Parents Need suggestions from parents! Coaching styles

[ozonelakesgymnast]

Parents--
I'm in need of some suggestions. I've moved from coaching tops/hopes program and levels 5-8 at a very "strict" gym. Initially I had complaints that practice was too tough and the girls were worked too hard. I've loosened up just a little and families/athletes all seem to be happy now. This program formerly was not a developmentally focused gym.

I'm wanting to know what your expectations would be of a new head coach, what you would be happy to see from A head coach of such a different back ground, and what wouldn't fit in with the gym culture. Open to all input

 

[raenndrops]

I would actually want a coach who knew the gym philosophy and worked within that framework.
I understand implementing some changes to put your "stamp" on a program, but too much too fast can overwhelm the athletes and families.
Our HC came from an intense gymnastics program background. She QUIT competing because it was too intense. She doesnt want that for our girls, so our program is more laid back.
She has brought in coaches before that were more intense than we were used to, but it wasnt the entire program changing at once. It was one coach... and if the coach was TOO intense, she didnt last long.

It could be that your program was chosen for its philosophy and if you change it too much, you may lose gymnasts. You need to implement changes slowly, over time, so they dont really notice it

 

[BachFlyer]

I love seeing a coach open to input! I wonder if you would put this question out to your actual team, maybe in the form of a quick survey or "suggestion box"? My company does this for employees occasionally - the last survey had two questions "what is one thing that if you did less of would change your workday for the better" and "what is one thing you wish you could do more of that would improve your work". If you were to ask one or two open-ended and anonymous questions you might get some useful clues about the culture and expectations.

Barring that, I would think setting up quick 15 min meetings with each family would be welcomed!

 

[John]

Coach. As a parent, I love the open question. I think you should have a coaching philosophy that you agree with and can live with. Let that philosophy be known to everyone in the gym and all new potential gymmies. I think you should then be true to that philosophy when training every day. Some Girls have big dreams and other girls dream smaller. Let your gym and your coaching attract the type of kids that match your coaching style and mesh with your gym philosophy.

I guess it simple supply and demand. We as parents have choices and can come and go as we see fit. You as a coach have the duty to make your girls the best they can be with in your system. You will never please all the people all the time.

Be strict be demanding to be soft if you wish but be true to yourself. Most importantly always care for the kids and do whats best for them. You are a team.

 

[Sasha]

Good for you for looking to create a positive and open relationship with your gym parents! Yay!

Things that come to mind...

You came from a 'strict' environment coaching girls with ambitious, time-sensitive (high level for age) goals into one that was not so developmentally focused. This probably means there was less conditioning, possibly more generous 'move ups', probably older girls for level overall, and probably less focus on scoring super well. Usually philosophies in these gyms align more with a positive, social experience that focuses on overall health & fitness, and 'whole person' type goals (rather than getting to L10 by age 11, making D1, or the national team at all costs).

Though some parents in these types of gyms understand that their daughter is "not going to the Olympics" (and usually not going to D1, etc), note that MANY DO NOT! Many parents in these types of gyms have no idea what 'elite' means, and still think their 13 year old L5 has just as much of a shot as anyone at college or beyond. Now an exceptional athlete could always happen, but generally speaking, these are not programs who track many (or any) athletes to the higher echelons in womens gymnastics.

For this reason, it is very important for you, as the new coach, to sit down with EACH FAMILY and discuss the athlete's personal goals. In that first conversation, do NOT tell Mr. and Mrs Johnson that Suzie is not going to the Olympics or to D1 if they seem to have some lofty ideas of where Suzie could be headed. Simply thank them for those insights, tell them you are talking to everyone, and aiming to help make the program support the athletes as best you can after understanding everyone's needs. Also ask them the question suggested above about what they would like to see more/less of in the program and from you specifically. Other parents may tell you they just want their daughter to have fun and be fit, etc. Once you have understood the range of goals, talents, suggestions, and expectations, think about what you can realistically do. If pretty much everyone is in the 'have fun, don't care if she only reaches level 8 ever" camp, then you can make different choices than if half of your girls and families would really like to push harder and try to make up more ground. Consider how to structure your groups or how you will balance different goals within a group.

