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so my daughter is 10 years old and was supposed to be level 7 this season. About 3 weeks ago, she hurt her foot during practice. First day back from a week vacation. She's been out for almost 1 month now, and seems like she has lost so much confidence and determination to go back to gym. We had a talk and she expressed that she doesn't want to do gymnastics anymore because it's not fun anymore and that she is scared doing high level skills. This is a girl that never had a mental block, etc... another thing also, is that our family is moving cross country, Texas and there's so many changes right now that maybe could contribute to this decision of hers. But we visited a gym in Texas, and she expressed that she just doesn't want to do gym anymore. She said she wants to be home more and do other sports. Her dad is very concerned that might lose her strength and will just sit around and watch tv. She mostly does this when she have gym, mainly because she so tired after practice. I really don't know what to do. As a mom, I can understand her but I also have a mixed emotion because before we took a vacation and before she got hurt, she was still loving gym.
By the way, she is hurt a lot lately. First she hurt her hip, knee and then now, her foot. And these all happen within 1 year. Sorry for the long post, but I really have no idea what to do. Because I feel like she worked so much to just give up. She also don't want to tell her coach that she will be quitting and she wants me to tell the gym, I told her no, that's not happening and that she needed to go in and say goodbye. I am so sad that her gymnastics career might come to an end.
 
Let her quit. She's only 10, but is old enough to know what she wants. If she truly loves it she will realize her mistake and want to go back. When are you moving? Maybe you can tell her to stay in the current gym until you move. Then once you're in Texas she can decide if she wants to go back to gym or not.
Let her try other sports, due to her gym background, other sports may come easy to her and she may find something she really loves.
I know this is hard, but it's her sport, not yours. The decision needs to be up to her.
 
My DD wanted to quit this past year. (competed L6, alternate to Regionals, 8th grade). She quit. Even with being the alternate to regionals, it wasn't fun anymore.
Within a year she had the beginning of a stress fracture in her back. Clearing from that, she sprained her ankle. Her hips always hurt.
It's been 4 months, and she doesn't miss it AT ALL. She's glad to not hurt all the time. She's glad that she can focus on other things (she's a straight A honor student - but I was more happy for her that she was able to go to a Friday night football game last week).

Her gymmate quit in June. It wasn't fun. She just finished L7, going into 8th grade. The first two weeks, she was happy to be out. Found other stuff to do.
Third & fourth week, she's begging to go back. They are deciding right now (as in, today) whether they go back to the previous gym or to a different one.

If your DD wants to quit, at 10, training L7, let her. If she misses it, she can go back. If she doesn't, then she can do other things.

If the worry is that she'll sit around and watch tv, put constraints into place. My DD is signing up for recreational volleyball next month. She's joining school clubs.
And yes, she will lose some of that strength. Regular folks don't need the strength that gymnasts have.

And I agree with @notthatmom that with the move, maybe this is a good time to decide. Especially if she'd be having to change gyms anyway. Let her take a break in Texas. And then if she misses it, you find a new gym.

I won't lie, it's sad when it's over. But not every gymnast is meant to stay in the sport until Level 10 or beyond.

Good luck!
 
We are moving in a month
I think a month is the perfect amount of time to have her "wait it out"....plus, you can easily just tell her you paid for September already, so she's going :)

Once you move and get settled, that should be enough time for her being off from gym to know if she really wants to go back or not.
You don't want her to end up resenting you for forcing her to stay in something that's making her unhappy and scared.

She may never go back, and that's ok. It's also ok for you to make her compromise...you can tell her if it isn't gym, it must be something, be it soccer, swimming, 4H, robot building, whatever ;)
As long as she is doing something that keeps her busy and off the couch, and as long as she's happy doing it, all should be good :)
 
It is very tough, but 10 and L7 is definitely a key age for kids in the gym . I would let her quit when you move, she will either miss it, or she won't. You really cannot force kids to like a sport they are mentally done with. THe more you pressure her, the worse it will be.

Many of us here have kids who have long been done with gym, they move on, find new passions. It is okay.

Encourage her to join some things at the new school.
 
I am having a hard time letting it go... it is sad because she was really really good. She always seemed proud of herself when she does a skill. Part of me, blames myself. Because we never should have took that 1 week off and maybe she won't her foot and maybe she would not get so used to being off gym and will still like gym. Part of me, is having a hard time but part of me is telling me it's ok... I am a mess and cant stop crying because we are so invested in gym.
 
