Parents Frustration abounds - crazy gym moms and DD had a rough meet!

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On repeat in my head right now: DD loves her gym. DD loves her gym. DD loves her gym.

So, a few girls in DD"s age group are injured. One of them is our best girl.

So they compete on Saturday. DD is not the strongest in her age group. Of 5 girls, she an another are pretty equal at #4 and #5. Average AA is usually about 35.


I sit next to one of the moms. She is all about scoring, scoring, scoring. When her DD gets a 9.2, she's upset and complaining about how poorly her DD did, "Wow, she's so off today."

OK.

So anyway - we start on vault. DD has her best meet vault ever. Scores 9.2. I'm ecstatic fo her. Next girl goes - scores 9.4.

Mom next to me comments that, see! Maybe we do have a chance at first again if she can score a 9.3! She goes on an on about how worried her DD supposedly is about not getting first, and you know, she's the only "good one" competing in our age group!

Uh - what?

I know DD isn't the strongest competitor, but she tries hard and loves the sport - and I'm sorry, but I don't think a average 35 AA is that terrible. Is it?

So DD moves on to bars - had her best routine I've ever seen, and naturally she peels off the bar @ dismount. It looked terrible - she sorta fell sideways on her ankle, then landed on her tush. Later even coach said she was sure DD broke her ankle. I was terrified for DD.

Mom next to me didn't say a word, and let out a frustrated sigh. None of the other moms around me even look at me.

Score is posted: DD gets 7.8 on bars. I'm panicking internally until I finally see DD get up.

DD goes on to actually finish the meet. 8.8's for beam and floor. Not bad considering her ankle is apparently a bit sore.

DD takes 14th overall and managed a trophy (last awarded place).

Team takes 2nd. Mom next to me not happy about it. Of course her DD took 1st AA, so, sigh, she did all she could do, and it's a good thing that one of the other girls will healed in time for the next meet.

Thankfully, one mom walked all the way over to me from the other end of the gym to make sure I was ok and to say she was proud of my DD for finishing the meet (as I was).

DD loves her gym. She loves her teammates. She loves competing.

I want to run away from it all. :(

Of course I won't.

But I have a hard time listening to them complain about the "weak gymnasts" on the team, and chatter incessantly about D1 scholarships.

Uh, our kids are in 2nd and 3rd grade.

I'm choosing to focus on the important parts where DD is ok and finished her meet. But it's hard when other people try to make you feel awful.
 
I avoid those kind of parents like the plague. They won't change and you should NOT let their psycho behavior ruin watching your DD compete. Sit elsewhere from now on!
 
YIKES!! is all that I can say :( If I were you, at the next meet I would sit as far away as I could from that entire group of parents. Enjoy watching you daughter compete and let the rest of those crazies worry about scores. UGH!!

I think it great that your daughter was able to finish the meet!! WTG and congrats to her : ) I am glad that her ankle is okay.

My daughter is a Level 9 and at this point I just hope that she makes it through the meet in one piece. Good scores are a bonus. LOL!
 
Totally deluded parents, next time make your excuses and move away quickly, don't look back!

Huge well done to your DD for carrying on with her sore ankle and the shock of that landing, with her attitude she'll probably still be there come level 7 and above, wonder how many of the current superstars will be? And yes, 35 is a decent score.

Most of the other parents that didn't look at you probably didn't realise that she could have been hurt, they probably felt bad for her and for you for her fall. That's a generous way of looking at it anyway.
 
Parents dislike girls that aren't good enough, girls that are too good, and girls that sometimes beat their girl. What would be ideal for most parents is for their girl to post a 38, the rest of the team to post 37.5's and for the other teams to post lower scores. Their girl wins, the team wins, and no one was any threat to their girl. Presumably, they'd also like for Marta to come to the meet to scout their girl.
 
First of all, congratulations to your dd for sticking it through and being mentally and physically tough. These are the moments we should all be the most proud of them.

I agree to try and avoid these parents, if possible. I also know it can be easier said than done but finding and sticking with a few parents that are positive and supportive of your dd will greatly help your experience.