Once you have a plan, have a group meeting with families and explain your coaching philosophy, the goals for the athletes (in general terms - individual goal meetings are a great follow up), and what actions you will take in class to help achieve the goals. For example, if "Fun" is a big theme, perhaps talk about team-building events, fun 'competitions' in class, spirit days, etc. If "more progress" or "Scoring better" is a theme you heard, talk about how you will focus on conditioning, and how that leads to higher skills, or how you will add a dance component for more artistry, etc. If "moving up" is going to be different (or even if it is the same), be clear on how that will be determined and communicated. And if college/elite/etc is a theme on parents' minds, talk about the different pathways - don't automatically kill all dreams by characetrizing it as "impossible", but don't be afraid to be clear what additional hours/work/pace/expectations might be required for a more demanding path, etc. Don't be afraid to state what you know about college recruiting in a general way, such as "typical" age for level expectations for D1 schools, but always turn to a positive note that some girls can progress quickly with talent and hard work and you will be challenging each girl to the extent that she is open to challenge and progressing. Talk about burnout and what to watch for. Make sure to note all the benefits of gymnastics beyond college, etc. Thank the parents for trusting you to care for and build their young athletes, and end on a positive note that you are excited to help their daughters reach their goals.

Most of all, parents want to know that:

1) first and foremost you care about the athletes' safety, and their well-being as people/children in your care
2) you understand and care about their daughter's unique strengths, challenges, goals, and what motivates her (not just team trophies, though if that is going to be a focus, definitely give your take on that).
3) you are creating a thoughtful plan for not only the group, but her as an individual, and will adjust this plan as her progress dictates
4) you are open and available to talk through any concerns

Other points to address parent anxiety include:
5) being assured that you don't play favorites based on talent or progress - everyone is valuable
6) knowing that though each athlete and case may vary and there will be exceptions, you have a clear philosophy and process for deciding moveups / skills to compete
7) If there are any 'special' programs (tops, hopes, advanced class, etc) at some point, you will be clear on criteria for invitation, advancing in the group, etc.

I could probably type 100 more things I wish a new coach would do, but I think I've already started a novel.

 

[mommeeluv]

I would prefer my kids with Strict coaches rather than a coach that lets things slide way too often

 

[MuggleMom]

As a parent I think having a general idea of where you are going with the program could be helpful then I can determine if its the place for me or not. Like "I know this program in the past has been a bit different but I am hoping in implementing X, Y and Z so that we can get the girls moving on this path with these goals in mind etc."

Just recently I wasn't sure what the path was for my gym and I was frustrated about what group my DD was in etc. The coach sat down with me and said listen, the plan is to have the girls who stick with the program in optionals in 3-4 years. In the meantime we are less concerned about how long they stay in each level so they may repeat levels 3 or 4. Does it matter though as long as we are committed to getting a hard working kid to optionals in this timeline? In understanding that its easier for me to accept things that I may not understand in the day to day practices.

Maybe if the parents knew what the general path of the program looks like and that you are open to suggestions along that path they will be more at ease with your "stricter" program.

 

[mommyof1]

If you want to make your parents extremely happy customers, set up regular brief conferences with each family (2x/year?) to discuss the child's goals and your plan to help her meet them, then follow through on those plans. Be proactive about coming to parents if you have concerns about a child's progress or behavior, and have a plan to address those concerns. Be absolutely transparent about what programs are available and how kids are selected for those programs--don't start a secret TOPS group and expect people not to get bent out of shape when they inevitably find out about it. Never promise anything you can't deliver.

Always keep in mind that personality, preferences, and work ethic should play a role in determining the child's competitive track, not just raw talent. Even if little Suzie is not going to the Olympics and her parents are well aware of that fact, she still deserves high-quality training to help her achieve to the very limits of her own potential. Don't kick hard-working, highly motivated kids out of JO just because they aren't destined for L10 or aren't winning medals. As long as they do the work and are safe, let them do what they love.

