Parents Missing Practice

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agsgranik

Proud Parent
Hello! My daughter is 8yo and is on a level 4 team with practice four times a week for 3.5 hours each practice. I'm wondering how to navigate family life with a gymnast. We have four children, so schedules are nuts. How often is it appropriate to have her skip practice for a family event?
 
It depends on you, your DD and your gym I think. I really try not to have her miss too often just because its expensive and I hate feeling like I am wasting money but sometimes its just needed and I dont want her to burn out or grow to resent the sport because she is always missing out on life stuff. So sometimes she does miss for family stuff or I pick her up early or take her in late. During the meet season I try not to have her miss at all in the Summer I am more flexible about it we have vacations and other plans but I generally try and plan life around gym as much as I can.
 
This is going to depend on your gym and its policies. I would talk with the HC or owner about it so you know specifically. Some are more lenient than others. I think it depends on the nature of the family event as well. If it's a wedding, special chorus event for a sibling, a family birthday party, etc, that's likely ok. Missing gym practice repeatedly because of schedule conflicts with another sibling's practices/games likely won't be taken well (not saying you are meaning this - just giving the other end of the spectrum)
 
I think occasionally missing for something important brings a needed balance to your child's life. Repeatedly missing practice however, demonstrates lack of commitment and will only hurt your gymnast in terms of progression. So it's really about balance. And also as stated above it depends on your gym's policies and expectations (written AND unwritten).

PS. we also have a big family and the schedule is cray-cray. I get it.
 
Most teams have a policy (whether written or verbal) about missing practices the week of a meet specifically. I find the most common is if you miss practice the week of a meet you may not compete.
 
On a case by case basis our gym allows girls to schedule an alternative practice for a specified date range if that girl can train with another group without interrupting that group's normal routine. In the summer this has helped with things like swim lessons that are only available at certain days and times.
 
But we also have three other kids, the baby starts gymnastics in July and the others don’t want to do anything, but we plan trips after the season sometime in the summer
 
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Good advise here. I wanted to give you a look in from the gymnast side. I hear the girls talking during carpool. The girls in this training group are all very close. With that said I hear them talking about when others miss practice. It has an effect on group dynamics and team relationships.

Taking in all that is said I think you should do what is best for your family and athlete. In each possible reason to skip analyze and do what is best for your situation.
 
DD will miss for major events. So, a best friend's birthday, a major scout event, a swim meet, or a family vacation.

She does not miss for every birthday, scout meetings, swim practice, or just because we don't feel like going.

I feel like it works out well, she has a very good attendance record, so her coaches are fine, but she gets to be a part of the major events outside of gym, so she doesn't feel deprived. It's important to me that she have other stuff going on in her life. Yes, everything revolves around gymnastics, but there are other planets in that orbit too...
 
We also have 4 kids and find this challenging! My daughter doesn't miss much, but I also don't feel bad if she misses for a special event, party, or family vacation. To avoid missing a whole practice, I will often pick her up early or take her late. I try to schedule trips so that she misses as little as she has to- for example, leaving on a day without practice and coming back on a day of practice so that she can still go. With the exception of summer vacation trips, I'd say she misses about one practice a month. I don't want her to regret missing out on important things and I don't want gymnastics to define her life, but I also know that consistency in practice leads to progress over all. We are already on the lower hours side (which is good for our family!) It is definitely a balancing act.
 
I think summers are the toughest. Both of the gyms we have been at had "2 week policies." Which means you can take off the equivalent of two weeks of practice (if you practice 3 days, you get 6 days off; 4 days a week practice means you get 8 days off). However, that always felt reasonable to me - we usually take a couple of long weekends, my daughter does a week of sleep away camp, and that still leaves a few days either for parties, events or at least one "just because we are doing something fun" day. 2 weeks of summer is about 20% of the summer, assuming 10 weeks. Missing much more may start to affect the ability to work on upgrades.
 
We are fortunate to be at a gym that strongly recommends 4 days at 3 hours per. But they understand kids and families have lives. So it’s not required. Mine didn’t do a 4th day until L7. And I give her one week a month to only have a 3 day week. Our gym also does an extra conditioning day, you sign up by the month. Some kids do them all . Some none. Mine does most. That class starts after school has started and ends before school let’s out.

We also don’t have to do every meet.

We have kids, doing track, lacrosse, diving, playing instruments and doing concerts....... making communions, confirmations, bas mitzvahs.... school dances.

Not all gyms are 30 hours.

And there are gyms that get kids and families have other things going on.
 
Like everyone has said, you figure it out and truly, it does feel like most things are planned around gymnastics once you get to a certain point. They spend so much time and make so many sacrifices (even if it's what they choose, I still recognize all the things my DD is missing because she spends her free time at the gym), I feel like I owe it to her to plan to the best of my ability around her schedule. BUT, I also feel that gymnastics is a teaching point (as we all know most kids aren't going to the Olympics/elite/college) and I want her to learn when to place personal/family/life ahead of gymnastics. Just like a job. Job normally comes first (the bills don't pay themselves!) BUT there are times when choosing your family over going to work is the right decision. Our gym wants everyone to be at practices 80% of the time each month. The only time attendance plays into anything is when the coach is deciding level placements. If your attendance history is low, the confidence that skills can be attained and ready by competition time is questionable.
 

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