Parents Gymnast with ADHD

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BridgetHelen

Proud Parent
Anyone else have a child with ADHD in gymnastics? I’m getting super frustrated.

My daughter is 10 and just now competed level 3. She started gymnastics at age 3, did a year, then went back when she was 5. She has been in gymnastics ever since. My frustration is due to the fact that she’s already 10 and hasn’t progressed much.

When she was 5, the gym owner shared that she thought my kid had amazing flexibility and strength, that she was a natural, but she couldn’t focus. She was finally placed on team at age 8 in our local league, level 1. She started the season taking 7th and 8th, I started her on meds, and then quickly jumped to placing 1st or 2nd. She competed level 2. Coach wanted to hold her back because of her lack of focus. At this point I’m like, my kid is 9 - no way. I took her to another gym and she competed level 3 this year.

Even when my kid takes meds, she is all over the place at the gym. She’s focused when it’s time to learn new skills, but when perfecting things, she is bouncing all over the place, talking, or dancing. Her maturity level is more similar to a 6 year old, though her intellectual level is much higher than a 10 year old.

The gym she’s at now is AMAZING. She went from not having a RBHS, front hip circle, vertical handstand, 1/2 turn on beam, etc. to placing in typically 2 events and AA at every meet this year. That being said, they stated she does not have her level 4 skills needed (she got her rbhs at this gym, but can not get the legs straight) to move up to 4, so they are putting her in Xcel gold. I’ve never heard positive things about that program, so my heart broke for her. I emailed the coaches and they think it will really be good for her because she can learn new skills when she has mastered others instead of working on perfecting things all year, so that should hold her attention better. She will also be with older girls.

I guess my question is - does anyone else have a kiddo like this? It makes me sad because she loves this sport and is good at it, she just can’t seem to understand that it’s not just about what she can do; her focus and behavior is important as well. She’s told me she “tries” to get straight legs but it “just happens” like her brain can’t catch up with everything she needs to do since it’s a newer skill. Does it ever get better? I’m just sad that I didn’t know any better and she wasted basically 5 years at a different gym that didn’t care to work with kids who weren’t incredibly easy to coach. She’s 10 and it’s not like she walked into the gym last week, she’s been doing this sport for 6 years.

I trust these coaches 110% and know they are making the best decision for my child, it just is rough because my girl really wants to move up and do 6-10 if she is able.
 
Hugs momma- my gymnast has adhd too, non-medicated, and gym is hard. School is hard. Everything is hard. That said, gym is better than most places- she manages to hyper focus most of the time. She does have trouble keeping all of her corrections going in motion. She knows the COP like that back of her hand- in theory, but can’t always keep it all correct for herself in practice. She is a much older gymnast, but she is an optional and is progressing. She’s also a team leader because all of that excess energy makes her the number one cheerleader for every other girl in the gym (boys too!).
 
It is so hard! Mine does really well most of the time in school, except for times when she thinks she is smart enough to get out of following the rules. She has straight As and is in fourth grade, reading/comprehending at a high school level. Idk what it is about at home and at gym! That reading comprehension makes me question whether she is choosing to not do things or if her brain truly can’t keep up with the minor details.
 
Mine does really well at school too. She’s gifted, so it’s still easy for her. She’s got a 5.0 in 11th grade. She’s just started therapy though and is considering medication. School just gets harder and harder and eventually everyone hits their wall where it isn’t easy anymore. Gym is actually fairly similar in that way.

It sounds like your DD is at a gym that is willing to work with girls as individuals. Maybe you could have a conversation with them asking if movement back to JO is possible in the future- then your DD can enjoy her Xcel experience knowing that the door is still open should time take her back that direction.
 
Can’t comment on the ADHD.

But don’t assume that Xcel is bad or a punishment. And everyone progresses at a different rate and path. And it sounds like she hascoa he’s and a place who can meet her where she is at.

Good luck.
 
Wow a 5.0, that’s amazing!!!!! Kiddos with ADHD are usually SUPER smart. Maybe my kid won’t get a gymnastics scholarship, but academic is a possibility. My girl did play therapy for a bit and loved it, that’s when we decided to medicate after the therapist’s recommendation. She was doing cartwheels through parking lots with cars flying by and didn’t think it was a problem lol, so it became a safety issue. Therapy is great for kids with ADHD and I say this as a therapist for children. I have a lot of answers for everyone else’s kids, but not for my own lol. I’ve thought about having her go back to therapy, but I’m a single parent and with the cost of gymnastics, it’s just not an option.

