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ldw4mlo

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@ldw4mlo my daughter competed once where the coach (along with her whole team) conspicuously turned their backs on her while she was on beam, because she was “so bad at beam he didn’t want the other girls to be thrown off their game.” I sincerely hope that other parents thought as little of him watching that stunt as I did. You can definitely learn a lot watching dynamics at a meet.
Operative words conspicuously and whole team.

Different circumstances and situation. If it were my kid that could only happen once, we would of been gone.
 
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ldw4mlo

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No one's entitled to my business or to a position of power over my child just because they decided to become a gymnastics coach instead of an accountant or a carpenter or a firefighter.
This is huge to me. Because I am consistent.

It is ultimately up to the parent ( oh and here will come more piling on).

When I first joined here nearly 6 years ago. I happened on this site for some minor question. Something along the lines of is it OK to miss the occasional practice.

And then I started reading, long before the Nassar days. The “Ranch” was Nirvana.....

And at my small gym my 8 yr old had a meet that would be impossible for us parents to attend. (She didn’t) And I started reading. Folks posting that kids traveled with just the coaches. Oh you could only use the gyms doctor...... And no they cant even call you while away....

And I posted whaaat these are little girls We are their parents, no way.
I got slammed all over. I was repeatedly told..... I didn’ t understand this was simply how high level elite gymnastics is. I was told I just didn’t understand. My kid would simply not even make it out of compulsories. This is just how it’s done.

It didn’t make sense to me then. Still doesn’t..

This will always come down to the parents.
 

ldw4mlo

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It's all over IG now, and apparently there's over 40 gymnasts that provided "evidence" and facts, etc. of verbal and emotional abuse, saying they should go the cheer route because she's a dumb blond, "I hate coaching you," "you can handle my bullying", forced acceptance of a scholarship to a school they didn't want to go there because "you'll never get anything better." They are all public posts. Some college gymnasts too.
Which coach was that? An important distinction
 

doublestrike

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Right, and if you read the parents and gymnast posts and allegations you would know about half did leave over the last two years. One person commented he saw the coach in question that raised question marks to him, a percipient observation. You are just offering hypos that have nothing to do with the article or claims based on no personal info. It’s just argument for argument’s sake.
 

ldw4mlo

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Regarding judging coaching from meets: there was one coach that came to every meet for a gym we competed against the last two levels, and he was intense......
these kids by what you see in a few hours at 7 am on a Saturday.
So again. You saw this coach repeatedly. At meets, plural..... not one Saturday session..


yet the parents put up
 

Gymx2

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I think you can draw a lot of conclusions from anyone's behavior at a meet. As a parent, if I sit in the stands making faces or muttering under my breath about my kid's performance, talking about gymnasts from other gyms, or complaining about the judges, I'd expect other parents around me might form an opinion about me. Coaches ought to be aware that their behavior towards the athletes on their team will be noticed.
 

skschlag

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I also heard folks laughing on the video. Huge disconnect there.

Not knowing the dynamics I really can’t comment. From my ignorant perspectiv....
If there was a serious concern why the laughing.... my read is this is a guy who is cranky by nature. Video was very shaky, but it seems both falls were recovered well. He helped her back onto the bar... He spoke with her multiple times.

My personal reaction was taken back to toddler times. A kid fall. One parenting style is to rush in and be the savior, oh poor baby you got a boo boo etc.... That kid has quite the cry....

The other parenting style. Oops you fell shake it off and move on.... that kid gets up and moves on...

Without context and history my “allege know it all self” could make a case either way.

The bigger red flag to me is if the parent was truly concerned about the coaches behavior, why was that parent allowing her child to be coached by him.
There was NO laughing. THis kid was on the ground for about 3 minutes before getting up, chalking up, and trying again. It was a hard fall, both times.

I guarantee you were NOT there, and did not see it. No one was laughing. Everyone was worried. The coach walked off.
 

doublestrike

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Which coach was that? An important distinction
I've only seen posts against Vanessa and Perry. I don't know who Amanda is. We're not in OC, but my daughter has friends at Azarian and at Wildfire, so I knew where to look for the info.
 
