymn)
Can be to pushy and can over push their children.

Also what do you think about parents being coaches
do you think it adds difficulty or its help the gymnast.

Finaly if your a coach and a mom/dad do you coach your
own children or get other people to coach them!
 

Geoffrey Taucer

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Copied this thread in the coaches' forum.

http://www.chalkbucket.com/forums/showthread.php?p=9343

EDIT: Just to clarify: I'm not copying it because I think it's in the wrong forum; I'm copying it because it's something both parents and coaches should be able to discuss. I encourage parents to discuss it here and, if they wish, to read what the coaches have to say in the other topic, and vice-versa.
 
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bogwoppit

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Yes, of course parents can be too pushy. There is always a fine line between positive encouragement and pushing for results. I often have to bite my tongue when talking with my girls about gym. I used to coach, so I know a lot about what they are doing. I also know a lot about the levels that they will progress through in the sport. Most parents in our gym know nothing and often ask me for the info that they need.

It is hard to sit on the sidelines and want to know what is going on with your kid. In school we certainly quaestion what is going on with our kids. But, it often seems that if we ask the coach"what level will she do this year?" or "what training group will she be in?", we are made to feel as though we are pushy or critical of their skills. When mostly we just want to plan our lives so that it works for the whole family, not just the gymnast.

As for coaching your kids, I don't think I could with my youngest, my oldest would be no problem. They have asked at home and I have spotted BHS on the tramp and BWO's on floor, no sweat. But, they are not allowed to whine at me. Though now they are way beyond those skills we keep it in the gym where it belongs.

Three of our coaches have girls in the gym, they have all ended up coaching their kids to some degree. It mostly is fine, but it does seem that the main issues are personality issues and jealousy from other kids. Obviously the coaches kids get to train more hours (it's free for them) and they get to compete at a younger age, they get to be in the training groups that work best for the parents. That is life, but it does create tension amongst the other kids and parents. Other coaches have also been known to complain about the perceived favouritism.

All of the coaches kids have progressed well and seem to reach their potential, as the more gnarly personanlities have aged they seem to have mellowed too.

Pushy parents will always be there, this generation is very involved in their kids lives. They want to have it all and will demand, I get that it is tough for coaches, but they are in a child based service industry and we the parents pay the bills and want our kids to be the best that they can be. Parents can get carried away with that. Perhaps gym report cards and progress reports would be nice, occasional meetings with caoches too. We cannot approach them in the gym, too busy. We can't call them at home, we are often made to feel like tha bad guy, when all we want to know is "what is going on with my kid?"

Just my usual 10 cents worth:D.
 
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Dani

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I knew there was pushy parents
their were when I did competive
IceSkating. But I didnt think it
would be as competive as it is!
 

GymMom68

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May 3, 2007
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The short answer? Yes, and it's too bad that they don't bother to notice that their kids don't even enjoy it anymore.
 

Ingymmom

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Jul 12, 2007
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I have seen involved parents & I have seen pushy parents - there are definately pushy parents in school, sports, extra curricular academics etc., but I have seen so many more supportive parents then not:D
 

Ingymmom

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Jul 12, 2007
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Since I can not answer in the coaches forum, I will post my response here.

Hammy, your answer would be right on in the perfect gym environment. Unfortunately our gym is based on a much smaller scale. We have 2 head coaches for our competitive team and they happened to be out of the country at the time - the coach there was only a sub coach... actually they are the ONLY 2 competitive coaches (preteam - elite) . We do have 2 other rec coaches, but even if they would have been there, never would have said anything (they would not have even known anything was unusual - & the owner of our gym was not in town either. I did go to the coach prior to class and express concern - he saw how much the girls could do and just thought they should be doing more. He had seen a couple of our practices and was given a list of work to get done. He felt he knew more and was not about to listen to anyone. I feel if I were to sit back and wait for my dd to get hurt and THEN say something I would have not done my job as a parent. I ended up leaving early that day with my dd and not coming back. 2 girls ended up with broken bones over the course of the next 2 weeks.

My point is that I feel there are situations where a parent needs to step in, we pay for the program and it is not only our right, but our responsibility to watch out for our children. On the other hand, if it would have been our coaches I would have never needed to step in - I trust the program that they run completely. If stepping in gives me the name of pushy parent then so be it.

** I understand why coaches would want to post as well as parents about this subject.... but maybe it would have been better to put into one mutual forum for both to respond. just my .02
 
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bogwoppit

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Perhaps the threads could be merged and put in the chalk bucket main thread. Then everyone could join in???
 
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