Parents I'm becoming one of those gym parents

[cbone]

I'm becoming one of those parents that laugh at new parents' newness. I promised myself that I'd never be one of those parents, but I'm doing it. The new Level 3 parents were complaining about the excessive amount of conditioning that the girls are doing at our gym. Apparently, their girls are sore. I just chuckled, thinking, "This is the first step in COMPETETIVE gymnastics. If you could see how this will pay off down the road, you'd understand. Just trust the coaches and your kids will achieve great things." I know I'm new as a gym parent, but what a difference a year makes in perspective. I can only imagine what I'll be thinking this time next year.

 

[GymBee97]

Just wait until you have 14 years in Like I do with a boy and a girl - LOL then see what perspective you have.

your right though every year makes a difference. Just remember that L5 is the Crazy Gym Parent Year.

 

[MeetDirector]

cbone -

With just 1 year under your belt, can you imagine what you will be like when your dd gets to optionals? You will have even lived thru the dreaded JO program change coming after the next season. If you find yourself kind of liking the knowledge you gain, you can always do like I did and take a more active part in running meets even to the point of being a meet director. It is actually kind of fun.

Enjoy the ride!

 

[cbone]

Just wait until you have 14 years in Like I do with a boy and a girl - LOL then see what perspective you have.

your right though every year makes a difference. Just remember that L5 is the Crazy Gym Parent Year.

Level 3 was my crazy year. It's bad when I cranked the music all the way up on every video I made of my daughter's meets to drown out my cheering.

 

[wallinbl]

your right though every year makes a difference. Just remember that L5 is the Crazy Gym Parent Year.

Around here, that's level 4. Doesn't seem so bad with the 3's (though I was never a 3 parent, so maybe I just didn't notice). 4 was caustic. 5's not so bad, and most of the parents in the upper levels are quite pleasant.

 

[wallinbl]

Level 3 was my crazy year. It's bad when I cranked the music all the way up on every video I made of my daughter's meets to drown out my cheering.

I had one level 4 meet where the audio mysteriously cuts out when DD fell off the beam. Haven't had any other problems with it, so I think the camera's probably fine.

 

[cbone]

LOL!!! The cameras always get the blame...

 

[J&A's mom]

My son's first level 5 practice was last night. I asked a fellow Level 5 mom if our boys looked like that last year at this time....while pointing at the new, adorable, fresh level 4s!

 

[Danica76]

I know what you mean cbone. I have become one of those parents now too, after my first year (and in no small part due to everyone here at the CB - you people help me slay my inner CGM, so thanks a million!). I have learned A TON from the first competitive year experience. What I learned the most is that it is my daughter out there practicing, sweating, sacrificing, loving, hating, falling, dusting herself off, crying and smiling through it all - not me. I have let go a whole lot and am more excited than ever to continue to support her through the journey, wherever it takes her (hey, she has been talking a bunch about doing martial arts, so who knows!?). It is nice to be on the other side a bit now...and I thank everyone here and the seasoned parents/coaches at the gym for showing me the way!

L4 is also caustic at our gym. DD will be repeating it. Can't wait! But really, it is the best thing for her gymnastics. Bring it on!

 

[GymBee97]

In our area they don't do L3 - they may have "pre-teams" that really are L1 - 3 skills and routines but they don't compete they usually do something at the summer recitle and that is it. L4 is where the comp starts so that is the "I don't know anything" level and L5 is the "I have one year under my belt - why doesn't my kid have a kip crazy gym mom years" LOL. Many gyms don't compete until L5 so that could be a 1st year for many parents too.

I would say its that 2nd year of competition what ever level that is - is the start of that CGM year.

 

[MaryA]

Yes, I would agree that DD's 2nd year was my biggest CGM year, though I have to say that the best cure for my CGM tendancies (though my husband may disagree that I've been entirely cured) is to finally have my daughter at a gym where I trust the coaches completely to do what is best for my daughter's personal, emotional, and gymnastical ( ) development! When I see parents of tiny class kids hollering at their kids to point their toes or whatever, I want to say, "Hey, this is a great gym! Those are great coaches! Relax and let them do their job. Hollering corrections through the parent observation window is NOT going to make your child a better gymnast!"

 

[GymBee97]

MaryA I don't think we are ever 100% cured Sometimes we just can't help ourselves - LOL. But I have learned to relax and know its just gymnastics too - great coaches and a program that fits is always a great solution.

