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skschlag

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Jul 19, 2011
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I still can’t see how some of you try and call me out about My gym My thoughts My daughter. It’s a reason why a lot of people in this forum don’t really speak their minds. Some of you really are here to help and give advice when there’s a lot of you who really SEEM jealous. But it is what it is
SO, I think I get what you are saying. You are saying that with your daughter, if she was not as serious as she is, you would not be at the gym you are at. You would be a different gym, and celebrating her just the same as you do now. However, it sometimes does come across as harsh on kiddos that might not be achieving at the same level as your daughter. So people get defensive. I understand where you are coming from, but sometimes I have had to step back and not take offense to the way you say things.
 

duyetanh

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Feb 21, 2015
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So can you tell me please how do you get a 35 or below if everything was right?
Not being snarky, but first off, no one does “everything” right according to scores. A score of 40 doesn’t happen in JO. Yes perfect 10s get handed out more liberally in college, but if you watch the videos, there are even some errors in those routines. Even Simone “the GOAT” Biles isn’t perfect. BUT, this said, it is possible to get a 35 or below if everything is right. Because doing everything right isn’t necessarily about the scores. But it is not something you would understand (and I am not saying this rudely), so I am not going to take the time to write the novel. Everyone has different perspectives. This is mine. :)
 

GAgymmom

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Oct 25, 2010
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So can you tell me please how do you get a 35 or below if everything was right?
Well, some states overscore some gyms or all gyms. I’ve seen it on YouTube, where a compulsory gymnast scored a 10.00 with steps, bent legs, bent arms, etc.; so while one state gets 9.6, in another state they’d get a 9.2, so you can’t use a set score as a litmus test for serious vs not-as-serious.
 

mom2newgymnast

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Jul 8, 2014
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I still can’t see how some of you try and call me out about My gym My thoughts My daughter. It’s a reason why a lot of people in this forum don’t really speak their minds. Some of you really are here to help and give advice when there’s a lot of you who really SEEM jealous. But it is what it is
I'm honestly not jealous. Your daughter is very talented. I've seen your posts here and on facebook groups. I know you are very proud of her and she obviously is doing amazing. Perhaps you don't realize it, but your posts often sound condenscending though. We are all proud of our gymnasts, whether they are scoring 38+ and training 8/9/Hopes at age 10 or not. You are pretty much saying that if others aren't achieving similar results then why are they even competing. And others are just trying to say in *their* opinions, which are as valid to them as yours are to you, gymnastics is about a lot more than high scores and winning. Of course you are entitled to your opinion just as we all are. But when you are frequently pointing out how much money you spend, how your dd's gym expects high scores and podium finishes, how if your daughter wasn't winning you wouldn't pay for her to be there anymore, how you honestly don't understand how someone could not make it to regionals, how anyone scoring under a 35 can't be a good gymnast, etc.. you can't really be surprised when some people get a little defensive, can you?
 

amiandjim

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Apr 18, 2015
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I'm honestly not jealous. Your daughter is very talented. I've seen your posts here and on facebook groups. I know you are very proud of her and she obviously is doing amazing. Perhaps you don't realize it, but your posts often sound condenscending though. We are all proud of our gymnasts, whether they are scoring 38+ and training 8/9/Hopes at age 10 or not. You are pretty much saying that if others aren't achieving similar results then why are they even competing. And others are just trying to say in *their* opinions, which are as valid to them as yours are to you, gymnastics is about a lot more than high scores and winning. Of course you are entitled to your opinion just as we all are. But when you are frequently pointing out how much money you spend, how your dd's gym expects high scores and podium finishes, how if your daughter wasn't winning you wouldn't pay for her to be there anymore, how you honestly don't understand how someone could not make it to regionals, how anyone scoring under a 35 can't be a good gymnast, etc.. you can't really be surprised when some people get a little defensive, can you?
All of this. Thank you for saying it so well.
 

