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L10 Senior losing interest in college

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L10 mom

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Please don't jump on me I admit that I am definitely wishing my daughter would do college gymnastics I can't imagine her not doing it She is a level 10 senior I do make it clear to her that the decision is ultimately hers and I will be absolutely ok with whatever it is.

She was on the top of the world until high school All of the awards and accolades Bright future ahead Then once high school started she has been plagued with injuries Not chronic injuries that college coaches are scared of, just acute ones like a Tommy John's injury.

She has persevered like a model gymnast and leader She has worked as hard as possible whether rehabilitation or gymnastics skills In fact she's been team captain every year despite not competing much at all She hasn't competed a whole season since 8th grade. But she kept going and achieved L10

Obviously we have shifted our goals D3 is our aim She is just not sure about doing it anymore. And I can't blame her on the one hand

Here's why I so want her to do D3 (despite my obviously selfish reasons) She worked to hard her whole life to end at the bottom. She deserves the highs the cheers the many things that come with being a normal healthy competing gymnast.

I'm taking her to tour the schools anyway She said she can't decide until after this season which would be too late to do the trip.

So, just looking for suggestions input, just please don't bash me I already recognize my selfish reasons and hide them from her.

Thanks so much
 
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GAgymmom

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Please don't jump on me I admit that I am definitely wishing my daughter would do college gymnastics I can't imagine her not doing it She is a level 10 senior I do make it clear to her that the decision is ultimately hers and I will be absolutely ok with whatever it is.

She was on the top of the world until high school All of the awards and accolades Bright future ahead Then once high school started she has been plagued with injuries Not chronic injuries that college coaches are scared of, just acute ones like a Tommy John's injury.

She has persevered like a model gymnast and leader She has worked as hard as possible whether rehabilitation or gymnastics skills In fact she's been team captain every year despite not competing much at all She hasn't competed a whole season since 8th grade. But she kept going and achieved L10

Obviously we have shifted our goals D3 is our aim She is just not sure about doing it anymore. And I can't blame her on the one hand

Here's why I so want her to do D3 (despite my obviously selfish reasons) She worked to hard her whole life to end at the bottom. She deserves the highs the cheers the many things that come with being a normal healthy competing gymnast.

I'm taking her to tour the schools anyway She said she can't decide until after this season which would be too late to do the trip.

So, just looking for suggestions input, just please don't bash me I already recognize my selfish reasons and hide them from her.

Thanks so much
This is exactly my/our story. I totally and completely understand. Unfortunately, her last injury caused her to retire. It was like a death in the family (judge all you want, that's what it's like when you've gotten that far). I hope things work out for the best, whatever they may be.
 

L10 mom

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This is exactly my/our story. I totally and completely understand. Unfortunately, her last injury caused her to retire. It was like a death in the family (judge all you want, that's what it's like when you've gotten that far). I hope things work out for the best, whatever they may be.

You are exactly right. A death in the family Gymnastics has been her (and our) life for her entire life. I can't imagine it not being a part of our lives. No judgment here I totally get it Just because we make it clear that it is their decision and we will be absolutely happy about it either way that doesn't mean that we don't have our own wants and opinions. I live in fear of the career ending injury I can only imagine.
 

Madden3

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Is she loosing interest in doing gymnastics in college, or in going to college at all right now? Or in going away to college?
 
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L10 mom

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Is she loosing interest in doing gymnastics in college, or in going to college at all right now? Or in going away to college?
Good question. Best I can tell she's losing interest in gymnastics But, and this is a big but, I don't think it's gymnastics she's tired of at all. She's tired of always being injured tired of the stress of being behind and trying to feel like she is even a 10 She's tired of always moving forward then losing what she's learned and having to work hard just to get to where she was. Lately she is feeling like she's just not making progress at all.