Good luck, deep breaths and give you dd a big hug; it will make you feel sooooo much better :)
 
Hang in there! I remember watching my dd's first few L4 meets and realizing just how crazy some of the moms were and thinking "What have we gotten ourselves into?" I quickly learned where to sit and where not to sit at meets! Now, my dd is in optionals and I LOVE going to meets and hanging out with the other parents. We have the best time in the stands supporting each other and cheering for our girls. The crazy parents are long gone. It does get better!
 
So let me get this straight...from your description at the end of your post "DD age 8 (L4)" you're talking about Level 4 parents in this scenario? Let me laugh my head off right now because SO many level 4s won't even make to optionals, never mind hanging in there for "D1 scholarships"....the parent you describe are a dime a dozen in every gym (that's why the CGM/crazy gym mom moniker exists) and you just have to take a deep breath and keep your distance from them...in all the years we've been doing this, I rarely sit with other people from the gym at meets...mostly because I'm too nervous and wander all over the place but it has saved me many an idiotic comment by avoiding it altogether....and if the parent you reference thinks Level 4 dominance guarantees success, let us all laugh our heads off at that one because it just isn't so...
 
I agree to try and avoid these parents, if possible. I also know it can be easier said than done but finding and sticking with a few parents that are positive and supportive of your dd will greatly help your experience.

I totally agree. I also agree with gymtigermom above when she says that the crazies eventually weed themselves out. This, too, shall pass. In the meantime, bring a book or iPod with a headset to practice, and chat with only the non CGMs. :)
 
Thanks, everyone. Yes, these girls are all level 4s! Insane, isn't it?

The moms definitely knew she fell as I overheard one say to another that someone had gotten DD ice. But yes, I can pretend that they didn't. :)

Gah - clicked post too soon on my mobile. Anyway... part of the problem is that there is a definite heirarchy at the gym. Some girls are invited to tops. DD wasn't (was new to this gym last winter).
These girls scoring 9.5s should be, as they're actually training tops and level 5, whereas DD's group is 'just level 4'). So these parents' kids train an extra 4 hrs per week in much smaller groups, and are constantly told how wonderful their kids are. We have one combined practice, and there is a noticeable difference in the way they're coached. So - there's that, I guess. Maybe their attitudes just can't be helped. Next meet I definitely sit on my own!

I miss the moms from our old gym. :( (I know, cry me a river, right?). But there was just so much support.

Sorry for the typos - am on my mobile and in a hurry!
 
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I literally LOL'd when I got to the part about D1 scholarships when the kids are at least 10 years away from college and, if your sig is up to date, in level 4! You know these people are ridiculous, so just hold your head up high and try and get through the next few years. The good news is that if your DD sticks with it, people tend to chill out a bit once their kids hit the higher levels (with a few notable exceptions, of course, but you'll find those sorts of people in any sport). Gymnastics brings out the crazy in people but it usually peaks around level 4 or 5, after which the parents either get a bit more subdued or the kids move on to new sports.

Definitely don't sit with them next time though! Or bring someone with you to distract you from their horribleness. At least your DD is happy, and her scores are far from terrible, especially this early in the season.
 
Big hug to you and to your daughter - you sound like the kind off people I would want on my side in a crisis :)

My daughter plays a little bit of tennis, she's not that great at it, but sometimes makes the team for little local tournaments. She was invited to one where we quickly realised that most of the other players were much better, but she really wanted to play. First match up, she was being beaten soundly and then, running forward, she tripped and fell in to the net in front of everyone. She opted to carry on, but after that match she ran to me and cried in private and she had also hurt her finger (and her pride). I told her we could go home and the referee came across and asked her if she would like to sit the next game out. She said no to both and insisted on playing. She got up and she played really well.

LOL there's no fairy tale ending, she still lost. Tennis parents here are often hateful - pushy, competitive ughh! BUT I have never been so proud in my whole life as I was that moment and I can't imagine what would make me that proud again.

If you went home proud of your daughter you were so much better off than the ones who went unhappy with the result - nothing can be done for them, so just leave them alone and keep feeling proud.
 