I am having a hard time letting it go... it is sad because she was really really good. She always seemed proud of herself when she does a skill. Part of me, blames myself. Because we never should have took that 1 week off and maybe she won't her foot and maybe she would not get so used to being off gym and will still like gym. Part of me, is having a hard time but part of me is telling me it's ok... I am a mess and cant stop crying because we are so invested in gym.

Please take this with the kindness that is intended, from someone that also went through a crying jag (when my YDD was forced to quit against all our wills). YOU should not be so invested in HER sport that she wants to quit and you're crying over it. It needs to be hers, 100% ownership.

Your family vacation did NOT lead to her injury. If a week or so off gym was enough for her to not want to go back than she does NOT love it.

My ODD missed six weeks of gym this summer and was dying to get back- she went to look at new gyms the day after moving into a new house, across the country, and still jet lagged from an international trip.. she's not so good really, but it's in her blood.

My YDD would literally give up everything she owns and everything else she does for a chance to be back on her old team (across the country). The sport had to be clawed from her grasping hands.

When kids want it the sacrifices requested of this sport are worthwhile to them, and often to the parents. When they are ready to move on we need to let them. No one wants love to turn to hate, or passion into regret.

I think letting her stop until you're settled seems like the perfect opportunity to see if she misses it or is truly ready to move on. Best of luck with your move.
 
I'm going agree with @MILgymFAM - it's not your sport, it's hers.
The day my DD said she wanted to quit, I cried. I felt like "What about me???". But it's never been about me. Yes, I had the kid that could be truly great, if she LOVED the sport. She didn't. SHe liked it enough. It was her sport, but it wasn't her passion.

Being really really good at something doesn't make that person like it. How many sports folks do we see, and wonder if they stayed in it because THEY loved it or because they were good and their PARENTS pushed it. And although as a country I'm glad we have some of those kids to represent us, my heart aches for some of them who were never given the chance to quit.

I know - that's more deep than what you're saying. But truly, if she loves it, she'll WANT to come back to it. If she doesn't LOVE it, set her free ;)
 
Remember that being good at gymnastics is not enought reason to stay. I see it all the time, the kid wants to quit and the parent says "oh but you are so good at gymnastics why would you want to quit."

To spend as much time in the gym as these girls do they have to love it and have the desire to be there and want it, being good is not enough.
 
Remember that being good at gymnastics is not enought reason to stay. I see it all the time, the kid wants to quit and the parent says "oh but you are so good at gymnastics why would you want to quit."

To spend as much time in the gym as these girls do they have to love it and have the desire to be there and want it, being good is not enough.
This.

I'm really good at geometry but that isn't a good enough reason for me to do it day in and day out, or make a career out of it, I actually hate math!

She has to love it. Plain and simple.
 
I agree with the others. I will add one point for thought. Level 7 and above is not easy, it's rigorous and possibly dangerous if your heart and brain are not concentrating on what skill you are attempting. Give her a few weeks see how it plays out, it's ok to require extra curricular activities.
 
You all say its their sport, and I agree, but only about 75%. It's not just theirs, especially if they are a higher level and have been doing this for 10+ years. I put my life on hold for 10 years because my dd loved gymnastics. It's all she wanted to do, and she was good--very good. She fought back from several normally career-ending injuries and still was very good. She worked so hard, and I worked equally hard so she could do what she loved. It was her sport, but I was the enabler. Literally without me, she could not have gone past rec classes. So when the final injury happened, and she didn't want to come back, it was like a death in the family. It really was. I grieved to for a year (internally) as she dealt with her disappointment and tried to figure out what to do now. I still can hardly watch her videos without crying. Please don't dismiss the investment we as parents have in our child in this sport, because it is just as much ours as it is theirs, and I'm not talking about pushing them when they don't want it any more. When you want it for your child so badly because they want it so badly, how can you say to distance yourself because its their sport? If I weren't as passionate for her as she was (or at least close to her passion) she never would have been able to achieve as much as she did because no one else would have or could have made it happen for her. (I'm referring to the cost, because it isn't free).

