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How to monitor phones

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by LindyHopper, Nov 19, 2017.

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  1. Hey all!

    Short Stack (11 years old) and her twin brother got phones today. They just passed a babysitter verification course, they walk to and from the middle school, and they got straight As during the 1st quarter of 6th grade, so we figured it was time.

    I trust them, but I don't trust the rest of the world. What apps do you use to monitor your children's phones? Why did you choose that app, and what do you like about It?

    Thanks for the feedback.
    txgymfan likes this.
  2. By the way, they are LG k20 phones
  3. Not sure what it is called, but SM has an app that she can see GPS location of YG and OG's phones at all times.
    She used it a week ago to "bust" YG at a gas station when she was supposed to be at a friend's house. lol.
  4. Dang!
    raenndrops likes this.
  5. I don’t use an app but she is not allowed to delete texts until I delete them and I have her login for Instagram And Snapchat and monitor those daily.

    Also, I have YouTube restrictions set as well as internet restrictions on her phone which only allows websites I have approved to open up.

    So far this has been effective.
    GymMom4 likes this.
  6. I understand that I'm really late to this thread but my family uses a feature called Mycircle. I think it connects to our wifi router. It has an app where you can add whatever electronic your kids have and you can choose the appropriate age group for the owner of whatever device you are filtering. You can literally turn off the wifi for dinner. It shows when your kid is using the wifi so you don't have to worry about late-night texting and whatnot. It even has a timer to minimize the amount of time you want your kids on their phones! It's super cool! :):):)
    BachFlyer and kecks like this.
  7. german teacher here teaching year 5 to 12: do not monitor. trust your kids. they have a right to have personal space. use kids filters setting for youtube and the like if you think it is really necessary (with a smart kid age 11 with no special needs i would not do that). talk to them, teach them to come to you if anything strange pops up or seems to be fishy. staying in touch and talking about what they do with their phones and what xy that to z there should be enough. maybe model right behavior by letting them watch you doing things with your phone and do things on tehir phone together sometimes. if you think they can not do that for now - no phones with internet access (so no whatsapp and the like), just sms and calling. most kids get full functioning phones here around year 6.
    sun and MILgymFAM like this.
  8. oh, and we recommend the turn wifi off for the night and meal times thing here. works wonders for the adults, too :)! also wifi time is a great privilege to work with if homework gets done sloppy or not at all...
    sce likes this.
  9. I always ruled no phones in bedrooms ever. Adults too. Phones were plugged in to charge in the living room overnight. No phones at the dinner table, or whilst eating. Mine did not get one until the were 14 or so, but I think if I gave one to a tween I would allow them to use it when they were out of the house only. I would not monitor their stuff, just have a lot of talks about social media safety etc.
    kecks, BachFlyer and strawberries like this.
  10. My almost-11-year-old sixth-grader doesn't have a phone yet but does have web access, texting, and e-mail on her WiFi devices. These privileges were granted gradually as she showed readiness. We don't use monitoring software, but she is on notice that I may pick up her device and read her communications at any time. I rarely do this. She is not permitted to interact on line with any child that we do not know in real life, or with any adult outside our extended family (except official communications with teachers through an app the school requires kids to use). She is also forbidden to sign up for any type of account without approval or to comment on web pages. The devices generally live in her school backpack and are charged downstairs, not in her bedroom.

    We have been having conversations about internet safety and the reliability of information on the internet for years, ever since she started using internet-based resources for research in the second grade. She is a mature, thoughtful kid with lofty goals for her teen and adult years, and she seems to understand why we don't want her creating a permanent record of any youthful thoughts or behavior that might come back to haunt her in the future.

    It also helps that she has heard stories from her friends about what can happen if you aren't careful on the internet--for example, one of her friends downloaded malicious software onto her phone.
    Jard.the.gymnast likes this.
  11. Most kids around here get their first phone when they start school at 7 years old. I think that most of them also have internet access at all times and they usually have Instagram and Snapchat accounts too. I think that the parents are a little bit too relaxed about all that stuff nowadays. One of my girls told that she's not allowed to have her phone upstairs in her room at nights. The other girls were very surprised to hear about such a rule.
    Jard.the.gymnast likes this.
  12. Looking back, I wish I would have done something like this. I know we focus on the big baddies out there who might prey on our kids, but in my experience it was the loss of communication that I can point to as the biggest cell phone negative.
    strawberries and txgymfan like this.
  13. I read an article in the Dutch newspapers stating 5% of the kids aged 5 and under had a smartphone.

    For me, I got a phone when I was 9, because I walked from and to school alone, so my parents wanted to know if I got to school savely. This phone was a nokia kind of smartphone without internet connection.

    Then my other phone was my mom her old phone. I got it when I went to junior high. Once you get to junior high, at least where I live, you can't go without a phone. All the projects, homework, grades, class table is all done online. You need your phone to contact others on projects. This might not be the same as in other countries though.

    My parents never monitored, as they believe my phone is mine. I think having a phone without any connection to wifi at first really helped with that. I didn't miss the monitoring. There aren't things on my phone I would like to hide, but it just feels a bit private if my parents read through all of my texts
  14. Ours all got phones in 8th grade. We do not monitor.
  15. I’m the opposite. I feel it’s my responsibility as a parent to monitor what my child is up to on her phone and any internet activity. We actually haven’t allowed any social media. I feel it’s like teaching your kid how to ride a bike, start with training wheels. The monitoring is just to provide guidance. My step mom is a lawyer/mediator and has suggested we stay away from social media as long as possible. She’s seen scary things from good kids from respectable families. My good friends daughter signed up for Snapchat without permission while at a sleepover. Her mom found out (while monitoring her history) and signed into the SnapChat account (the daughters) It took less than 24 hrs for girls to send almost naked pictures. I firmly believe it’s because they aren’t old enough to make good choices and aren’t being guided by their parents. I’m old school. I knew when I was in my room, talking on the phone, my parents could pick up the receiver and hear what I was saying at any moment. I guess I look at monitoring their phones/texts as the modern way to that.

    As far as the OP, we have the version family app, track one another’s location and my daughters phone can’t download apps/purchase items without approval from my husband. A text is sent to him with her requests and he can approve or deny.
    meganliz77 and gymyogimom like this.
  16. I think my daughter would rather I monitor her going to the bathroom and showering before I monitored everthing she did on her phone ;). I am a follower of her on Instagram, etc. so if she did anything bad on there, hopefully I’d see it, but as for as monitoring everthing she texts back and forth to others I think that would really be crossing the line.

    Are their apps that let you see everthing someone does on their phone?? I didn’t know that. I guess it would be good for parents who wanted to helicopter or people who don’t trust their significant others, but that’s also kind of scary to think how that could be used for the wrong reasons...
    Aero and Jard.the.gymnast like this.
  17. Wow. Not over in our neck of the woods. Middle school is when the phones become commonplace here.
    Jard.the.gymnast likes this.
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