 

[Ms.Pak-Man]

What were you hired to do in the new program? I think that needs to be answered first. If you were hired b/c the ownership/management wants a more strict environment then do what you know, just ease into it.

Are there different tracks (Xcel) for the kids not wanting the intensity? Parents or kids complaining can be offered those tracks. Or you could pull the kids that want the higher intensity into an accelerated program (added practice/hours/homeschool).

 

[H.J.]

I love seeing a coach open to input! I wonder if you would put this question out to your actual team, maybe in the form of a quick survey or "suggestion box"? My company does this for employees occasionally - the last survey had two questions "what is one thing that if you did less of would change your workday for the better" and "what is one thing you wish you could do more of that would improve your work". If you were to ask one or two open-ended and anonymous questions you might get some useful clues about the culture and expectations.

Barring that, I would think setting up quick 15 min meetings with each family would be welcomed!

Yes Yes Yes!

 

[dbean]

As a parent, I would love a coach who was intune (took time to understand each girl) with the kids to find out what drives/motivates them. Some need that push, while others need positive reinforcement. Some need little direction, while others need lots of hands on correction.

All need to feel relevant and confident.

Biggest No No is to talking badly about a gymnast in front of other gymnasts (another story for another time).

 

[triplethreat+1]

Personally I would want a coach to be approachable and connect well with the kids, but still work them hard. I wish my girls' coaches were a little stricter in shutting down the chitchat.
I think there is a lot of good ideas here, one thing my gym does that I like, is make groups based more on intensity than level. So you might have two groups of beginners, levels 1-2/3, one a more fun group and one a faster-moving group. A group that is levels 2-4 with lower hours, a group for higher hour levels 3-4. It should be a joint decision between where the coach thinks each athlete belongs, and how much each kid/parent is willing to commit to.

 

[cyclopsmom]

I haven't read all of the replies, so forgive me if I repeat. For my dd I would appreciate a coach who is fun but firm, transparent about exactly why a girl is in the training group she is in and what it would
take to move up, professional enough to not show who her favorites are, and at least reasonably good at communicating with parents and athletes. A quick meeting at move up time would help to get everyone on the same page about the plan for the athlete. Replying to all emails eventually (unless they are cgm excessive) would also be appreciated. Parents know coaches are busy, but responding to emails would expected in most any profession.

 

[cyclopsmom]

If you want to make your parents extremely happy customers, set up regular brief conferences with each family (2x/year?) to discuss the child's goals and your plan to help her meet them, then follow through on those plans. Be proactive about coming to parents if you have concerns about a child's progress or behavior, and have a plan to address those concerns. Be absolutely transparent about what programs are available and how kids are selected for those programs--don't start a secret TOPS group and expect people not to get bent out of shape when they inevitably find out about it. Never promise anything you can't deliver.

Always keep in mind that personality, preferences, and work ethic should play a role in determining the child's competitive track, not just raw talent. Even if little Suzie is not going to the Olympics and her parents are well aware of that fact, she still deserves high-quality training to help her achieve to the very limits of her own potential. Don't kick hard-working, highly motivated kids out of JO just because they aren't destined for L10 or aren't winning medals. As long as they do the work and are safe, let them do what they love.

Like x1000!

 

[e'smum]

honestly, i don't understand gyms where it's less strict (isn't that xcel). it's a tough sport and to do well, it needs to be developmentally focused. core strength and all that. if i were one of your parents, i'd be thrilled. i'm not paying all this money for JO for it to be less work. i want my kiddo to do her best and have a coach that is pushing her to do her best.

that being said, i'd want a coach to understand if my kid needs a day off on a regularly scheduled practice day just b/c she needs a mental break. and that if she's having an off day in the gym, to just go with it and let her do what she can that day. (all of dd's coaches are excellent with this)

maybe just take your time ramping up the team and by next year they will be working hard and not even realizing it b/c it was a gradual change??