Welcome to our Gymnastics Community
Wanting to join the rest of our members? Feel free to sign up today.
Sign up

Mine and DD's thoughts are all over the place

Gymnastmomma2010

New Member
Proud Parent
Sep 9, 2019
24
29
Country
USA
So I posted yesterday about my DD wanting to try rhythmic. Which I am all for. But today she came to me with something else. That she really thinks she just wants to switch gyms.

She is 9 and started when she was 6. She started off in XCEL bronze. She was at a gym that only did xcel. The coaches/owners vision was to have a gym for girls whos families couldnt make the commitment to high level training for whatever reason. Finances, other commitments etc. Her Diamond girls only train 12 hours a week. Which I think it's awesome that she does that. My daughter spent 2 years at this gym and only trained 4 hours a week the whole time. After her second season it was very clear she wanted more. We left this gym on ok terms.

She tried out a JO team. She was put on level 4 even though it was 3 months until season and she missing her kip, back extension roll, and had never trained vault with a springboard or the actual vault table. These coaches where worried she'd get bored in level 3. She went from 4 to 12 hours a week. We ended up only spending one season at this gym. DD was being bullied really bad. I tried to talk to the coaches about it. I was told there would be a talk about acting like a team. There never was. After that the coaches avoided me like the plague. The main thing her teammates would do is get together and tell the coach that DD was cheating on conditioning. That would get my daughter in trouble and result in more conditioning and me getting an email. Things finally came to a head when my daughter was in tears because she insisted she had not been cheating and the girld just wanted to get her in trouble and she didn't understand why they didn't like her. I was called in to talk about her future on the team. I was told she had alot of potential but if conditioning was a problem and if she couldnt start taking it seriously, then her spot was in jeapordy. I asked if they would pull recordings on the most recent incident, and it proved that in fact DD's teammates were lying on her as they could see DD doing all of her conditioning. My daughter did not receive an apology and we did not go back after that.

Now, my daughter had a very poor level 4 year. Her highest AA score was a 34. She had all her level 4 skills, but from what I had seen they werent very clean. And honestly her form had gotten sloppy overall. I truly just thought she no longer wanted to do gym anymore. She kept insisting she did. So I thought maybe JO just wasn't a good fit for her and set out to find her a more relaxed gym. I fully expected her to have to do another year of 4. However, she tried out at 3 different gyms. And I saw a totally different kid at these tryouts. Form and technique I didnt even know she had. Each gym had the same plan for her: Do level 5 this season that we are in and then try for level 6 or 7.

I went with a coach that decided it would be good to ease my daughter in and build her confidence back up, because my babies confidence was completely shot. :( She decided to start her on her XCEL team. And planned for her to compete 5 this season and start 6 or 7 in 2020. She did very well under this coach. Her form was cleaned up even more. She won XCEL nationals AA and even received compliments from judges about her technique. Her confidence was now through the roof, and I could see her love for the sport again. The best part? Her and her teammates are like 1 giant family, they all welcomed her with open arms from day 1. She felt like she had finally found her gym home.

Unfortunately, her coach got very sick and is unable to coach anymore. The gym hired a new coach but, he straight up told me the other day he doesnt stay on them about form like the previous coach, and that they need to learn to stay on themselves about form. He also says this to the girls frequently. DD and her team are also supposed to be competing 5 right now, but we are in the middle of competition season and the coach hasnt even gotten his certification to coach at a meet. He's now saying hes just going to bring a judge in and have them score out of 5 and start focusing on optionals. But hes been saying that for a month now, and each times hes asked when thats going to happen he says he doesnt know.

When they first lost their coach, DD wanted to stay with her team. Then she started asking to switch, then changed her mind because she loves her teammates. Then asked to try rhythmic, then came and said shes not sure what she wants to do. She says she doesn't feel like this coach can help her reach her goals. And I can honestly understand why she feels that way. She now thinks she may want to switch. But shes scared to switch, because she has a group that she fits in well with. And she worries that she may not fit in at another gym. Shes worried it will be like her previous gym. She said shes thinking about rhythmic because it's a fresh new sport. She says she feels like shes having such bad luck with gymnastics and thinks maybe just doing something else is the way to go. But she loves artistic gymnastics and says when she thinks about not doing it anymore it makes her sad. Shes also told me she just misses her coach. She really doesnt think there's another coach out there thats as good as the one she had. But she thinks she may want to switch again because she doesn't want to give up. My poor kid is obviously very confused and so am I. Lol Im just trying to do my best to support her in whatever she chooses to do. But she is flip flopping so much I dont really know where to go from here, and neither does she. She kind of wants me to make decisions for her, but Im worried Ill make the wrong one for her. Do I make her switch gyms and risk her not getting along with the girls and also being labeled a gym hopper? Do I make her stick with this coach? Do I make her do rhythmic? I think I will still make her go to the trial class since we already committed. But Im rambling at this point. Im not sure what the point of this post is. If you stayed and read this whole thing through, thank you :) I think I just needed to vent to others that can understand this rollercoaster of a sport lol. Any words of wisdom are appreciated though. :)
 

FlippinPrincess

Member
Proud Parent
Aug 22, 2016
168
Country
USA
Awww. I feel so bad for you guys. I think if you switched gyms again you wouldn't be labeled as a gym hopper, you've definitely had good reasons.

