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Friend Drama, Gymnastics related

John

Active Member
Proud Parent
May 5, 2017
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USA
I just want to say the obvious. Kindergarten friends don't always stay friends forever. Some humans just can't be respectful or nice. Life seems way more competitive in 2020 then it did in the 70s, I am that old. Leave competition and conversation about any competition for the events. Friends change kids grow up. Teach your daughter to pick others that she truly likes, girls who make her cry are not friends.

Side note some teachers take an interest in some students. Some teachers like and are knowledgeable about gymnastics. DD's sixth grade English teacher is a judge, has judged her many times at meets. She appreciates what a gymnasts sacrifices and secretively expresses to the gymnasts she teaches that she understands. Anyone not participating directly in this sport will have a hard time fully understanding what it requires from the athlete and the athlete's family.

I have really added nothing to this conversation I just wanted the OP to let go of her bad feelings and concentrate on the positive life brings.
 

cogymmom2dd

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Proud Parent
Feb 9, 2020
57
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USA
Is their nobody else in your DD's class or school that is also from the same gym as you?
Unfortunately, not really. Her older sister and 2 girls that are 2 years older. One is on level 6 with my oldest and the other practices with team but doesn’t compete.
There are multiple kids from our school district in the gym, but there’s 20 elementary schools so they are all spread out.
 

cogymmom2dd

Member
Proud Parent
Feb 9, 2020
57
Country
USA
Xcel viewed by most JO parents and gymnasts, is lesser. I personally believe that is not true and my daughter is proof.

Don't defend your decision/path. Enjoy it. If she works hard, she can beat those "friends" at school when she transitions over. Jeck she might even transition to L6 before they reach it in JO.
Thank you.
My oldest daughter is proof also. She is L6 competing level 7 skills. She did not do a year of L4 because they felt like it would be remedial for her. She started practicing a level up after her level 3 season because they found that she seemed bored and not challenged. This was also the year that there were not any compulsory levels, so they had her competing XCEL so that she could mature a little (she was 8 and practicing with level 6’s) and perfect some of the elements that she needs for JO optionals. She flourished on Gold- she had her own music, own routines, and did well. She transitioned most of her routines from Gold to L6 with just a few tweaks here and there (had to add Clear hip into her bars routine and instead of back walkover on beam, she added a handspring) and she is doing well this season.
And I also agree- this specific gym requires a minimum number of 36+AA meet scores before they move up despite USAG rules being lower than that for mobility. My oldest has a few school friends who are on their 2nd year of level 4. My guess is that the majority of my daughter’s friends will repeat level 3 next year, while she will move to Gold. They will be doing their first year of level 4 and she will likely be doing her score out meets to get to level 6.
 

bookworm

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Gold Membership
Proud Parent
Oct 3, 2009
3,160
On my couch either reading or doing nothing...
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Like most other posters , I think it’s best to keep your daughter’s gymnastics (levels, path and accolades) to yourselves... because other people really don’t care to hear it, especially if your daughter is always “winning “.

My girls were multi year level 10s who went to JO Nationals every year and did well there but at school, no one really knew the specifics... we’d hear from school mates how “our friend is so great etc, you must see them at meets” and we’d look on my meet scores and see they were either xcel or level 7 , which was fine but my point is , the general public thinks anyone doing a back handspring is going to the Olympics.

Folks at their school only realized how well they had done when my oldest signed her NLI for a full ride to compete D1 as , outside of our family and close friends, it wasn’t something we flaunted to others.
 

cogymmom2dd

Member
Proud Parent
Feb 9, 2020
57
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USA
Like most other posters , I think it’s best to keep your daughter’s gymnastics (levels, path and accolades) to yourselves... because other people really don’t care to hear it, especially if your daughter is always “winning “.
When it comes to school and friends, we have always done this. We have been in the competitive gymnastics world for 5 years and haven’t had issues like this until this year with my 2nd kid. My oldest is very private about her gymnastics life with her school friends and teachers. She has one friend who is on her second year of L4. They competed against each other at their level 3 state meet and congratulated each other at the end of the meet. My oldest has raw talent (so we’ve been told) and has been competing since she was 5. I have cousins with kids that are gymnasts living in different states along with most of my extended family that lives a few hours away. I have posted updates about meets since my 10 year old was level 2. Social media has always been the easiest platform to keep them updated— way before I was Facebook friends with parents of my 8 year old.
I guess I need to clarify this again... my daughter isn’t going to school wearing her medals saying how great her scores were. She doesn’t even wear her medals past her age group during the awards ceremony half the time. Our gym doesn’t go to the same meets as her friends, so on Monday mornings, they talk about their meet and that’s when the friends chime in and say she’s not a real gymnast. I will talk to her about not talking about scores or placement, just that she had fun, etc. to see if that changes the tone of the conversation.
I also should add that the announcing scores was suggested by the teacher, not me because she sees my daughter being singled out at times. She hasn’t even had a meet since the parent-teacher conference, so it never happened and won’t happen.
 

Sari

Coach
Coach
Former Gymnast
Gymnast
Judge
May 31, 2014
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Germany
Much has been said and great advice has been given. Here's my perspective as someone who was bullied in elementary school and had to learn the hard way that her "friends" were not worth fighting for but we're actually an overwhelmingly negative influence on her emotional well-being.

Kids can be cruel. It gets worse when parents get involved and start arguing with one another, especially on social media. Very few of the friends she makes at her age are still going to be her friends when she graduates high school.

This could be a learning opportunity for your daughter. You have every chance to be a sounding board and guide her through her feelings of pain, anger and disappointment. In the long term, it will be more helpful to have acknowledged her feelings and helped her process them rather than having picked a fight with the other kids' parents.
 

JustwhenIthought...

New Member
Proud Parent
Nov 18, 2018
9
Country
USA
There are some who would argue you're only "doing" gymnastics until you "become" a gymnast at L8,9,10/Gold,Plat. In which case all parents in this scenario are wrong....

I say that tongue in cheek, but will this matter in 5 years? nope....help your daughter rise above this by ignoring it. Time will iron this out. Most will be done in 5 years.
 

alattejavatoo

New Member
Former Gymnast
Oct 6, 2020
16
55
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USA
This is the typical “trash talk” that goes on in sports. It can be downright brutal in gymnastics. My coach taught me gymnasts only try to get into my head because they are “threatened” by me and we’re not confident in their training and for me to stay “in my bubble”. I(and my teammates) were not allowed to participate in this behavior because it was inappropriate and we were taught better.

This has stayed with me. When I run into this in the corporate world, not only does it not phase me but I find it amusing.
 
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