 

[my4buffaloes]

It was level 6 for us with the CGMs. Now we are moving on to optionals and I am hoping that things settle down. i felt knowledgable last year, but now with our first year in optionals everything is new again. I am trying to learn from last years level 7 parents as fast as I can, but really you probably never know everything, nor would I want to.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

if you were to ask me what i thought the single leading cause of CGM is, it WOULD be the fact that for whatever reason, or just gut instinct, parents don't have a certain level of trust in the program where their children are. Conversely, and just as interesting, club owners/coaches don't trust the parents either. it is the merging of this fact between all of us where peace and tranquility are found in many gyms. it takes time for all.

 

[MaryA]

if you were to ask me what i thought the single leading cause of CGM is, it WOULD be the fact that for whatever reason, or just gut instinct, parents don't have a certain level of trust in the program where their children are. Conversely, and just as interesting, club owners/coaches don't trust the parents either. it is the merging of this fact between all of us where peace and tranquility are found in many gyms. it takes time for all.

Explain. What do the coaches/owners not trust about the parents? Trust that we aren't going to get after them for every little thing? Trust that we won't engage them in the "When will my Suzie start kipping?" discussion? Trust that we will trust their expertise? In short, trust that we won't go all CGM on them? Or is it something else? What can parents do to foster a greater trust between parents and coaches?

 

[MeetDirector]

I couldn't agree more loudly with Dunno! You hit it out of the park. The parent-coach relationship is all about trust (both ways) and when you find that magic balance it is fabulous.

As for coaches/owners having to trust parents, yes it's all about the coaches not wanting parents micro-managing the athlete's training. Honestly, what parents can do to foster that trust is bring an athlete to the gym that is rested, fed, and ready to train. And of course, not coach from the viewing area; you are paying the coach to do that. When we reached that point a couple of years ago, it was magical; way less stress all around. Another way to foster the coach's trust in parents is to get involved with the non-coaching aspects of the gym. I chose to become a meet director and doing this took a huge burden off of the coach/owner. It improved the relationship many-fold.

Good Luck!

 

[Krystan]

I also agree that trust is the key. And I think it's natural that it takes a couple of months/years to *really* just trust the gym/coaches. I'm assuming that's why you don't see as much of the CGM phenomenon in the upper levels. I think I'm a little further along on that path than I would have been otherwise because of 1. Chalkbucket discussion and 2. Already going through a bit of a struggle with dd's anxiety when the coaches really showed that they do, in fact, have dd's best interests at heart. I think coaches need to expect that it might take a while for parents to be fully trusting and accepting though (not that that gives them a right to be disrespectful/caddy/overbearing/crazy).

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Explain. What do the coaches/owners not trust about the parents? Trust that we aren't going to get after them for every little thing? Trust that we won't engage them in the "When will my Suzie start kipping?" discussion? Trust that we will trust their expertise? In short, trust that we won't go all CGM on them? Or is it something else? What can parents do to foster a greater trust between parents and coaches?

Hi MaryA, it's a bit late now so i'll come back tomorrow and post a few years of thoughts. if i forget, just post up a yell.

 

[skschlag]

at our gym, it often seems the opposite, at least with the boys. Parents trust the coach and program at the compulsary levels (for the most part), but once they hit optionals, it seems to go away. I have yet to figure it out. It really confuses me because they have had the same coach for years by then. And it is still the same coach. I guess I will learn why in a few years...

I also agree that trust is the key. And I think it's natural that it takes a couple of months/years to *really* just trust the gym/coaches. I'm assuming that's why you don't see as much of the CGM phenomenon in the upper levels. I think I'm a little further along on that path than I would have been otherwise because of 1. Chalkbucket discussion and 2. Already going through a bit of a struggle with dd's anxiety when the coaches really showed that they do, in fact, have dd's best interests at heart. I think coaches need to expect that it might take a while for parents to be fully trusting and accepting though (not that that gives them a right to be disrespectful/caddy/overbearing/crazy).

 

[taylortumbles]

I have an interesting perspective myself because I coached for over 15 years and now I have an 8 year old in class at a fantastic gym (that I do not coach at). Because we commute, I sit in the Parent's area during class and play on my iPhone. Most of the moms are super friendly and nice and very encouraging towards their children. They really seem to care about the other kids as well, which is great. Occasionally when the kids are doing stations and are at an independent station, I can hear mom or dad yelling out corrections and I CRINGE. At least 75% of the time, they are telling them the wrong thing to do. I keep quiet because I worry if the parents will find out that I coach they will treat me differently. When I'm at that gym- I just want to be a 'Mom'