Making exceptions

[aerialriver]

I wanted to ask all so that anyone who has an opinion on the subject can answer. I am curious how often you as a coach or gym owner make exceptions for people and as a gymnast or parent how often you notice exceptions being made for others. I understand good customer service but what about when it crosses the line safety wise or when it is going to cause other customers to be upset if they find out? I guess I want to know what the norm is. When you make policies on things how often do you go against your own policies to please someone? Like never, sometimes, half the time, most the time?

The examples. Recently own gym owner has allowed several girls to move up because the schedule did not work out for the kid to be in the level they need to be in. To me it is a safety concern because one of them is clearly a level 2 max and she was allowed to be a level 4 because her sister is and then Mom doesn't have to make 2 trips. BTW she is 4 years old and acts 4, obviously she won't compete but she doesn't need to be in with real level 4's 2-3 times her age.

The owner has also made concession to this parent who always complains, about everything and he threatens to take his daughters both preschool age out. He talks bad about the gym to all the other parents in the waiting area and the owner had had enough and said she was going to show him the door. He wanted a meeting to complain and also to try and move his 3 year old up to a level she doesn't belong but instead of showing him the door she let the kid move up and made other special concessions for him as far as the layout of the gym! I don't get this as the guy has 2 little kids there it isn't like he has 2 elites there and will take thousands of dollars with him.

Anyways I see it week after week. The owner tries to make a policy then breaks it for people. So how common is this? Is this how you run a successful gym? Does anyone operate a gym where you make rules and rarely break them? It just reminds me of that children's book "If you give a mouse a cookie" if you keep making exceptions for everyone soon literally EVERYONE will want something special.

And what exceptions will you make regarding levels, class schedule issues, exceeding the number of kids the coach is supposed to have in a class, making special classes for a group of students say level 8’s but then allowing others in it because the parents complain. Anything else you want to add.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

like...NEVER. everyone gets treated the same, consistent and across the board.

 

[CoachTodd]

It's easiest for the gym to have a list that says, "Here are the skills you need to go from level 'A' to level 'B'" and then stick with it.

 

[Aussie_coach]

I make exceptions all the time (not quite like the ones you have mentioned) because not all kids are the same and not all have the same needs. Sure the rule says there is a late fee if the fees aren't paid by a certain date but if someone comes in with a genuine financial problem we will work something out.

Sure we have a set of requirements in order for gymnasts to move up a level but occasionally we make a different decision if we feel something would be better for a particular child.

But when it comes to safety there is no compromise.

It sounds like your owner likes to please everybody, he/she will learn at some stage that is not possible.

 

[GymGirl's Mom]

I think some concessions are made at all gyms. Happy customers make for a thriving business. That said the kind of concessions you are talking about are way over the top. IMO 4 year olds have no place in a Level 4 team- even if they are just training (which obviously is all they can do b/c they aren't old enough to compete). IMO 4 year olds are in a different place in life than 6 and 7 and 8 and up year olds. Also changing a gym layout, etc to please a parent seems overboard. I think moving very young kids up before they are ready skill wise puts the gym in danger, puts the kid in danger, and isn't good/fair for the girls who are ready.

The concessions I think most gyms make are: payment arrangements- heck- not everyone can fork it all over by the 1st of the month- IMO if it's all paid in full at some point in the month and the gymnast has a zero balance on the 31st every month- I think that's fair. Also, I really have no problem with some schedule adjustments- and I think those concessions are made at times too- and example of this is two kids from same family on different schedules-- if gym allows one kid to "uptrain" one day a week with next level up to ease a little bit of the driving burden.

Sorry your gym is doing this.

 

[MaryA]

I think there is a difference between what Aussie_Coach is saying, which I think is more along the lines of...

"Child #1 is really motivated by learning new skills and being constantly challenged, so we will move her to level 5 even though she did not blow the competition out of the water at level 4 but Child #2 is really motivated by winning trophies and needs some additional confidence, so we will leave her at level 4..."

and giving in to the parents who make the biggest stink. Our coaches are also stink-giver-inners. The parents who make the stink get the percs while those of us who are not stink-makers end up getting the short end of the stick. It may save the coaches some headaches in the short run but in the long run it makes for an unpleasant gym environment.

 

[Bajanswife]

The team at DD's gym is small enough that each team member can be treated as an individual i.e. certain concessions may be made for certain reasons. I haven't encountered a situation in which I feel that DD has been treated unfairly because of what others have been allowed to do or not do - DD gets what she needs and what's good for HER, and that's all I really care about. I can see how unequal treatment could get problematic in some situations or some gyms though.

