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Parrothead

New Member
Nov 30, 2008
14
America
I've been reading the CB for a little while now but never felt like posting until now....

I enjoy watching my daughter as often as possible but in moderation at practice. My problem is there is one mother who is at every minute of practice and never leaves. She has the right to be there.... However, she makes negative comments about the other girls and the gym itself constantly. Also, no matter how far away I try to sit from her, I can not escape her constant commentary.

I know the gym is aware that she is a tad overbearing. However, I am not sure if they are fully aware of the comments and negativity she is sharing as well as how she is scaring away business for them.

I don't want to be "that" parent who runs to the director and "tattles" on another parent but I feel someone should speak up.

Has anyone else dealt with this issue in the past and any advice?

 
D

Deleted member 1703

Guest
My problem is there is one mother who is at every minute of practice and never leaves. She has the right to be there.... However, she makes negative comments about the other girls and the gym itself constantly. Also, no matter how far away I try to sit from her, I can not escape her constant commentary.

I know the gym is aware that she is a tad overbearing.

I can only offer my sympathy. Unfortunately there seems to be at least one in every gym around the world.

You have just got to wonder why she is still there, dont you? She is probably terribly insecure and that is why she has to run everything else down.
 

gotgym

Coach/Proud Parent
Coach
Former Gymnast
Proud Parent
Jun 11, 2008
275
Illinois
There seems to be at least one of these moms at every gym.. Most of the time they share their complaints with everyone but the coach or gym owner.. I am sure the gym is aware of it especially if shes one thats glued to the window at every practice. Most have a reputation that precededs them. If you dont believe the gym knows you may want to share your lobby experience with them .
Last year we had a simliar mom experience at our gym and one of the others came to us saying she couldnt stand it with Mrs complainer in the lobby and was going to address it head on. The next time when the complaining started she just said you seem so unhappy here you should really try that other gym in town.
 

gymmomntc2e6

Moderator/Proud Parent
Aug 25, 2007
2,842
North Carolina
We had one as well. She did not stay all the time, but she complained every time she was in the building. I never understood why she kept her dd there if she was so unhappy with it.

Eventually she left.
 
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msl529

Guest
We have one too, LOL! I just avoid her & hope she'll go away soon! The owners are aware, as she had already been kicked out of her previous gym! I think maybe they are taking pity on her kid, b/c the girl is nice, and deserves her chance to do gym. Too bad she has such a negative Mom! :eek:

I get up & walk away the minute she starts in. Otherwise, I feel myself getting angry, and that gets us nowhere. You can only control your own behavior & actions, unfortunately, lol! :cool:
 
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flippymonkeysmom

Guest
You could always buy her a gas card and print her directions to another gym :D
 

Tim_Dad

Member
Nov 3, 2008
414
Region IV (Missouri)
I can assure you - it's not limited to Gymnastics. "Those" parents are very involved with little league, basketball, Swimming, and football too. In traditionally male sports, some fathers can be incredibly insulting and disrespectful to any/all involved (Except his little Jimmy of course). They are indeed toxic people, and should be avoided as much as possible. I also have no elixers to offer, other then avoidence.

From my experience, these are usually the families that quit (child in tow) the sport most often due to some grave or intolerable "injustice" done to their precious can-do-no-wrong athlete. At least -- that's what i've seen. I just move away, or when they say something completely course, I'll give them them the "I can't believe you just said that" look, and turn away.

On a side note, and maybe it's just me, but it sure seems that the majority of 'verbose parents' are also the largest and most out-of-shape people in the bleechers too.
 
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emacmommy

Guest
We have them here too. We even discussed starting closed practices for team. However, we are a rural community here and many are rancher families that drive considerable distances and then have to hang around. We just have to tolerate and diffuse if big issues arise as best as possible. The alternatives for gyms here are hmmm, 1 hr north, or 2 hrs south.
 
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flippersmom

Guest
Yep. I've dealt with "that Mom" too. The kind that might think she's making a nice comment, but says something like "Wow, I guess she's getting better - she could never do that before and didn't look that good" to someone else when the mother of the kids she is commenting on is a few seats away. Or better yet, the mom was commenting on other families financial situations out loud in front of others!

Unfortunately, most gym owners probably won't do anything. They are feeling the pinch too from the economy, and unfortunately those parents are usually the first ones to pay.


The mom I knew of sat through every hour of every practice (even though she has other kids). I'm at a different gym, but heard she still does it and is thinking of sending her kid to camp this summer. Now how is she going to do that when she can't make it through a 3 hour practice!

