Parents Need advice

[C's mom]

Today DD's (12, competed level 4 last year) coach let them know that they will begin testing next week to see if they have all the skills necessary to move to the next level. The coaches let them know that if they don't have all required skills they will not get to compete at the next level. Daughter is struggling with her BWO on the beam. She was scared to even try it at all at the beginning of April. She has come along way since then but only landed it a handful of times on the high beam since then. She still doesn't have it consistently on the low beam but is no longer scared to work on it. She has all the other required skills for level 5. We have been doing private lessons as well all during Level 3 and 4 and this past summer to help with the skill. It is a high possibility that she will have to repeat Level 4 next year. DD likes the gym but has some girls in her level that might tease her for not moving up with them. This would be the first time she hasn't been able to get all the skills before August and possibly repeating a level. My question is this ... Would you go ahead and redo Level 4 at the current gym? Would you look at switching gyms (we have 2 other gyms close) and repeating Level 4 at the new gym to see if that will help her get over her mental block? If switching gyms is the answers then how do you go about doing that when the gyms are all in the same area and you don't want to hurt the current coaches feeling but feel this might be the best thing for her?

 

[LTB~Mom]

I don't think switching gyms will help her get over the mental block of a bwo on beam unless her coaches aren't handling it well (and it doesn't seem like that from what you describe). You and your daughter will find out quickly that a lot changes around Level 5. Some girls repeat levels, some compete one level a year, some hit optionals and start moving really quickly. There will most likely always be girls moving more quickly and more slowly than your daughter and switching gyms won't change that dynamic. If she has a lot of fears and doesn't want to repeat Level 4, then Xcel might be a good option for her.

 

[FlippinPrincess]

She was scared to even try it at all at the beginning of April. She has come along way since then but only landed it a handful of times on the high beam since then. She still doesn't have it consistently on the low beam but is no longer scared to work on it. She has all the other required skills for level 5.

You mention that she is no longer scared to work on the BWO so it doesn't sound like it's a mental block, it sounds like it's just a skill that hasn't "clicked" just yet. I don't think a gym switch would fix that.

It almost sounds like you are more worried about her being teased by other girls for not moving up a level as opposed to not having a particular skill (forgive me if I am wrong.) Is it a toxic environment normally with her teammates? You are already worried about her being teased but there is no guarantee that the other girls will move up either (it's also still unknown if your daughter will repeat.) A gym switch is a really big decision and to be honest, this doesn't really sound like a situation in which I would consider a move. (This is based solely on the information in your post.)

I would try to relax and wait to hear the final decisions next week. Her coaches will most likely have a plan for her and it sounds like they have a good relationship and will do the right thing for HER. Good luck!

 

[MeetDirector]

C's Mom -

First word of advice from someone whose dd went thru all of the levels (and had many blocks along the way) - relax! The more you fret about this and throw things like switching gyms out there, the more stressed she will get and continue to block on the skill.

The skill will come with time and focus on the basics (hips square to the beam, hand placement, etc). A gym switch is the last thing you want to do for a mental block. In the grand scheme of things, this block is most likely just the beginning of mental challenges in this sport if she sticks it out. You have got to let the coaches coach; that is their job.

Good Luck.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

I personally would not switch gyms solely for that reason. If she has good coaches and solid training where she is at, stay put and let her work through her stuff. In the long run, it really doesn't matter what level she competes as long as she is progressing. For some gymnasts, doing a second year of a level takes a lot of pressure off (even if it isn't fun initially to "repeat!) and they progress really well that second year.

For SOME kids, a change of scenery and fresh eyes can do wonders but generally that is when there are lots of things that just aren't working at the current gym.

I would hope her coaches are savvy enough to discuss things like that with her group and keep teasing and such from happening, at least at practice. It certainly wouldn't be tolerated at our gym...

 

[flippingtogether]

C's Mom -

First word of advice from someone whose dd went thru all of the levels (and had many blocks along the way) - relax! The more you fret about this and throw things like switching gyms out there, the more stressed she will get and continue to block on the skill.

The skill will come with time and focus on the basics (hips square to the beam, hand placement, etc). A gym switch is the last thing you want to do for a mental block. In the grand scheme of things, this block is most likely just the beginning of mental challenges in this sport if she sticks it out. You have got to let the coaches coach; that is their job.

Good Luck.

^^^^this times 100.

I've got a DD who has fear issues... and the less I interfere and the more she handles them herself with her coaches the better it is. We've been working through this for years.

It doesn't necessarily get easier for a fearful gymnast as time goes on, esp. if you have a DD like mine who has trouble with fears/blocks, then gets skills, then LOSES these hard-earned skills, then eventually gets them back again. It's like 1.5 steps backward for every 2 steps forward.

If there is a good relationship between your daughter and the coaches, and she is overall happy where she is, then let time work its magic. Our coaches completely 'get' my daughter, and that's what makes our gym such a perfect fit for her. All the coaches truly have become very good at working through fear and block issues.

Also you understanding and your daughter understanding that fears are completely normal and natural - and will happen - is a huge part of conquering the battle. I highly recommend looking at this page of Alan Goldberg's website - this provides some understanding of what is happening and why.
https://www.competitivedge.com/catalog/gymnastics
(His audio is great and has helped my DD)

Good luck. Let time do its thing if everything else at the gym seems like it's in pretty good shape.

 

[C's mom]

UPDATE: First and foremost thank you for all the great advice and support on this. I am also very happy to provide this update. We decided to stick with the current gym and didn't even go talk to other gyms. The day after I posted the original message my DD had a lesson with the hc at our gym to work on the skills for the testing the following week. The HC immediately was able to give her some advice on how to fix it and had some suggestions for getting her over her fear of it. We did have the testing the week after I posted the original message. DD did have to do a BWO on the high beam w/ no spot for testing. She did not make it and in fact completely missed the beam during the test but the HC was happy that DD even tried it by herself. We started the fall practice schedule at the beginning of August and DD was still practicing with the Level 5s at this time. DD starting doing weekly lessons with the HC. During this time DD was able to move from not being able to do a BWO on the low beam consistently to doing them on high beam now with a 2 handed spot then onto a single hand spot. She had the week before Labor Day off of gym. The HC told the team that she was going to be making final decisions on what level you would be competing at before we left for the week long break. DD got sick and missed the last practice before break and had to miss her lesson that week as well. She went to practice on the Tuesday after Labor Day and received her official certificate stating that she was moving up to Level 5. YEA!! At practice that Thursday she did 1 BWO on the high beam with no spot but with the HC standing right next to the beam. Then at practice on Saturday she was able to do 4 more without a spot and the HC standing near the beam. All the coaches and the girls cheered really loud when she got it. Then at her private lesson she was able to do her BWO on the high beam w/ no spot multiple times with the HC standing away from the beam and even videoing. I am so proud of her and how far along she came since April. Again thanks for the great advice. I am so glad we stuck with the same gym and just gave her the additional time she needed to get the skill.

 

[MeetDirector]

... The HC immediately was able to give her some advice on how to fix it and had some suggestions for getting her over her fear of it.

C's Mom -

This is a HUGE step on the crazy gymnastics journey. First, you took the pressure off of her; you let her work through this. Second, she stuck to trying to work thru her block and she received and used methods the head coach gave her thereby building a new relationship between the two of them. Third, the HC has now realized that she has an athlete that she can coach thru a block with success. There are positives all around here.

Continued Good Luck.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Love hearing the end of the story. Especially when it has a good ending.