Parents Need help with making decisions

[Swiftli]

Lord help me decide on something....anything! lol

DD is 9yr old lvl 6. She is scoring about mid to high 34's all season. I haven't seen much improvement in her skills just more consistent. I have been on the fence about switching gyms. I am not pleased with the constant changes in coaches and lack of attention the compulsaries receive at the gym. I know they will move her to 7 next year but honestly I don't think she is ready for it.

Here is my latest dilemna..Our gym is a east coast Y and we have Nationals in San Diego this year. DD is super hyped to go to CA, to stay in a hotel, see the beach, go to Sea World...etc.

I am stressing. I did register her because we had to back in December and bought opening ceremony tickets...$190.

To now find out only about 1/2 her team is going. The trip would only be me and my daughter. DH and 2 boys would stay home for economic reasons. I have to book airfare for us two ($1000 easy), hotel stay for 5 nights (weeklong event, not sure what day she competes, $750), food and entertainment (at least $150).

Many are using this as a family vacation but I can't afford the extra $1500 in airfare. Needless to say our family vacation this year will be cut way back if we even have one. Finances are tight!

DH wants her to go because it is a once in a lifetime trip. Who knows when we would ever go to CA. I really want her to go but in the big picture, should I? As a level 6, Nationals is just like any other invitational just with a little bit more pomp and circumstance. There are some really good Y's in CA so I don't hold anything out for coming away with any placements. Am I just wasting all this money when we could have a nice family vacation?

Why does this have to be so hard to decide!? lol.... I wish I was a millionaire somedays

 

[bogwoppit]

I think if I was in your shoes I'd stay home and put the money to a trip for the whole family. Gymnastics is already hard on the family and taking her to SD when you are already feeling bad about the finances may not be the right thing.

Don't get me wrong though, SD is awesome and so is the ocean, but it is not the last time that she will get the chance to travel, she is only 9 after all. If this was a huge team trip it might be more fun, but as most of the club are staying home your money might be better spent elsewhere.

As for your gymmies dissapointment, it is all in the spin! Tell her what she needs to hear and then sell the alternative to her.

We all wish we were millionaires, but then life would be boring!

 

[gymjoy]

I'm with Bog on this one.

Dd will be disappointed, but she will get over it.

(and personally - I don't really like San Diego much. Kinda grungy to me. Though I love the zoo!)

 

[mariposa]

I agree with Bog and gymjoy. If it wasn't a financial strain, I would say go for it, but since it is, she is old enough to understand.

As to the gym switch dilemma, I think that by the time you are questioning it for awhile, you usually really know. Good luck with that decision. It is tough, but sometimes change is a really good thing.

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

I also agree with everyone else here. If she were 17 or 18 and this would be her last chance to go to an awesome away meet, then I'd say go for it. BUT she IS only 9... she will have plenty of other opportunities to go to some absolutely awesome away meet locations as she moves up the ranks. I'd save the money for a FAMILY vacation now, and save the gymnastics trip for another time!

I also agree with Mariposa.... is you've been thinking about a change, then it's something you probably should have already done. . . The older your DD gets, the harder it will be to make that change b/c she will become more connected to her peers as she gets into those teen years!!! Change IS hard, but once that decision is made, it gets easier to follow through with it.

 

[Pickle's Mom]

I agree with everyone else, but...

Is there a chance she could go with another family? I understand that it's a really long trip and it's asking a lot, but we took a child with us to an away meet this year (much closer - only an 8 hour drive and 2 nights in a hotel) and the girls had so much fun.

It would mean you weren't sharing the experience, and of course it would have to be a family that shares your values (etc), but it's something to consider.

 

[Mariainlv]

Swiftli,

Im going to be the voice from the other side. I know it is expensive but your DD has worked hard and since she is already entered I think it would be a significant blow. As a family we are flying from west to east for ~1100 total, so there are good deals to be had. Maybe look around a bit more? San Diego is a beautiful city with many free things to do.