Just stay way. If you catch her talking about you/your kid, I'd confront her and tell her you'd appreciate her staying out of our business. Please don't tell me what type of practice my child had, I like to hear from them - something like that.

Good luck.
 
G

GymnasticsMom

Guest
Too funny Flippy! I am actually thinking about doing that to a couple of moms at the girl's gym..

Try to avoid her as much as possible, just remember you are not alone! Many people have parents like yours. We have one that insists on coming into the actual gym and follow her daughter around so she can get a better view. She is a level 4 mom and her daughter is perfect! Never seen a girl like her! After practice all the mom does is yell and discuss quietly to her 8 year old DD how bad she did and if she didn't get a 9.5 or higher her gaming system would be taken away.:eek::mad:

Anyone remember when gymnastics was just for fun?:eek:
 

Blackie6

Active Member
Proud Parent
Mar 1, 2007
1,284
NJ
Country
USA
Welcome!

Yup, seems like every gym has one. We had one last year on the team that finally left. She lasted a year and moved onto her 4th gym and she was only 7 yrs old. This year we have another one to re-place her, LOL, that yells stuff out to the judge, screams all the girls names out before, during and after the routines at the meets, and sits thru a Sat 4 hr practice and comments to all of us on how our DD's did as we walk into the gym to p/up our girls. Most of us dump and run now since nobody wants to hang with the resident drama mama. I agree with everyone else who said that most of these types move along quickly. In the meantime just be friendly, be youself and don't get cornered! Only problem with our drama mama is that she spends tons of money in the gym for privates, morning programs and anything else offered to advance her child. I have a hunch that the owner just deals with her cause of the open checkbook. Good luck!
 

gym mom

Active Member
Sep 8, 2007
724
florida
I try to avoid them kind of parents,negativity does were off .The only time it really bothers me is when they start talking bad about the other girls,then I have to speak up .As other people have said they are in every sport ,schools etc and there kids do no wrong .
 
This year we have another one to re-place her, LOL, that yells stuff out to the judge, screams all the girls names out before, during and after the routines at the meets, and sits thru a Sat 4 hr practice and comments to all of us on how our DD's did as we walk into the gym to p/up our girls.


I cheer on ALL of our girls (by name) at the meets. Is that a bad thing?

I stay for a full practice (4 hrs) every once in a while to watch my DD and the other girls and to catch up on chit-chat with the other moms. When/ if I notice one of the girls learning something new or trying to perfect a difficult skill, I compliment them on their hard work as we are all leaving after practice. Any comment I have ever made about or to another gymnast/parent has always been VERY positive. I recognize the commitment that these girls have made and feel that they should be applauded for their dedication. Not that they aren't getting it from the coaches or their parents, but every little bit counts in my opinion.

Until now, I always thought I was doing the right thing in supporting ALL of the girls. Now I kind of feel like I might be viewed as a stalker. :worried: I never thought that I might be making people uncomfortable and that they just don't say anything about it to me. :confused:
 

Blackie6

Active Member
Proud Parent
Mar 1, 2007
1,284
NJ
Country
USA
I cheer on ALL of our girls (by name) at the meets. Is that a bad thing?

I stay for a full practice (4 hrs) every once in a while to watch my DD and the other girls and to catch up on chit-chat with the other moms. When/ if I notice one of the girls learning something new or trying to perfect a difficult skill, I compliment them on their hard work as we are all leaving after practice. Any comment I have ever made about or to another gymnast/parent has always been VERY positive. I recognize the commitment that these girls have made and feel that they should be applauded for their dedication. Not that they aren't getting it from the coaches or their parents, but every little bit counts in my opinion.

Until now, I always thought I was doing the right thing in supporting ALL of the girls. Now I kind of feel like I might be viewed as a stalker. :worried: I never thought that I might be making people uncomfortable and that they just don't say anything about it to me. :confused:

Gymbratsmom....I'm sorry....in writing a "quickie" post I was pretty vauge about our "mom" and in no way would I ever consider you one of "those" moms. Cheering on the girls is fine at a meet. Our "mom" SCREAMS each and every girls name before, during and after each and every routine and then yells to the judge things like "why are you taking so long with my DD's score" or "what? So many deductions" or " hey, you better give my DD a good score". She also says loud and negative remarks about her DD's routines (yes she does!) and has even pulled her off the floor in the middle of a meet to talk to her. She even used her cell phone to CALL the coach in the middle of the meet because her DD's score never flashed and she freaked out. She is so loud we are scared to sit next to her although last meet she was a little better after being spoken to previously. Parents from other gyms have contacted our gym to complain about her too! And, trust me, 4 hours is not all she sits for...she is there for almost all practices and morning programs, plus privates. In all, her DD is in the gym about 15+ hrs a week for level 4 with all the "extras". I sometimes stay to hang out and talk with the moms too or see what new things my DD has learned, but I would never comment to another mom something mean about their daughter or their progress in the gym.