So to charity, I understand where you are, and I'm not going to dismiss your feelings, because they are real. But, she really does have to love it to do it, You can force her to go to practice, but you can't make her do the sport, and it will only become resentment toward you for forcing her and toward her for not trying. I'd say have her finish out her month before you move, say her good-byes since she is moving anyway, and then let her decide when you get settled. My second daughter also did the sport, but not for as long or as high a level as her sister. I asked her to retire due to her age (she was older and on a lower level), and to try something else. She did not have the passion her sister had. She missed it for about a month, and tried other things. She is now on a college cheer team, and loving it.

It will all be okay, but its also ok if you are grieving what could have been. You are very much a part of her gymnastics, and I won't change my opinion about that.
 
I'd also really discourage anyone reading this thread from making a strong connection between how successful a gymnast's career is and how you feel about that gymnast continuing or quitting. My DD has never been a top-of-the-podium kind of gal, but she's hung onto the sport out of love of gymnastics, continuing to plug away after most of her early teammates had either gotten to L10 or quit. My MIL has had many conversations with me about encouraging her to quit so she can focus on areas in which she's more successful (as if making it to L8 is "unsuccessful" o_O), but the touchstone for us has always been her relationship to the sport. For her, after a long string of injuries, the best solution was a switch to Xcel this summer, and I am so happy to see her renewed love for gym. It's sad to see any child outgrow something they've loved and that you've loved being involved with -- those feelings are completely legitimate, no matter whether your child was a rock star or just one of the pack.

But for the OP, it's like that old saying -- let her let go of gym. If she really loves it, it won't let her go. And if she's in a position of really wanting to go back but not wanting as much of a time commitment or as much pressure, do consider a good Xcel program.
 
Thank you so much GAgymmom because I was starting to feel like such a bad mother.
Oh I really do apologize if that's how I made you feel. That wasn't my intention what so ever. I know this is hard for both you and your DD, so I apologize if I made you feel worse.
 
GAgymmom, I think you and I are saying parallel things. While my girls have to own their activities, I know I'm literally and figuratively the driving force that enables them to continue. I think the difference is that they are dedicated to gym- but I am dedicated to them. Maybe it's because our lives change so drastically and so often, but I tend to throw myself into opening doors for them in any area that they pursue, and it's changed a good bit over the years. Then again I can admit that's a part of it too. My kids have never lived anywhere, done anything, or stayed static for 5..7..10 years. It's not in the cards for us. I can imagine that if they were in a place, pursuing a thing for that long I could get emotionally invested in something outside their happiness with it.
 
From what I understand from your post, your daughter has not been able to get back into regular training since her last injury and has since expressed the wish to quit? If that's the case, I would not let her quit with her final experience being an injury and lack of confidence.

What I've told gymnasts (and their parents) who told me they wanted to quit (usually I had noticed this moment coming up for a while), is the following:
"Yes, you can quit but it would be nice if you could finish on a high note. Come to practice for another month or two, try to give your best, and then, on a set date, you can quit. If you start to feel differently during this time, you can change your mind, but we don't expect you to and you don't have to explain yourself further."

This has always worked really well and I've seen kids equally go both ways - some quit and some decided to continue and others decided to continue in a less demanding program. All of them seemed to regain their passion - even the ones who ended up quitting. Of course, I try to make it a little more fun for them during this time. I'm less hard on them and try to boost their confidence a little more and explicitly focus on what they can do.

You'd definitely have to talk to her coach(es) though....it's important for them to be on board with this!
 
There are many of us who have been in your position. Having just gone through a cross country move after the start of the last school year and having two daughters leave the sport at the same time, I totally get where you coming from. It's hard as a parent to let go of something that your daughter could be good in. But looking back, understand the stress that your daughter is going through with just the move, let alone the injury and moving to L7. It's a lot and no matter how onboard she is with the move, there's a lot of stress. She may need some space to be able to deal with all the changes in her life.

The good news is that she is young and there's a whole world of things and experiences that she can get involved with. One of my girls tried diving and loves it. My other is still trying to figure what activities she wants to do but leaving the gym gave her the time to make new friends at her new school. I love the fact that I now get to have dinner with my girls instead driving one or the other to practice. We've been able to do more things as a family since I'm not paying huge gym fees. I left the door open for them to go to a new gym if they decided but they have been very happy with their decision.

Remember, you too are under a lot of stress! Moving is not easy especially when you are moving a family. Some of your sadness maybe related to that. You all will be fine whether or not she goes back to the gym. Good luck with everything!
 

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