 

[aerialriver]

Too late to edit my post. But I wanted to add I noticed a trend, the owner will make a new class or rule then it gets sabotaged by her people pleasing she blames the coaches and then makes changed to the rule or class.

This happened with a pre level 2 class, it was for kids 3-5 who were too advance for preschool class but not yet ready to compete. But it was supposed to be run like a level 2 class and level 2 skills were to be taught. It worked fine until she starting letting complaining parents with less advanced kids join the class. The coach could no longer teach it as a level 2 prep class as now the kids didn’t have the skills and some were way too young and could not pay attention so it just became another preschool class. She was angry with the coach so she recently changed it. Changed the name changed the staff and now she is already allowing kids who are not ready for it in like the guys kid mentioned above. It is annoying anytime a program goes wrong she doesn’t look at the real reason but instead slaps some make up on it.

 

[gymdog]

4 year old in level 4? Uh, no. There are accommodations, and then there are unreasonable decisions - I would call that unreasonable flat out. I don't do 4 year olds in level 4. Just not going to happen. I don't care if the kid is the next Shawn Johnson either.

 

[lilgymmie7]

4 year old in level 4? Uh, no. There are accommodations, and then there are unreasonable decisions - I would call that unreasonable flat out. I don't do 4 year olds in level 4. Just not going to happen. I don't care if the kid is the next Shawn Johnson either.

My DD WAS a 4 yo level 4. She had all of the skills minus the mill circle prior to being moved up to the level 4 group just to train. She could have competed through the GIJO program, but we opted to not go that route. She was 5 when they moved her up to level 5 and that summer got her kip and all 5 skills. She did compete level 5 GIJO.

But in retrospect and knowing what I know now, I would have put a halt to her early move up. She loved every minute of it, but tends to want more and more from the gym. We are lucky that she is at a gym now that sees how eager she is but is also slowing things up for her at the same time.

While training with the level 4's, she was able to keep up. She had some 4 yo tendencies, but for the most part did well. However, she did get to a point that she started to get bored. Her HC now still uptrains, but seems to be following the same schedule as he has with his other gymnasts.

As for making concessions, why? As a teacher, the louder the parent gets the more subdued I get until that same parent walks away WITHOUT getting his/her way. I can only imagine that giving in to irrate parents will quickly create a negative situation for the child, and more than anything for the child. I have seen some of these parents and for the most part the kids have quit. If the parent is far too upset to see how negatively they impact the child, I would hope the coach could see it and attempt to regulate the situation. The more you give in the more that same parent will keep coming at you. I just wouldn't have the nerve, plus DD would be the biggest loser...

 

[Pickle's Mom]

At our gym, I've been told that the preschool kids had a differentiation because of insurance. The rule is that under 5, they HAVE to be in a preschool class and not on a team. Now, this includes an invite-only Hotshots preschool group that is basically pre-team, but they still train together and on the preschool equipment in a smaller group (no more than 6 kids to a coach).

I wonder if the owner uses insurance as an "out" in case parents request an exception.

 

[gymdog]

My DD WAS a 4 yo level 4. She had all of the skills minus the mill circle prior to being moved up to the level 4 group just to train. She could have competed through the GIJO program, but we opted to not go that route. She was 5 when they moved her up to level 5 and that summer got her kip and all 5 skills. She did compete level 5 GIJO.

That's great! I work with hundreds of kids per session, some of whom are quite physically talented and could learn level 4 skills. I still don't think level 4, particularly a class with 8-12 year olds, is either physically safe or developmentally appropriate. I understand every time I say this I get posts about all the kids who did this or that at 3 and 4, but it hasn't changed my opinion. Unfortunately most preschool programs could be better. But so could a class program that has a 4 year old in the situation described - sorry, it's just not right. Some 4 year olds read, but that doesn't mean they necessarily belong in second grade either. It's not very likely.

 

[gymmom14]

My favorite saying.....Rules without enforcement are just suggestions!

 

[gymgurl]

Our coach has some basic rules but makes some exceptions. Level 4 - 5 are recommended to train 4 times a week and level 6 it is a requirement. However, she does make exceptions, like i will be doing year 12 next year so will be doing my final exams which are really important for me to get into the course i want, so she has allowed me to stay with three days but only because i have dropped bars. She also has various rules e.g. no cartwheels on beam, back walkovers only but has 2 exceptions as one has a huge fear and her back can't bend enough and the other can't do it at all. so she has guidelines more than requirements.

