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medic3188

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For the last 4 years I have been a relatively quiet gym parent. As I have posted in other threads my daughter was asked to move up to level 4. She has been at the gym for extra hours observing and participating in the level 4 practice to try it out. She is also doing her other classes. My daughter was told by her couch that she needs her pullover. She struggles with this skill. My daughter started conditioning at home and doing pullovers on her chin up bar. This is spoted by myself for safety reasons.
So on Wednesday I was talking to the office person at the gym about why my daughter looked very sad. My daughters coach was with the level 4 team instead of her class because of a snow day we had earlier in the week. This women said well why is she upset. I told her that my daughter wanted to be with her coach and the level fours. She said that my daughter cant move up and that she is not ready. I told her that her coach said that she could. She told me that I must have misunderstood. She then went up to another coach and started discussing this. I went up to my daughters coach later and she said that it is a coaches decision. Well this woman continued this the next day going from coach to coach. This is the same woman that talks badly about other gymnasts and parents.
This woman also runs the holiday camps and has been just having the kids run around and not do any structured activities and gymnastics. In the past camps were very structured. So after talking to my daughters coach at length I decided that I would call the owner. I had to call her daughter in law to get her phone number and she said she would call the owner and have her call me.
Five hours go by and the owner calls me and asks me to meet her at the gym today to discuss this. Meanwhile I find out that she called my daughters coach and I do not know who else about this. But someone called my husband before I came home and said that everyone at the gym is in an uproar becuase I set up a meeting with the owner. Which she did not me. They also said I was a pushy parent who often yelled down to the floor and came down to the floor to talk about things with my daughter , which I never do. They also told him that I am getting other parents worked up, which I havent discussed this or anything with other parents. My husband got all mad at me and this person suggested that my husband should not let me go and watch. He will not tell me who called him. I do not know what to do.
 

JBS

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Go and talk to the owner and the coach. The coach has every right to be present at the meeting and the owner did the right thing by involving the coach. I don't know why the whole gym knows about this situation, it is a personal matter. Someone has been talking too much.

This is very simple...find out what skills your daughter needs to move up. If the owner says she is not ready, then she is not ready. There is really no point in arguing as gyms are private establishments (they can do whatever they want).

If you are not getting the answer that you are looking for, check out a different gym. Don't tell anyone you are looking at different gyms.

You said that your husband is mad at you. You guys need to talk about this.
 
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medic3188

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I did discuss this with the coach at lenth. The coach said that she needed her pullover and a consistant back hip circle, which she has. Bars is her weakest event. The coach and I have great communication.
 
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hammy

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As a coach I suggest talking to the coach about it--they are the one in charge of deciding who moves when and what not. I have many level 4's that are on the team that I coach that have trouble doing pullovers--it's a difficult skill because it requires strength. If that is the only skill holding her back, i personally do not see why they don't just go ahead and move her up. Putting her on the team might give her more motivation to try even harder than she is now (i'm not saying she isn't trying hard, i'm just saying with a little more motivation she'll begin thinking more positively about the skill).

Another suggestion is that it might be time for the coach to hold a coaches and parents meeting with the parents and coaches of the team. Talking bad about other parents is not something that builds a strong team; it will pull the team apart.

Good luck!!!! If the problem isn't solved soon I would suggest beginning to look at another gym in the area.
 

gym law mom

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Not quite sure why someone who works in the office got into the middle of this whole situation. Sounds like someone really started to "stir the pot" and the problem is you and your daughter got caught in the middle.

I would definitely follow through on the meeting with the owner and the coach. Get the issue resolved with them. If they decide she's not ready, then as others have pointed out, that is the end--for now. I would ask if the problem is JUST the back pullover or do they see a lack of strength in other areas that they feel would hold her back on other Level 4 skills?

I just don't get why a whole gym is turned upside down and an upsetting phone call made to your home over whether 1 girl should move up to Level 4. Even if they do move her up, I would be leary about keeping my child there long term. You can easily check out other gyms over the next few mos.---just find out when their Level 4s are practicing. Sitting around some other parents you would hear alot about that gym and get some idea if another gym would be a better fit.

