Parents I am the CGM

[gymgirl0514]

ok so I have posted here before and received some good encouragement lol but right now I feel like a Crazy Gym Mom. My dd is a lvl 4 this year, she had a rough lvl 3 season really enjoyed competing last year never really paid attention to the scores she only made her bhs in two of the meets without a spot and only got her dismount on beam at the last meet but she messed up her floor routine and was the only one to not make it to states which she didn't even realize and I had to tell her because I think she just assumed she had made it, needless to say she cried all the way home it was tough but she got through it her coaches were very supportive. Over the summer her hours increased and she started preparing for lvl 4 she finally got her kip about a month before the first meet although not pretty she did it! Although she was failing to make it over the vault! So I talked with her coach and she felt she was ok to go with 4 and possibly take a 0 on the vault as long as she was ok and not crying at the meets or she could choose to compete lvl 3 again with the hopes of making states this year. Well she didn't like the idea of not competeing with her team as they have been together for so long but she also understood that she would have a better chance at states and getting better scores doing lvl 3. So she decides lvl 3 but just happens to get over the vault table in practice a week before the meet so the coach felt she should continue with 4.... but then she doesn't do well with vault for the rest of that week we get to the first meet and she surprisingly gets over the vault everyone cheered as if it was the best vault ever.... lol... she ended up getting the lowest score on the team but we were thrilled that she did it! She completed all the skills and had her best beam ever with an 8.35 believe it or not that was her best score on beam! So all in all we were super proud her next meet although she completed everything her form and lack of flexibility has killed her score wise. She also struggles with her bigger skills although she can do the double rbhs it is still so sloppy with bent legs and she has no rebound on her fhs she barely stays of the ground in her landing. Despite all this she has made huge progress and we are so proud of that. I have to admit though as a parent it's so hard to watch your child be the lowest aa scorer on the team consistently the only one who hasn't ever got a medal. She still comes out with a smile on her face but sometimes she will say I suck at this or that! I think she is starting to realize that her scores aren't up to par with the rest of the team. I really want her to stick with it but I worry she won't progress past these lower levels I guess I am just looking for stories of others in my shoes, she does love this sport and we have invested so much in it already, I sometimes often wonder why she was selected for the team, I was told by her coach that she is extremely strong and is such a hard worker! Does it just take some little ones more time to mature and make the corrections? She is 8 almost 9, I feel like I get so emotionally worn out after these meets lol

 

[GymDad9.9]

Sounds like your daughter is an inspiration to her teammates and has the respect of her coaches. Do not give up.

PS...You're not a CGM

 

[MILgymFAM]

I feel your pain. I went through that, but with a teenager! They want so hard to believe that hard work pays off *in that way* but that's not always the case. My DDs L6 season was hard to sit though, tbh. She was often the lowest score of the whole meet, and would be scratched from 1-3 events that we wouldn't know about till the meet started.

It was stressful all around; the other girls treated her like she didn't belong. It was terrible. I wanna say it didn't bother me, but it did. I'm just glad you have a more positive environment. I came to terms with it by reminding myself that in the same way that someone has to come in first, someone has to come in last. It's a whole organic thing, and every person's effort is just as meaningful. My DD loved being on her team and loved being an optional, and it was not my place to (even in my own head) rain on her parade. She had enough naysayers already.

I'm sure other people will chime in with stories of vast improvements and things just clicking. We never had that happen, but my epiphany was that everything I was stressing about didn't matter at all.. so that's what I share with you.

 

[gymgirl0514]

Thanks for the response, I do think that has more to do with me then her lol as she still seems happy at gym and that's what is important, it is hard as a parent to step back, I will continue to make this more about her own personal accomplishments and let the chips fall where they may.

 

[e'smum]

i'm curious why she did not make it to states as a level 3? i thought all level 3s just had to compete 2 meets and that was the requirement for states. is that not country wide?

 

[e'smum]

ps - as long as she is happy, then that is all that matters.

 

[gymgirl0514]

We are in the US in Pa she had to get a 33 aa I believe

 

[MILgymFAM]

i'm curious why she did not make it to states as a level 3? i thought all level 3s just had to compete 2 meets and that was the requirement for states. is that not country wide?

