WAG Holding Back a Gymnast

[curikat]

This is a question for coaches and/or parents that have similar experiences:

We come from a very small gym that only has a few optional gymnasts. Our club has developed several through Level 9, but most quit about this stage. Currently, we have 1 level 6 and 1 level 7, but we have about 15 that are coming up. HC has told ALL the girls that some will go Level 6 and some will go Level 7 and some will score out of Level 7 and go to Level 8. Ages range from 8-14. The gymnasts that seem to be closest to the Level 8 skills are 8/9 years old. Current optional gymnasts are 11 and 14. These last couple of weeks, our optional gymnasts seem to be concerned about these little ones 'passing' them. A parent has even discussed this with the HC and reported back to the parent deck that ALL new optional gymnasts WILL be Level 6. Granted this contradicts what I have been told personally and is mostly heresay, my question is: Will or should a coach hold one gymnast back for the benefit of another? If the 8/9 year olds are 'held back,' how would you as a parent accept this? If they are not, how would you as parents of the girls that are 'passed' feel?

 

[wallinbl]

Are the inmates running the asylum?

 

[Deleted member D3987]

i concur ^^^

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

I don't think anyone should be held back from any level they truly need to be at out of consideration for others.
If my kid was one of the ones passed by.... I can't say it wouldn't sting a little (I'm human) BUT I do realize realistically that all gymnasts develop at different rates and some kids are just better than others.
There are girls in my daughters L4team that will most certainly hit skills and develop faster than my dd, some are younger than her. They are simply better gymnasts than she is and that's OK, I'm proud of her for working hard and being the best she can be. She passed by a few girls who were older than her and had been in TOPs/preteam longer... They are in L3. *shrug*

 

[aerials]

Does this mother have a vested interest in the new optional girls going to level 6 and being held back? If so maybe she is just saying what she hopes will happen instead of what the coach really is planning.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

Oh, and if my kid was truly held back to spare someone else's feelings... I would not be happy.
Unless my child is being blatantly ignored and overlooked, I trust the coaches to place her where she belongs. I will be genuinely happy for the younger, better gymnasts when they go to optionals before my dd, they deserve it and I would certainly not want them held back to spare dds feelings. I'm sure the team will fluctuate and kids will be in different levels soon enough, as they should be. It's naive to think they will all stay together or develop and move at the same speed....

 

[curikat]

Sure feels like the innmates are running things! Not sure what the mom's intentions are other than sparing her dd some feelings (which I completely understand.) We will support whatever the coach decides, but I was just wondering some thoughts.

 

[gasrgoose]

All you can do is evaluate the situation for your child and then decide if you are at the correct gym. Gym X will be perfect for Suzie but not a good fit for Sally. One thing for sure is you WILL NOT CHANGE anything about the current gym. Don't get caught up in what others think or how their kid is doing. Talk with your child about their goals or reasons they like gymnastics and evaluate the gym. We did this in the fall and realized we needed to leave. It was difficult because of relationships with parents, coaches and gymnasts. But 3 months later it is more obvious that we made the right move for her. Ultimately my 10 year old said " I think it is time for a new gym". That's a big decision for a little girl and we helped her see the differences but I was extremely proud of her for making the decision. And what a life lesson it was and continues to be!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

An athlete should be moved up when they have mastered the necessary skills. EVERY year we have little ones passing up older ones (we meaning the entire coaching staff of the universe). Obviously the gym is doing something correct with coaching. Simply put, some kids are just faster learners and are often put together. So,,,, what to say to parent who's kid is getting passed up? Nothing really, except girl A has the skills and girl B does not. Lastly, I doubt a coach would hold a kid back for the sake of others... Perhaps the younger ones are not ready to pass up the older ones? The old saying applies, it's not a race it's a marathon.

 

[gymgal]

Are the inmates running the asylum?

ditto

Folks need to just take care of their own gymnast and not worry other girls. We are so ingrained to the notion that everyone progresses at the same rate and moves up at the same time (thank you, schools). It simply isn't true and parents/coaches need to make sure they communicate this with their gymnasts.

My dd skipped a level a couple years ago. There was a little complaining with some of the parents during the decision process, particularly because my dd was not among the highest scoring but her skills were more advanced, which was a key point in moving up. But once the final decision was made, everything settled down.

On the flip side, if I were the parent of the 8yr old child that the coaches are looking to move up to 8, I would want to discuss it with the HC to determine what their thoughts are. Assuming they are not looking toward elite, it seems to a little over top to push an 8yr old to L8. Even if she has to repeat 2 levels, you are still looking at 6+ yrs at level 10 if she continues through high school. I would be especially concerned if it was questionable whether the child would have a successful L8 year (at least middle of the road scores). Why not let the girls have a great L7 year while uptraining the skills for L8/9? Not saying that as a parent I wouldn't allow it. I just would want more info on the thought process.

