WAG If it were your child...

[JoyAvenueMom]

I am relatively new to CB, and have found the posts have been so helpful! I have an 8yo DD who has been involved in the sport for over 4 years. She goes to a mostly rec gym which competes L1-L4 in a state-sanctioned program and L5-prep op in AAU. She has what I estimate as average natural talent but a passion for the sport and lots of internal drive. She competed L4 last season and will compete prep op (AAU Novice), or L5 if she ever gets that darn kip!, this season. After reading and learning what I can from this site, I realize we will likely need to change gyms at some point in the near future. (assuming DD remains devoted to the sport). In our current gym, there are only 4 other girls competing above L4. They all competed L5 last year. The gym does not have the staff or equipment to train high level optional gymnasts. However, there are many things I love about the gym. There is very little drama, the kids are not pressured or mistreated. They spend lots of time up-training and DD is never bored. It is convenient to our home and DD has friends in our group. The HC is approachable and flexible. My question concerns the considerations and timing for switching gyms. There are a couple of USAG gyms in the area, but they are much larger and I have heard there is much more competetive "drama". I was fortunate enough to follow my passion for music through high school and into college. IF DD still wants to do this at 17, I want to know that I did everything "right" to help her get there. I have spoken to the coach and at this point she is not planning to expand or offer USAG in the future. So, do I leave DD where she is until the HC tells me it's time to move? Or do we make the move at the end of the season so she can begin L5 in a USAG gym? Any advice or opinions are welcomed.

 

[wallinbl]

We went through nearly the same thing two years ago. We were at a preschool gym that also had a level 4 team (and 2 level 5 gymnasts). Great coach that we loved and relaxed atmosphere. Gym lacked equipment necessary for higher levels (ceiling too low for giants on high bar, etc). We came to the conclusion that we were going to end up changing gyms anyway, so it was easier to do it sooner rather than staying longer and growing more attached. We had conversations with DD about what would happen if she were to continue on and move up in levels and about the fact that she would have to move to another gym. We also talked about how she would feel about changing coaches and teammates.

We were fortunate enough to have friends at a bigger, more advanced gym nearby (though their kids were older and at a higher level, so not the same team/level as DD). I went to the gym on my own and watched practice and talked to the coaches and other parents before bringing DD there (she's shy and not big on change, so I didn't want to drag her to too many gyms). When I was comfortable with it, I brought her over for a practice and was surprised that she loved it (she's not big on new people/places).

It has worked out well for us, and we see the old coach at a lot of meets and catch up with her then. She's been really great about the whole thing, as she knows her facility is limited and girls will eventually leave her, so there don't appear to be hard feelings. I will say that it was a hard decision and that we spent much time wondering whether we had made the right decision or whether we had moved DD into a place that would eventually turn her off from gymnastics. Only time can answer that question.

 

[MaryA]

That's really hard. We switched from a YMCA program to a private gym just over a year ago. My DD was against leaving at first, but now she wishes that she had switched to a more intensive program earlier (she has dreams of doing college gym, but as a 6th grade level 7 her chances are singificantly less than if she was a level or two ahead of where she is now). That being said, until last year there was only one private gym in the area, and I knew enough about it that I wasn't too anxious to send my daughter there. It wasn't until a new gym opened up that I insisted on the switch (not just so that she could progress further or faster... there were lots of other issues at the YMCA gym... it was definitely NOT low-drama).

So, I would say start looking. Do your research without involving your daughter. Go watch some practices, talk to parents and coaches, watch the kids and how they interact with the coaches, find out about hours, prices, fundraising, everything. If you find someplace that you feel is a really good fit, then get your daughter involved. But I would not say "let her decide." I tried to let my daughter decide, but it just tore her up. She was sad at the thought of leaving her friends and she felt guilty because she felt like the coaches were counting on her to help her team do well the next season, stuff like that. If I had to do it again, I would make sure that the gym switch was in line with her goals (does she want to continue to do gym after level 5, is it something she sees herself doing long-term, etc.) and then I would make the decision. I would make sure she knew why I was switching her, and I would give her an "out" if at all possible (if you don't like it after this season, you can always go back). But I have never seen my laid-back daughter as stressed out as when she was trying to decide whether or not to switch gyms. I think she was too young to have to make that kind of decision.

If, in your search, you don't find a place that makes you feel good about sending your daughter there, let her stay where she is. When she maxes out what her current gym has to offer, she and the coaches can decide together that it's time for her to switch to another gym, or maybe she'll decide to do something else... competitive cheer or dance or whatever. Her background in gymnastics will help her in whatever she decides to devote herself to.

Good luck!

 

[Aussie_coach]

You can always switch back if you don't like it. It's important to try and see how far your DD really wants to go with the sport or she will always be wondering how far she could have gone.

