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For Parents Is this a big deal or not?

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AlexsGymmyMom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Mar 20, 2009
2,532
USA
At my daughters gym they have what is lovingly called "The Board". This is a place that a gymnast gets to put her name when she achieves a new skill. My daugher who has been at this gym in the rec program as well as team for 2 years has yet to be told she can put her name on it. However, all the skills she has she learned there. Recently at open gym she achieved her front hip circle, she even showed the owner who kindof gave her a nod and looked the other way. This was after he had told her a week before that in order to move to working more on her kip she HAD to have the FHC. No "Way to Go" or anything. Anyway, last week another girl got her front hip circle and after class was told to put her name on "The Board". My daughter asked if she could also put her name since she had not been able to yet for her FHC and was told "No". She left the gym in tears. Alex has a hard time asking for anything and then when she does she is told no. I did ask her coach why and was given a lame excuse. Am I making to big of a deal of this? To the girls that board IS BIG deal. I am not one to make waves and do not like confrontation but this seems to be a trend when it comes to Alex. She is just not noticed most of the time. I am just not sure if I should address this again or not with her coach or the owner
 

mariposa

Proud Parent
Proud Parent
Sep 25, 2007
3,529
Country
USA
That would upset me because it seems unfair. Why have a board if only certain girls are allowed to be on it? I would mostly be sad because my daughter was sad. Hard to explain the unfairness of that to a kid. The fact that they said no after she herself asked is very sad. If you are going to have something like that, be fair.

Abby's old gym had a huge gong that the kids rang when they got a skill. They didn't have to, but could if they wanted to. There was a rule that they had to do the skill 3 times to get to ring the gong. Simple and it was fair.

I think it would make me question if this gym truly had my DDs best interest at heart, if they really cared about her and her progress. I would probably consider checking out other gyms because I think that eventually, the apparent favoritism can't be good for your DDs self esteem. :( Feeling like your coaches don't care when you get a skill would definitely make it hard to work so hard to get something, even if you really want it yourself. Kids need that encouragement.

In a nutshell, yes, I think this is a big deal, for the simple fact that your DD thinks it is a big deal. Hugs to you and her. My DD would have been crushed as well.
 

AlexsGymmyMom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Mar 20, 2009
2,532
USA
We have been checking out other gyms and I really like a couple of them. I hate to leave and did not realize how hard it would be to make a change. I almost feel guilty for looking. But I have to think about what is best for Alex.
 

Gymmonkeymomma

Active Member
Proud Parent
Mar 7, 2008
1,991
Region 7
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USA
I think this type of "reward" system is only good if it is used consistently. My 2 DD's have never rang the gong at their gym. my oldest would cringe at the attention, but Little Monkey has learned so much but other girls who learned less have "gonged" and everyone stops and watches them and claps. If I thought my DD cared enough about it, I would say something. Just like my LM last year was told she was going to be put up as "gymnast of the month" when she became one of the only 2 State champs. Never happened. This year, she was the ONLY team girl to win 2 titles and still no recognition. It sucks!!!! Sorry, getting off my soapbox now.
 
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cher062

Guest
no your not making a big deal of this. either everyone gets to put their name when they get a skill or they don't. What was the lame excues because i would be in the owners face next pointing out that my DD has skils XY and Z but she still isn't allowed to put her name up there and DD is very upset about this.
 
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cher062

Guest
We have been checking out other gyms and I really like a couple of them. I hate to leave and did not realize how hard it would be to make a change. I almost feel guilty for looking. But I have to think about what is best for Alex.

It sounds like your not happy with what is being offered where you are and you should be looking. You shouldn't feel the least bit guilty. Would you feel guilty changing to a better plumber to work on your pipes? Or going to a better steak house for your meal? Of course not. Choosing the best spot for your child is even more important than these. Do what you think is best for your family and leave the guilt at the door. Oh and when they ask you why you are leaving be honest with them maybe they will think twice if enough people tell them the truth.
 

AlexsGymmyMom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Mar 20, 2009
2,532
USA
no your not making a big deal of this. either everyone gets to put their name when they get a skill or they don't. What was the lame excues because i would be in the owners face next pointing out that my DD has skils XY and Z but she still isn't allowed to put her name up there and DD is very upset about this.

The excuse was that she did not know when Alex got the skill and she may have had it for months so it would have been up to the first coach that saw her to let her put her name up. She should have known since she IS her coach when she had achieved this wouldn't you think? '

Thanks for all the responses, it sure is making my decision to switch more clear!
 

mariposa

Proud Parent
Proud Parent
Sep 25, 2007
3,529
Country
USA
Gym switches are really hard, we just went through it a few months ago. We loved many things about her gym, but many things were just not right. I felt really guilty for looking and even worse when we left, but I really felt like we were doing the right thing and we were right!

I thought she was really happy there, but now, seeing her at a gym that truly "fits her", I realize she wasn't as happy as I though. She really is a different kid at the gym now and she gets attention regardless of the fact that she isn't the super talented one. She gets just as much turns, help and recognition as the naturally talented/amazing girls.