But, in my opinion that's different from being tired of gymnastics itself She's tired of the hand she keeps getting dealt. I am so hopeful that if she can have, finally, an entire year of competition this year and really do well all those feelings will go away

She is hesitant to go *that* far away from Alabama (she'd have to go up north ) but definitely wants distance from the family.. And I think she's excited about college but I don't think it's real to her yet. I remember when I was her age. It wasn't real to me either
 
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John

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I just would like to say I understand and would want the same for my daughter. Having attended college, and having a less than stellar time, in my mind I imagine college being more enjoyable being part of a team This team thought I hope would make college more comfortable by having a new family at college. Just my crazy parent thoughts.
 

B&M's mom

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I understand your feelings as I just went through something similar with my DD but there can be a happy ending.. At the beginning of her junior year my DD announced that she wanted to leave gymnastics. Even though I supported the decision, it was so hard to see her walk away from the sport that she had dedicated so much to. She was a multi year L10 who had been in the midst of elite qualifications when the injuries started piling up. She worked through rehab in an effort to return but was only able to compete 2 events her last year. After her third knee surgery, she decided enough was enough. It was heartbreaking to see her walk away so close to her goal of college gymnastics. I also didn't realize how much I would be affected by the decision as the other parents basically ignored us after she left. I get that they didn't want to see someone walk away because it could be their daughter next but it was hard on me to lose relationships. Ironically, I'm still in touch with the coaches who are still cheering my daughter on.

My DD just graduated so we have just gone through the experience of senior year. I understand why you want to take her to see schools but as I learned, it's no longer our journey, it's really theirs. I had to let my DD make her own decisions, I could counsel and suggest but when it came down to it, it was her life. Learning to let go was and still is, extremely difficult. I eventually learned to listen to what she was really telling me and let go of my visions of her college experience. But by the time she made her decision, she ended up at a school we are both excited about.

Now, the happy ending part (or at least we hope it is). After my DD decided to leave gymnastics, she had no firm ideas of what she wanted to do. At her high school activity fair, she bumped into the swim/dive team table where they encouraged her to join the dive team, no experience needed. Which was frankly good as she had never dove before. After the first one hour practice, she came home all excited and happy. Turned out that she was pretty good at it. By the end of the high school season, she had broken the school record that was 25+ years old (ok, not a diving powerhouse), taken second in her conference, qualified to and placed at sectionals and states (the first time her high school had anyone do that). After season, she started training with a club that wouldn't let her compete as she was too "old" for the team and didn't have a great technique, at least yet. But within a couple of months, the head coach was encouraging her to contact colleges, especially D3. Apparently, there are more dive teams that need divers than are available. She started contacting colleges and got an invite for a visit from a couple. She went on one and was totally thrilled. Her senior dive season went even better. In addition to the D3 schools she was applying to, she also applied to our state university which is D1. After sectionals and states where she placed even higher, we found out that state school coach was interested in her. Because it was late in in the recruiting process they did not offer any money however, she did receive some nice packages from the D3 schools. She ultimately went with the state school because of her future plans. So, come September she'll be diving in a D1 program, something we never thought possible. She's so excited!

She is not the first gymnastic who has done this. One gymnast from her gym went straight from gymnastics to diving in college with no training. She has done extremely well. Another is now rowing for her college and loving it. I've heard of gymnasts who go into track and field and are competition ready quickly. So, there is hope that if she wants, your daughter can do college sports even if it's not gymnastics.

Sorry this is so long but I wanted to let you know that if she wants to walk away, there are other opportunities open to her. (and the best thing about diving, she had two complete seasons with no diving related injuries!!!!!)
 

sce

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Good question. Best I can tell she's losing interest in gymnastics But, and this is a big but, I don't think it's gymnastics she's tired of at all. She's tired of always being injured tired of the stress of being behind and trying to feel like she is even a 10 She's tired of always moving forward then losing what she's learned and having to work hard just to get to where she was. Lately she is feeling like she's just not making progress at all.

But, in my opinion that's different from being tired of gymnastics itself She's tired of the hand she keeps getting dealt. I am so hopeful that if she can have, finally, an entire year of competition this year and really do well all those feelings will go away

She is hesitant to go *that* far away from Alabama (she'd have to go up north ) but definitely wants distance from the family.. And I think she's excited about college but I don't think it's real to her yet. I remember when I was her age. It wasn't real to me either
Maybe she should look into schools with club teams. Much less pressure to stay at a certain skill level, more of the fun of gymnastics.
 