It sounds like the door is open to JO in the future, they have a level 8 that got there through Xcel while the other 8s got there through JO. I can’t say enough good things about this gym, I’m just beating myself up for putting my kid through the ringer for five years at a gym that didn’t care about her. I’m just so stuck on how she’s already 10, so she’s behind.
 
I’m just so stuck on how she’s already 10, so she’s behind.

Behind how?

Readjust your thinking perhaps......She is on her own path.

My kid is “behind” compared to many around here. Because she is not a high hour all gym all the time type of kid. It’s her path.

She isn’t going Div 1. And based on most folks opinion she should of been done a long time ago. But she is at a place that works for her.
 
I guess I just mean behind in terms of where she wants to be. She has stated multiple times that she wants to get up to level 10 and at age 10, and just having completed 3, that’s going to be difficult to pull off.
 
Wow a 5.0, that’s amazing!!!!! Kiddos with ADHD are usually SUPER smart. Maybe my kid won’t get a gymnastics scholarship, but academic is a possibility. My girl did play therapy for a bit and loved it, that’s when we decided to medicate after the therapist’s recommendation. She was doing cartwheels through parking lots with cars flying by and didn’t think it was a problem lol, so it became a safety issue. Therapy is great for kids with ADHD and I say this as a therapist for children. I have a lot of answers for everyone else’s kids, but not for my own lol. I’ve thought about having her go back to therapy, but I’m a single parent and with the cost of gymnastics, it’s just not an option.

It sounds like the door is open to JO in the future, they have a level 8 that got there through Xcel while the other 8s got there through JO. I can’t say enough good things about this gym, I’m just beating myself up for putting my kid through the ringer for five years at a gym that didn’t care about her. I’m just so stuck on how she’s already 10, so she’s behind.
There really isn’t a behind- in gym, in school, or in life. Everyone just is where they are on their own unique path. It sounds like your DD is at the best place for her now, so stop beating yourself up about the past.
 
Sounds like Xcel might be a good option for your child. You said she likes working on new skills, but not perfecting all the little details. If she stays in compulsories, she will have 2-3 more years of having to learn every single little detail of every routine. In Xcel she can work on variety of new skills and design her own routines to her strength.

My question would be how seriously does your gym take Xcel. Do they practice much lower hours? Do they have the same coaches as JO or some high schoolers assistant coaches? Do they compete in the same meets as JO? Etc.

My point is, if your gym has a good quality Xcel program, that will allow her to progress, and possibly allow her to go back to JO when she reaches optionals, that might not be a bad option for her.
 
It seems like the gym takes Xcel seriously. The main coach is a guy who coached competitive cheer for years and years. He also is the director of their tumbling program. My kid’s biggest struggle is floor, so I think he will be good for her. They have 3 other coaches as well for XG.


It’s required to do 4 hours a week for XG, but they recommend 6. My kiddo will be doing 6. Our gym is big on having less hours in the gym than other gyms in our area. Their teams still do well and they keep the girls non-stop moving. I think my girl got more out of less time at this gym than she ever did in level 2 at another gym and she was there more hours a week.

At level 3, my daughter did 4hrs and 40 mins. Level 4 does 7 hours. They also offer a skill clinic (kip or bhs) and one extra practice once a month, she attends all of those. That’s all optional. Those give her another 3.5 hours a month. She can continue to attend in XG, it’s open to all team members regardless of whether they are JO or Xcel.

They compete in 6 meets; JO level 3s and 4s do 7. Their meets are just more local whereas JO travels more. My kid is all about the meets and the travel, so that’s the biggest downside in her view. But hey, it will save me money I guess. Haha.
 
It sounds like your daughter is a place that will suit her well and give her opportunities and meet her where she is at.
So as MILgymFam says, don't beat yourself up.
 
I think she is! Thanks, I’ll try not to! It just makes me super sad over how she was probably emotionally beat down for five years when this gym has made her love the sport again. I just didn’t know any different.
 