Don't feel guilty for doing what is best for your daughter. Being in a different type of gym has made a HUGE difference in Abby as a gymnast and person. She is in a gym that is always positive. The coaches are great. She is happy. She is progressing, improving her form by leaps and bounds and is much stronger. She is really in the best gym for her and it has made all the difference.

That excuse was lame. She obviously has lots of skills, why isn't her name up for at least one of them?? New gym doesn't do the gong or anything. I did love it, some kids thrive on that and really wanted to hit it for any big skill and others didn't. I liked that it was the kids choice.

DDs new gym has a 9.0 Board. After each meet, anyone who got a 9.0 on an event is listed up there under that meet. A mom handles it all and keeps it up to date. They also post when girls move up on a different board. Very fair. Which is how it should be. Not just for the "popular" kids.

Good luck finding a new gym. Definitely do your homework as you don't want to do it again if you don't have to. It was still a little of an adjustment for my daughter, but now she never even mentions her old gym.
 

Monkeygirlsmom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Feb 10, 2007
764
I would soo switch gyms! it will be 2 years ago this fall that we switched gyms and it was the best thing we did! my girls are with teh best coaches yet they are supportive and all!the other team mates do too I love them they get excited when the girls get skills
I know when I walked into he gym all I hear from team mates and also coaches about how dd got her back handspring it was great
they seem soo excited for one another

So yes if thye have a board they need to be consistent with all the kids
 
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cathiann

Guest
The excuse alone would make me want to switch--shows me she's not keeping track of my DD's progress and doesn't know where she's at. I'd definitely be looking at other gyms!
 

Caligirlzz

Member
Jun 4, 2009
155
Chicago
I agree with mariposa. It sounds as if your gym plays by it's own rules and not allowing a little girl to add her name to the board after succeding is very wrong. I would confront the owner in some way without being defensive and see what happens. I am sorry this happen to you, it's always a heartbreaker when our kids are sad.
 
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gymgramma

Guest
Since you have already looked at some other gyms, it's time to take DD for a trial class or better yet, a trial week at the gyms you have in mind!
 

AlexsGymmyMom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Mar 20, 2009
2,532
USA
WOW, and I thought maybe I was just being overly sensitive. I guess my instinct was correct. There is alot of favoritism there and it does get a little old. Most of the time the coaches say nothing to some of the moms but talk up a storm to others. Alex has done a couple of practices at other gyms and 1 in particular has contacted me multiple times because she really wants Alex to join the team. This is the head coach. We have gone to 2 gyms and have 1 more to go to. Luckily where we live there are about 5 or 6 gyms within 20 min. of my house.

Thanks so much for all your responses! I will keep you up to date with what we are going to do!
 
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nettyinpa

Guest
I know you've already made up your mind and my 2 cents won't make a difference but I just wanted to say I feel your pain. When my dd was a level 4 her coaches put up a poster for each event. If your dd didn't have their name on it by the first meet they wouldn't be competing that event at that meet. Well, my dd didn't have her name on there at all about a week before the meet. She was so upset. I wanted to pull her out but didn't. What really upset me the most was that every girl competed. Those posters didn't mean a darned thing. I wondered if the coaches thought maybe this would motivate them or something? I was is such disbelief about that whole mess.

I can also relate to the favoritism. It's so upsetting to see your dd working just as hard as everyone else but not get the little extra coaching or the ability to try new skills. I mean, they're all on the same team, aren't they? She isn't and never will be the best on the team but no need to treat her that way.

On another note, I will say we have very supportive families at our gym. They've been doing some TOPS training over the past few weeks. DD has a beautiful handstand when she does it right. Well, I was away for 4 days at federal jury duty so I missed her practice one night. Well, of course that was the night she held it for 28 seconds!!! :eek: And all the moms were looking for me, clapping for her. They couldn't wait to tell me so they called me on my cell phone! That kind of thing makes it all worth it.

Sorry to be so wordy. I hope everything works out for the best and your dd ends up somewhere where she'll be noticed and seen for the great gymnast she is!
 
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Jan 22, 2008
437
We have had things like this happen quite often. DD was the first of the Lev 4 to get her cartwheel on the high beam and they NEVER rang the bell. HUGE thing like the board in our gym. DD will be doing something for like a month before they do it. It is almost like they want to torture her a bit and make sure it isn't a fluke. It could be because she got it during open gym and not practice. I am not saying it is right but there maybe something with why they are holding out for her. With all the new skills DD has gotten she hasn't had a single bell ring even when she was one of 5 of the ENTIRE team including optionals that was landing her ariel in one practice. (bad day for 6-8). All she got was a pat on the back from the coach and no bell ring. I hope this makes sense. Best of luck and tell your gymmie to keep her chin high. She will get that name up there.
 
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BlairBob

Guest
I've been meaning to make one of these as currently our rec program doesn't have any provision for skill charts or anything. No budget at all from the owners. I've thought about trying to do it myself but I like the idea of a board for pass-offs ( mostly strength and conditioning ). I may do one for skills as well.

Personally, I got really sick of the bell and I think a lot of the kids did. It became a huge disruption to have to have the entire gym stop and watch a kid try and then clap every 10m. As well, I think they began to just tune it out and became ho-hum about it.
 
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