Madden3

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She is hesitant to go *that* far away from Alabama (she'd have to go up north ) but definitely wants distance from the family.. And I think she's excited about college but I don't think it's real to her yet. I remember when I was her age. It wasn't real to me either
Maybe it would help to take a trip together to visit some colleges? Have you done that yet? I do not mean visiting the gym coaches (necessarily) but just the college itself. Maybe visiting a few possibilities will help make college more real for her and also increase her overall excitement about going. Fall is generally a good season for making these kinds of visits (especially if you will be somewhere with great fall foliage) but also due to the general excitement in the air due to the start of a new year with new possibilities for everyone. Such a trip could give her a short break from gym practice and give you both a chance to talk more about her concerns re: gymnastics, and comparing different colleges might help her focus on what she most wants from her college experience.
 
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L10 mom

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Maybe it would help to take a trip together to visit some colleges? Have you done that yet? I do not mean visiting the gym coaches (necessarily) but just the college itself. Maybe visiting a few possibilities will help make college more real for her and also increase her overall excitement about going. Fall is generally a good season for making these kinds of visits (especially if you will be somewhere with great fall foliage) but also due to the general excitement in the air due to the start of a new year with new possibilities for everyone. Such a trip could give her a short break from gym practice and give you both a chance to talk more about her concerns re: gymnastics, and comparing different colleges might help her focus on what she most wants from her college experience.
Oh boy, is that in the works! We are visiting about 8 schools I have a spreadsheet that plans it all out She will be taking the campus tour, meeting all the college /academic people, then meeting the coaches and sometimes team members Then she will be watching practice. We will be gone from September 12th to, I believe, the 25th or 26th Huge trip. She isn't in a place skills wise where she can voluntary narrow it down. And, I agree about fall I want her to see the school in full regular mode. It's ridiculously expensive and I honestly don't know how we will afford it, but I don't think it's fair to her any other way
 

L10 mom

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Oh boy, is that in the works! We are visiting about 8 schools I have a spreadsheet that plans it all out She will be taking the campus tour, meeting all the college /academic people, then meeting the coaches and sometimes team members Then she will be watching practice. We will be gone from September 12th to, I believe, the 25th or 26th Huge trip. She isn't in a place skills wise where she can voluntary narrow it down. And, I agree about fall I want her to see the school in full regular mode. It's ridiculously expensive and I honestly don't know how we will afford it, but I don't think it's fair to her any other way
Oh, and because it's so long away from the gym, I've scheduled for her to get some practice in at club gyms along the way
 
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John

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@L10 mom I am going to play devil's advocate, apologies.

Maybe she should be planning the trip? Deciding on the schools and determining what the itinerary should be are her tasks. Maybe you can make educated suggestions while trying to remember this is her college experience. Be her advisor and answer her questions, do not insist on anything, you do not want her to run from her OWN future. I try to remember this with my daughter's gymnastics, she is 11. I do have a 23 old son who chose his own path after graduating, it was not a path I would have chosen for him but it is his life. If he is always doing right what he decides can't be wrong?

Speaking from my own history, my folks wanted college more than I or my brother, parental desire is a huge burden to shoulder. Sometimes kids need to figure out what they want on their own. I made it through college first try, first long try. My older brother needed two tries to complete college. The first was at 18 and the second at 25.
 

GAgymmom

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You are exactly right. A death in the family Gymnastics has been her (and our) life for her entire life. I can't imagine it not being a part of our lives. No judgment here I totally get it Just because we make it clear that it is their decision and we will be absolutely happy about it either way that doesn't mean that we don't have our own wants and opinions. I live in fear of the career ending injury I can only imagine.
I wasn't meaning you would judge me, I knew you would understand. But there are others who can't help it. :)
 
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NutterButter

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Sr year is a scary time in a kid's life. So many unknowns ahead and most start to become aware that the clock is ticking till graduation and this in itself causes stress separate from the what will I study, where will I go questions.

