WAG Dyslexia....should I tell DD's coach?

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Uglybetty

Proud Parent
DD confessed that she sometimes thinks her coach ( inexperienced low level coach) gets frustrated with her because she thinks DD doesn't listen properly. In fact, the real problem is not a lack of paying attention, it's that - as a moderate Dyslexic - DD struggles to "follow" complicated verbal instruction. So, for example, she can understand single instructions or corrections but will struggle if the coach says "do 10 of X jump on the beam, then 10 of Y jump, then 10 of Z jump" - DD may recall the first two in this string of verbal instructions, but will, by the time she gets to it, have forgotten the third element. If she approaches her coach to ask what she needs to do next then she's told (in a frustrated tone) "you should have been paying attention".

DD attends a programme were questions to coaches are discouraged...but I instinctively think this is a situation which should form an exception to the rule. There is a very real possibility this young coach (who's lovely btw, but who is barely out of school) has any idea about Dyslexia and how it can impact her gymnasts.

Any views?
 
I would explain to her, pretty much in the same way as you have just explained above. You've clearly and simply set out how it might affect her gymnastics in a way that doesn't required anyone to understand dyslexia itself.

You're not questioning the coach, or even asking a question - you're informing her of something which affects one of her gymnasts. Truly I think this is a reasonable reason to have a quick conversation with her.
 
Try and approach it in a very casual way ' oh I am so sorry dd can't remember lists of instructions of things to do, she is getting really worried about it. She is ok with 2 things but more is difficult for her, she struggles at home and school with things like that. It is part of her dyslexia, I should have said something before. blah blah. ' The coach will probably feel bad enough when you tell her!
 
I agree, you should definitely approach the coach and I'm sure they will take things on board. Especially as you say coach is young and most likely wouldn't have any experience with situations like this and probably wouldn't notice subtle things that could indicate a problem.

With regards to the instructions I agree with possibly writing it down. My ds has asd and ADHD and too finds following a a series of instructions difficult, this helps him greatly. It doesn't have to be anything elaborate, perhaps an A4 sheet of paper laminated and a dry-wipe pen. For example on beam for jumps it could simply be

10 X straight
10 X tuck
10 X split

This could just serve as a quick visual prompt and can be wiped off and replaced with next series of instructions.
 
DD has struggled with something "like dyslexia" but isn't officially labeled as such. Her school program accommodates her without a specific diagnosis. In the past, DD would simply hang back in the gym and be the last to go in every rotation - that way she could just see what her teammates were doing ahead of her. That said, since switching gyms a year ago, though, I'm not certain that she behaves quite the same?

I've never explicitly told her coaches about her issues (she also has a few other 'specific' diagnoses), but more because it hasn't seemed to be hurting her with them not knowing. She dislikes being 'special'. As she gets older, it seems she copes a bit better. If it was causing an issue in the gym, I'd likely mention it casually, as it's no ones 'fault', so to speak. I'd treat it no differently than I do with her teachers at school. If there's an issue and they need to know, we tell them. Coaches may appreciate it and it may even alleviate some frustration.

Maybe a dry erase board that she helps write could be handy, and help her remember?
 
Yes, I would absolutely tell the coach. Just like you explained it to us. Hopefully, she will be happy to repeat the instructions, instead of misreading the inquiry as "not listening". It's better for your daughter. I also think it's good for the coach, as she learns more about the differences in children, so her own coaching skills can widen as she adapts to different learning styles.
 
Yes, talk to the coach. Also, are you friends with a mom of one of your daughter's friends in the group? If you trust them, perhaps your daughter's friend would be happy to buddy up when possible to help give reminders. If the coach is on board with the buddy system, even better.
 
I would let the coach know. You can leave out the specific diagnosis if you want, but just give them a heads up that DD is really trying as hard as she can but, due to certain difficulties with how her brain processes information, she can struggle with receiving lots of information or instructions at once. It might not change the way the coach does things, but it could help her be a little more compassionate if your DD is having difficulty.
I once worked with a girl who had a sensory processing disorder, so she did not have a lot of outward difficulties, but responded to certain stimuli differently. I struggled with her until the mom told me her situation and offered some hints. However, I also know that I dealt with some learning issues and would have been embarrassed for my parents to tell my coaches out right what the problem was, though it probably would have been incredibly helpful.
 
I struggled with this with my youngest dd but she has ADHD. She doesn't like it when other people know she has ADHD because she thinks people will make fun if her. We did end up having to tell the coach as, she was just really not paying attention and fooling around, since then we have found ways to help her learn at gym, and we even do this at school. We have her carry around a small notebook or a small dry erase board around with her and her coach or teacher will make a list if the things she has to do, my dd is a big list person because it helps her stay on track and know what she has to get done, she really likes making lists too. I would definitely tell the coach, and come up with a way together that can help her learn better, hope everything goes well
 
!renwo dna hcaoc eht llet yletinifeD ;)
I had a friend in college that took all of her notes like that (only all the letters were backwards too.

to OP, I agree... tell the coach. Unless the coach has experience working with processing differences, then she would, of course, just think it is not paying attention.
 