To the PP who said SD was grungy, hmm thats not at all my take having lived there 20+ years (as well as having lived all over the world)

 

[UnoMas]

Tough one. I think the worst part of deciding NOT to go is that your DD already thinks she is going and is excited about it...I would feel awful about that as much as I would maybe NOT want to go and blow the family vacation money!

Can you pose it as a choice/discussion with her...letting her know that if she goes there will NOT be a vacation for the family? I know that she's 9 and really it should not be up to her but maybe if she is kind of involved in the decision/discussion it would help.

As far as the gym switch goes...if there is another gym that is reasonably close that you think would be a good fit, investigate it...chances are, you'll find the decision easier as you look into it more.

 

[sportzmomov3]

Your DD is age 9, going for a level 6 meet, where only 1/2 the team is going and you're stressed about money AND being apart from the rest of the family - seems like a no brainer to me. I am sure that my DD would take a family vacation over a meet. SD is an AWESOME place (don't know why that one poster would be mean and state otherwise) but if you can't go as a family to enjoy, it won't be worth it in the end. Even if you find a great deal, it's the summer - a time for the whole family to enjoy a trip such as East Coast to SD.

As for the gym switch, if you are thinking about it, then it's time to actively look to move.

 

[ZJsMom]

I don't know, I think I'm in the minority, but if it were me, I would feel if I told her already we're going, I need to follow through. I guess kids do need to learn to adapt to changes and deal with disappointment, but I wouldn't want to go back on it if she's already been told she could go.

 

[Panda-girl's Mom]

Wow that is a tough decision, I am glad that our gym does not put us in this situtation. Only our level 8's and up go to far meets by that point they have been in gymnastics for years and have earned it. I feel bad though if I promised my daughter that we would go and then had to cancel. I would also think if you are switching from the Y gym to a private that your expenses are going to go up which is another consideration. I quess I would talk it over with your daughter and explain that the trip is expensive and find out how important it is for her. I would also find out if she wants to change gyms I think 34 for a 9 year old level 6 is a good score, ecspecailly for a Y don't they practice less hours.

 

[Granny Smith]

Thankfully our gym is like Panda-girl's Mom's gym, in the past it has always just been the 8s and up, but this yr the 7s travelled too due to a change to their season (was Fall, now Spring) and they have the same coaches as the 8s & up.

I think what I would do at this point is sit dd down and have a truthful conversation with her. Tell her, hey we only have this much money, if we do the SD gym trip the rest of the family can not go. Let her know that 1/2 of her team will not be going - it doesn't hurt to mention if one of her friends is one of the ones not going. I see nothing wrong with telling her the financial burden that the trip will cause the entire family. It's one thing if you already had the airplane tickets and such, but at this point you do not have anything. I am not sure if Y is the same as USAG but going from 6 to 7 in USAG she would now be optional and there would be a need for a floor routine and a beam routine and the money that would be used for National trip would be better served paying for her new routines.

Maybe you could plan a small family getaway weekend the same weekend as the Nationals. I, personally, wouldn't go, she will recover. I mean I agree with the others that yes she deserves it, she worked hard, but sometimes the money doesn't justify it. If money was no option, you know you would go, but that isn't the case.

 

[cathiann]

I don't know, I think I'm in the minority, but if it were me, I would feel if I told her already we're going, I need to follow through. I guess kids do need to learn to adapt to changes and deal with disappointment, but I wouldn't want to go back on it if she's already been told she could go.

Yeah, this is me too. If you hadn't already said she could go, then I'd be on the other side, but since you told her she could go, unless something drastically changed financially, I'd still go with her.

 

[snowbound]

You didn't mention how long you have until Nationals, but I think it's awful that the gym made you pay back in December! I think I am in the same camp as Bogwoppit, I know if I had an honest discussion with my DD and told her that I know I had said we could go, but finances being what they are, and her scores probably wouldn't get her into the medals, that it really wouldn't be worth the trip.

I would also tell her that maybe you should investigate a new gym and see if she can find a consistent coach to help her get the skills so that when she DOES go to nationals it will really count.