Good question. Best I can tell she's losing interest in gymnastics But, and this is a big but, I don't think it's gymnastics she's tired of at all. She's tired of always being injured tired of the stress of being behind and trying to feel like she is even a 10 She's tired of always moving forward then losing what she's learned and having to work hard just to get to where she was. Lately she is feeling like she's just not making progress at all.
But, in my opinion that's different from being tired of gymnastics itself She's tired of the hand she keeps getting dealt. I am so hopeful that if she can have, finally, an entire year of competition this year and really do well all those feelings will go away
I quoted the part above because it seems like you contradict yourself. What you describe as her frustrations - the injuries, the stress and worry of 'keeping up' and maintaining a certain level of performance so that she can be competitive at her level -- I hate to be this blunt, but that IS L10. Even if she is healthy and able to compete all year, the stress and worry will still be at play. I'm inclined to think based on all that you've shared that she may know exactly what she wants regarding retirement from gym.

I think it's a good idea to visit the schools. I agree with @Madden3 that 8 will be overwhelming. Given that she's unsure about gymnastics, I would also suggest that you don't make the entire trip about visiting schools with gymnastics programs. If she hasn't already, she should visit some schools that she is interested in that don't have gymnastics. I also like the advice that @John had regarding parental desire.

I'm sorry if I'm coming across as harsh. No judgement here as I can relate to your post. I'm a year behind you in the college process and my DD will be lucky to hit L10 for her senior year. She would like to compete D3 but is realistic that it may not happen. Lately she's had some crazy, exciting ideas for college. It's not what I expected from her but I'm embracing it and taking her lead as she explores. As others have mentioned, club gymnastics could be another way for her to stay involved in the sport. Or she could coach and/or become a judge.
 

MILgymFAM

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I’ve got nothing on the competing in college part, but I wanted to throw out that a huge, long, expensive, overfilled college tour trip is just going to be more pressure. We’ve visited three schools back to back with my DD and it was too much- she started losing what was special or unique about them because it blurred together a bit. Personally, I don’t think it’s a good idea to push College gym to a girl who is burnt out, but I really don’t think it’s a good idea to cram 8 schools into one trip.
 

Flipfloppy

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I quoted the part above because it seems like you contradict yourself. What you describe as her frustrations - the injuries, the stress and worry of 'keeping up' and maintaining a certain level of performance so that she can be competitive at her level -- I hate to be this blunt, but that IS L10. Even if she is healthy and able to compete all year, the stress and worry will still be at play. I'm inclined to think based on all that you've shared that she may know exactly what she wants regarding retirement from gym.
As a different perspective, I was in exactly that place at 18 - tired of being chronically injured, stressed about "keeping up" and tired of no longer being competitive - which was hard to separate at the time from my feelings about the sport. I kept saying that I didn't want to quit but I didn't want to compete anymore. I had already begun training to become an official, but I was miserable preparing for my last competitive season. When I finally recognized how inappropriate my coach's behavior towards me was, I left and found a masters club that allowed me to train with them, even though one can't compete as a "masters" athlete in my sport until age 25. One of my criteria for picking a college was that I could find another masters club that would let me train even though I was under 25. I competed in a few local club meets in college, but focused on college and becoming an official. For a few years after I turned 25, I was a very competitive masters athlete until the old injuries took a toll and I chose, after a few years away, to go back to my sport as a recreational masters athlete. My continued involvement as both an official and an athlete, after all these years, is one of the best parts of my life.
 

gymgal

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We just came back from visiting 3 colleges and it was overwhelming. I can't imagine 8. Good luck to you. I know it is a struggle when you live so far away and need to make it work. It is not optimal but it is doable, especially given the amount of travel time you are giving to it. I really would try to get her to narrow it down a bit though. There is so much on the websites now in terms of the schools (virtual tours, majors, etc) that she may be able to eliminate a couple. And certainly talking to the coaches ahead of time to see where she is on their "want" list. If she is way down, it may not even be worth the visit. One thing we were really surprised by is the lack of aid available at state schools for out of state students. Not much need based aid at all and even less scholarship aid. So if that is an issue, it may help to eliminate some schools.
 
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