Since she has dyslexia and it is impacting her performance at gym then I think a talk with the coach in order. I would keep it simple and to the facts. She has dyslexia that makes it very difficult to follow multi-step instructions. Ask if they can be posted or if DD can write down her own shorthand version of the steps.
 
Absolutely tell the coach and give that exact same example that you just gave. I would think any coach would want to know, and it can so easily be addressed with just small changes in how instructions are presented.
 
Yeah I'd tell her, but the problem is the coaches tell the kids to do it this way, then are upset the kids don't remember, are "cheating," whatever. At this level and age you say "everyone get on the beam...okay you here, you here. Everybody, straight jumps, every time I say a number: 1, 2, arms up! 3, point our toes! 4, etc" we work in this fashion on every event, then the kids cannot cheat or forget, if I'm counting and they aren't doing it I say "someone's not doing it! Everybody go! I want to see who has the best toes!"

Of course the kids think it's a vacation when I let them do it by themselves ;) which is very occasional if it's after a meet or they are tired or something, I'll let them work by themselves more, but letting the kids work by themselves is not helpful.

Just a tip for anyone working with elementary school kids. If you have a kind talk with her coach and suggest that you've notice when teachers give the instructions in smaller chunks as she does it to keep her on track, it might get the ball rolling the coach.
 
I'm sure that dispite her dyslexia your DD has come alone way in the gym and she should be proud that she has I'd let the gym know but commend your DD for the effort she has put in. I know everyone's child is different but dyslexia hasn't made gymnastics difficult for my daughter (8)it's made a difference and has helped her listen, take instructions and understand, all be it I do do work with her at home but she has no problem with gym and her dyslexia although I did inform the gym when she started. I suppose it does depend on how each child choose to learn too.

Have you tried getting her to take a paper pad in and write down her tasks to do? Do they not get written tasks to so that they have to follow? My DD does. I'd find all this out before hand It may help Just a suggestion

Although I'd like to just say it's not the coaches fault and to down play your childs coach in that manner Isn't cool. No one is experienced and I'm not being funny you may not have till you had your DD to say she has no experience with dyslexia you wouldn't know, as you never presented any of this in the beginning from what I read which does make it difficult for anyone teaching a child if they don't know she has learning difficulties, no one is really qualified in dyslexia as it's not a social stigma anymore not even us parents we all learn just like your coach so give her that time just like you have to be patient and understand so does she. she can't help your DD if you haven't communicated this learning difficultly she has. Sorry to sound harsh. But it's isn't the coaches fault at all. Communication works from both parties not just the coaches.
 
Thanks for all the moral support....I will be having a gentle chat with the coach. BTW I don't blame her coach at all....my only concern is making sure DD does well in gym.

Just to clear up any confusion: (1) I had already mentioned DD's dyslexia to the three most senior coaches in the gym, but they are not her squad coach and I probably should have spoken to her directly sooner (2) my reference to her being young and inexperienced was more to explain that I would not necessarily expect her to have dealt with many Dyslexic kids before (I assumed...perhaps wrongly....that any coach with several years experience, who's coached hundreds of kids, would have perhaps encountered Dyslexia before).
 
It didn't come across to me that you were blaming the coach or criticising her in any way, I'm not sure where that came from. I understood that you were referring to a potential lack of experience with kids with Dyslexia and you went to the trouble of saying that she was 'lovely'.

You would hope that if you've spoken to the senior coaches the message would get through, but in a busy gym I'm sure 'non-urgent' messages get missed. And even if she got the initial message a gentle reminder seems to be in order...

Good luck.
 
No what I meant was if you haven't told the coach your DD trains with you can't expect her (coach) not to get frustrated with your DD if she hasn't been told by the mother not just senior coaches. Imformation gets missed all the time. it wasn't a criticism to @Uglybetty but just pointing out that all sides need to communicate to meet the child's needs. And make sure she's getting help where she needs it. Speaking from experience as I also have a child with learning difficulties too. And I did the same.

@Flossyduck You can't just speak to senior coaches who don't train your child and expect that everyone in a gym would know what's going on with over 100+ kids I'm speaking also from a coaching experience at another gym.

If my comment came across in the wrong way that wasn't my intention I just picked up on what UGLYBETTY said and commented on a few things like others have. Also everyone has the right to give a there views just like all others have we aren't going to agree on everything on here lol.

Thank you and I hope that addressing your concerns with your gym go well and your DD improves from here on out

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