Ty’s Dad

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Aug 3, 2017
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I'm honestly not jealous. Your daughter is very talented. I've seen your posts here and on facebook groups. I know you are very proud of her and she obviously is doing amazing. Perhaps you don't realize it, but your posts often sound condenscending though. We are all proud of our gymnasts, whether they are scoring 38+ and training 8/9/Hopes at age 10 or not. You are pretty much saying that if others aren't achieving similar results then why are they even competing. And others are just trying to say in *their* opinions, which are as valid to them as yours are to you, gymnastics is about a lot more than high scores and winning. Of course you are entitled to your opinion just as we all are. But when you are frequently pointing out how much money you spend, how your dd's gym expects high scores and podium finishes, how if your daughter wasn't winning you wouldn't pay for her to be there anymore, how you honestly don't understand how someone could not make it to regionals, how anyone scoring under a 35 can't be a good gymnast, etc.. you can't really be surprised when some people get a little defensive, can you?
Honestly I can see both sides. But I wasn’t trying to make anyone feel bad or feel my daughter is better then their daughter. Ive been on both sides, first year of competing she was in last place every single meet and cheered like she won the Olympics. Now at her new gym I’m the same way like everyone should be of their kid.
 
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mommyof1

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Jan 31, 2012
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I still can’t see how some of you try and call me out about My gym My thoughts My daughter. It’s a reason why a lot of people in this forum don’t really speak their minds. Some of you really are here to help and give advice when there’s a lot of you who really SEEM jealous. But it is what it is
There are a number of veteran parents of very successful gymnasts who post here and are consistently gracious and down-to-earth. They share their children's successes in a way that allows the rest of the community to share in the joy.
 

ldw4mlo

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Feb 13, 2015
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Interesting a very quick look at my meet scores, not exact data (and yes I am aware they train differently) but interesting snap shots. Looked up a few of my kids favs,

Simone Biles personal bests at Level 8/9 36.5/36.2, with a personal best on beam listed at 8.7
Morgan Hurd scored 34-36 with her personal best at level 9 listed at 34.675
Riley McCusker 34-36 in lower levels.

Also when looking at scores and levels of gyms. Its important to take into account size and how many kids in total and how many are gone by upper optionals.

So a larger gym with about 30 level 10, wow they must awesome. They also have 600-700 kids as listed meetscores. So thats about 4% of their kids.

A smaller gym, my kids gym as an example, we have had a couple of level 10s, but only about 80 kids as listed on meetscores. About 2%
 

Sk8ermaiden

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May 6, 2013
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And I've never seen anyone appear to be jealous of those parents or their gymnasts.
Yes, we have moms of children farther along the elite journey than your daughter, or even already through it and retired and they never put down the other gymnasts in their posts. And they absolutely come in here and brag on their kids - they're loud and proud of their children's amazing talent and success - but they never say or imply that gymnasts on other paths are less worthy than their own.

I can tell from your posts that you truly don't think you're putting down other gymnasts. That's clear from the fact that you keep trying to say "I never said that" - but you very clearly did, in black and white and people can quote it. Crying jealousy when called out instead of looking at your own words is a cop out. There's a reason people are reacting the way they are to you and not to the other parents of amazingly successful gymnasts. Whatever you "mean" to say - it's not what you're actually saying and what you actually say is all we have to go on.
 

Sk8ermaiden

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May 6, 2013
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Interesting a very quick look at my meet scores, not exact data (and yes I am aware they train differently) but interesting snap shots. Looked up a few of my kids favs,

Simone Biles personal bests at Level 8/9 36.5/36.2, with a personal best on beam listed at 8.7
Morgan Hurd scored 34-36 with her personal best at level 9 listed at 34.675
Riley McCusker 34-36 in lower levels.

Also when looking at scores and levels of gyms. Its important to take into account size and how many kids in total and how many are gone by upper optionals.

So a larger gym with about 30 level 10, wow they must awesome. They also have 600-700 kids as listed meetscores. So thats about 4% of their kids.

A smaller gym, my kids gym as an example, we have had a couple of level 10s, but only about 80 kids as listed on meetscores. About 2%
There are a number of gyms who do elite who seem to view JO competitions as a distraction on the way to the main goal and do not put much emphasis on how the girls perform at them at all. Much less bump talented girls to Xcel if they don't made a certain score.

The gym Simone came from is local to me and they have NEVER averaged 36 or higher at any upper level. Things could have changed, but when my friend was there they also paid NO meet fees and NO uniform fees because the booster club covered it - their tuition was subsidized by the booster club as well and was low. Their level 8-10s go 25 hours.

One person may be happy at a high $, high intensity gym, but that doesn't mean they should write off different styles of gym as less than. A gymnast doesn't have to go a million hours and pay a million dollars to be successful. If the gymnast has the talent and good coaching, she can shine anywhere.
 