Maybe have her try a few rhythmic classes to see if she likes it. Perhaps then she will be able to figure out what she truly loves. You could also go watch practices at other gyms to see if she likes them. I personally would not have my daughter stay with this coach regardless of whether you guys decide to stick with artistic or not. If he isn't concerned with form, only barely squeaking by, the girls will definitely struggle in the upper levels.

Good luck.
 

duyetanh

Well-Known Member
Proud Parent
Feb 21, 2015
3,926
Country
USA
Go to one of the gyms where she tried out and she liked. If she is staying in JO, it’s time to leave. If she does not care if her form deteriorates and she doesn’t reach her goals, then stay. Trying not to sound harsh, but it definitely sounds like it’s time to go, one way or the other. It’s hard because yes you could be seen as a gym hopper, but you do have valid reasons, and if you go back to one of the gyms she tried and explained, they would probably get it. Also, if there is a rhythmic club around, heck, give it a try!
 

Gymnastmomma2010

New Member
Proud Parent
Sep 9, 2019
24
29
Country
USA
Thank you for the advice. She has a trial class for rhythmic tonight she seems very excited. :) she also asked to try T&T and track and field lol. Hopefully getting out there and trying new things will help her to decide if shes done or not.

I lhe felt like we should switch for a few weeks, but I guess I needed confirmation. One of the things that confuses me is he preaches about preventing injury alot, but openly admits he doesnt stay on them about form. Isn't bad form a quick way to get injured especially in the upper levels? None of the other parents seem to have any doubts about this coach, so I wasnt sure if I was overreacting or not. But if DD decides she still wants artistic than we will be gym shopping again :)
 

MILgymFAM

Well-Known Member
Proud Parent
Fan
Feb 6, 2014
4,467
39
NoVa
Country
USA
I’m not sure why the gym or the other parents have confidence in a coach who is not even usag certified. Does his background instill that confidence? Has he even had a background check? The fact that the season is likely half over (compulsory season is kinda short in some regions) means they’re- the coach and the gym- not taking competition very seriously. The fact that he has told you he isn’t worried about form means he isn’t taking gymnastics very seriously. Personally, I would do this: pull her from the current gym. Immediately. Take her to her second favorite gym from the previous round of trials and ask them to reevaluate her/explain to them what happened with the coach/team without bashing current gym. Also take her to a trial for t&t and rhythmic. She may love one of them and change the whole scene. After she’s tried another artistic gym and the two other types of gymnastics, sit your daughter down for a heart to heart. Explain to her that even though you love her teammates too, the current coaching isn’t effective or safe in your opinion and it’s time to move on. Tell her you support her choice in what to try next, and give it a timeline on how long she needs to stick with it before trying something new again (if she picks T&T, for example, she needs to stay till the end of the session or season if it’s team). I would also expect all the uncertainty and upheaval to mean the season *might* be a loss no matter what you all decide, and let her know that’s ok too- she’s got plenty of time and it’s no rush. It’s a crappy situation all around and I really feel for your guys.
 

Gymnastmomma2010

New Member
Proud Parent
Sep 9, 2019
24
29
Country
USA
Ive had several issues with this coach. If Im being totally honest it seems like the owner and other parents are trying very hard to keep the team up and running. He does have a bg in gymnastics. And he also coaches at the middle school so Im assuming that he has a clean bg. We have a few other coaches that come in from time to time that are more form focused. DD does well with them. But they have other commitments and cannot take over a HC roll. All of the other girls are extremely talented. With the right coaching, they could all get very far. The whole situation is very sad. :/

DD tried out rhythmic last night. The coaches loved her. She was offered to move to an advanced, smaller class, mostly to teach her the different apparatuses, and their goal is to move her to team in a month. They said she would likely just train this season, which is honestly ok with her. Her one downfall for rhythmic is there is no acrobatic tumbling allowed. But I told her she could always go to an open gym or something if she wants to tumble. I don't think theres anything wrong with tumbling for fun.

She is going for a T&T evaluation tonight. She is still undecided. I told her if she wants she can do rec classes for all 3. For a month. Basically once the rhythmic coaches are ready to move her to team is when she needs to decide.

And even then I told her she can reevaluate every season. I truly appreciate the advice. :)
 

Similar threads