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For Parents Missed one day of class!

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ValleyGymMom

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Monday, the first day after states, I let my daughter skip gym. I pick her up from school and she is exhausted! She goes Mon-Fri and never misses. She has even put in extra hours training for state. She is the only girl that puts in that many hours. So the girl is emotionally and physically drained! The season is over, so I thought having a day off wouldn't be a bad thing. Well, coach wasn't happy. I called and explained why she wasn't coming, and her coach called me back twice early in the practice to tell me why she should be there, giving me an opportunity to give in and say I would bring her in for a while. Well I didn't. I firmly said that I know when my child needs a break. It was one day!!! Was I wrong?!?! Coach insists he wasn't mad, just very disappionted she didn't come.

Is it just me or is this a bit extreme?:confused:
 

JessMom

Member
Proud Parent
Mar 6, 2009
479
I think you did the right thing. one day - AFTER states? I say as her mom you know when she needs a break and it sounds like she needed and deserved a break!
 

Linsul

Active Member
Sep 19, 2008
876
Pripyat
No, I don't think you were wrong. I think the coach wasn't either though. Consistency and effort are huge huge huge. He's got to convey that taking a day off should be a last resort. Sounds like that's what was happening with the phone calls, as long as he didn't get rude and demanding on you. As a parent under those circumstances I may have done the same and understand where you're coming from. Kids are busy and have a lot on their plate, some more important in the long run over gym. As a coach I know the signs of a tired kid and how to structure their workout so they don't hurt themselves yet benefit. What level is your DD? I'm suffering from coffee withdrawals, I probably would know or remember otherwise lol!
 

mariposa

Proud Parent
Proud Parent
Sep 25, 2007
3,529
Country
USA
I think you did the right thing. It is extremely important for us to teach our kids to listen to their bodies. I think many athletes would have less injuries, etc, if they would just listen to the messages their body sends to them. Good for you for sticking to your decision even under pressure. :D
 

mkr10

Member
Nov 20, 2007
50
At our gym, the coaches always have a meeting with the girls the Monday after a meet to discuss the meet. I don't know if this is the norm at your gym, but I know our coach would want all girls there especially on a Monday right after a state meet. If they are really tired and drained they can leave after the meeting.
 

bogwoppit

Former Admin
Gold Membership
Former Gymnast
Feb 26, 2007
16,720
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Canada
Sometimes you just have to give them a break.

Usually our first training after any comp is pure fun, no hard work at all, silly games etc. This is something the girls look forward to as they get to relax in the gym and have fun.
 

kevchriswilli

Member
Proud Parent
Sep 4, 2008
345
Dallas, TX
Country
USA
We are frowned upon also when taking a day off... but you are the person who is responsible for you child. No one knows your child better than you. Trust your knowledge that if you think she needs a day off, let her. We do!!! LOL..... Not that we take a whole lot of days off but there are times when she is run down. Just my 2 cents. ;)
 

Tim_Dad

Member
Nov 3, 2008
414
Region IV (Missouri)
He's got to convey that taking a day off should be a last resort.

Linsul, I'm kind of surprised you'd say that.

Why is taking a day off so dire?? To me, it's the smart & safe decision. I mean... it's JUST GYM! I don't think she's training for Nationals or Olympic trials. I think all it's doing is teaching her health and saftey is MORE important then gym!

Where am I going wrong?

BTW: I'll also keep my DD home from gym if homework isn't completed. School is first and is mandatory. Gym is a privilege. While it's VERY rare that this happen's, as a coach, do you disagree?
 
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ValleyGymMom

Guest
No, I don't think you were wrong. I think the coach wasn't either though. Consistency and effort are huge huge huge. He's got to convey that taking a day off should be a last resort. Sounds like that's what was happening with the phone calls, as long as he didn't get rude and demanding on you. As a parent under those circumstances I may have done the same and understand where you're coming from. Kids are busy and have a lot on their plate, some more important in the long run over gym. As a coach I know the signs of a tired kid and how to structure their workout so they don't hurt themselves yet benefit. What level is your DD? I'm suffering from coffee withdrawals, I probably would know or remember otherwise lol!

My daughter is level 8 and the only 8. This week her coach is concentrating on the level 7's upcoming state this weekend. I knew this would be a relaxed week for her because of the 7's so when I saw how she was just dragging after school, I made the call. We had the earliest session Sun. morning and we were up at 4:30 to get ready for a 2 hour drive. So I was dragging all that day too! She had celebrations after the meet with her teammates that came to support her, so it was a big, full day for her and after the months of intense training she was just drained.
Her coach didn't sound mad on the phone but I have heard through the grapevine that he was extremely put out. She did well but missed regionals by a fraction! So I'm wondering if maybe he was upset by that and just wanted her back in the gym as soon as possible.
 

mpkbt

Member
Proud Parent
Jul 17, 2007
243
Region 1
For what it is worth...At the 3 gyms by dd has been to, they have always had the day off after a meet unless they had another one the next weekend. In fact, for the sevens and anyone not going to regionals, they had the week off. As I write this, my dd (level 9) is upstairs reading and trying to get better. She has been sick all week and practice was making it worse, so I told her to stay home and recover. I think it is important that they are 100% when they are training or they could get hurt. She does have regionals two weeks from today. I say you made the right call.
 