So sorry you had to sit with a crazy mom. I try to walk into the stands for every sporting event my kids participate in last. That way I can scope the crowd and not sit with someone crazy. I'm fairly competitive and it's all I can do to not say something back to someone like that. I bring my iphone and just ignore others and celebrate my dd's progress knowing that she will rarely see the podium but that she loves this sport. I'm glad your dd had a good meet. To see this little one hop up and keep competing should make everyone around smile. Best of luck to her this season.
 
Time to become a picture/video taking mom. Gives you an excuse to move around and not sit with the other moms. This is crazy at any level but L4?! I am constantly moving at meets - because I'm too nervous but its a good excuse to get away when others are trash talking. I must say, this has happened much less as dd has gone up in levels. The CGM phase seems to only last a couple years around here.
 
I would recommend sitting away from these parents at the next meet. It's too bad, it seems like gymnastics seems to bring out the worst in parents. I have other kids in another sport, and I love the meets. We sit together and have a great time cheering for everyone's kid. It make everything so much more fun. It is a very straightforward sport, and everyone know who the best kids are, but everyone's goal is for each kid to get best times and to see personal improvement.

We haven't gotten to competition yet, just preteam, but as a parent I find the whole sport very stressful. Is DD going to be able to keep up? Will she get the skills or will she get left behind and her heart broken while her friends move on? Will they let her on the team in a year or two, or will they farm her out to XCEL because she's not good enough? My goal for her because she loves it is for her be be a happy, contributing member of the team. Pretty simple, but it take hours of practice and tons of agonizing over move ups, and lots and lots of money just to get to be on the team. Who in the world would even consider the thought of college scholarships for 8 year olds? That's not why my kids do sports. Those kids will crumble under the pressure their parents put on them, and will be out of the gym by age 12. Your daughter loves gymnastics and I bet will outlast them into the optional levels and have a great time as well. You should be proud of her. I would be thrilled this time next year with a seven year old competing as well as your DD did in Level 4. She's doing great.
 
The worst parents are at the compulsory levels, after that things are less crazy, though a few seems to creep through. I found sitting with the parents tedious as they knew too little and were indignant all the time. So I would sit with them initially and then say I needed to go to the bathroom and never go back. If they asked where I was I would say I didn't want to disturb people getting back to the seat. I would rather lean against the back wall that listen to some people go on about their kids.

When youngest was 9 and 10 she was with a great group of kids and their parents were wonderful, cheering for everyone, never mentioning scores, praise all around. That was so nice after the loons.

NOw we have cheer we don't even see the parents, I do not know who any of them are and so at meets we never sit together as we wouldn't even recognise them. Half the parents don't even bother going to the meets apparently!
 
I am so sorry you had the unfortunate experience of sitting next to that mom. I have met more than a few moms who are like this and in the 6 years that my girls have been in the sport I have learned to avoid that "type" like the plague. When my oldest DD was in L3 I had to hide in the leotard rack at the gym a few times to avoid the crazies. As many have said, these types of parents are the ones who are going to burn their daughters out way before they get that coveted D1 scholarship. I have seen it many times, the kids whose parents are the craziest are the ones that quit...even if they do have "talent". Attitude, perseverance, and support from a non-crazy gym mom will win out over "talent" many times...even if the "talented" ones are in the "better" group at practice or score 38's at L4. It all evens out. Take a deep breath and VOW to never sit anywhere near that woman again. And enjoy your next meet. Your daughter should be proud for finishing up that meet after falling. It shows she has perseverence which is one of those things that will keep her in for the long haul.
 
I'm so sorry the moms (or some moms) at your gym are like that. The moms at my dd's gym are my favorite part. We all cheer the successes of all the girls and are there with a kind word when they have a rough day. We support each other through the perils of this sport and support all the girls.

My dd had a rough start last year to her first competitive season (level 5). She drastically improved over the season and several moms came up to me and said how proud they were of her and how wonderful they thought she did.

A few of our girls (my dd included) are struggling with fear on different skills. We talk to each other about how best to support them.

I love our gym moms! :thumbsup:
 
For us last year was the peak of crazy gym moms. I tried to pick very carefully who I sat with but sometimes got stuck next to certain moms I would have preferred to avoid. It just ended up making me stressed and angry. I would much rather enjoy the meet on my own than listen to everyone vent about who knows what. You should be proud of your dd for continuing on with the meet, she bounced back very well.
 

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