Parents Need to Breathe

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z2akids

Proud Parent
I just need a quiet place to take a couple of deep breaths and move on.

DD has come home from her practices this week frustrated about floor. She has a couple of weeks before the next meet, so they have been working more advanced skills more of their rotations than we they are preparing for a meet. She loves that. However, on floor she hasn't been moved along in her tumbling and feels slighted. Granted, tumbling isn't her strongest event, but she said that both practices, her coach praised her ro2bhs and yet didn't move her on to tucks while moving other girls on.

Now, I told her she needed to talk to her coach if she wanted to know what she had to do to move on. She won't and I told her I was not going to because she needs to stand up for herself if she wants something. I reminded her that there could be many reasons and, that if she doesn't ask, anything I say (especially since I am not there) is pure speculation.

The situation on floor overshadowed fun and successful practices on bars and beam. Of course at 10, she doesn't realize thst she may have moved onto flyaways and roundoffs on beam while others, who moved on on floor, may not have.

Mama Bear wants to rush in and solve her problem. Lol. I feel better already. I just wish the coach would communicate more with her or she felt more able to ask herself. She is having fun and progressing. I just hate those days when she comes home frustrated and mom can't do anything to fix it.

I do know that the next practice will likely be totally fine. I just hate when she leaves practice and started complaining the second we get in the car.
 
I know that YOU know.... Leave it to her coach(es). I spent quite a bit of last year quietly (luckily!) wondering why MY kid wasn't allowed to work on giants with the rest of her then L5 group. Her and another girl were excluded every time because they didn't pass the drills leading up to it. I knew why, logically, but it still stung. Well, the months passed and seemingly on a whim her coach finally let her try a spotted giant. And she made that no problem. And proceeded to during that same practice do her first unassisted giant. She just needed to be ready for it, and during those months of feeling slightly miffed that my DD was "missing out" she simply wasn't ready, not by a long shot. She got her giants well ahead of several of the girls who had been allowed to work them that whole time.
Now I'm not going to lie, those girls have since made theirs better than hers one they got them because my DD has a problem with form, but the story still holds value. There's a reason, and a time for everything even if it seems unfair to the observer at the time.
Let it be, and it will come. Her coaches will know when she's ready and there's not much point working something until they are. :)
 
The situation on floor overshadowed fun and successful practices on bars and beam. Of course at 10, she doesn't realize thst she may have moved onto flyaways and roundoffs on beam while others, who moved on on floor, may not have.
.

Did you explain this to her? It would likely help her understand. Every child has their strengths and every child has her weakness. And she excels at others probably struggle and vice versa.
 
Thanks. I do know it and I am leaving it alone. My vent last night was me getting it out when my mama nature just wanted to go and fix it.

I did remind her that she was doing lots of skills that other girls weren't doing. But, when you are 10, reasonable doesn't always help. I mentioned it and dropped it. She is much better this morning. Hopefully my approach - listen sympathetically and remind her that she had to approach her coach if she wants an explanation - was the right way to go.

She has made great progress with this coach and I know she will continue to. She is just not a natural tumbler and, unlike a lot of girls, does not work tucks and the like on trampolines in her down time.

She will get there and honestly I think she has the potential for greater longevity in the sport than some of the girls who love the tumbling tricks, but who don't enjoy beam and bars as much. I see a few of them leaving for cheer in the next couple of years as they approach middle and high school where I cannot imagine my DD ever going that route.
 
A couple of years ago when DD was a L3, she once came out of a practice very frustrated, saying that all the girls were working on RO2BHS, but the coach would only let her do a single BHS. I asked her if he was giving her any correction, she said "he just kept telling me to straiten my arms". Next practice I came a few minutes earlier to watch. Even with my untrained eye I could see that the other girls had a good rebound out of their BHS, allowing them to connect it to another one. DD's rebound was almost non-existent, no way she could have pulled another BHS out of it, even with a spot. And yes, her arms were bent on her BHS, probably the main reason for her struggles.
I was so glad I didn't act on my initial impulse to go talk to the coach. Would have felt really foolish. :)
 
You could also talk to the coach with her. I went to the coach with my dd and said, "DD has a question for you." And made dd ask. I think it's important for dd to be able to communicate with her coach so I will help her along when needed.
 
I just need a quiet place to take a couple of deep breaths and move on.

DD has come home from her practices this week frustrated about floor. She has a couple of weeks before the next meet, so they have been working more advanced skills more of their rotations than we they are preparing for a meet. She loves that. However, on floor she hasn't been moved along in her tumbling and feels slighted. Granted, tumbling isn't her strongest event, but she said that both practices, her coach praised her ro2bhs and yet didn't move her on to tucks while moving other girls on.

Now, I told her she needed to talk to her coach if she wanted to know what she had to do to move on. She won't and I told her I was not going to because she needs to stand up for herself if she wants something. I reminded her that there could be many reasons and, that if she doesn't ask, anything I say (especially since I am not there) is pure speculation.

The situation on floor overshadowed fun and successful practices on bars and beam. Of course at 10, she doesn't realize thst she may have moved onto flyaways and roundoffs on beam while others, who moved on on floor, may not have.

Mama Bear wants to rush in and solve her problem. Lol. I feel better already. I just wish the coach would communicate more with her or she felt more able to ask herself. She is having fun and progressing. I just hate those days when she comes home frustrated and mom can't do anything to fix it.

I do know that the next practice will likely be totally fine. I just hate when she leaves practice and started complaining the second we get in the car.

it's all part of the process you must trust. my parents used to hate the ride home with me also. LOL!
 
You could also talk to the coach with her. I went to the coach with my dd and said, "DD has a question for you." And made dd ask. I think it's important for dd to be able to communicate with her coach so I will help her along when needed.

Thanks you. We have done this in the past when DD had a concern. When I told her she needed to talk to her coach, she knew that we could do it together. While I wholeheartedly believe thst she should be the one addressing issues with her coach, she is also only 10 needing to speak to an adult about a decision. I don't expect her to go that alone. While I won't do it for her, I am her safety net and will back her up. But, she didn't want to address it, so we will leave it alone.
 
it's all part of the process you must trust. my parents used to hate the ride home with me also. LOL!

Lol

I am trusting. I know thst training isn't all fun and hard work. Thst sometimes it is frustrating and upsetting. The mama in me doesn't have to likeep it though. :)
 
We had a similar situation last night lol. DD and another gymnast both were landing BWO's on the low beam. The coach let the other girl try hers on the high beam, but wouldn't let dd. She came home feeling hurt and frustrated. I can sympathize with her but at the same time I know better than to jump the gun and go talk to the coach about it b/c obviously there is something the coach is seeing about her BWO that makes her think DD is not ready to throw it on the high beam yet. It's tough sometimes b/c the mama bear wants to come out and do a little roar when her child's feelings are hurt, but I told DD to just be proud and excited that she is landing the BWO on the low beam, b/c just a month or so ago she was scared to even try it.
 
I think you can explain to your daughter that it takes a long time to be consistent on things, so even her ro2bhs were great that night, if she JUST fixed it then she probably still won't be ready to work on tucks until it is consistent. And if those kids have already passed all the back tuck progressions and actually have their back tuck, letting them move on is very different than someone who hasn't worked on back tucks before and doesn't have it. The latter person will likely have to wait until practices where the coach has the chance and equipment to set up the appropriate drills. But if that person keeps their ro bhs consistent, it will happen :) just not possible every day.
 
Good place to put all that energy and thought. That way with her you just nod. :rolleyes:
 

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