Ty’s Dad

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Aug 3, 2017
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Once again I’m talking about MY DAUGHTERS GYM

The Standards My Daughters Gym Has

Has nothing to do with
Your Gym
Your Daughter
Your scores
Your time
 

gymnastmom05

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Oct 27, 2015
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I really think the thread on jealousy applies here- a perfect example. It’s all in how a parent communicates. Sometimes it’s unknowingly pushing parents away. I think this entire thread has been a perfect example of what each side has said and then each side having a different interpretation. I don’t think most parents on here are jealous and I’m guessing the other poster isn’t meaning to sound so ‘matter of fact’ when he speaks of his daughters gym but he does appear to come off that way to a number of posters. Just goes to show to me that no, not everyone is a victim of jealousy and sometime those parents that appear to be a tad arrogant might not mean to be...but sometimes a little humility and a slight change of words can help.
 

LJL07

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Jan 27, 2014
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I don’t know what the gym would do if a gymnast scored under a 35 or 36. I just know the gym has a standard and the won’t move you if you have that. Correct me if I’m wrong but if a gymnast scores under a 35 without a fall doesn’t that mean they not doing a skill right?
I think your child is in some kind of elite program. A 36 is pretty solid in certain parts of the country on levels 4&5. I've seen some pretty talented young gymnasts get high 35s in levels 8 and 9 without falls. Agreed that maybe form or technique might not be the cleanest but it gets VERY hard. Moving a kid to xcel over a 36 is extremely crazy to me.
 

LJL07

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Jan 27, 2014
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I think your child is in some kind of elite program. A 36 is pretty solid in certain parts of the country on levels 4&5. I've seen some pretty talented young gymnasts get high 35s in levels 8 and 9 without falls. Agreed that maybe form or technique might not be the cleanest but it gets VERY hard. Moving a kid to xcel over a 36 is extremely crazy to me.
Oh boy. I missed the two pages in between. Sometimes CB hides posts when I go to the end to respond. Sorry to add to this. In conclusion, the sport gets very, very hard for pretty much everyone, even children on the TOPS A team. There might come a day when you are just happy your child safely completed a level 10 bar routine.
 

sevenatenine2

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Dec 22, 2013
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My middle daughter was probably my gymnast with the most talent out of all of my children. However, she didn't really care. She wanted to do well and enjoyed meets, but resented having to leave her neighborhood friends playing outside to go to practice. The coaches being tough just seemed mean to her. There were a few comments from there that were questionable, but I don't think her coaches were mean for the most part, they were just very serious and demanding and my kid didn't enjoy it.

When I finally decided to switch her to a gym with an XCEL program, I told the coaches that she was just unhappy with the training hours etc. Their response was the same as the other few times I'd spoken to them. Basically, "Not all kids can handle it," and "It takes a dedication to be a champion, and that's what separates champions from just the mediocre," etc. They were not mean, but they were very dismissive. I think this is common in the culture.

For me, it took a while (like longer than it actually should have) to not be kind of...........irritated, for lack of a better word?..........with my daughter. She was so talented. Why was she okay with being mediocre? Was she so lazy she didn't want to work hard enough to be a champion? She could have done it!

So she goes to the Xcel program and lasts many more years and got lots of cool skills and won lots of meets. We went to lots of really exciting meets. We won some team trophies. Gymnastics was still not her life, but she enjoyed her time. If she would have stayed at the old gym, she would have maybe lasted on more year and been miserable there anyway.

And now that she's older? When she's cheering, you can not tell any difference between she and the former Level 7 champion that's also on the field. No difference. Once they're done, they're done, and all they have are the memories and they better be good ones.

And as far as being okay with mediocre? Why shouldn't we be? Life isn't all about everything you can achieve, but about being happy and enjoying the ride. I'm in a career that, if I gave up evenings and weekends with my family, I could be a lot further, but I won't sacrifice that. Why was I so irritated with my CHILD who wanted to make the same choice? It was because of the culture of "Kids that can handle this are better than the ones that aren't." They're not. I hope all the kids get everything out of gymnastics that they want to, but if your kid is an Elite athlete, it means your child is better AT GYMNASTICS than mine........not at life. :) I'm not pointing fingers at anybody, I'm just saying I think people are kind of touchy about that because of the superiority that coaches and some parents enjoy with the kids on the JO Level 10/Elite track. I don't feel any kind of qualms anymore, but it took me a little bit, so I think I understand.
 

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