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ValleyGymMom

Guest
For what it is worth...At the 3 gyms by dd has been to, they have always had the day off after a meet unless they had another one the next weekend. In fact, for the sevens and anyone not going to regionals, they had the week off. As I write this, my dd (level 9) is upstairs reading and trying to get better. She has been sick all week and practice was making it worse, so I told her to stay home and recover. I think it is important that they are 100% when they are training or they could get hurt. She does have regionals two weeks from today. I say you made the right call.

I can remember a couple of times in the past where she was given the day off after a meet (in the lower levels) but not anymore. I have no regrets letting her skip that day. Just wondering how many others would have done the same thing, and from all the posts, most of you would!! Thanks !
 

Linsul

Active Member
Sep 19, 2008
876
Pripyat
Linsul, I'm kind of surprised you'd say that.

Well when you take it out of the context it was posted in it does sound surprising lol! It's the give an inch take a mile caution that makes coaches call parents or seem strict about that one day they miss workout. I've seen it happen. It's not a happy meeting between the coaches and the parents when team workouts start morphing into the optional attendance very last priority slot of life. Scores suffer, feelings get hurt, skills aren't maintained or built on, maybe even lost, consistency goes out the window, expectations are everywhere, and standards are anyones guess. It's an environment that in the end nobody wants to be in.

What I stated is an extreme, and an example I have personal experience with. Not what I think is going on here, but I can provide an opinion from both sides as a parent and a coach so I do. I said I don't think that it was wrong in this case to keep the gymnast home, but I stand by the coach not being a jerk for calling (as long as he was polite). This is no harm no foul in my opinion, parent is being a good parent, coach is being a good coach. Good looking out on both sides.


Why is taking a day off so dire?? To me, it's the smart & safe decision. I mean... it's JUST GYM! I don't think she's training for Nationals or Olympic trials. I think all it's doing is teaching her health and saftey is MORE important then gym!

Where am I going wrong?

You're not going wrong at all if you, DD, and her coaches are on the same page. Health and safety are indeed the most important things.

BTW: I'll also keep my DD home from gym if homework isn't completed. School is first and is mandatory. Gym is a privilege. While it's VERY rare that this happen's, as a coach, do you disagree?

No I don't disagree, and do the same thing. My daughter is only in rec, but it still applies. She missed 3 classes in a month because she wanted to push that rule. She got to sit in the staff room and write out her sight words while her class was going on right outside. Tears ensued, begging, and she got shut down. Sucks on two fronts actually.

She is allowed to come to the gym while I work and have her run of the place as long as nobody wants to use the equipment she's on. She's got 3 hours to play and do her homework, and if she chooses play over homework she doesn't come to work with me again for a week. I can't have anything but zero tolerance for bad decision making at the gym if she's allowed to do what she wants. Someone could get hurt or a class could be disrupted. We don't dwell on it when it happens, but thems the breaks.
 

UnoMas

Well-Known Member
Proud Parent
Aug 16, 2008
3,736
Our gym is like that, too. The girls lose "points" when they miss practice. So usually most of our girls never, ever want to miss practice because they don't want to lose "points". But...the coaches would never, ever call and try to make a parent bring the child in unless she has a consisitent attendance problem. I think that part was way over the top!
 
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cher062

Guest
Don't worry about it. WE know our kids best and sometimes they just need that day off. heck sometimes I need that day off. the coaches will always balk at that but honestly I don't let them intimidate me when it comes to MY kids. Its been 3 weeks or so since my DD's States and the first week back was more for fun and to relax a bit. the big chore since her group moved to optional level 7 was to start listening to floor music and letting the girls have some say in their music. It's just been this past week that they really have started to focus on the new moves they will need for their new levels and about 1/2 the girls have their music picked and approved. My DD has a music medely from harry potter. It soooo fits her personality - it has the dramatic but fun to it and She LOVES it It was her first choice.

SHHHHHHHH dont tell anyone but there is more to life than gymnastics
 
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cathiann

Guest
AFTER State?? Yes, she needs a day off! Heck, our entire gym has the day off today :).
 

gym mom

Active Member
Sep 8, 2007
724
florida
I would have done the same thing especially after states she ahd been working very hard .Everyone needs a break once in a while.
 
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