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ldw4mlo

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Well, do you have a great idea or solution for protecting all of the coaches falsely accused while balancing protecting children from abuse? You don’t have firsthand knowledge of this coach or a child who was ever in an abusive gymnastics
Do. Not.Assume. I have no first hand knowledge of abuse.

I. Do.

For minors it comes down to the parents speaking up in the moment and taking their business elsewher.

For adults, it’s speaking up for yourself, in the moment, and taking yourself elsewhere.

I learned a lot in many places from many people...

A couple of my favs, the serenity prayer... And the following 2

That which you allow will continue.

If you don’t want to be a doormat, get up off the floor.
 

ldw4mlo

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There was NO laughing.
oh there was laughing on the video. Did you actually listen to the sound.I watched it a lot today, huge chuckle. Total disconnect. The woman videoing was laughing, while she was saying she couldn’t stop wiggling the camera
 

LJL07

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Do. Not.Assume. I have no first hand knowledge of abuse.

I. Do.

For minors it comes down to the parents speaking up in the moment and taking their business elsewher.

For adults, it’s speaking up for yourself, in the moment, and taking yourself elsewhere.

I learned a lot in many places from many people...

A couple of my favs, the serenity prayer... And the following 2

That which you allow will continue.

If you don’t want to be a doormat, get up off the floor.
I was specifically referring to having a child in an abusive gymnastics situation since that is what we are discussing here.
 

ldw4mlo

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I was specifically referring to having a child in an abusive gymnastics situation since that is what we are discussing here.
Abuse is abuse. You inferred I simply didn’t understand. You. Do. Not. Know. Me.

I. Know. Abuse.
 

Jazzjerz

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Aug 18, 2013
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oh there was laughing on the video. Did you actually listen to the sound.I watched it a lot today, huge chuckle. Total disconnect. The woman videoing was laughing, while she was saying she couldn’t stop wiggling the camera
OMG! For someone with “no dog in the fight either way”, you are so intent on arguing and proving your point that you aren’t even reading the words skachlag is posting. She is referencing an actual occurrence she witnessed at men’s gymnastics meet...not a woman’s meet shown in a video.
 

skschlag

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oh there was laughing on the video. The woman videoing was laughing, while she was saying she couldn’t stop wiggling the camera
ANd I was not talking about a video. I was explaining a situation I saw that gave me an impression of a coach from across a room. The fact that I was talking about a boy should have given that away.

Fact remains, your behavior and attitude in public will allow others to make judgements.
 

skschlag

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yes but I was specifically speaking of the laughter on the posted video.
Sigh...I hate arguing. But you responded to my post about the kid on the high bar talking about a video from someone else. Can you see the confusion? I was not referring to the video at all. I was answering your post about how you can tell something about someone from across the room.

If you wanted to respond to the video, you should quote that.
 

Jazzjerz

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yes but I was specifically speaking of the laughter on the posted video.

When you quote reply the personal anecdote from skschlag right before launching into your monologue about the video (both of which involve bar falls), the only logical conclusion is that you have misread her response and think she is addressing the video. Now obviously that would mean you had been incorrect or misunderstood her, which would NEVER happen, so glad you were able to clear up her mistake above (sarcasm).
 

LJL07

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I was specifically referring to having the experience of a child in an abusive gymnastics setting, since you made a very big point about the importance of having firsthand knowledge. It’s really not as cut and dry for parents to manage abusive gymnastics environments as you seem to think it is.
 

wandrewsjr

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Sigh...I hate arguing. But you responded to my post about the kid on the high bar talking about a video from someone else. Can you see the confusion? I was not referring to the video at all. I was answering your post about how you can tell something about someone from across the room.

If you wanted to respond to the video, you should quote that.
“Ah! Yes, I see my mistake now. I thought you were talking about the video.” It is so easy and painless. You have the patience of a saint, Skschalg.
 

ldw4mlo

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.It’s really not as cut and dry for parents to manage abusive gymnastics environments as you seem to think it is.
I have no first hand knowledge specifically about Azarian. or the coach in the posted video based on the 1:40 min posted.

I have more then enough knowledge about abuse.

its actually more cut and dry then you imply.
Every single parent is free to say.... yeah this is not right, not for us, my kid and my checkbook are out of here.

There are many parents who enabled this environment for whatever their personal cr*p is
 
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