Coaches "I can't believe I just said that"

[eucoach]

To the fellow coaches out there.....do you ever have those "I can't believe I just said that to this gymnast" moments?

I really hope I'm not the only one...

...sometimes I say sth. weird/funny and wonder if the kids think I'm a big weirdo.
...and sometimes I say things that I regret saying the moment they leave my mouth. F. ex. when I have to call a gymnast out repeatedly because she's not really trying, I tend to get quite manipulative. Sometimes I tell them things like "well, you'll probably never become a good gymnast if you keep not giving an effort on that drill/skill/etc." Recently I called out a girl who is usually really hard-working because she was doing 120° switch leaps although she's capable of showing a 180° split. After reminding her to show a full split several times, I said sth. along the lines of "Are you kidding me? Are you trying to make fun of me or do you just not care?" Granted, it usually does work but I wished I had more control in some situations.....

 

[Deleted member D3987]

it's a gymnastics thing...

 

[BlairBob]

Have you ever thought of soccer or chess?

Heheh. My friend's favorite line I totally steal.

 

[CoachGoofy]

I'm the royalty of words coming out of my mouth in the wrong order. Today, working twisting with a 9 year old boy, "what hand are you going to put your pockets in?" See also, during stretching, "grab your back foot with your front knee".

And you haven't lived til you've seen the look on rec parent's faces when you tell team kids they need to take off their pants now. RELAX, KID HAS A LEO UNDER THERE.

 

[Gymsanity]

Well, these days it's more like I can't believe I didn't say that to this gymnast! Several good points to mention here. First, there is nothing wrong with having thoughts. We all have them and that's part of being human. The problem of course comes from actions. If we all said or did what we felt or thought......OMG! Coaching gymnastics can certainly be challenging to say the least. I've been in situations that were so frustrating, I believe the Statue of Liberty would have thrown her torch! Getting more to your point, you need to remember that you are working with children and sometimes it's easy to lose sight of that, but they are children and need to be treated and spoken to accordingly. The very first thing I say to any of my new coaches is "coach the kids the way you would want to be coached. Would you want someone to belittle, humiliate, or demean you, or would you want someone to be supportive, nurturing, understanding, and caring? The choice is yours, you can be any coach you want to be." I have seen many verbally abusive coaches over the years, and I can see how it evolves. The coach sees that if they show disapproval or yells a little bit, the athlete is quick to make the correction (coach now thinks they have found magic answer). Unfortunately, at the same time, the athlete as a self defense mechanism gets a little tougher skin. Now the coach finds they need to yell a little louder or say more poignant things to get the same results. The athlete now needs an even thicker skin to protect themselves, and so begins the damaging hurtful spiral of unhealthy coaching. Granted, it can seem like a quick and effective means to get the end result at the time, but believe me there are no effective short cuts. The pain, hurt, self esteem, and emotional problems that this cycle will create within the child will last a lifetime for them, and I know that is nothing you would want to intentionally be responsible for. No skill or sport in the world is worth hurting a child emotionally or physically. Understand that with your encouragement and persistence they will get it, and when they do, you and they will feel much better about it. Also, if you feel you have said some things you wish you hadn't (and who hasn't), don't be afraid to apologize and say you are sorry. I'm not sure why so many people have a problem with saying that, but it's is incredibly healing for someone to hear that. I have a lot of things going on in my life outside of gym, as do most people (taking care of sick and/or dying people, or whatever it may be). So, if I feel I may have brought some of that to the gym with me that day, I have no problem talking to the girls during cool down and saying "hey, I'm sorry if I was a little short with any of you today. I've got some things going on right now and I'm sorry if I wasn't able to leave them all at the door. I'll try and do better tomorrow.......if you will try and do better on your splits!" To finish this novel, yes I believe we all trip on our words at times. I will be spotting one girl, looking at another, thinking of a third, and then when I go to speak some pretty disjointed garble can come out! Half the time I call them by the wrong name! But hey, like I tell them, "if that's the worst thing I call you, be happy!"
PS. Final thought, don't be afraid to think before you speak. Saves a lot of hurt and regrets down the road.

 

[CoachGoofy]

Not a mod note, just a person-who-couldnt-read-that note:

Paragraphs are your friend, if you're technologically able to make them (I see that you could start a sentence on another line so I'm guessing it's an option on your device?). It is possible, though statistically extremely unlikely, that I was the only person utterly unable to read that wall o text there. Short paragraphs are easier for everyone to parse. =)

 

[Gymsanity]

Thanks for the input. Was in a hurry and unaware besides. I also wasn't planning on writing a novel! Tried half a dozen times to fix it on this post, but it just won't let me...feel free to delete the other........and this one for that matter.