WAG How should a parent handle a difference of opinion with a coach? When to change gyms?

[JessMom]

I'm creating a team parent guide book and want to include a section about the correct way to handle a problem with a coach, disagreement with placement etc and making the decision to change gyms.

I'm interested in others thoughts on the subject. What do you think a new or even veteran team parent should know or think about when faced with disagreements or concerns being unanswered?

 

[cbifoja]

My big one would be talk to the coach before you talk to another gym parent. It will save so much ill will.

ETA: a gym change because of conflict/opposing opinion should really be a last resort. I don't think it lends credibility to hair flip your way through all the gyms in town.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I'm creating a team parent guide book and want to include a section about the correct way to handle a problem with a coach, disagreement with placement etc and making the decision to change gyms.

I'm interested in others thoughts on the subject. What do you think a new or even veteran team parent should know or think about when faced with disagreements or concerns being unanswered?

==
Well, I don't know if I would put a section about making a decision to change gyms in the team handbook. Other than that, keep it simple. The handbook should say, "talk to the coach at an appropriate time". Meaning, not at the christmas party, or banquet or at a meet....

 

[Natasha]

I don't think you can stress enough the importance of talking to the coach (rather than venting in the lobby!) And, the best way to contact the coach- at some gyms it is very hard to reach the coaches- do you call, e-mail, leave a note at the front desk?
Also, it wouldn't hurt to point out to parents that coaches are very busy and do not have lots of time to chat about everything- so when you do meet with a coach make sure it is not during practice times and be respectful of their time. I know parents who will monopolize the coaches time about every little thing.

 

[aileenmaryf]

I'm an assistant high school gymnastics coach, and I know our policy is that if there is a problem at a meet that a parent wants to discuss they have to wait 24 hours until they talk to us about it. That way, both sides can take a step back and think about it. Otherwise people can get very 'in the moment'.

 

[iwannacoach]

If you should feel the need to talk with the coach about a problem, consider that problems often take weeks to become apparent, and may take weeks of the coaches attention to resolve. That's not to say that communicating with the coaches in not welcome, but it's best to limit yourself to letting the coach know about changes in your child's physical and emotional health.

Please note: Your child will come home frustrated or upset with things that take place in the gym. Help your child process what happened to frustrate or upset her and avoid hitting the panic button, as gymnastics requires trying, trying, and trying again, which means frustration, determination, and eventual success.

 

[mumoftwogymnasts]

Please note: Your child will come home frustrated or upset with things that take place in the gym. Help your child process what happened to frustrate or upset her and avoid hitting the panic button, as gymnastics requires trying, trying, and trying again, which means frustration, determination, and eventual success.

^^^^ Such good advice, and before you do anything, vent to another parent, ring the coach, email the coach - let your gymnast sleep on it, so often what was a drama the night before when they were tired, hungry and stressed is not such a big deal the next morning.

 

[profmom]

I'm an assistant high school gymnastics coach, and I know our policy is that if there is a problem at a meet that a parent wants to discuss they have to wait 24 hours until they talk to us about it. That way, both sides can take a step back and think about it. Otherwise people can get very 'in the moment'.

This is an excellent idea to implement for discussing ANY disappointing outcome with ANYONE.

 

[NorCalGymMom]

Okay, but how can you prevent a coach from taking out their anger on your child? I mean, most of the times I've seen problems, it boils down to maturity, and the coaches lack of it. I wouldn't want to talk to the coach only to have my child suffer for it.
For example, my DD's team just lost a coach to a new gym. The new-replacement coach (who has "helped out" in the past) spends half of practice yelling at the girls to listen to her. If she sets them up on a circuit and they have to ask half way through, "what do we do here?" She will have them sit out it do push-ups for not listening. My DD is six. She's doing the best she can.
So, if I talk to the coach about it, am I just opening myself up for harsher punishments on her?

 

[ZJsMom]

Okay, but how can you prevent a coach from taking out their anger on your child? I mean, most of the times I've seen problems, it boils down to maturity, and the coaches lack of it. I wouldn't want to talk to the coach only to have my child suffer for it.
For example, my DD's team just lost a coach to a new gym. The new-replacement coach (who has "helped out" in the past) spends half of practice yelling at the girls to listen to her. If she sets them up on a circuit and they have to ask half way through, "what do we do here?" She will have them sit out it do push-ups for not listening. My DD is six. She's doing the best she can.
So, if I talk to the coach about it, am I just opening myself up for harsher punishments on her?

Often it's how you approach it. With your example, I think you could talk about it without accusing the coach of yelling or being inappropriate. You could say something like "as a 6-year old, my dd isn't always able to process and remember multi-step instructions, but she wants to be able to do the right thing at practice. Is there some way you could break down the instructions, or give her reminders so she can follow through?"

For the original poster, I think the team handbooks should cover roles and how and when to approach the coaches. It's probably the coaches who should be giving you the lead on what their policies are.

I agree with the poster who said changing gyms probably isn't an appropriate topic for a team handbook.

 

[Short Balding Guy]

==
Well, I don't know if I would put a section about making a decision to change gyms in the team handbook. Other than that, keep it simple. The handbook should say, "talk to the coach at an appropriate time". Meaning, not at the christmas party, or banquet or at a meet....

+1. The success of every coach is in a big part determined by the effectiveness of their communication with their athletes/clients. Knowledge and organization skills coupled with communication skills are reflected in the performance and growth of their athletes. Most coaches who have been around for a while have been market selected (or in the negative less skilled coaches weeded out).

Please check and collaborate with gym owners/management. Good idea, but it is a hard document to put together. By definition it is a "guide," and should not attempt to cover all specific situations.

Best in your efforts,SBG -