Parents Losing skills, I'm frustrated, she's frustrated...what to do?

[cadybearsmommy]

Hi guys, it's been a while since I posted but I'm just at a loss and need some advice. My dd had a great year in pre-team last year, the only skill she lacked to be considered for team was her back handspring. After a couple of months of weekly private lessons she was able to get it consistently. (there was one time in the middle that she got it, then lost it, but it came back pretty easily.) She was invited to join Level 3 team.

Well it's been a rough summer. =( Like most girls on her team, she started out the summer lacking just a couple of the level 3 skills. She didn't have her front hip circle, or her beam dismount (the twisting to the other side.) I thought after a summer of working hard, these skills would come more easily, but if anything she has regressed.

The first part of the summer was spent on perfecting the very basics, perfect handstands, cartwheels, etc. They only recently starting reworking the skills within the past 6 weeks or so. She still doesn't have the beam dismount, although the rest of her team does. None of them have the front hip circle. She now needs a light spot on the front mill when she didn't before. And since they haven't consistently been working back handsprings, she has now not only lost that skill but developed a major fear of it too. At this rate she will never be read to compete by November, and she is frustrated, I am frustrated and have probably put more pressure on her than I should, I'm just not sure what is going to happen, will they take her off team if she doesn't have these skills in time?

 

[Deleted member 14190]

thats a hard one, but in the mean time try not putting any pressure on her at all. Eliminate ALL privates for the back handspring. Make sure you are not in the gym. And speak to the coaches about potentially scratching her from the first meet. All of these suggestions are going to reduce pressure and anxiety, which is the ONLY reason she is not throwing her back handspring. Don't worry about the mill and front hip, that will come and feel free to do privates for those. In fact getting those will help with the back handspring, (mentally). But avoid the back handspring and treat it like an injury, it needs time to heal.... Hope that helps.

 

[ladybird]

treat it like an injury, it needs time to heal....

Coachp, this is a really interesting way to look at fear of skills. I may have to try this with my daughter's fear of the cross handstand on the beam!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Anxiety and fear go hand in hand. Fear can be worked through, but anxiety can overtake the mind and body. Leading to a spiraling black hole of self doubt and ultimate failure. TIME and removal of additional stress are critical. It is important to note that fear alone needs to be worked over and over, example; handstands on beam The anxiety that I am referring to is when a child will no longer throw/connect a trick and doesn't understand why, ( Balking ) Example, RO back tuck, RO back handspring, release move, dismount on bars, BHS BHS on beam etc...

 

[JMACAZ]

My DD had a similar issue with thr ROBHS. We also did privates and I will admit at one time I even offered to $20 if she would do it. After talking with her coach we decided just not to have to her try to do it at all. After season was over and summer practices started she asked the coach if she could try it. Coach spotted her once or twice and that was it. She now can to it beautifully. I realized witht he coaches help it had to be on her terms. Good luck to your DD and I think coachp and some great advcie

 

[htimcj]

November is still a long ways off. Most of those skills will get there. The fear issue on the BHS would be to go back to basics. Not a coach but have seen that work. Go back to the beginning and work her way back up. Skip the first meet if you need. If is like ours it is a Judge's Cup where awards aren't given out just comments and then the next meet isn't for a month.

 

[cadybearsmommy]

THANK you all for the advice! We will take the advice and not start privates back up for it and I have told her that I am going to stop pressuring her b/c I know how hard she already is on herself. I guess it's hard as parents to realize we just have to step back sometimes and let it be. I'm a micro-manager lol, so that's hard for me but that is my new goal to let go and just let her handle it.

 

[cadybearsmommy]

I think another thing that might have her confidence shaken is some issues with the other girls on her team. One little girl in particular was always telling Cady her back handsprings are sloppy, trying to correct her, just constantly criticizing her and making her feel bad about herself. After putting up with it for some time, we brought it to the coach's attention and the coach had a talk with the whole team about bullying. The next time the little girl made a comment, the coach heard it and the coach LIT into her big time and threatened to have a meeting with her mother and make her sit out the rest of the week's practices, so I am HOPING this won't be an issue any more. Little girls can sure be mean! =(

 

[raenndrops]

Fear can be worked through, but anxiety can overtake the mind and body. Leading to a spiraling black hole of self doubt and ultimate failure. TIME and removal of additional stress are critical.

Older gymmie fell during floor warm ups 02/26/12 on her Ro-BHS-BT (old level 6). She landed on her face/ head. We were a little late. She got there a little stressed. She stretched and went straight to floor warm ups. She had warmed up some of her tumbling and then went for it without a coach on the floor to save time. She fell and didn't do another back tuck, even on a tramp or air track until 05/31/13, when she did some back tucks on the tramp at an open gym. She even tried some tuck 1/2 and was happy. We (the other coaches and I) did not pressure her to work the BT, knowing she put enough pressure (or rather too much) on herself. She still couldn't connect it to anything and at practices, would only do a spotted BT and only on the air track... and now she also has pressure from her mother to put more "tricks" into her routines. Finally, on 08/02/13, she was doing connected RO-BHS-BT on the air track without a spotter. You haven't seen a happier girl then I saw that night Now, to get it back out on the floor and her mother will be happy... I am happy as long as she is having fun. She is competing Xcel Gold just so she doesn't have the pressure of NEEDING a salto on floor.