 

[MaryA]

On one hand, yes, I believe that girls should be at the level that is the best fit for them, regardless of whether that means reapeating a level, moving up a level, or skipping a level. On the other hand, I have learned to take the edicts that filter down to me through my gymnast with a grain of salt. I don't disbelieve that the coach TOLD them that they won't be moved to level X or be able to compete bars or WHATEVER till they get skill Y. But I'll believe the follow-through when I see it. I actually believe very strongly in following through on both your threats and your promises to children (Following through on a threat that, in retrospect, I wish I hadn't made is one of the hardest parts of parenting! "I know I said you couldn't go to your sleepover if you didn't clean your room, but Daddy and I were planning on going OUT tonight!"), but neither of the gyms my daughter has trained at seem to have that same philosophy. So my advice to you is, don't worry about it till it happens. If it does happen and you feel like your daughter is not placed in a level that is a good fit for her, THEN ask the coach about it.

 

[gymdog]

Lastly, I doubt a coach would hold a kid back for the sake of others... Perhaps the younger ones are not ready to pass up the older ones? The old saying applies, it's not a race it's a marathon.

I agree. I would take the parent who reported back with a grain of salt, but I would find it fairly odd that a gym with the history and if the size you describe would have multiple 8/9 year olds ready for level 8. Even huge gyms with hundreds of kids on team rarely have multiple 8 and 9 year olds move to level 8 in a given year so I'm just saying that would be strange and I wouldn't get my hopes up.

 

[curikat]

This is really the inception of the gyms fast-track program. These younger girls have been training 20+ hours per week for about a year now. They will be home-schooled next year. Some of them very well maybe ready for Level 8, but like some have said, I'll believe it when I see it. They also have a full 9 months of training before any of them compete at their new levels. There is alot of talent in these groups. I personally don't know what I want for my DD, but I feel fairly certain that she is not mature enough to be an upper, upper level gymnast. I do feel that she still needs someone to look up to. She still needs someone to walk that path ahead of her. Thanks for all the thoughtful replies. I really appreciate everyone that took the time to weigh in.

 

[Fliptwisttumble]

Little kids passing big kids is often hard for many people to swallow..... The teens who the little kid crept up on and possibly passed, the parents of the kids who didn't get moved up in the same fashion, the girls the same age that got left behind.

People (not coaches), don't understand why. They don't often see the subtle differences, nor understand the path the coaches are planning for the kid. And it's no use trying to explain - they often don't want to hear.

So they hear what they want, and decide what they want. And a few of the very bold will suggest that it isn't best for "the group" to move the young child up. Hopefully the gym and coaches though don't bow to requests from these types of parents, if the young child with the potential, and the parents of the child are on the same page as the coaches.

Been there. Done that.

 

[iwannacoach]

Ages range from 8-14. The gymnasts that seem to be closest to the Level 8 skills are 8/9 years old. Current optional gymnasts are 11 and 14.

I think it improbable, or at the least quite rare, that an eight or nine year old gymnast who's close to L8 skills has ever been held back. I also doubt the coach will begin holding them back now.

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

I wound not be upset about more children 'catching up' to my child, that means more team mates/supporters and scores for the team at competitions.

 

[gymgal]

I wound not be upset about more children 'catching up' to my child, that means more team mates/supporters and scores for the team at competitions.

and more experience for the coaches training the higher levels before my child got there

 

[gracyomalley]

Some go fast, some go slow - some go fast/slow/fast over the years...kids that young and training that hard may be ready - my only worry would be that the kids/parents/coaches have a clear idea of what they are trying to achieve by moving young ones that quickly - and that the coaches have experience training kids at L10/elite level - or why set up a "fast track" as you call it....otherwise that many hours at that young an age will only lead to burn out/injuries.

On the other hand, I hate the idea of holding back kids for the teams sake...I know that coaches would like to say it doesn't happen - but it does...in order to "win state" or not have too many meet sessions with only one kid/training groups with only one kid, etc...this is reality for some small gyms...doubt it would happen because of parent pressure, however...and there are many coaches who will "sit" kid in a lower level because of age - if the kid isn't heading elite, then this is actually a good idea - let them train up, have fun and be in it for the long haul...

At DD gym the "best" level 8s this year are the youngest - and the only ones likely to move to L9....we'll see if they do. Every kid on the team knows it and is supportive of them, and all the parents also realize these kiddos are talented, driven and supportive of the rest of the team. They are also 10/11 this year - and our coach has trained L10/elite before...and they will top off at 20 hours a week (give or take a few privates). Both hope for college gym - neither looking elite at this point. Happy, healthy well rounded girls....