Let us know what happens!
 

JBS

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So after talking to my daughters coach at length I decided that I would call the owner.
What was the original call to the owner for? Was it about your daughter or the office employee?:confused:
 
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medic3188

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I called about both. I just got back from the gym. They had an open gym and the owner pulled me aside after I got my kids. He said that someone told him that I wanted my DD to move up to level 5. How crazy he could not understand how this happened. I explained everything to him and he told me that they are going to test the kids and that he does not think that my dd will have any problem. I told him that I am very frustrated with this office person for spreading rumors. Perhaps I should drop it, my child is the most important thing.
 

JBS

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Sounds like it will all work itself out fine.

You have voiced your concern about the employee...that is all you can do. Owners have a lot to think about. If others are complaining about this employee also, then I'm sure something will be done.
 

Blackie6

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YIKES! What a mess! Just wanted to say my daughter (6) was not doing consistant pull-overs on pre-team either. And, was also having problems with bridge kick-overs. I also thought these skills were holding her back, but they took her anyway. She started in Feb and I can't tell you how many skills she's aquired since then. She still gets a little tired after doing alot of pull-overs if they are working on bars, but all the strengthening training has turned her into a flip-flop machine! Her handstands are 100 times better too. I think it's hard to really judge them when they are in these pre-team classes, once given the opportunity, extra hours, and being with more expreienced girls, many seem to blossom!

I hope you can get it all sorted out between the owner & the coach. It sounds like the office person is a busy-buddy. IMHO it wasn't very professional to make these sh%! stirring phone calls. I try to be a quiet gym parent too and I would be very upset if this drama happened to me when it wasn't true. Good Luck!
 
Feb 15, 2007
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medic - it sounds like one conversation got blown up and out of proportion... I hate to say it but I see these kinds of MIS-communications happening WAY too much for various reasons. Hopefully you feel it is straightened out and while I understand JBS's view (from a club manager's perspective) - I would be a little more upset about gossipy office staff (from a parents perspective). If you asked her to ask around that would be one thing... I am curious about them calling your husband and involving him though??? This is most disturbing to me, because it only leads to even MORE mis-communication.:mad: If they called at home for you they simply should have left a message for you to call back. If they called him at work or via a cell # to discuss w/him. I would seriously question the professionalism at that gym. Remember you are still the customer paying for a service.

How long has your dd been on the pre-team?
 

JBS

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I would be very upset if any person was spreading gossip. However, as far as what is in this thread, we still don't know who called medic's husband. If it was the office employee, then she was out of line. Common issues and billing can be taken care of with either parent, problems should be taken care of with the parent that it concerned in the first place.
 
Feb 15, 2007
222
I would be very upset if any person was spreading gossip. However, as far as what is in this thread, we still don't know who called medic's husband. If it was the office employee, then she was out of line. Common issues and billing can be taken care of with either parent, problems should be taken care of with the parent that it concerned in the first place.
Gossip is one thing - it happens... but it does not matter who called or discussed w/the hubby IMO, as you said and I agree "problems should be taken care of with the parent that it concerned in the first place".
 

JBS

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Gossip is one thing - it happens... but it does not matter who called or discussed w/the hubby IMO, as you said and I agree "problems should be taken care of with the parent that it concerned in the first place".
Yes...I agree. I should have been more specific. Anyone that called the husband was out of line. I didn't know if there was a possibility of another overzealous parent calling the husband. This is very bad...but hard to prove as other parents would have to step forward.

I have caught many people (staff and parents) trying to tune into private conversations. Sometimes it is tough to have a private conversation in such an open environment. On the other hand, if you have a meeting in a private room, everyone immediately assumes something is wrong.
 
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medic3188

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littlegym-

My dd has been on the preteam since september. She has difficulty with her kickover as well. She spends hours trying and can't get over. She is very persistant. She has learned so much in the past year.
 
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medic3188

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It turns out the the person who gave my husband the information was this office person's daughter who works with us. She approached him and started talking about it. She does not belong to the gym.

