Parents Friday meets

[momto2js]

How often have you found that you have to have your kids miss school for a meet? In theory I don't have a problem with it for my son, but I don't work and only have one is school. But in the future I can see it being a big deal especially at the last minute. Our first meet was Friday evening so the kids went to school until 12 or so and then missed the afternoon. No big deal. However, our next meet is on Friday and the upper levels are at 8 am and the 4-5 are at 1. Either way it is a whole day missed. This one happens to be at the end of the term and many standardized tests are happening right now.

For us the worst part was we found out that the boys were on Friday, 6 days in advance. Not enough time for the working parents to make arrangements, or enough time for families with more than one child to find help so they don't have to take all the kids out of school.

How often have you run in to this? What is your families policy about missing school for gym? Has anyone considered talking to the coaches at the begining of the year (before meet decisions are made) and asking that they choose only meets that don't compete on a school day?

 

[krisnkids]

It has only happened to me twice. Usually you get 2 weeks notice as when the session times are so that helps. Now as a single mom it will be even harder, but thankfully my daughters are exceptional students so missing some school does not affect them academically. Their teachers know they are atheletes and make accomodations when necessary, as they do for any other athelete, debator, vocalist etc in the school. For work I am blessed to be in a wonderful situation where I can say "I may need such and such a Friday off" and then take it or leave it. For the boys, the oldest stays by himself and the youngest goes with. For the rare occasions that it happens I chalk it up to "appointments" that we cannot miss.

 

[gymgal]

We usually have about 3 meets a year where we have the potential for this to happen but actually happen 0-1 time each season. It really is only the huge meets where it might be an issue. Some parents have just chosen ahead of time not to go to the meets (we are not forced to go to all the meets scheduled). Others just plan the rest of their year to make sure they save the kids' unexcused absenses for meet season. I feel really bad for the families who have 2 competing on opposite ends of the weekend and the meet is 6-8 hrs away... As for parents working, sometimes they have to resort to having the child carpool with another family.

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[krisnkids]

See, to me it should be an excused absence. When a school's football team leaves school 2 hours early because they have to take a bus to such and such, they are excused.

 

[MaryA]

DD has a Friday meet coming up in a few weeks (also, a Friday session at a huge out-of-state meet, but that wasn't a big deal since the whole team is traveling together for the duration of the meet, so it didn't really matter what session we ended up with). We haven't had very many Friday sessions over her years in gymnastics, but maybe we've just gotten lucky. On one hand, I wish that there weren't Friday meets, because I do feel like school should take priority over gymnastics. At least the out-of-state meet I can justify as an "educational trip" but driving to a meet 2.5 hours away for a Friday noon meet and then driving back again doesn't seem particularly "educational." On the other hand, we pay for the meet long before we find out what day DD is competing, and I am quite sure that HC would not be thrilled if we told her that we wouldnt let DD compete at any Friday meets. So there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of choice in the matter. But DD is in middle school and I have taught in middle schools before. Kids are very frequently getting out of school early to compete in school sports. Every morning there would be a list on the announcements..."Please dismiss student on the wrestling team at 2:00. Please dismiss students on the lacrosse team a 1:30." etc. So ultimately I don't know why this is any different. If she was struggling in school, it might be a different matter, but then again, if she was struggling in school, we'd be addressing the whole "5 nights a week in the gym" thing before we'd be addressing the "missing an occasional Friday for a meet" thing.

I do agree that when schools have rules like, "you must request excused absences at least a month in advance" and we're lucky if we get the meet schedule 10 days in advance, it puts parents in a bind. You either have to request the Friday off before you even know for sure if your kid will be competing that day, or call him/her in "sick" (which I won't do... I don't want to put my kid in the position of having to lie when they go back in to school on Monday), or take it as an "unexcused absence." I somehow doubt that having an unexcused absence on their record in elementary or middle school is a big deal, but I don't know about high school. Maybe that's something that colleges look at?

