Helping a gymnast deal with disappointments

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Pickle's Mom

After an overall successful season, Pickle’s final two meets didn’t go as well as she hoped they would. There were high points, but there were also falls on skills that she had previously done very well. Neither of these meets was a complete disaster (she was over 36 AA at both). But she didn’t live up to her own standards.

At yesterday’s meet, after a fall on bars (which is usually her strongest event) she was pretty much inconsolable. This was her last event at her last meet of the season. All night she just looked dejected and beaten down. Finally I let her take a candlelit bath and cuddle in bed with me and she seemed a lot better.

She needs to get through a fall at a meet without tears. How do I help her with this? My heart was just breaking for her last night.

Any advice is appreciated.
 
I found that making some goals before the meet, that are clearly possible for her, really helped take the pressure off thinking about falls, scores and crazy judges. I think when they focus so much on not falling or on the scores that they lose focus on the real reason they are there. It is also very easy to celebrate after a meet when those goals are achieved, and that always takes the sting out of not doing so well. If she does do well, celebrating goes along with it.

After every meet we celebrate all the things that went right over an oreo McFLurry, the only time I will ever stop at MD's, and my girls love that time in the car, relaxing, eating junk and just letting go.
 
Havning a bad event or a bad meet is tough and EVERY gymnast goes through it. My dd's coach usually tells them to not dwell on what happened. She always asks them if they can stop time and redo their mistakes and they always end up shaking their heads no and crack a little smile. I think that helps put things in perspective for them. Coach always tries to emphasize the positive as well and if they have a fall or a bad event she wants them to get over it quickly so they can finish out the meet strong.

Dani has had many meets where she was reduced to tears at times, but she quickly shook it off, got over it and ended up finishing the meet strong. I always emphasize the positives and what went well for her also because there is ALWAYS something that they did well or improved on. The weaker moments are just acknowledged as things to work on in practice back at the gym--no big deal.

And ice cream or treats after meets always help cheer kids up :)
 
Love Bog's idea about setting goals not related to scores, etc. before the meet. I find that talking alot about how even Elite gymnast fall on events helps a LOT--they can see no one is perfect.
 
Doing badly at competitions is an important part of growing as a gymnast and as a person, its good for her to deal with disappointment from time to time. The way a lot of kids lives are now, especially these comps where they give out so many medals, many kids reach their adult years and have never experienced a disappointment and its much harder to learn how to cope with as an adult.

Its important for kids to learn that sports and life are going to be like that, some days you will do better than others. Sometimes it will be someone else's turn to shine.

Not doing well is also one of the worlds best motivators. If she always walked away from a meet happy with how she did, then she would not be as motivated to return to the gym and work even harder.
 
Like Bog said, my dd sets a goal for each meet, not score related. This past season she had a fairly packed beam routine and it seems every meet she fell on 1 element. She ended up getting injured and only competed 4 meets this season and she was able to at the last meet compete a full beam routine without a fall, which made her happy.

I also tell my dd that 1 gymnastics meet does not define if you are good gymnast either. You can let it get to you, great gymnasts have the ability to move on.
 
if i have a bad attitude after a fall it just carries over into the next event for me. finally i realized that its no big deal and i'm still going to have plenty more meets in my life. once i realized that i didnt have a fall for the rest of the season!
 

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