Here in NorCal the score for L3 states is 34.5. I think every state sets their own guidelines on state meet requirements.

 

[e'smum]

We are in the US in Pa she had to get a 33 aa I believe

what?!? that is so wrong.
in MA they only have to compete at 2 meets. my dd's 1st year in gymnastics was as a non compete as she'd never really done it before, minus a few weeks in a rec class a couple of years earlier and a mommy and me class as a toddler. lol. she picked up the majority of the skills quickly so they let her compete the last 2 meets so she could go to states with the rest of the team. also, i think here in MA you only need a 32.5 to make it to states for most levels. i don't understand the wide variance on stuff like that in the USAG. i would think it would all be uniform across states.

 

[txgymfan]

Gymgirl0514, please use paragraphs in your long posts. Your first one was difficult to read.

 

[gymgirl0514]

Will do sorry about that, I didn't think it was going to be so long

 

[cadybearsmommy]

Even though she has all of the skills that form can be hard to get down. Sometimes it is a problem with the coaching or the gym's conditioning program, and for some kids it's just takes longer to "click."

Your dd is still young. You mentioned she was the lowest AA scorer at a lot of her meets, just curious, are her teammates scoring and placing poorly as well? If so, then it could very well not be your dd, but the program.

My dd started out in a gym that did not emphasize form, shaping, flexibility, etc at all. Her first season competing she was Xcel bronze and it was a rough season. However, one of the things we did notice was that her teammates were scoring in the same range. Some of them were scoring a little bit higher, but none of them were scoring up to par with some of the other gyms. When I watched the girls from the gyms that were winning I could see a HUGE difference in their form. They looked polished and professional, stayed very tight in their routines, kept toes pointed, good posture etc. That's when I knew something was lacking from the program my dd was in. Due to that and some other changes that were happening, we went to another gym after meet season. DD repeated the level since we knew she had a lot of cleaning up to do and she improved her AA score at her first meet with the new gym by three points. She stayed in the Xcel program for the 2nd season of bronze, and a season of silver and is now competing L6. Compulsories don't always go well for every kid. My dd is one who would have struggled through compulsories, but with Xcel she could progress at her own pace, which was slow at first and then she just suddenly had a skills explosion after silver. Sometimes kids struggle through compulsories, and then do well at optionals. Some kids end up going to Xcel and doing very well, and decide to stick with that program.

If your dd is the only one on her team that is struggling in competitions, then it could very well be an age/maturity thing. Getting form right takes a lot of hard work, observation, and taking corrections well. With your dd being 8, it's very possible that she may just not be there yet. It takes longer for some kids than others, as some kids just seem to naturally understand great form and do it from the beginning but for others it takes a lot of hard work. Chances are it will click for her one day and she will surprise you! Try not to stress just yet. Even if this season of L4 doesn't work out the best, I still say she is probably better off than repeating L3 just b/c the L4 skills are so much more progressive and she will learn more in the long run competing L4 this year. L4 is also a good level to repeat and many gymmies do repeat L4, and if she repeats L4 next year it may give her more time to get those basics polished.

 

[Sasha]

How many hours a week does your DD go? Like cadysbearsmommy asked above, is your gym overall producing some high scoring kids and competing well in your region? Or are other gyms generally more highly polished and winning more?

Getting over the vault table with any kind of reliable form is a struggle for MANY 8 year olds. I wouldn't worry about that part. The backhandsprings maybe a little more worrisome - did they do lots and lots of drills at your gym before girls ever were spotted? Or is the style just to spot them through even when form is ugly, and have them go for it? If her form is truly terrible on bhs (and I have seen many scary ones in comps!!), I would look for coaches to be going back to basic drills (like round off-rebound, rebound-jump backwards, etc.) and working on shapes. If they don't seem to be doing this, it might not be very good coaching.

You mentioned she is not super flexible (that can get better with time and good coaching). Being strong is a huge asset, so lots of potential there.