 

[cbone]

In my experience (one daughter making one gym change), making the change is far harder on the parents than the child. My daughter didn't want to go to her new gym, but we told her she had to try it for a day to see. SHE LOVED IT! She transitioned with hardly a second thought. I would always advocate making a move that you feel is in your child's best interest.

The timing of the change is the tougher part of the question and I personally would finish a season and then move, but that's one person's opinion. As far as gym drama- it is what you allow it to be. If you stay completely out of it, it will be a non-factor for you.

 

[bookworm]

I agree with most of what's been said here in that I would move her sooner than later...and the decision would be mine. I agree with Mary A in that if you ask her what she wants to do, it will become too emotional (and not that it won't be emotional anyway) so when I moved my daughters I just told them that "this is your new gym" ...I had done alll the research , visited the gyms, spoke with the coaches etc. The thing I wouldn't do though is give her an out(to go back ) because you might as well stay if you have an option to go back...you are making the move in order for her to progress and I think the move needs to be a clean break. We are done here and moving on...and if your current gym is a little rec place , they should not have an issue with you moving to a place with a USAG program because they have no intention of starting one.

 

[JoyAvenueMom]

I appreciate so many thoughtful replies. It seems like the consensus is:
1. Move DD at the end of this season
2. Don't burden her with an emotional decision, just tell her the new plan
3. Choose to stay away from gym drama and it will most likely not be a problem

MaryA, our situations seem to be very similar indeed. It seems odd to me to be thinking "long term" regarding an 8 yo's interest. (My older DD didn't find her "passion" until 9th grade). On the other hand, if we stay where we are because it is convenient and comfortable, DD may one day question if her opportunities were limited. There is a new program in our area as well. It will be almost as convenient. The facilty has had a competetive T&T program and Men's USAG program for a while, they are just new to Women's. How did you go about evaluating the gym since it was new? Or was your situation to a point that any move was going to be positive and you took a calculated risk?

 

[MaryA]

How did you go about evaluating the gym since it was new? Or was your situation to a point that any move was going to be positive and you took a calculated risk?

They had a meeting for prospective parents. The mission statement was inspiring, the coaches were amazing, and the HC/owner had a business degree and had been an Elite/Div.I gymnast. It was love at first sight! Luckily, once she switched, DD felt the same way!

 

[gymdog]

I would move immediately if you can get a space, plan to repeat USAG level 4 at a USAG gym. If you are hoping for her to compete the equivalent of USAG 5 (will be called level 4 for 2013) next year, it may not happen with this plan. The current 5 skills/routines are a whole different ball game and technique becomes much more important. She may end up doing a third year of 4 (USAG 3 in 2013).

 

[Deleted member D3987]

if you want help with this, pm me.

 

[MaryA]

Oh, yes. That was another part of my decision-making process during the gym switch... PM-ing Dunno. Or "visiting the oracle." which ever you prefer to call it.

 

[iwannacoach]

I would move immediately if you can get a space, plan to repeat USAG level 4 at a USAG gym. If you are hoping for her to compete the equivalent of USAG 5 (will be called level 4 for 2013) next year, it may not happen with this plan. The current 5 skills/routines are a whole different ball game and technique becomes much more important. She may end up doing a third year of 4 (USAG 3 in 2013).

I'll second that that motion^^^^^^

It's not just about equipment and the opportunity to train/compete optional level work. The coach that is working woth your dd may not know much about coaching skills beyond those found in the L4 routines. That increases the possibility that your dd will be learning things incorrectly or at a slower pace than a "full service" gym staff.

I'm looking at your dd's situation as if she's all ready made the change, but is training at her old gym while her new peer group trains at the full service facility. As each week passes, so do the opportunities to learn next years skills, and keep pace with her new found friends.......Whoops, I forgot that they're not training together, so they aren't friends yet.

I hope you understand that I'm just trying to "cut to the chase" with what I've just written. Those two paragraphs are just a summation of what I've seen when taking in new kids at each season's end. The wait until the end of the season simply put them that much further behind the group they'd hoped to join......and sometimes too far behind to catch up at all.

 

[JoyAvenueMom]

if you want help with this, pm me.

I did pm you, but can't tell that it went...my "sent" box is empty. Please let me know if you receive.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

yes, i did. i just responded back.

 

[twinklytoes9468]

I agree. Lovely though her current gym might be, it sounds as though she has outgrown it!

 

[gym law mom]

Your present gym sounds like a nice place to get started in gymnastics, but not a gym for the long haul. I would want to move her just based on her desire to compete L5/6. It just doesn't sound like this gym wants to train kids for the higher level compulsories much less optionals. It is time to start looking at other programs and seeing which would be a good fit.