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For Parents Our Dilemma

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Tumblequeensmom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Feb 19, 2007
1,453
What state are you in? There are some very knowledge people here who could help you find some direction if they know where you're located!

-Lynn
 

gym law mom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Dec 23, 2006
2,527
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Talk with the staff at this gym. If they train up to L10 and have girls go onto college then the coaching isn't that shabby. There really isn't an official term of "elite" gym----some gyms just tag themselves that since they have girls that may have qualified elite at some point.

The number of hours of practice sounds reasonable(25 or so for upper levels). Remember their bodies can only take so much and she will also be juggling high school and gym. I think its best to have a real plan for this girl---how far can these coaches take her and what cost will it be to you? As you can see from one thread this is not a cheap sport.

Let her try this gym, have a long talk with the coaches after they've had a chance to watch her and get to know her and then look at a need(if there is one) to relocate.

You are being a super sister/mom and sounds like your little sister is in the right place to grow and mature into a fine young lady.
 

midwestgymmom

Active Member
Aug 27, 2006
661
midwest
I dont have any advice but just wanted to say that she is very lucky she has you in her life. Good luck figuring out a plan for her gymnastics :hug:
 
S

Smile :)

Guest
Thanks for the support everyone:)
This has been a kind of chaotic year but I'm fortunate that my husband is a really patient and decent guy and somehow I think we've all mostly stayed sane. In spite of the chaos I really do love getting to be in her day to day life which wasn't consistently possible before this.

The number of hours of practice sounds reasonable(25 or so for upper levels). Remember their bodies can only take so much and she will also be juggling high school and gym.

Personally I think 25 hours a week is a lot but she did do more than that at her old gym. Her high school has open campus so I did let her schedule her first T,R classes for 10:10 so she doesn't have to be at school before 10 (as opposed to the normal 8:55 arrival she must make on all other days) on those days and she can do morning gym those mornings. They have a long practice on Saturdays and go 3:30-6:30 M-F. She went to private school before and things were a little more flexible I suppose but I think she needs a year to be a kid and have a normal high school experience. We can always re-evaluate next spring if we want to do something differently next fall.
 

kristilyn73

Active Member
Jan 17, 2008
1,326
Minnesota
I dont have great words of advice for you, only my admiration. You are a great sister and it sounds like you are both lucky.

I would take it one month a a time.. if it appears to be working and she is happy - it probably is the right thing to do..

Good luck
 

gymmomntc2e6

Moderator/Proud Parent
Aug 25, 2007
2,842
North Carolina
Yet another w/ no advice. But I do believe that your sister is blessed to have you and your husband. It sounds as if she is very talented. Having the consistency may be helpful for her.
 

Scout's Mom

Member
Oct 2, 2007
89
Texas
First of all, let me say that your sister is a very lucky girl. Not only are you providing her with a safe and stable home; but you're also considering her future with her best interests (emotional, physical, social, and education) in mind. Many biological parents just rock along raising their children without really considering the big picture.

That being said, here's my two cents. Elite gymnastics is not for the "faint of heart" and certainly not for a child who has the potential to be emotionally fragile. It is physically and emotionally demanding. Children who have been raised in the most stable of homes, often buckle under the pressure. I won't even begin to discuss the huge financial burden that elite gymnastics can place on a family--particularly a young family.

It seems like your sister's gym situation is a blessing in disguise. She can still pursue the sport she loves, build friendships, and have the stable loving family she deserves. She sounds like she has the potential to earn a college scholarship, which would be an amazing accomplishment that (relatively) few girls achieve.

The bottom line is that gymnastics will eventually be over. In the end, being an emotionally healthy and well-educated adult will be more valuable to your sister.

I want to make sure that everyone understands that I am not "putting down" elite gymnastics. It's a great fit for some girls--but, in my opinion, many girls are not cut out for its rigors.

Good luck with your new venture into parenthood, and enjoy all of the fun of watching your sister grow into an amazing adult!

Oh, and welcome to Chalkbucket--it's a great community!
 

gym monkeys mom

Active Member
Proud Parent
Oct 3, 2007
569
I applaud your efforts to help raise your sister and go through the process to adopt er. She is very lucky to have you and your husband.

That being said I totally agree with Scouts mom about elite gymnastics. It is a great fit for some but, by no means is it for everyone.

I think right now your sis needs to heal and grow emotionaly and that is more important than being an elite gymnast. Being in the gym more would maybe be an escape so she would not need to deal with things. This way now she can do gymnasstics and deal with all her emotional stuff also.

