Coaches problems with gymnast

[supercoach]

I have a British level(elite) gymnast, who always seems to be in the mood about something.
when i ask her to do something and she thinks its scary or doesn't want to do it she'll just get in a huff and not try. This makes her seem a little bit ruse and inconsiderate. I ask her whats wrong but she'll just say that there's 'no problem'. She wont communicate with me and seems to have too much going on in her life.
What is the best way of approaching this situations?
What should i tell her, and what should she do about this?

 

[coachmolly]

Tough situation. There are so many variables that can cause these kinds of behaviors, some being just teenage moodiness and some being a little bit more serious. You mention she seems to have a lot going on, are there family problems or issues outside of the gym? School, friends, etc.? If that is the case, I would tread lightly, though it's certainly not a reason for her to treat you this way. Perhaps you could just sit down and talk with her? Explain that she is a talented gymnast, but that the level of gymnastics she is doing can be dangerous if she is not trying her hardest. Perhaps remind her that because of her level she is seen as a role model in the gym and really needs to watch the things she says and does because younger kids are watching.
If it's more a problem of her just being difficult, I would also suggest a sit down chat with her, but perhaps you could be a bit more straightforward about your expectations for her. If her parents are supportive you could also ask to include them in the conversation to come up with a plan.
Try to keep encouraging her and remember not to take her behaviors personally. Maybe you could have a talk with the whole team about good sportsmanship and respecting one another (including the coach). You could work together to create a team "contract" that each girl has to sign and agree to abide by.
Good luck and let us know if you find something that works!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

I have a British level(elite) gymnast, who always seems to be in the mood about something.
when i ask her to do something and she thinks its scary or doesn't want to do it she'll just get in a huff and not try. This makes her seem a little bit ruse and inconsiderate. I ask her whats wrong but she'll just say that there's 'no problem'. She wont communicate with me and seems to have too much going on in her life.
What is the best way of approaching this situations?
What should i tell her, and what should she do about this?

send her to the ranch for an "attitude" adjustment. this kid is not an elite gymnast in any country...

 

[bogwoppit]

You are in the UK, and elite there is actually different than the US, about 8-11 years old. This information might be helpful to the other people on the board as Elite means different things world over.

 

[coachmolly]

Thanks, Bog! That sheds a different light on the situation.
Are her parents involved in her gymnastics? You might consider talking to them, asking if there are any stressors at home or if these behaviors are displayed anywhere besides the gym. If this is a pretty typical behavior for her, ask her parents if they have any tips for working through the issues or ways they would like them to be dealt with. I've coached some kids with behavioral problems whose parents are very diligent about me making them sit out (or other similar punishment) for talking back, not doing the assigned task, whatever the problem may be because they want a continuation of what they are doing at home to remedy the behavior. But this is something you will only find out if you talk to the parent directly, especially if they do not watch practices and are not aware that any of this is going on.
I would stick with some of my other suggestions, explain that gymnastics can be dangerous if she is not following directions and you don't want her to get hurt. I think this age group is also old enough to have a chat with the team about respecting the coach and each other and writing up a contract together.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

You are in the UK, and elite there is actually different than the US, about 8-11 years old. This information might be helpful to the other people on the board as Elite means different things world over.

ooops. it says US under the name. thought it was a USA coach coaching a kid from the UK.

 

[bogwoppit]

ooops. it says US under the name. thought it was a USA coach coaching a kid from the UK.

I was confused too, so I checked. Based in the UK.

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

I think everyone needs to refer to children as being in the 'elite stream' or 'on the elite path' rather than 'elite' in order to avoid confusion. We have five year olds training at high performance centres along with Olympians, but they do not get to call themselves elite until they earn it.

 

[bogwoppit]

I think everyone needs to refer to children as being in the 'elite stream' or 'on the elite path' rather than 'elite' in order to avoid confusion. We have five year olds training at high performance centres along with Olympians, but they do not get to call themselves elite until they earn it.

in the UK they are really called elite. It is a name for a certain age and skill level. We do not have elite in Canada we call ours International open.

The difficulty is different terms for different levels in different systems. All very confusing.

 

[iwannacoach]

Has she always been like this, or is it a recent thing.

I like to assume that the kids walk through the door each day because they want to be there, so in that context you have an pretty good chance of getting things figured out.....with her co-operation. Speaking of co-operation.....is it possible that she tried to offer some info in the past and was cut short because you didn't like the direction the conversation was heading.

That sort of brick wall gets put in place by some coaches, and there's times when it should be that way, but kids have a hard time relating to a brick wall response, don't know what that means in terms of their relationship with the coach, and eventually decide that communication with the coach is a losing proposition, even when the coach asks questions. If that's happened you have to keep asking the questions and start responding in a way the kid can digest, you just have to figure out what digest means for this kid and decide if that's where you want to go.

 

[Valentin]

My suggestion on this difficult topic

Pull her aside when she has one of these moments, and calmly, explain to her how this attitude and work ethic is counter productive. Does she realize what this is doing to her gymnastics? Sometimes it seems obvious to us, but the kids so damn pre-occupied with all sorts of other stuff, they just don't see the things the coach seems.. Assume the gymnast knows nothing.

Ask her, what will work for her under these circumstances. Do not accept, "I don't know ", " I don't want to " or anything along the lines of refusal to think and seek solution to problem. If she continues like that and does not communicate, tell her that going this way will lead to the same results as her not practicing, but at least she will not be taking time away from others, by you give her time extra time, so she might as well sit and think about whatever is troubling and how you as a coach and gymnast can go about fixing it, so that she can get back to focusing on training. At the very least she has to communicate (give her time limits).. Periodically check, if she has a solution (the hardly ever do, if they do, you know you can make a difference pretty quickly, and its just a need more time, drills, spotting, plain old anxiety, fear.. With support and listening, she will let you know). After an extended period of time, if she is refusing to communicate simply move on and call a conference with the parent (let the kid know that this will happen at the end of the allowed time before hand).

This will tell a lot. If she starts crying or gets anxious or agitated about the thought of her parents coming in you have likely a problem at home, or its something she really would like to avoid discussing with her parents. This complicates things, makes you have to step in an be the supportive, caring person who is there to help her, not punish her. And it takes this thread in a different direction, as the solution is highly dependent on the problem.

In a conference you an address the problem with the parents and get them to help you out. They might know the answer already. The parents are supposed to (and for many are) the first line of support and the people the talk to most about their troubles. But the coach not communicating is usually a sign of lack of trust in a way, which they hopefully don't have a problem with their parents about.

That be my first approach, hope its of some use