 

[skschlag]

Usually 2-3 time a season, D misses a Friday and/or a Friday/Monday for meets. Fortunately, his teachers are great about it. This year, his brother is missing a day too. The team is driving down, and my oldest and I are flying to the meet. We are planning some educational activities.

 

[gymmomtoo]

Haven't had many Friday sessions over the years (maybe 1 or at most 2 a year), but have missed school for meets--travel, Regionals, etc. Our school is very good about excusing absences for sports and doesn't require a month's notice (really?!?) and if I had to call her in at the last minute I would just say she won't be at school that day--without giving a reason. The bad part about it being an unexcused absence is the inability to make up any tests or homework for that day. colleges don't look at unexcused absences (at least not in my experience with my two oldest), but obviously missing a test might affect the final grade they DO look at.

Oh--if you have to give a month's notice, I would do it for every meet in which you "might" have to miss on Friday, then once the schedule comes out and he/she competes Saturday, just say "oh, plans have changed and he/she is able to be at school."

 

[sglemon]

About 1x a season, not that often. We have been lucky, though. Several meets we go to do have Friday sessions, but we are usually not in it. The bigger problem I run into is Sunday evening meets, 4-5 hours from home. I HATE driving Sunday night, because many places are closed, and if something was to happen....ugh...

 

[MaryA]

Yes, the Sunday night meets are hard because I never know if I should make my child go to school on Monday or not. Like for this out-of-state meet we're going to, the bus is supposed to be getting back at about 1am Sunday night/Monday morning. I am thinking I will just try to get her to sleep on the bus and make her go to school (and I plan on going to work), especially since she will have missed Thursday and Friday of the previous week. Luckily she doesn't have practice Monday night, so at least she can come home from school and crash.

 

[Ingwe]

My Dd hasn't had to miss school for many Friday meets (maybe 2 or 3 ) like someone else mentioned, she has had to miss for Travel meets, regionals, etc. Her middle school is really good about excusing her. (they don't require any notice) She has a travel meet coming up where she will miss Thursday and Friday. I will just email her teachers about a week ahead of time and ask for any work that she may miss. If she happens to have tests scheduled they will either let her take them on Wednesday or when she returns.

 

[profmom]

Happens once a year or so for each of my gymnasts. If we get to upper-level optionals or the little guy gets into Future Stars and does well, it could be more, and at that point I might have some concerns. I don't think our school district distinguishes between excused and unexcused absences -- for instance, my oldest son got a stern note from the school about missing too many of his algebra classes, which he had missed because he was being pulled out for his weekly trombone lesson. (Sigh.) School policy is that you can't get work in advance of an absences, regardless of the reason.

However, I just heard from a livid parent of a L9 in a different district. They went to a travel meet in a destination location and she was out of school for something like three days. She was allowed to make up her academic work, but not the three gym classes she had missed. So this girl -- this Level 9 gymnast -- currently has a failing grade in gym class! <headdesk>

But YES it is a pain for gymnasts who have two parents working full time or only one involved parent or caretaker! (My hat's off to you, Kris!!) I can usually arrange my schedule to do the Friday meets, but it means getting to the meet location and getting the gymnast to sleep and working late into the night, or spending a lot of time working over the weekend after we return from the meet. The work doesn't stop just because I am away from my desk. Still, I am so grateful to have that flexibility. I know a lot of people don't. I don't know what we will do if both of them end up in a Friday session at two different locations! Have the short straw child carpool with a teammate, I suppose.

Late Sunday afternoon/Sunday evening meet report times really suck.

 

[cbifoja]

See, to me it should be an excused absence. When a school's football team leaves school 2 hours early because they have to take a bus to such and such, they are excused.

I'm currently fighting this battle with Bella's principal for just this reason! She will have to miss some days for the Sand Dollar in Orlando and I'm just betting that we pull a Friday session when we go up to the Arnold meet. This will be the first year she's had to miss school for a meet.