My 8 year old has ADHD. I made a post similar to this not too long ago. She struggles. And as your daughter, she can focus when being challenged to learn a new skill but doesn’t have the concentration to perfect a routine down to all the little tiny things that need to be perfectly clean. We JUST started her on meds and it has improved things but it hasn’t been a magic fix. If your daughter is still struggling to focus at gym, maybe a medication adjustment is the answer? I am not sure but I can 100% empathize with you because my daughter is the same way. Immature but so smart. Incredible natural talent for gymnastics but no patience to perfect a routine that she has already done hundreds of times. She just did level 1 this year and is now going to level 3.
What about private lessons to help her achieve the skills she is having trouble with? My daughter has done a couple private and does better because there is less distractions during a private. Good luck to you and your daughter.
 
I know, I know. It’s just hard to not feel super guilty and wonder what all she went through/how much better it could have been for her. She didn’t tell me much, but I heard about how she was treated from the parents of other girls who left the gym in tears because they were sad for mine. I am just thankful she’s finally at a place where they don’t treat her ADHD as a burden to the coaches.
 
I can see also how it disappointing to be placed in Xcel when her goal is level 10. But Xcel might be a good place for her at the moment to upgrade skills and focus on her strengths. Hopefully your gym has an Xcel program with enough hours and experienced coaches that will allow her to progress at a fast enough rate to achieve her goals. Maybe after a couple of really good years in Gold/Silver she will be ready for optionions when she is 12 or 3?! Just keep believing in her and pushing her to do her best even if that means she has to work harder than most people.
 
My 8 year old has ADHD. I made a post similar to this not too long ago. She struggles. And as your daughter, she can focus when being challenged to learn a new skill but doesn’t have the concentration to perfect a routine down to all the little tiny things that need to be perfectly clean. We JUST started her on meds and it has improved things but it hasn’t been a magic fix. If your daughter is still struggling to focus at gym, maybe a medication adjustment is the answer? I am not sure but I can 100% empathize with you because my daughter is the same way. Immature but so smart. Incredible natural talent for gymnastics but no patience to perfect a routine that she has already done hundreds of times. She just did level 1 this year and is now going to level 3.
What about private lessons to help her achieve the skills she is having trouble with? My daughter has done a couple private and does better because there is less distractions during a private. Good luck to you and your daughter.

We are in the process of adjusting meds. That’s been a nightmare in and of itself. She has a short acting pill she takes in the afternoon for gymnastics and it’s a super super low dose. 10mg and she takes 20mg in the day. This is after we adjusted from 5mg which did nothing. We had to go through 5-6 different meds before figuring out what worked for her. Stimulants in level 1 made her lose weight and she’s already underweight. Non-stimulants made her a zombie and she chose to lay on the floor for like 3 months in level 2 and basically do nothing. Of course that coach didn’t communicate that with me. Went back to a different stimulant for daytime which now needs to be increased as does the afternoon pill.

She did privates at the old gym - waste of money IMO bc coach had her working a bhs there with a spot, but made her do round offs in practice bc she was too lazy to coach my kid. I don’t think our gym now does privates. She did do multiple bhs clinics and extra practices, which is where she got the bhs. She’s doing kip clinics now, I’d like her to still do bhs clinic but they are the same day/time.

Good luck to you and your girl on meds!!
 
I can see also how it disappointing to be placed in Xcel when her goal is level 10. But Xcel might be a good place for her at the moment to upgrade skills and focus on her strengths. Hopefully your gym has an Xcel program with enough hours and experienced coaches that will allow her to progress at a fast enough rate to achieve her goals. Maybe after a couple of really good years in Gold/Silver she will be ready for optionions when she is 12 or 3?! Just keep believing in her and pushing her to do her best even if that means she has to work harder than most people.

Yes, it totally felt like she was basically getting the “you’re not good enough” type of thing which killed me. But these coaches know their stuff and they care about her, so I’m now kinda excited to see what she’ll do. I know they care most about her success and happiness, so trying to look at it positively. Just didn’t know if anyone else 1) had a kiddo w ADHD that is struggling and 2) moved from JO to Xcel. So I had quite the rant lol!
 
Yes, it totally felt like she was basically getting the “you’re not good enough” type of thing which killed me. But these coaches know their stuff and they care about her, so I’m now kinda excited to see what she’ll do. I know they care most about her success and happiness, so trying to look at it positively. Just didn’t know if anyone else 1) had a kiddo w ADHD that is struggling and 2) moved from JO to Xcel. So I had quite the rant lol!
My daughter is in JO but I always wonder if she will ultimately end up in Xcel because of her ADHD. Remind your daughter that Simone Biles had ADHD. She CAN achieve her goals. If she works her butt off she can still go back to JO assuming the gym allows it.
 

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