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For Parents Help how do you deal with this??

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Monkeygirlsmom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Feb 10, 2007
764
Hello!
I have not been on here for a long time Sorry about that!
life has been soo hectic and such we are in the go all the time and new baby is making less time for puter cause Id rather hang out with her!!LOL

anyhow I just got the letter about my girls oldest dd is staying on Preteam and younger dd is getting moved up to level 4 (yea toher) I just feel so bad for oldest dd I do agree with her staying in preteam as she doesnt have the skills younger dd has but its so hard seeing the younger one go ahead of older one!
What can I do do help he rto move up

she is going to gymnastics camp this summer I am soo hoping it helps!
 

gymmomntc2e6

Moderator/Proud Parent
Aug 25, 2007
2,842
North Carolina
I would start by encouraging her to continue to try her best. Explain that everyone learns different things at different paces. Some things that may come easy for younger DD may be harder for her and some things that come easy for her may be harder for younger DD.

Let her know that everyone is different and it is ok to just be her and to concentrate on her and not her sister, her sisters skills etc. She should set goals for herself (and not goals like "get my kip before my sister" or whatever). To use progress towards her goals not comparing herself to her sister as her guide. We have a couple sets of sisters on our team. One set the younger one is a level ahead of the older. They seem to do fine. If you would like me to ask the mom for any advice I would be happy to.

I think I am repeating myself but just honor the individual. no comparing one to the other. compare her to herself -" last practice I did my mill circle 4 out of 10 tries, this practice 6 out of 10 I am getting better. "

hope some of that ramble was useful :p
 

Monkeygirlsmom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Feb 10, 2007
764
Thank you! that is one thing I know we are good about it making sure each knows they are not the same! and each have there strenghts and wekanesses!!

we just talked to them and told them whats up I pointed out the things that will make those nights more fun when she is not in the gym and younger dd is
I talked to her about maybe making a "workout" night to help her strenthg
like takig walks just the 3 of us (baby dd too) and poss daddy so it will be about her giving her the special time she deservs! I did tell her she still can move up in the fall but for now she will keep working on the basics and that is a GREAT thing

she looked sad but them realised all the poss of this and such and did seem happy for younger dd (she is such a GREAT kid and Im soo proud to be her mom since she is a great sport_
 

Gymmonkeymomma

Active Member
Proud Parent
Mar 7, 2008
1,991
Region 7
Country
USA
I'm glad your dd understands and is looking at the positives, and being happy for her sister. We are constantly dealing with this, my oldest is L8 but the little one is moving up and will likely catch her in the next yr or 2. Meanwhile, little monkey has had a phenomenal year, which was one of the points of keeping her back-to give her time to grow and mature, and to perfect some skills. It's hard when 2 are in the same sport and the younger one happens to excel more than the older. Good luck to both of your girls!
 

mariposa

Proud Parent
Proud Parent
Sep 25, 2007
3,529
Country
USA
I would just keep doing what you are doing. Sadly, this happens sometimes. Maybe talk to her about how some people have natural ability for certain things, but that doesn't mean that if you don't have that that you can't do something you love. Hard work and dedication goes a long way.

Maybe show her videos of Crystal and Lizzy (eufricon on YouTube, but do it quick, videos are possibly coming down) and how Lizzy is younger, higher level, but Crystal has worked really hard and is doing great herself. Maybe Eufricon will chime in on this. :)

I would tell your oldest that if she really loves gymnastics, she should just focus on her own strengths and go for it. We are all different. It is harder when it is your younger sibling that is moving along faster than you, but it will always be an issue with friends in the gym as well and they need to learn quickly that you can only progress on your own timeline. You can only compare yourself to yourself.

Here are some links I had found for gymmonkeymomma a few weeks back. Maybe you will find something useful in them.

Bell TrueFit - FamilyEducation.com
Sibling Rivalry in Sports - FamilyEducation.com
 

Panda-girl's Mom

Active Member
Jan 9, 2008
781
That is difficult, how far behind is the older one. Is there anything she can do like extra classes to catch up to her sister. How did the gym handle this I hope they were sensitive to your older daughters feelings. I had a similar situtation with my girls but I was lucky in that my oldest decided to focus on other things besides gymnastics she does swimming and dancing. Maybe you can sign up your older daughter for another sport or activity that she can shine on her own. If she still loves gymnastics she can continue with this also. I think dance is a good activity and it complements gymnastics well.
 

Monkeygirlsmom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Feb 10, 2007
764
The gym had sent email letters to me (1 for each girl) .
They did not say anything to any child just sent us the email (they did tell us they were coming)

I will def be cheking into those sights I want to make sure I let younger dd get the chance to be excited but yet show her that its ok to be excited and such but she needs to be respectful
I did tell oldest dd that she works so hard and that someday who knows she will bypass but who cares Im just glad she is so excited about the sport and how good it is for her body to be active and how proud of her I am that she has such passion that she wants to stay on!
She is the best kid I swear I am very lucky mama!

oh yea they are almost 2 years apart in age and only 1 level diffenerce (preteam and now Level 4) oh yea the letter did say they will be reevaluated and could poss change at he end of the summer so this is all a trial basis only!!


I am soo hoping Camp does dd good!!
 

monkeymom

New Member
May 14, 2009
10
I think you have the right attitude about this--what matters is that they are both still having fun! Also, this will probably worry you more than it worries the girls.

Another thing I have noticed that might be true with your oldest--Sometimes my DD can take longer to learn a skill than her teammates, but when she gets them, they are usually very good technically and need little correction.

Wishing them both the best this summer!
 

Monkeygirlsmom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Feb 10, 2007
764
thanks monkeymom

that is soo true when she gets the skill they are soo gorgoes pointed toes strat legs etc

and yes I think its harder on me more than anything cause I just adore her
 

FlipsLeos

Member
Jul 26, 2008
111
I'm in a similar situation - older dd is staying on L3 and younger dd (6) has joined her there. Younger dd is seriously going to kick her sister's butt!!

I don't know your daughters, but I have talked to my older one about her sister. Older dd is more about having fun - she just wants to enjoy herself, whereas younger dd wants to WIN - so I'm HOPING it may continue to not be TOO much of an issue. I'm just going to follow her lead and deal with whatever comes up when it comes up, and not stress in the meantime. I don't want to have to say "Look, your sister works her butt off to do this and you just play", but it may come down to that come meet season, I dunno. I'm sure I'll be back asking for advice then!
 
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flippymonkeysmom

Guest
And one thing that may be a blessing in disguise is that they won't be competing against each other. Even though it will be tough on your older dd seeing her little sister move up before her, in the long run it might work better having them not have to compare to each other at every meet.
 

Monkeygirlsmom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Feb 10, 2007
764
thats very true!
all along I have been pointing out why each are diff and that each one has diff strenths and weaknesses! I want them to learn that is ok to have one be better at one thing since the other can be better at another!

they are diff and that I would be board if they were the same I love that each child is there own person (Tho I admit younger dd I get soo frustrated with)
 
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