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. Good luck and best wishes.;)
 
S

Smile :)

Guest
That being said, here's my two cents. Elite gymnastics is not for the "faint of heart" and certainly not for a child who has the potential to be emotionally fragile. It is physically and emotionally demanding. Children who have been raised in the most stable of homes, often buckle under the pressure. I won't even begin to discuss the huge financial burden that elite gymnastics can place on a family--particularly a young family.

I think (probably like many things) gymnastics has great potential both for leading to positive growth and also for feeding into a negative self destructive spiral. I think sometimes I think gymnastics isn't the root cause of the problems as much as a scapegoat. Many things can become very seductive when kids are already in bad places. That doesn't mean I don't have reservations about all of this...because I completely do but I'm trying to keep a concerned but somewhat open mind.

It seems like your sister's gym situation is a blessing in disguise. She can still pursue the sport she loves, build friendships, and have the stable loving family she deserves. She sounds like she has the potential to earn a college scholarship, which would be an amazing accomplishment that (relatively) few girls achieve.

The bottom line is that gymnastics will eventually be over. In the end, being an emotionally healthy and well-educated adult will be more valuable to your sister.

I think if she could compete on the level 10 team at her gym she would actually be pretty ok with things (at least for now and we can always re-evaluate later). Apparently she cannot do that because of successfully testing elite and competing at the junior elite level. On one hand I suppose I understand, but I also think that she's in a different place in many ways and gymnastic wise than she was a year ago. She is going to do a few open meets this fall and is going to compete on the high school team where there is even more of a skills mismatch but apparently there is no rule that competing at the jr. elite level disqualifies you from high school meets.

As for your bottom line, I agree completely...she's actually a very neat kid (yeah I'm biased but really she is) and I do believe at some point she will look back at all of this and be proud of what she's accomplished and more empathetic with others. I also accept that it's not happening overnight.

I want to make sure that everyone understands that I am not "putting down" elite gymnastics. It's a great fit for some girls--but, in my opinion, many girls are not cut out for its rigors.

I think it goes back to the whole "your mileage may (and does) vary" concept. I think it's important to continually re-evaluate goals, costs, and not be afraid to make changes along the way. But that's probably true for all aspects of life. Balance is good even if often very hard to achieve in some of the most important senses.
 

ellabella

Member
May 26, 2008
176
You can drop back to Level 10 from elite. Many, many girls do it. Testing and qualifying elite is one thing and being successful at elite and being able to handle the stress on the body is another thing. Many girls make it and then end up going back to level 10.
 

gym law mom

Active Member
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Dec 23, 2006
2,527
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USA
At our former gym, more than 1 girl qualified elite and even did a competition or 2 as an elite and then decided they didn't want to pursue that track and competed on the L10 team. Many have ended up with college scholarships and made several trips to JO Nationals, but did not train all through high school as an elite.

Is this a policy your sister's gym has about not letting her on the L10 team? I would think the skills difference between a girl who qualified as a jr. elite and many high school gymnasts would be huge and not the most comfortable situation.
 
S

Smile :)

Guest
At our former gym, more than 1 girl qualified elite and even did a competition or 2 as an elite and then decided they didn't want to pursue that track and competed on the L10 team. Many have ended up with college scholarships and made several trips to JO Nationals, but did not train all through high school as an elite.

Is this a policy your sister's gym has about not letting her on the L10 team? I would think the skills difference between a girl who qualified as a jr. elite and many high school gymnasts would be huge and not the most comfortable situation.

Apparently she can petition to drop down to level 10 through the regional training coordinator which I am going to discuss with her coach on Monday. I don't think he was trying to be difficult I just don't think he's ever had a kid who tried to do that and really didn't realize it was possible. The timing is also a key of this from how I read things she needs about a year off from competing at an elite level which I think she will have sometime this fall.

When she competed (only as a floor exercise specialist because we wouldn't let her do anything else then) this past year I think there was a mixture of "wow she can tumble" and "they're just using her so they can win" so it wasn't always the most comfortable situation. She also "came out of nowhere" (since she moved to live with us a few months before gymnastics season) although in some cases that was probably positive since all of the rumors that unfortunately are probably circulating at her old gym haven't reached us yet. She is actually really looking forward to the high school season and getting to compete AA now that we are letting her vault again but I think maybe you're right and we need to give that some more thought. I can believe that it might be even less tolerated this year if she was competing AA rather than just doing floor.

As for the college scholarship issue it seems like most of the kids from her gym who are doing college gymnastics on scholarships (some of whom were around this summer teaching rec classes and training) seemed to make it to start competing L10 around their junior year so they did a few years of L10 and went off to college. So apparently that is one approach that has worked for them. I'm not really concerned about the college scholarship issue. I think if we figure out the other things that will fall into place. Or I hope it will.

 
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