So, yes, there's no need to worry about scores at level 3/4, but at the same time, if my dd was really struggling and not seeming to improve, I might wonder if the program philosophy and coaching was a fit. Like spotting sooner vs endless drills, more verbal vs physical feedback, etc. Some kids thrive more with one style over another. Just a possible consideration.

At age 8, it's better character-building imo to be the worst one on the team vs. the best. Too many issues when you're the best at an early age. Better to be the one who has to work hard for anything you get. Will have an easier and more successful transition to the real world

 

[raenndrops]

YG spent 3 years as an Old Level 4/current Level 3.
She just turned 7 when that first season began. She didn't score higher than a 28.850 due to form and falls.
As an 8 year old, her form got a little better and there were fewer falls, but her high score was still a 32.700.
As a 9 year old, they had the great level switch so it was new routines, but the same skills. 32.950 was her high score.
At 10, she made the jump to Xcel Gold because there was no way she was doing a 4th year at a level and she didn't want to be last place all the time at Level 4.
Bars got better even though she now had to jump to the high bar. Beam got better even though she had a lower start value as she was still working to meet the SRs. Her high score jumped to 33.625.
She took a year off and is back this year, competing Xcel Gold again, and SO FAR her high score is 35.150.

I tell you this to let you know that it may take time. As long as she is having fun, let it go. If she ever has to do 3 years at a compulsory level, THEN maybe suggest competing Xcel. Her own routines might be fun

 

[duyetanh]

At age 8, it's better character-building imo to be the worst one on the team vs. the best. Too many issues when you're the best at an early age. Better to be the one who has to work hard for anything you get. Will have an easier and more successful transition to the real world

Damn straight.

 

[gymgirl0514]

As far as the gym she truly seems like the only one struggling with the bhs, I don't think our girls are doing exceptionally well but a good majority will place here and there in the events sometimes 1st.

I feel like she might have some fear issues, she never tucks her head down on handstands and I know she can get vertical on the beam but she is afraid to go all the way up! she works on handstands constantly at home. She once told me she would close her eyes on vault!

She goes about 12 hours a week. I feel like our gym as long as they have the skills they can compete that level, not sure how it works with the upper levels though. I feel like they have worked with her on the bhs but since everyone else seems to have it down pat and good now that she is sorta left behind. I thought about private lessons to clean it up but part of me thinks 8 is to young and she already has little time to play with her friends outside of gym and that this needs to be fun!

I am totally ok with her repeating 4 I was honestly wanting her to repeat 3 to gain some confidence but I am glad she went with 4 anyhow and that she understands that it will be a challenge for her.

 

[gymgirl0514]

And thanks for the encouragement I feel as a parent I just need others to tell me to calm down this is ok!

 

[MeetDirector]

gymgirl -

First things first - sit down and take a deep breath. If you continue to get yourself so invested in your daughter's sport you are going to go crazy. Please note - I said "your daughter's sport" intentionally; her progression in this sport is between her and her coaches. Your role is to support her, be her cheerleader, make sure she has enough sleep and food and let the coaches determine what skills she is ready for.

The Gymnastics road is a very long one and you need to have calmness to survive it.

Good Luck.

 

[gymgirl0514]

gymgirl -

First things first - sit down and take a deep breath. If you continue to get yourself so invested in your daughter's sport you are going to go crazy. Please note - I said "your daughter's sport" intentionally; her progression in this sport is between her and her coaches. Your role is to support her, be her cheerleader, make sure she has enough sleep and food and let the coaches determine what skills she is ready for.

The Gymnastics road is a very long one and you need to have calmness to survive it.

Good Luck.

Thank you I needed to hear this! It's hard to step back sometimes, after the meet as I was talking with my mother in law about her struggling I said to her the coaches wouldn't have her on this team if they didn't think she was not capable, my mother in law basically said well they are getting your money, It didn't hit me till after that she was basically saying that because we pay she is on the team...... really hurt my feelings

 

[Iwannabemargo]

It didn't hit me till after that she was basically saying that because we pay she is on the team...... really hurt my feelings

Which goes to show that your MIL doesn't have a clue about gymnastics !