Parents Newer gym mama- please help me with this issue!

[girlymama]

Hey everyone! My oldest daughter (7) has been on a team for just over a year now and she's on level 2. I've had a hard time with some of the things the coaches do and say at the gym she goes to, but I often talk myself out of being bothered by reminding myself that I'm very much an overprotective mama bear. I fully recognize my need to grow in that area and stop being so overprotective.

Recently my girl was doing a superman hold towards the end of practice. She wasn't lifting her head and limbs as high as her coach wanted her to. So to correct that, the coach jerked her ponytail to pull her head higher, and pushed her legs and arms far beyond what was comfortable to my daughter. It obviously caused her some pain and she was very embarrassed. She was also more sore than usual after practice and for the next few days. She complained of a neck and headache, which is not something she's ever complained about before.

Is this sort of thing something that is normal or common? Is this considered acceptable? This is the first sport my children have been in, so I really have no idea. And everyone I talk to has differing opinions about it.

Thanks!

 

[stillhoping]

Not normal, and not acceptable.

 

[MuggleMom]

I get maybe pushing a kid beyond their comfort zone but grabbing their hair and yanking would never be ok with me.

 

[M2Abi]

Not okay with me.

 

[Flyaway]

Nope. Not ok.

 

[Seeker]

Absolutely not - I would not be pleased if my daughter’s coach yanked her by her pony tail.

 

[amiandjim]

No!!!! Just, no!!! Shaping with hands, ok. Positioning with hands, ok. Pushing a little past a stretch or position, ok. Pulling on a ponytail for any reason, NOT ok!!!

 

[kiwi2406]

Not at all, I have never seen or ever want to see a ponytail being pulled to shape a kid!

 

[raenndrops]

Would you accept it from a teacher or a babysitter?
I wouldnt ... meaning it is NOT acceptable for a coach to do it.

 

[Peachy88]

At the best gym in our area I witnessed a coach push a girls head with her foot as she told her to not hit her head on her back handspring again. Totally unacceptable and we never went back!

 

[tpMom]

You already know the answer. Time to get your daughter out of that gym.

 

[cadybearsmommy]

Nope.....take her out of there and never look back. Furthermore I would report that coach.

 

[duyetanh]

Time to leave....

 

[Flippin'A]

Not only is this absolutely not okay, but it serves no coaching purpose whatsoever. A large part of shaping in gymnastics is about teaching kids to keep their head between their arms and not throw it back. Pulling on a ponytail would do the exact opposite so don't let anyone try to convince you this is a legitimate coaching technique. This sounds to me like a frustrated coach who can't control their impulses even with very small children-- not someone I would want my child around.

 

[amiandjim]

Not only is this absolutely not okay, but it serves no coaching purpose whatsoever. A large part of shaping in gymnastics is about teaching kids to keep their head between their arms and not throw it back. Pulling on a ponytail would do the exact opposite so don't let anyone try to convince you this is a legitimate coaching technique. This sounds to me like a frustrated coach who can't control their impulses even with very small children-- not someone I would want my child around.

Exactly! Our gym uses sponges beneath the chin to teach them to keep it in! I seriously cannot believe a coach pulled a child’s ponytail. I would NEVER do that to my child, let alone allow someone else to do that.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

No. Time to go.

 

[MUTigerMom]

My DD had a soccer coach that did this kind of stuff. We stayed and put up with it for about a month. This was far too long. She is still trying (1 year later) to rebuild her confidence and trust in her abilities. Run, don't walk, to a more positive environment.

 

[BritBrat]

Ask yourself...would YOU do this to your daughter? If the answer is no, then why would you be ok with someone else doing this to her.
I understand being an overprotective mom. Which IMO there's no such thing in this day and age. You need to protect your child as much as possible. Not allowing someone to mistreat your daughter in any sport comes with protecting her.
Talk to your daughter, let her know that type of behavior is not ok. Search for a better gym and good luck.