All of the other parents are telling me just to lie, but to me, it's the principle of the situation. Bella isn't a stellar student, but she does her work, turns it in, and doesn't miss school. And yes, in the third grade, it probably isn't a big deal to have some unexcused absences.

But dammit....it's not fair to punish gymnasts. Around here, school gymnastics is non-existant. And we aren't asking to be excused for the bahamas or for a video game conference. This is a sport and they work HARD. Meets are akin to games in other sports. So there!

Stepping off my soapbox now......

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

It seems to be more common for optional levels than when my 2 were in compulsories, but we now miss 2-3 Fridays each season, except for a big travel meet in Feb when DD will miss 5 days. She is rarely absent normally and is an excellent student so her teachers are not balking. She always tells them ahead of time and makes her own arrangemts for missed work. She's already arranged to take her math midterm a day early in a couple of weeks.

I agree that when traveling for sport, schools should allow for these absences to be "excused". It's not like they are sitting home doing nothing!

 

[krisnkids]

This is so pitiful that around the country kids are discriminated against because they are gymnasts. However, some have it right. When we were in California, kids could get gym credit in school for their workout times in gymnastics. The girls would bring in their cards to the head coach every 4 weeks to get them signed off that they worked out xx amount of hours a week. My daughter's older teammates would do this and do study hall instead of wasting time in PE. Kills two birds with one stone, homework got done and less stress on trying to get homework done between gym, school, bed and dinner.

 

[my4buffaloes]

We have gotten lucky, but I know other levels that end up with the friday slot time and time again. I figured this would be our year, but so far so good.

As for finding out so late - I always check meet websites myself as we get closer to the meet and don't wait for the gym to tell me. many times there is a few days lag time and I want to know as soon as possible for planning purposes.

 

[lhmom]

We have found that when DD is in a meet that also has optionals, she will sometimes have a Friday session. This season, it's been twice (once back in November and will have one next week). DD is at a small private school and we are fortunate that she has a very understanding teacher and principal who work with us. In fact, the principal's daughter is also a gymnast at another gym so she totally understands. My husband hates it though! I haven't told him that if she continues on to optionals, she might miss even more.

 

[Azgymmiemom]

This upcoming season is the first season for us (my dd and ds) where we have had a Friday meet. We have two. Both for my dd, and both out of state meets where she will compete the early Friday session, so we must fly out on Thursday. My kids are home schooled, so it doesn't make a difference to them, but the other kids on my dd's team are NOT home schooled, and I have heard them talking of this dilemma. Honestly, though, all of these kids are great students, so I don't know why it would be an issue. I don't feel the school administration should punish them- in my experience, competitive gymnasts are mostly overachievers in everything, lol.

We also dodged the big bullet of having my dd and ds competing on the same day/time at different venues. (Whew!) we were able to avoid it last year, too. The only busy weekend will be when my dd goes out of town for a friday meet and we will return late friday to go see ds compete Saturday afternoon locally. I know in this department-if they both keep competing-that our luck is gonna run out sooner or later and one kid or the other will have to go to a meet without me. My dh absolutely does NOT get Saturdays off.

 

[KnowNuthin]

In the last two years my DDs have had almost ALL their meets scheduled on a Friday. Last year there was only one meet that was on a normal weekend day. I've had to use up quite a bit of vacation to support this (not to mention my girls missing school). So far this year we already have two Friday meets (this coming Friday and Feb 15 for the Presidential Classic in Orlando). I sure wish there was some way to regulate this!

 

[SignHere]

About PE... My DD is getting a C in PE . Really? Really? She works out 15 hours a week! She has straight As otherwise. I have NO idea how this has occurred.

 

[J&A's mom]

We had one last year, and so far know we will have one on Martin Luther King Jr Day. We can say that we are on vacation so it won't be unexcused for the Monday one. Last year though, we had to say he was sick so it would be excused. That really bothered my son(and me as well) because he knows it was a lie. We are staying in a hotel for the one this year, so to us, that is a vacation....no lie! WooHoo!