 

[AmandaLynn]

a four year old level 4?? seriously?

Skill level and maturity level aside, level 4 is too physically demanding, too structured and too many hours in the gym for any four year old I've ever come in contact with. At that age, it's about balance, enhancing motor skills, inversion, building confidence (and overcoming fears) and most importantly, FUN!

Many gyms will take kids to a "developmental" program at four, but there is typically much less conditioning, more play, and MANY less hours in the gym. They can't even compete level four until age 7. Why burn them out on the sport before they can even compete?

 

[gymdog]

a four year old level 4?? seriously?

Skill level and maturity level aside, level 4 is too physically demanding, too structured and too many hours in the gym for any four year old I've ever come in contact with. At that age, it's about balance, enhancing motor skills, inversion, building confidence (and overcoming fears) and most importantly, FUN!

Many gyms will take kids to a "developmental" program at four, but there is typically much less conditioning, more play, and MANY less hours in the gym. They can't even compete level four until age 7. Why burn them out on the sport before they can even compete?

They can compete it at age 6, but otherwise I agree

 

[cher062]

My 2 cents worth. I can't say I've seen the extent of the concessions you have described and honestly If I saw these obvious unsafe concessions it would get me thinking what else are they doing that is unsafe with the kids in the right levels? I might consider looking for a new gym that puts safetly first. With that said, a gym is a business too and if the gym has low numbers and really can't afford to loose the income I can see why they do make concessions and bend the rules but still keep it safe.

As far as getting upset with what is happening with other kids and parents - All that does is make me stressed. I've come to the point that I really don't go there if I can help it - so long as my kid is getting the program I've paid for, they are happy and thriving. It can be really unproductive, time consuming and just too stressful to worry about these situations and get into that parent drama.

With that said if it really did bother me I would have no trouble calmly going to the owner and voicing my concerns either but it would have to concern my own child for me to do so.

 

[aerialriver]

For anyone wondering this 4 year old is not some special example of a very advanced mature kid. If anything it is the complete opposite. She cries all the time, and hangs off the coaches more like a toddler. She is in constant need of hugs and reassurance and is always upset over something. Plus this girl doesn't even have a pullover, a level 2 vault, a backward roll or a beam routine. IMHO she needs to be in a bonified preschool class. Or at the very most a non competing level 2. She is only in level 4 as I said because her older sister is and Mom didn't want to have to make seperate trips. Just one example of the consessions made.

So does anyone ever just stand up for their gym and the kids safety and say the dreaded 2 letter word "No"? I think it would be easy. Parent- "My young girl can't come unless she can work out with her higher level sister." Owner- "I am sorry miss ____ but Sally is not ready for level 4, maybe you can find someone to carpool with but we can't allow that because it is not a safe idea for your daughter at this time." Another Parent- "I don't care for the layout of the gym, it is too dirty for my child, the seating is terrible, I hate her coach because she has blonde hair, there is a rip in the carpet, and I want Sally moved up to the hot shot team even though she is 3 and doesn't understand a forward roll yet she is a very mature 3." Owner- "I am so sorry Mr. _____ you seem to really dislike our gym and everything about it. I am so sorry we can't meet your needs at this time, maybe you would have better luck elsewhere. (Silent- Don't let the door hit you on the behind on the way out.) Easy concept to me.

Cher, you were posting at the same time as me. it does concern me not because I have a child there but because I coach there, not as much as I used to but it effects me in the way of I don't feel good about coaching kids to do things they are not ready to do and I get in trouble if I don't. plus some of the naggy parents are after me and the owner doesn't have my back and instead blames for for not making the 4 year old a level 4 when she clearly is not ready. And yes I have talked to the owner the whole staff has as it isn't just a problem I am having. She sticks by her reasoning for allowing these concessions. I am done if nothing changes as it could be my butt on the line if some kid gets hurt.

The point of the post although I got ranty was actually to see if these concessions are normal and basically if I was overreacting. Although I have been involved in gym my whole life I have never been the know about the running of a gym.

 

[AmandaLynn]

They can compete it at age 6, but otherwise I agree

oops. typo. :lol:

 

[lhmom]

DD's gym rarely makes any concessions. HC did once and sorely regretted it-ended up that the HC had to kick the girl off the team because of the parent. HC now basically presents it to all parents as "my way or the highway". Can't blame her after what happened. I'm with cher-as long as my DD is happy and she's getting the coaching that she needs, I'm good.