From your posts I am sure you are genuine and supportive of your DD and her teammates, and doubt we could put you in stalker status. I am sorry if you felt that way after reading my post .......there is much more I could write about our mom too, but it is a public forum and you all probably wouldn't even believe me if I told you!
 
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msl529

Guest
I cheer on ALL of our girls (by name) at the meets. Is that a bad thing?

I stay for a full practice (4 hrs) every once in a while to watch my DD and the other girls and to catch up on chit-chat with the other moms. When/ if I notice one of the girls learning something new or trying to perfect a difficult skill, I compliment them on their hard work as we are all leaving after practice. Any comment I have ever made about or to another gymnast/parent has always been VERY positive. I recognize the commitment that these girls have made and feel that they should be applauded for their dedication. Not that they aren't getting it from the coaches or their parents, but every little bit counts in my opinion.

Until now, I always thought I was doing the right thing in supporting ALL of the girls. Now I kind of feel like I might be viewed as a stalker. :worried: I never thought that I might be making people uncomfortable and that they just don't say anything about it to me. :confused:
You are not even close to the crazed individuals we are talking about here! Do NOT worry, silly!

BTW, I am sorry if I missed any of your posts, but how did your dd do at States? I have been wondering!
 

gym law mom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Dec 23, 2006
2,527
Country
USA
Blackie---Your drama moma(love that name!!) takes the prize for the year I think. I'm surprised no judge has shown her the door at a meet although may have spoken with your gym owner or coaches. I know our coaches would have booted her to the curb after the 1st outburst and a call on their cell during a meet---geez, she is out of control.

As Tim_dad pointed out, you'll find parents like this is all kids activities---sadly. They seem to go from one sport to another and expect their child to be the star no matter what the child is able to do. All you can do is keep your distance---more than likely this mom will eventually pack up and leave for bluer mats somewhere else. I would mention any negative remarks about the gym/coaches to the owner or HC if you hear them on a regular basis. Many rec parents are also watching and 1 very negative parent can influence their opinion of the gym.
 
Gymbratsmom....I'm sorry....in writing a "quickie" post I was pretty vauge about our "mom" and in no way would I ever consider you one of "those" moms. Cheering on the girls is fine at a meet. Our "mom" SCREAMS each and every girls name before, during and after each and every routine and then yells to the judge things like "why are you taking so long with my DD's score" or "what? So many deductions" or " hey, you better give my DD a good score". She also says loud and negative remarks about her DD's routines (yes she does!) and has even pulled her off the floor in the middle of a meet to talk to her. She even used her cell phone to CALL the coach in the middle of the meet because her DD's score never flashed and she freaked out. She is so loud we are scared to sit next to her although last meet she was a little better after being spoken to previously. Parents from other gyms have contacted our gym to complain about her too! And, trust me, 4 hours is not all she sits for...she is there for almost all practices and morning programs, plus privates. In all, her DD is in the gym about 15+ hrs a week for level 4 with all the "extras". I sometimes stay to hang out and talk with the moms too or see what new things my DD has learned, but I would never comment to another mom something mean about their daughter or their progress in the gym.

From your posts I am sure you are genuine and supportive of your DD and her teammates, and doubt we could put you in stalker status. I am sorry if you felt that way after reading my post .......there is much more I could write about our mom too, but it is a public forum and you all probably wouldn't even believe me if I told you!


No apology necessary.:) I take no offense to your post. I was just starting to worry if I was crossing a line I wasn't aware of.

You're right, I am nothing like the mom at your gym. She sounds SUPER scary. Yikes!! :eek: I can't believe she yells and behaves like that at a meet. How embarassing for all of you.

We used to have a mom at our gym that would belittle her DD at every practice. The girl was always stressed out and in tears because her mother was never happy with her. One of my sadest memories was when the girl got her giants for the first time. She came running off of the floor to celebrate with her mom and her mom's only comment was, "Yeah, but your cast to handstand really sucked!" After that I made it a point to tell the girl that I thought she was doing a great job and that I was proud of her. I only hope she is getting positive support at her new gym.
 
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flippersmom

Guest
There's a difference between saying "great job on your kips tonight" and "wow, you're kips are looking better than with all those bent legs and arms". Keeping positive is fine! I think kids are fine with either compliment, but it is more upsetting to the parents.

Nothing wrong with sitting through a from time to time practice - it is fun to see all the improvements that are made!
 
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