As a followup I called this office person because I had to give her girlscout cookies. We talked for a while. She denies the lies, but at least she knows I know about it and will not tolerate it. She said that she also thought I wanted to move my dd up 2 levels. How crazy
 
Feb 15, 2007
222
medic, from what I understand the bridge/kick over is pretty impt in gymnastics. My dd was obsessed w/getting this skill too and I remember her trying it any way possible. She used to bridge w/her feet on the couch and kick over - over and over again:) ... then eventually she put 2 couch pillows on the floor and did a bridge and kicked over from there. I did not think she was anywhere close when she ran into my office one day telling me watch, watch she had it - she did have it... apparently she had switched to only one pillow and then she tried w/no pillow. Tell your dd not to give up and practice everyday - she will get it soon. Of course keep practicing handstands and maybe hit a couple of open gyms or do a private lesson to work on the pull-over. If she does make team, she will be practicing more hours and will certainly get it soon... if it does not happen, tell her not to lose hope or be sad. Most pre-teams usually require the girls/boys to stay on p-team a full year & being "on team" does not mean much, you can usually get a lot out of a few hours a week in the gym. In fact when my dd got her kick over she was only going to gym 1 hour a week. Tell your dd to continue practicing and she will get there:D Good luck and I hope the situation is all worked out to your satisfaction...
 
Feb 15, 2007
222
JBS, I bet you are great at smoothing out situations at your gym:) I just felt that the "word" should not have gotten out so far to the point that anyone would be able to make a call like that (staff, another parent etc.) ... as I stated in another thread gyms should require parents to sign a behavior policy that must be enforced. Thank goodness nothing like this has happened to my family but something similar did happen to another family in our gym - and it was all over a huge misunderstanding... things do happen and in some cases certain parents do bring things on themselves, but if what has been described had happened to my family we would have traveled to find another gym and not looked back...
 
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medic3188

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we have three gyms in our area. My dd goes to a smaller family owned gym. She has been there since the day after she turned three. She was still in diapers that first summer. She turns 7 in june and that will start her 5th year in the gym. The gym has been the one constant in her life. She has switched day cares and sitters but she always had the gym. She goes to every camp and every open gym. She has had numerous birthday parties there. Some of the coaches babysit for us. We can walk to the gym. We are very attached to this place. My son goes there also he is 5. He just does rec and just likes to run around. That is fine with me. My plan is that when my dd gets to level 6 we will have to switch gyms. This one is not equipt for optionals. They have a few girls who do level 7 but that is it. The decision to leave is not one I can make or ask my daughter to make right now. I want her to compete with people she feel comfortable. I found out the kids she will move up with are kids she has known for 3 or 4 years. It makes it special. Does this make sense to anyone?
 
Feb 15, 2007
222
:confused: medic, I hope I did not give the impression that you should not stay at your gym ... I for one understand completely why you would stay... we are very close to the gymnastics side of the rec gym my dd started out in and we put up with a lot because my dd loved/loves her coach there so much. This is about your family, and up to you to decide what is the best - no one (especially not I) could/would fault that decision. I am so glad that you brought up your dilemma - it really makes us all more aware. lgcm
 

JBS

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we have three gyms in our area. My dd goes to a smaller family owned gym. She has been there since the day after she turned three. She was still in diapers that first summer. She turns 7 in june and that will start her 5th year in the gym. The gym has been the one constant in her life. She has switched day cares and sitters but she always had the gym. She goes to every camp and every open gym. She has had numerous birthday parties there. Some of the coaches babysit for us. We can walk to the gym. We are very attached to this place. My son goes there also he is 5. He just does rec and just likes to run around. That is fine with me. My plan is that when my dd gets to level 6 we will have to switch gyms. This one is not equipt for optionals. They have a few girls who do level 7 but that is it. The decision to leave is not one I can make or ask my daughter to make right now. I want her to compete with people she feel comfortable. I found out the kids she will move up with are kids she has known for 3 or 4 years. It makes it special. Does this make sense to anyone?
Yes, it makes perfect sense. It's great to hear...something that is not heard enough anymore.
 
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