I am originally from southern CA, and I can tell you that San Diego is one of my favorite places, but it would be so much more fun if you could save up and make it a family vacation! There's so much to see and do there, it really isn't worth the trip if you can't afford to enjoy it all.

9 is pretty young to be going into level 7, so I'm sure she will have many more opportunities like this!

Snowbound

 

[nettyinpa]

It is a tough decision you have to make. Honestly, financially, I wouldn't do it unless you could work something out with getting good deals on hotels and airfare. You're in PA, right? I think Level 6 is too young to be doing a national level meet. Has your Y ever done the Keystone State Games? Every state holds a state game and then has a nation-wide games, kind of like the Olympics, in a certain city the following summer. Last summer it was in Colorado Springs. Our gym is going to the games next weekend. If you medal in the top 3 on any event you qualify to go to the National meet. Next year it's in San Diego! I told dd about it and she's excited. We have over a year to plan for it so hopefully we can make it a family affair.

As far as switching gyms, well, I've been there and did that and it has been the best decision we've made for her. She is very happy at the new gym and is making more progress in the few short weeks she's been there than she did in months at the other gym. Last night she did 3 giants in a row on the strap bar! Never happened before. Like someone else said, if you move to a more private gym the cost will go up. PM me where you're located and maybe I could make some recommendations. We just had states so I've seen most of the Level 6 girls out there. There are a lot of good gyms in PA.

Good Luck!

 

[gym law mom]

Very tough decision to make. Obviously dd will be quite disappointed, but if you can plan something else that the whole family can do this summer with the money you would have spent on SD for just 2, I think overall thats the plus. I would also tell her you don't feel it is quite fair to her dad and brothers to give up any vacation this summer for this trip.

Certainly do not imply in any way that you've decided not to go due to her scores this year. I would point out only some girls are going and it sounds like you and dd will be somewhat on your own? That can be wearing after a few days.

If you're considering moving to another gym, now is the time to start looking since everyone will be starting their summer schedule and uptraining. Much easier time to make the switch.

BTW--I saw your budget and if you do consider going, I would add a few hundred to the food/entertainment budget. There is almost nothing "cheap" in S. California.

 

[ZJsMom]

Y I know if I had an honest discussion with my DD and told her that I know I had said we could go, . . . her scores probably wouldn't get her into the medals, that it really wouldn't be worth the trip.

I'm sorry, but I really disagree with this part. I 1) wouldn't tell her I don't expect her to medal and 2) would never suggest to a child that it's not worth taking her to a meet if she's doesn't come home with medals.

 

[snowbound]

I'm sorry, but I really disagree with this part. I 1) wouldn't tell her I don't expect her to medal and 2) would never suggest to a child that it's not worth taking her to a meet if she's doesn't come home with medals.

Sorry if this offended anyone...my DD is very realistic, and she knows when she's not going to medal at something. She still goes out and has fun, but she knows she is going out to get better, not bring home the hardware.

I know my child would be embarrassed going to a national meet if her scores were not consistently 9's. She wouldn't enjoy herself. Having been to a national event myself where I was horribly out-classed, I would never do that to my child (because I know how my child feels, and that would just dash her to bits!)

I realize that everyone knows their own child best, and I was only saying what I would do if faced with that situation.

Forgive me if I offended.

Snowbound

 

[Swiftli]

I think 34 for a 9 year old level 6 is a good score, ecspecailly for a Y don't they practice less hours.

Our practice hours our about the same as most private gyms. Lvl 6's train 16hrs per week

 

[Swiftli]

Has your Y ever done the Keystone State Games?

Like someone else said, if you move to a more private gym the cost will go up.
Good Luck!

Our Y doesn't do the Keystone Games. Y Nationals is an annual event that moves locations each year. Last year it was in Pheonixville, PA. It is like the Olympics for the Y.

The private gym we are looking at is actually priced just about the same as our Y. I think sometimes people think all the Y's are more like rec programs...less hours and monthly costs. Some Y's yes...but not the case in our area.